The strip club mishap

**Paingain** · 07-19-2004, 09:48 PM

I think this story is funny as hell, so I thought I'd share. My buddy and I were at the strip club last night when all of a sudden my phone rang. I walk out to the fron of the place where it was a little quieter to talk and IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CONVERSATION this crackwhore looking bitch interrupts me by saying,"I'm hungry, take me to dinner!" I said "excuse me?" She repeated herself, so being the gentleman I am I replied, "Why dont you suck my ****in' dick!!!!?" She went and told the bouncers and she was all pointing over at our table, when the bouncers looked over I flipped off the whole group. They came walking over and asked me about the remark I had made. You know the type of bouncers who are fat as all hell but think they are tough guys?? Yeah, thats what I was dealing with. He put his hand on my shoulder and then I told him that I would tear through every bouncer in the place, that it was going to be a ****in bloodbath. Then my buddy who is also pretty jacked started in on the bouncers. He said, "what are you guys going to do, beat us up? It was so funny. There was like 4 or 5 of these fat asses and just us two picking them apart. To make a long story short, they walked away and let us stay. These places avoid calling the police at any cost, probably because of the drugs in there. **** like this just motivates me to be the biggest baddest dude I can be, and lift hard.

***Cycleon*** · 07-19-2004, 09:59 PM

and what does this teenage wet dream post have to do with any of the subjects that are discussed in this forum?

**Paingain** · 07-19-2004, 10:16 PM

It shows that with big muscles often comes respect, probably in the wrong forum but oh well.

**Daven** · 07-19-2004, 10:18 PM

....

**LilVito469** · 07-19-2004, 10:32 PM

Originally Posted by CYCLEON

and what does this teenage wet dream post have to do with any of the subjects that are discussed in this forum?

thats funny because i said the same thing to my self after i read it....

**inheritmylife** · 07-19-2004, 10:35 PM

5 on 2? They could have cracked both your skulls. You may be bad, but if they wanted you guys out of there they would have dragged you out unconscious.

**Blown_SC** · 07-19-2004, 10:57 PM

Originally Posted by Paingain

It shows that with big muscles often comes respect, probably in the wrong forum but oh well.

There isn't really a forum for this at all...

No worries though bro, I'm sure there were some hot girls who made some good cash from you too...
I like the rippers myself... fun times!

**Paingain** · 07-19-2004, 11:01 PM

5 on 2 isnt that bad when your dealing with fat idiots that think that just because they weigh 300 pounds they are tough. Nah bro, if you were there you would have agreed, I think they backed down.

**Blown_SC** · 07-19-2004, 11:06 PM

Bro, I dunno about you, but when I am in a room full of alcohol and naked ladies, the last thing I care about is how tough I am, or look...
I have a much better time when I am staring at breasts and behinds...
That's just me bro... just relax a bit, after all, they call them 'Gentlemen's Clubs' for a reason

...

**anaBROLIC** · 07-19-2004, 11:19 PM

u shoulda took the crackwhore out to dinner...

**Isaiah1SAS** · 07-19-2004, 11:25 PM

'Gentlemen's Clubs'

Hear ! Hear !

Respect for others begins by having respect for oneself. No one can give what they do not have. The present is a fine time to begin having respect and showing respect.

Bouncers... there is always cold steel and firearms in the escalating response to THREAT. Use your legs, protect your knees, move serpentine, look like the least threatening individual in the room, remember that John Moses Browning invented the equalizer that COLT used to give every man a pretty fair chance no matter how quick or strong, and when all is said and done the CREATOR chooses the victor-- HE sets them down.
I wager many men have treated strippers and crack whores better at times than their own flesh and blood-- I have. I think there is a place for respect, balance, cover, concealment, and especially MODERATION in all of this.

AnabolicAlien · 07-20-2004, 03:49 AM

...

LM1332 · 07-20-2004, 04:16 AM

its like the rerun of gqs story

**Prime** · 07-20-2004, 05:17 AM

I think he should feel lucky that he wasnt in GQBouncers club. I believe flipping them off would count as some form of assault, and you'd be leaving on a stretcher

**bor** · 07-20-2004, 05:32 AM

How is this in the wrong forum?

**bor** · 07-20-2004, 05:34 AM

Good story btw. Goes to show that when you muscle up you don't have to take sh!t from fat bouncers that think they are the law, and talk to you like you aren't a paying customer but a piece of sh!t that should be lucky he got into their fabulous club!

**Blown_SC** · 07-20-2004, 06:04 AM

Originally Posted by bor

Good story btw. Goes to show that when you muscle up you don't have to take sh!t from fat bouncers that think they are the law, and talk to you like you aren't a paying customer but a piece of sh!t that should be lucky he got into their fabulous club!

