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  1. #1
    elicotton is offline Associate Member
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    Amateur hour @ Western Union (kinda long)

    OK, I’m new to the cloak and dagger stuff and I just made myself look like a real dumbazz.

    A friend and I decide to place an order for some “supplements”. The deal is that I know where to get them for about 1/3 of what he’s paying at the gym, so he readily agrees that everything will be in his name and shipped to his address. Also, he doesn’t have internet access at his home, and isn’t into computers, so he’s happy with me handling that end.

    Anyway, he filled out the Western Union form thinking he will take care of it on his lunch break, but his girl calls and wants to go to lunch with him, so he calls me to see if I mind doing it for him on my lunch. I agree, and when I get in my car to leave, there is an envelope on my windshield and in it is the Western Union form already filled out with his info on it. I figure what the hell, it’s not quite $1000, so I won’t be asked for ID.

    I get to the store that I normally use for this, and the first thing I notice is the little hottie behind the counter. (Usually it’s this old bitchy women.) Anyway, I hand her the form and she looks up and says, “Wow, John Brown from Hellsville. (All names have been changed to protect the guilty). I think I graduated High School with your brother. (Now, my friend graduated from a very small school in a rual area about 20 miles from here. He also has a very unusual last name.)

    Now, I realize now that I should have just said, “No, I’m actually doing this for a friend.” or something like that but instead I say, “No, I don’t have any brothers.” She looks real confused and said, “Man, that’s just wild, I know a guy with the same name as you who lives in the same neighborhood. I used to go to their house to ride horses. He is a real big guy, too.”

    At this point I’m trying not to laugh. As the girl is getting everything ready, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and this old guy who used to work for me in a textile mill is standing behind me with a big smile on his face. “Hey hey! Mr. (insert my real name here) How’ve you been, son?” After I pick my mouth up off the floor, small talk ensues, such as “where you working, living, hows the wife, etc.” So now, if she wanted to eavesdrop, this chick has heard my life story.

    The dude leaves, and I turn back around to face the chick and get my receipt. The friggin confused look on her face almost made me lol, but I just played it cool. Finally she says, “Where in the world is the place you’re sending money to?” “Somewhere in Europe.” I answer. At this point she gets a very troubled look on her face but doesn’t say anything else, and I take my receipt and start to walk away. Just as I turn around, there is my bosses wife standing right behind me holding her baby. “Hi, ****, how are you?” I just told her I was late getting back to work, and had to hurry.

    Now I’m going to be wondering all night if the chick behind the counter told my bosses wife about the episode, because if so, she will tell her husband who is my boss. I guess I’ll just ask him when it became illegal to send money to “Save the Children” via Western Union.

  2. #2
    Isaiah1SAS's Avatar
    Isaiah1SAS is offline Associate Member
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    It's a good thing you're not Guadalcanal fighter ace Joe Foss-- she would have made you take our boots off and surrender your Medal of Honor. LOL Superpowers, international police forces, homeland security, Hey-- let's be like the communists and spy on each other. War profiteering and drug profiteering have a high price tag even at Western Union it seems.

  3. #3
    twosocks40's Avatar
    twosocks40 is offline Member
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    Thats pretty funny. I don't think anything else could have went wrong in there for you. Unless your mom showed up too.


    -B

  4. #4
    Lozgod's Avatar
    Lozgod is offline Anabolic Member
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    Western Unioning people money isnt a crime so you can say what you want, its for a mail-order bride, a special japanese penis pump, german plastic vagina, whatever, so dont sweat it.


    Quote Originally Posted by elicotton
    OK, I’m new to the cloak and dagger stuff and I just made myself look like a real dumbazz.

    A friend and I decide to place an order for some “supplements”. The deal is that I know where to get them for about 1/3 of what he’s paying at the gym, so he readily agrees that everything will be in his name and shipped to his address. Also, he doesn’t have internet access at his home, and isn’t into computers, so he’s happy with me handling that end.

    Anyway, he filled out the Western Union form thinking he will take care of it on his lunch break, but his girl calls and wants to go to lunch with him, so he calls me to see if I mind doing it for him on my lunch. I agree, and when I get in my car to leave, there is an envelope on my windshield and in it is the Western Union form already filled out with his info on it. I figure what the hell, it’s not quite $1000, so I won’t be asked for ID.

