03-24-2004, 11:22 AM #1
Is fantasizing a form of infidelity?
I had this debate with a girl friend yesterday...her argument was that when you secretly long for someone else and fantasize about them you might as well be cheating on your significant other.
Does the actual physical act constitute infidelity, or is it deeper than that and rooted in our own mind? My friend told me if I fantasized about other girls I was being unfaithful to my girlfriend and that I might as well do it physically because at least there isn't anything deeper behind that. Kind of a double edged sword since the fantasizing doesn't have repercussions, however the physical does. She said the fantasizing is worse because it connects mind with bodily desires, while actually cheating only involves the physical act.
I think it is impossible to go through the day and not fantasize about other girls even though I am committed to mine, and during sex sometimes I slip into fantasy mode and pretend I'm doing it with someone else. I wouldn't cheat on her physically, but is this cheating on her mentally? I don't feel bad when I do that because it makes things more interesting and turns me on more when I am not all that into it or tired. I think of it the same way as using some lube occasionally...it just helps things out.
Give it your best shot here, I want to blow her out of the water when I see her next.
03-24-2004, 11:27 AM #2
if its in your brain and you dont act, its not cheating, also if your dumb enough to tell your gf, wife, ****buddy that your thinkin of someone else...well you deserve what you get
03-24-2004, 11:28 AM #3
Bro bro bro... you haven't understood yet have you?
You are man, she is woman... It doesn't matter what arguement you give her, YOU CAN'T WIN!!!! Remember women don't have to make sense, they're just right... period.
03-24-2004, 11:32 AM #4AR-Hall of Famer / Retired
- Join Date
- Aug 2001
- Wherever necessary
agreed with Red - arguing is useless
and yes fantasy is cheating - tho not on the same level as physically doing so - let me ask you, would you have any problem with her fantasizing about your best friend when you are having sex with her? What if she starts thinking about him rather often and what it would be like - of course she isnt planning on doing anything - and you may never know - but do you really think that is ok for you? Would you not rather think that she thinks of you alone - and if you are commited to her, why would you want to consitantly think of someone else? Im not talking about in passing but something more than a few seconds
03-24-2004, 11:33 AM #5Originally Posted by Red Ketchup
03-24-2004, 11:33 AM #6
I agree with the others........ Unless you act on it then you're ok. Why did you tell her?
Oh and Red is right you can NEVER win.
03-24-2004, 11:58 AM #7
I think at some point throughout a mans life they have fantasies of other women,wether they're dating,or married.I've spoken to women about this topic as well.And ALL have said they had fantasies at one point in they're lives as well.
Do I feel it is a form of cheating?Absolutely NOT!!We were given imaginations,and we all use them for creativity,sexual desires and the list goes on and on.
I also agree with RED,it's a loosing battle,and best to keep your mouth shut!!
03-24-2004, 12:04 PM #8
I agree with cycleon on both points. Its not on the same level as physically doing it, but cheating none the less. Just on a different level
Originally Posted by CYCLEON
03-24-2004, 05:11 PM #9
If fantasizing is cheating, then every man and every woman in the history of the world has cheated. Fantasizing is healthy for a relationship. As far as you guys telling him to give up because he can't win the argument, forget that. Give her hell bro. I have never given in to a woman, and have never lost an argument. You guys are whipped. Did I mention that I am single. I can't figure out why.
03-24-2004, 05:16 PM #10Retired Vet
- Join Date
- Nov 2001
I fantasize about murdering my mother-in-law, guess I'm a murderer.
03-24-2004, 05:43 PM #11Originally Posted by BOUNCER
So your example is out of context.
03-24-2004, 06:04 PM #12Originally Posted by BOUNCER
03-24-2004, 08:07 PM #13
i won part two of the argumenta few minutes ago...
i told her that i fantasized about her at times...i said that since i fantasized about her and that i KNOW FOR A FACT she has fantasized about me, logically she should be ashamed for cheating on her friend with her friends boyfriend.
i told her i thought she was a terrible friend to my girl and that no real friend would do something like that to someone they trust. she recanted and said that she takes it back since she doesn't want to think about what i described.
she was all mixed up and i made it as convoluted as possible since she only has 2 gears working upstairs anyhow. i can't believe i got her to switch her opinion based on some lame logic meant to trick...she isn't even blonde.
03-25-2004, 04:24 AM #14
You wouldnt be human if you fantasized. Its what makes us human. Its called temptation and is totally ok for as long as it remains in the brain. once it becomes a physical act then you cheating boy
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