Anyone have experience with councilling?..

**BOUNCER** · 06-03-2004, 04:27 PM

Specifically suicide councilling for the family of a suicide victim?.

My wifes brother committe suicide last Wednesday (his birthday). The suicide has devastated the family as you can imagine. I went to my doc in the army the other day and was given a number to call for councilling for my wife and her family, however (this may sound silly to Americans) councilling isn't a big thing here, I don't know one person who's been through any.

Any of you guys got any experience here?. I'd appricate hearing anything positive and negative please. My wife hasn't rang the number yet and has totally withdrawn into herself, as has her mother, sister and brother.

**jbigdog69** · 06-03-2004, 04:41 PM

Sorry to hear Bro...Be strong, overcome, and adapt...Peace

ttuPrincess · 06-03-2004, 04:54 PM

very sorry to hear about your losss babe..

in reference to counslers.. please research and check their credintials.. the 1st one I went to was a jack a$$.. talked on his phone answered pages... talked about other clients.. barely listened to me then blamed it all on my dad..

finally found a christian cousler, who even though Im not christian, was wonderful.. expensive, but well worth it!!!!

so please do your research/homework or else you may end up with one that makes you feel even worse off then you did to start with.
Good luck!
Princess

**decadbal** · 06-03-2004, 05:02 PM

the main thing you have to remember and remind her about ,is suicide is normally caused by depression, which is anger and hatered point at yourself. her brother was gonna do it no matter, bc he did, they were out of reach, maybe back when it started to enter they could have done something, doubt it, most who actually go thru with it, have it predetermined and are not gonna be swayed, did he bring it up any, sound or act out about suicide, prolly not, most ppl who do are crying out and arnt gonna, they want attention. he prolly just up and did it. never the less, i am a clinical away from a BS in psychology(im not a psychologist by any means, but i know alot about it, PM me if you need any off the table help bro.. there are several awesome sites for surviving family members, just hit up google bro..) good luck and god bless you all in your time of need.

**punk_bbuilder** · 06-03-2004, 06:18 PM

Im very sorry for the tragidy that has struck your family. I work in a Residence hall on a college campus during the semester and find myself counseling 95% of the time. Different situations require different ways of handling. Im sure your family is very numb to what is going on around them due to the shock of losing the loved one. Really all you can do is go one day at a time and be there for them. The grieving process is a tough one.
My condolences to you and your family bro...If you ever need anything or just some advice PM me...Im not much but i have been there before with my residents. Take care and god bless,
punkbb

**CanadianSteel** · 06-03-2004, 06:55 PM

sorry to hear about your lose bro,

just talk to a certificied psychologicalist, that is a part of the APA ( American Psychology Association ),

**bad_man** · 06-03-2004, 07:05 PM

My wife is a psychologist. Princess is right that some are better than others but that goes with any profession. Given the circumstances, I think that counselling would be not only beneficial, it would border on being essential.

My wife is in the process of setting up an online counselling site. She's a couple of months away, otherwise I'd hook you up with her.

If you want, I can get some materials from her as far as initial questions to ask when looking for a good counsellor.

**Doc M** · 06-03-2004, 08:02 PM

Bouncer..You got a PM bro..Doc

**tryingtogetbig** · 06-03-2004, 10:21 PM

bump.....

**BOUNCER** · 06-03-2004, 11:59 PM

Thanks for the PM's guys, its all been great. 'BAD MAN', I'd appricate that last offer mate.

**cool7425** · 06-04-2004, 01:02 AM

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I myself have gone to a few counselors. Their approaches vary widely, and so to their qualifications. Make sure that you know about their credentials and about their approach to solving problems before you start working with them. When you start working with one you will know if this is the right person for you or not.

The two that I have gone to, the first one treated the symptoms but not the root cause of my problem; the second was great at helping me get to the cause and seemed to relate to my position.

Hang in there, we're all rooting for you.

**cabogirl** · 06-04-2004, 10:20 AM

I am sorry to hear about your loss it is a tragic situation, I know from a friend who went through the same thing. All I can say is she needs to talk about it or even write her feelings down on paper, yes I know that sounds silly but it is a release that she probably needs and a good friend to talk to. Sometimes it just takes a good friend to listen and hold onto you to let the hurt out. If she wants to talk ever, I am willing to listen.

**bad_man** · 06-05-2004, 06:21 AM

Here you go my man. Let me know if I can be of any more service.

**bigbouncinballs** · 06-05-2004, 02:13 PM

personal suicide counseling experience went great all three times. had other counselors when i was comin up that were total idiots though. hopefully she finds a good one, if she does, it usually ends up being very helpful, i'm glad i went with it. good luck.

**Quake** · 06-20-2004, 03:21 AM

Hey Bouncer, I work for my local Mental Health team, and suicide and all relating aspects are widely covered in training and on-going research. If you contact your Local Mental Health Authority and ask them for help regarding your recent personal tragedy they will be able to help you.

Hope it goes well for you bro!

**LilVito469** · 06-20-2004, 03:40 AM

sorry to hear about the loss bro...my condolences...but i cant say i been through counseling

**butterface** · 06-20-2004, 12:27 PM

Just out of experience, couselelors are after money and are just people like you and me and dont really help anything. Best thing is to look within your self and self-therapute. With a loss like this only thing to that will help is time. Best thing you can do is remmeber the good things about your brother-in-law and all the good times you had and know he is in a better place. A counselor will only suck your pocketbook dry and make you feel worse.

**Quake** · 06-21-2004, 02:32 AM

Originally Posted by butterface

Just out of experience, couselelors are after money and are just people like you and me and dont really help anything. Best thing is to look within your self and self-therapute. With a loss like this only thing to that will help is time. Best thing you can do is remmeber the good things about your brother-in-law and all the good times you had and know he is in a better place. A counselor will only suck your pocketbook dry and make you feel worse.

Slow down, that's dangerous advice there my friend! Self therapy is something which is often unavoidable as we all reflect upon personal experience to some extent, but during moments of great upheaval and personal tragedy (as well as at other times) we need a rock to anchor ourselves to unless we get lost in our own interpretations. At times when our minds are sensitive to profound thoughts and emotions it is essential for us to have someone who we can use as a reference for our thoughts to help make sense of them. I should have mentioned this before, but a counsellor will be there to listen to you and help you get all your thoughts and put them into words, often helping to make them clearer to yourself. A therapist is someone who will actually give you advice and help explain the way you are feeling or may be thinking. Don't spend too muchtime dwelling on thoughts all by yourself, you can reach conclusions that become twisted by your own emotions and experiences, this can lead to deeper depressions in the human psyche or even worse. Those who become depressed often feel lonely so seeking help from another person is often a great move for the persons psyche in itself.

Be mindful of the advice given in this forum regarding this matter. After all, most of us are only BB's or WL/PL's, and know very little about such matters.