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Thread: Female Issues

  1. #1
    daman1's Avatar
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    Female Issues

    Female issues
    > > >
    > > >
    > > > Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    > > > A: No, 35 children is enough.
    > > >
    > > > Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    > > > A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
    > > >
    > > > Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    > > > A: Childbirth.
    > > >
    > > > Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes
    she's
    >borderline irrational.
    > > > A: So what's your question?
    > > >
    > > > Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during
    labor,
    >but pressure. Is she right?
    > > > A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air
    current.
    > > >
    > > > Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    > > > A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
    > > >
    > > > Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my
    wife
    >is in labor?
    > > > A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
    > > >
    > > > Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from
    childbirth?
    > > > A: Yes, pregnancy.
    > > >
    > > > Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    > > > A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
    > > >
    > > > Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel
    and
    >act
    >normal again?
    > > > A: When the kids are in college.
    > > >
    > > > "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
    > > >
    > > > 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
    > > >
    > > > 1 Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
    > > > 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
    >
    > > > 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
    > > > 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
    > > > 5 You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper
    sticker
    >that
    >says: "How's my
    > > > driving-call 1-800-"
    > > > 6 Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting-practice.
    > > > 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
    > > > 8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super
    Plus.
    > > > 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
    > > > 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
    > > >
    > > > TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
    > > >
    > > > 10. Cat's facial expressions.
    > > > 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
    > > > 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
    > > > 7. Fat clothes.
    > > > 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
    > > > 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and
    eggshell.
    > > > 4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
    > > > 3. Eyelash curlers.
    > > > 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
    > > > AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
    > > > 1. OTHER WOMEN

  2. #2
    bermich's Avatar
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    I love it. Should be a sticky along iwth the farts and pee thread.

  3. #3
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    > > > 8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super
    Plus. Why don't they?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by peam
    > > > 8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super
    Plus. Why don't they?

    See. Some girl does wonder.... Cause if it were any bigger you would be better off buying a paint roller and inserting that up there isntead of a tampon.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by bermich
    See. Some girl does wonder.... Cause if it were any bigger you would be better off buying a paint roller and inserting that up there isntead of a tampon.

    thanx for the sweet visual bermich!

  6. #6
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    yea........ berm always has a way of giving a visual image that makes it impossible to sleep, eat, or have sex........

    ok... maybe not the sex thing,,


    Quote Originally Posted by bermich
    See. Some girl does wonder.... Cause if it were any bigger you would be better off buying a paint roller and inserting that up there isntead of a tampon.
    The answer to your every question

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  7. #7
    peam's Avatar
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    BERMICH!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! Super plus doesn't seem that big to me.... dunno...

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by peam
    BERMICH!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! Super plus doesn't seem that big to me.... dunno...

    LOL. Uh ok. I could reply to this in a bad way but I wont.

  9. #9
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    > > > Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    > > > A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.



    ahuahuahaua

  10. #10
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    well peam, if ya need bigger I would recommend sheep...

  11. #11
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    Funny thread...I'm over here cracking up, and now my 26 year old teacher is over here reading this .

  12. #12
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    yeah guys..... Hey bermich... I'm a good girl... nothing bad you could come up with would be true..... just I bleed like a mother fu*ker.... hahaha.... sweet dreams boys!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by peam
    yeah guys..... Hey bermich... I'm a good girl... nothing bad you could come up with would be true..... just I bleed like a mother fu*ker.... hahaha.... sweet dreams boys!
    wow, uncool peam

  14. #14
    peam's Avatar
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    I can just imagaine your face.

  15. #15
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    I have the sudden urge to gouge my eyes out, pour bleach in eah socket, and then take a pair of egg beaters place them up my nostrils til they hit brain matter and purre' like a mofo...thanks peam...

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