I refer you to posts 2, 4, 6, 7 & 9...

**Maraxus** · 07-20-2004, 06:25 AM

Thats pretty cool bro. One time I was an ex Military Special forces kind of guy, and someone kidnapped my daughter. They caught me and told me the that I had to kill a foreign dictator for me to get my daughter back. So they threw me in a plane to South America with this one big black dude. Then I broke his neck, snuck into the bottow of the plane and jumped 500+feet in the air where I landed in this shallow marsh.

I then proceeded to follow this one dude named Sulley in this red Alfa Romero that I stole with this girl driving, and can you believe it was Ray Dawn Chong??? So we go throught this whole fight scene in a mall and I take out like 10 security guards. So this guy takes off in his yellow porsche so we follow his ass and we catch him, and i dangle him off his foot over a ledge with one arm. I get some info off this loser and I say this one catchy like "Remember when I told you I was gonna kill you last?....I lied."
That was really cool

So I then rob a Gun store that doubles as the worlds leading supplier in weapons. I jack a plane, fly to South America. I kill around 187 Soldiers with my never endind supply of bullets, and I occasionally use hardware material, like blades for saws, pitchforks and the like.

I kill all these bitches and then I get my daughter back.

Thats my story

**OGPackin** · 07-20-2004, 06:29 AM

Originally Posted by Maraxus

Thats pretty cool bro. One time I was an ex Military Special forces kind of guy, and someone kidnapped my daughter. They caught me and told me the that I had to kill a foreign dictator for me to get my daughter back. So they threw me in a plane to South America with this one big black dude. Then I broke his neck, snuck into the bottow of the plane and jumped 500+feet in the air where I landed in this shallow marsh.

I then proceeded to follow this one dude named Sulley in this red Alfa Romero that I stole with this girl driving, and can you believe it was Ray Dawn Chong??? So we go throught this whole fight scene in a mall and I take out like 10 security guards. So this guy takes off in his yellow porsche so we follow his ass and we catch him, and i dangle him off his foot over a ledge with one arm. I get some info off this loser and I say this one catchy like "Remember when I told you I was gonna kill you last?....I lied."
That was really cool

So I then rob a Gun store that doubles as the worlds leading supplier in weapons. I jack a plane, fly to South America. I kill around 187 Soldiers with my never endind supply of bullets, and I occasionally use hardware material, like blades for saws, pitchforks and the like.

I kill all these bitches and then I get my daughter back.

Thats my story

Now thats a story bro....

OG

**Juggernaut** · 07-20-2004, 06:35 AM

Originally Posted by Maraxus

Thats pretty cool bro. One time I was an ex Military Special forces kind of guy, and someone kidnapped my daughter. They caught me and told me the that I had to kill a foreign dictator for me to get my daughter back. So they threw me in a plane to South America with this one big black dude. Then I broke his neck, snuck into the bottow of the plane and jumped 500+feet in the air where I landed in this shallow marsh.

I then proceeded to follow this one dude named Sulley in this red Alfa Romero that I stole with this girl driving, and can you believe it was Ray Dawn Chong??? So we go throught this whole fight scene in a mall and I take out like 10 security guards. So this guy takes off in his yellow porsche so we follow his ass and we catch him, and i dangle him off his foot over a ledge with one arm. I get some info off this loser and I say this one catchy like "Remember when I told you I was gonna kill you last?....I lied."
That was really cool

So I then rob a Gun store that doubles as the worlds leading supplier in weapons. I jack a plane, fly to South America. I kill around 187 Soldiers with my never endind supply of bullets, and I occasionally use hardware material, like blades for saws, pitchforks and the like.

I kill all these bitches and then I get my daughter back.

Thats my story

Not too bad but I came back from the future to father my own son to save the world....top that! And to top it off I had to kill this freaking cyborg that just would not get off my ass!

**Maraxus** · 07-20-2004, 06:37 AM

Originally Posted by Juggernaut2148

Not too bad but I came back from the future to father my own son to save the world....top that! And to top it off I had to kill this freaking cyborg that just would not get off my ass!

Dude that is so last month!

**Paingain** · 07-20-2004, 06:49 AM

actually, I was sent back in time to put a crackwhore in her place ,they call me The Crack Commando

**Maraxus** · 07-20-2004, 06:51 AM

**** I guess I cant get one past you....You must be the smart one....

**Mart651** · 07-20-2004, 06:51 AM

Originally Posted by Maraxus

Thats pretty cool bro. One time I was an ex Military Special forces kind of guy, and someone kidnapped my daughter. They caught me and told me the that I had to kill a foreign dictator for me to get my daughter back. So they threw me in a plane to South America with this one big black dude. Then I broke his neck, snuck into the bottow of the plane and jumped 500+feet in the air where I landed in this shallow marsh.