    I get to the store that I normally use for this, and the first thing I notice is the little hottie behind the counter. (Usually it’s this old bitchy women.) Anyway, I hand her the form and she looks up and says, “Wow, John Brown from Hellsville. (All names have been changed to protect the guilty). I think I graduated High School with your brother. (Now, my friend graduated from a very small school in a rual area about 20 miles from here. He also has a very unusual last name.)

    Now, I realize now that I should have just said, “No, I’m actually doing this for a friend.” or something like that but instead I say, “No, I don’t have any brothers.” She looks real confused and said, “Man, that’s just wild, I know a guy with the same name as you who lives in the same neighborhood. I used to go to their house to ride horses. He is a real big guy, too.”

    At this point I’m trying not to laugh. As the girl is getting everything ready, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and this old guy who used to work for me in a textile mill is standing behind me with a big smile on his face. “Hey hey! Mr. (insert my real name here) How’ve you been, son?” After I pick my mouth up off the floor, small talk ensues, such as “where you working, living, hows the wife, etc.” So now, if she wanted to eavesdrop, this chick has heard my life story.

    The dude leaves, and I turn back around to face the chick and get my receipt. The friggin confused look on her face almost made me lol, but I just played it cool. Finally she says, “Where in the world is the place you’re sending money to?” “Somewhere in Europe.” I answer. At this point she gets a very troubled look on her face but doesn’t say anything else, and I take my receipt and start to walk away. Just as I turn around, there is my bosses wife standing right behind me holding her baby. “Hi, ****, how are you?” I just told her I was late getting back to work, and had to hurry.

    Now I’m going to be wondering all night if the chick behind the counter told my bosses wife about the episode, because if so, she will tell her husband who is my boss. I guess I’ll just ask him when it became illegal to send money to “Save the Children” via Western Union.

  5. #5
    twosocks40's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lozgod
    Western Unioning people money isnt a crime so you can say what you want, its for a mail-order bride, a special japanese penis pump, german plastic vagina, whatever, so dont sweat it.

    Yea, but what do you say to your bosses wife? Penis pump?


    -B

  6. #6
    Lozgod's Avatar
    Lozgod is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by twosocks40
    Yea, but what do you say to your bosses wife? Penis pump?


    -B
    Special Swedish Herpes Cure.

  7. #7
    Isaiah1SAS's Avatar
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    Now that would have been real time funny ! I wonder what would have happened in this sheeple event if his mother had come in ! This could be a sit com. It's getting hard to tell where the all intrusive government and nazi gestopo-type control freaks end and personal liberty begins. Oh, this Rx drug market control trap and the desperate web it weaves. I think Western Union as a sit com has a shot at late night tv and should be rewritten with the aim of having it published here-- $50.00 in trade and by line... I think the show should be called JUICE and all the BB's and wanabes can be extras. Mass Junkigets a CAMEO causehe has ball point pen tats and can take the flames. I should get something special too because I'm funnier than all of you put together.
    Last edited by Isaiah1SAS; 07-23-2004 at 04:32 PM.

  8. #8
    elicotton is offline Associate Member
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    How the hell did you know about the penis pump?

  9. #9
    AandF6969's Avatar
    AandF6969 is offline Made Up Of Wires
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isaiah1SAS
    It's a good thing you're not Guadalcanal fighter ace Joe Foss-- she would have made you take our boots off and surrender your Medal of Honor. LOL Superpowers, international police forces, homeland security, Hey-- let's be like the communists and spy on each other. War profiteering and drug profiteering have a high price tag even at Western Union it seems.
    Dude are you fcking retarded? Try posting something that makes sense someday

  10. #10
    Lozgod's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AandF6969
    Dude are you fcking retarded? Try posting something that makes sense someday
    I think he is a World War I vet.

  11. #11
    Benches505's Avatar
    Benches505 is offline 75% HGH 25% Testosterone
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    I just hope you get your Sheit! I always sweat when ordering overseas gear.

  12. #12
    elicotton is offline Associate Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benches505
    I just hope you get your Sheit! I always sweat when ordering overseas gear.

    Had good luck with this cat so far. Always a worry tho.

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