I then proceeded to follow this one dude named Sulley in this red Alfa Romero that I stole with this girl driving, and can you believe it was Ray Dawn Chong??? So we go throught this whole fight scene in a mall and I take out like 10 security guards. So this guy takes off in his yellow porsche so we follow his ass and we catch him, and i dangle him off his foot over a ledge with one arm. I get some info off this loser and I say this one catchy like "Remember when I told you I was gonna kill you last?....I lied."
That was really cool

So I then rob a Gun store that doubles as the worlds leading supplier in weapons. I jack a plane, fly to South America. I kill around 187 Soldiers with my never endind supply of bullets, and I occasionally use hardware material, like blades for saws, pitchforks and the like.

I kill all these bitches and then I get my daughter back.

Thats my story

I don't believe you.

**Maraxus** · 07-20-2004, 06:52 AM

Originally Posted by Martha

I don't believe you.

Yes you do.

**Mart651** · 07-20-2004, 06:53 AM

Originally Posted by Maraxus

Yes you do.

Ok I do.

**Mart651** · 07-20-2004, 06:53 AM

Originally Posted by Maraxus

Yes you do.

Wait a second. Did you just use the Jedi mind trick on me?

**Maraxus** · 07-20-2004, 06:54 AM

I might have.

**medic23** · 07-20-2004, 07:05 AM

yeah

**Juggernaut** · 07-20-2004, 07:26 AM

Originally Posted by Martha

Wait a second. Did you just use the Jedi mind trick on me?

Maraxus is not the robot you're looking for. Move along now.

**OGPackin** · 07-20-2004, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by Martha

Wait a second. Did you just use the Jedi mind trick on me?

Waves hand...send me all ur gear....

OG

**Mart651** · 07-20-2004, 07:51 AM

Maraxus is not the robot I'm looking for.

Whats your address OG?

Wait a second. The Jedi mind trick does not work on the feeble minded. HAH. Yall have no power over me.

**OGPackin** · 07-20-2004, 08:00 AM

Originally Posted by Martha

Maraxus is not the robot I'm looking for.

Whats your address OG?

Wait a second. The Jedi mind trick does not work on the feeble minded. HAH. Yall have no power over me.

darn...

OG

**Isaiah1SAS** · 07-20-2004, 03:55 PM

Thats pretty cool bro. One time I was an ex Military Special forces kind of guy, and someone kidnapped my daughter. They caught me and told me the that I had to kill a foreign dictator for me to get my daughter back. So they threw me in a plane to South America with this one big black dude. Then I broke his neck, snuck into the bottow of the plane and jumped 500+feet in the air where I landed in this shallow marsh.

I then proceeded to follow this one dude named Sulley in this red Alfa Romero that I stole with this girl driving, and can you believe it was Ray Dawn Chong??? So we go throught this whole fight scene in a mall and I take out like 10 security guards. So this guy takes off in his yellow porsche so we follow his ass and we catch him, and i dangle him off his foot over a ledge with one arm. I get some info off this loser and I say this one catchy like "Remember when I told you I was gonna kill you last?....I lied."
That was really cool

So I then rob a Gun store that doubles as the worlds leading supplier in weapons. I jack a plane, fly to South America. I kill around 187 Soldiers with my never endind supply of bullets, and I occasionally use hardware material, like blades for saws, pitchforks and the like.

I kill all these bitches and then I get my daughter back.

Thats my story

Dang, Maraxus ! Thats a GREAT story ! Let me tell you mine. I'm a slow, old, out-of-shape, ex-tank commander and I met several fine ladies at a strip club. Word got around that I was looking for a babe that wanted out of the biz and a long term relationship. Well, I interveiwed all the ladies in the club that I could afford, paying them each $20.00 for interviewing with me (I didn't know they were taking my money at the time, but they are really good at getting money you know). Then, somebody ramed my parked car trying to interrupt my interview process. I did have a very nice time, however, every time I tried to dance with the ladies they kept trying get in my lap. They thought I was old fashioned or dorky slow-dancing with them.
Well, a crushed car and hundreds of dollars later I finally got a date. She is absolutely gorgeous. We were to begin the day with brunch at IHOP, but I stood her up...
I really like that part how you jumped 500 feet out of an airplane ! I know that hurts. I've free fallen through the air and hit the ground at 45 mph. I sustained significant brain damage during that event, but I refuse to let it slow me down. Lots of guys have been hurt worse when the bench press free weights came down on their necks while their spotter wasn't watching.
Do you think I should ask the lady at the strip club out again and really follow through this time ?

**inheritmylife** · 07-20-2004, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by Isaiah1SAS

Dang, Maraxus ! Thats a GREAT story ! Let me tell you mine. I'm a slow, old, out-of-shape, ex-tank commander and I met several fine ladies at a strip club. Word got around that I was looking for a babe that wanted out of the biz and a long term relationship. Well, I interveiwed all the ladies in the club that I could afford, paying them each $20.00 for interviewing with me (I didn't know they were taking my money at the time, but they are really good at getting money you know). Then, somebody ramed my parked car trying to interrupt my interview process. I did have a very nice time, however, every time I tried to dance with the ladies they kept trying get in my lap. They thought I was old fashioned or dorky slow-dancing with them.
Well, a crushed car and hundreds of dollars later I finally got a date. She is absolutely gorgeous. We were to begin the day with brunch at IHOP, but I stood her up...
I really like that part how you jumped 500 feet out of an airplane ! I know that hurts. I've free fallen through the air and hit the ground at 45 mph. I sustained significant brain damage during that event, but I refuse to let it slow me down. Lots of guys have been hurt worse when the bench press free weights came down on their necks while their spotter wasn't watching.
Do you think I should ask the lady at the strip club out again and really follow through this time ?

Yea, Maraxus is a salty old war crazed bodybuilder. Listen new guy, if you stick around long enough he'll tell you the one where he and his team of select SF were dropped into Columbia by the CIA for the purpose of killing off the drug cartels. Word is one of President Reagans friends was killed doing underhanded buisness with the Columbians. Revenge type of thing.

Anyways, the elite team of SF were abandoned at some point in the jungles of Columbia and their location was sold out to the cartels. It was a bloodbath. Only Maraxus and a few others made it out alive.

**Phillyboy1** · 07-20-2004, 05:53 PM

guess what guys.... i figured id tell the truth, im one of the fat bouncers this guy stood up to. and yes we were all scared and backed down to him. god i hate being a fat over weight bouncer

**Blown_SC** · 07-20-2004, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by jcstomper

guess what guys.... i figured id tell the truth, im one of the fat bouncers this guy stood up to. and yes we were all scared and backed down to him. god i hate being a fat over weight bouncer

I'm glad you held me JC, I was about to wimper...

**decadbal** · 07-20-2004, 06:13 PM

a gentleman woud have told the crack whore to simple finesse his clean penis till it ejaculates into her filthy whorish mouth.. dont talk back to cycleon..youll regret it..lol

**Phillyboy1** · 07-20-2004, 06:56 PM

Originally Posted by Blown_SC

I'm glad you held me JC, I was about to wimper...

i try bro i try, i figured while your blowing SC youd need someone to hold ya after all of that hahahaha. im a funny guy tonight lol. im just happy i just paid off all of my credit card bills.... now i want a f-cking cheese steak but i cant, nooooo i hvae to wait till f-cking sunday, which is cheat day. i hate working out i tell ya

**Isaiah1SAS** · 07-20-2004, 07:17 PM

Yea, Maraxus is a salty old war crazed bodybuilder. Listen new guy, if you stick around long enough he'll tell you the one where he and his team of select SF were dropped into Columbia by the CIA for the purpose of killing off the drug cartels. Word is one of President Reagans friends was killed doing underhanded buisness with the Columbians. Revenge type of thing.

Anyways, the elite team of SF were abandoned at some point in the jungles of Columbia and their location was sold out to the cartels. It was a bloodbath. Only Maraxus and a few others made it out alive.

Blood bath... Yeah, one my heroes just got wasted here in Dallas Ft Worth and sent to jail ABOVE THE FEDERAL GUIDELINES as a warning to all us American sheeple to pay-up or else ! We will not be treated with kid gloves like NYSE/ENRON/HALIBURTON/Martha Stewart
Mr. Richard Simkanin,59 wasted in the blood bath...

One of my heroes

http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_b...ter_r.htmlJust

Blood bath... yeah inheritmylife, gardening and cultivation is dangerous. Just look what happened to Captain Blye on the HMS Bounty and that was only Bread Fruit plants. Why let Merck, Pfizer, corrupt politicians, law enforcement, and the 7th Cav have all the fun. It is important to treat strippers and their bouncers and down & out crack whores the way we'd want to be treated if we were in their type of circumstance.
I've lived such a sheltered life that I want to get into a little gardening. Still, I wonder if I should follow-up on that date or not...

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