War Between Ireland And France Averted

**OGPackin** · 10-11-2004, 06:29 AM

Bouncer this ones for u bro....

OG

> WAR BETWEEN IRELAND AND FRANCE AVERTED
>
> Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office
> wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United
> States when his telephone rang.
>
> "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down
> at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that
> we are officially declaring war on you!"
>
> "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
> your army?"
>
> "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself,
> me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team
> from the pub. That makes eight!"
>
> Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand
> men in my army waiting to move on my command."
>
> "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
>
> Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
> still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"
>
> "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked.
>
> "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
>
> Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks
> and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one
> hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."
>
> "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
>
> Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still
> on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie
> McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
> four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
>
> Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
> you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military
> complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
> since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"
>
> "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
>
> Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin',
>
> Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
>
> "I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
>
> "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and
> decided there's no foo-kin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners

**BOUNCER** · 10-11-2004, 06:40 AM

Excellent, just been forwarded to everyone!.

**decadbal** · 10-11-2004, 09:32 AM

like france could beat Ireland... those whiny bitchs couldnt beat a defenseless child

**Red Ketchup** · 10-11-2004, 09:43 AM

Ahhh good oold bigotry... gotta love it...

Red

**Harvey Balboner** · 10-11-2004, 09:54 AM

classic

**Elysium** · 10-11-2004, 10:17 AM

Hahaha thats great. I can imagine the irish doing that, they are always doing dumb stuff. Stupid irish, aint that right bouncer, stupid irish.

I got a joke for ya

An irish man walks into a bar...

- Ouch!

**decadbal** · 10-11-2004, 10:34 AM

Originally Posted by MESSY_UK

Hahaha thats great. I can imagine the irish doing that, they are always doing dumb stuff. Stupid irish, aint that right bouncer, stupid irish.

I got a joke for ya

An irish man walks into a bar...

- Ouch!

now i really hate u..lol

**Bigen12** · 10-11-2004, 10:37 AM

Originally Posted by MESSY_UK

Hahaha thats great. I can imagine the irish doing that, they are always doing dumb stuff. Stupid irish, aint that right bouncer, stupid irish.

I got a joke for ya

An irish man walks into a bar...

- Ouch!

Be careful, most Irish are overly aggressive, at least I know I am...

**Elysium** · 10-11-2004, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by Bigen12

Be careful, most Irish are overly aggressive, at least I know I am...

A few pints and you guys usually calm down.

**irish bulldog** · 10-11-2004, 03:27 PM

some say the irish are stupid but they built the titanic(7 miles from my house)
emmmmmmmm and they made the deloran (50 miles from my house)
and they make guiness

but im not stupid cause i live in northern ireland which is techically the uk.
**** im boring myself

**OGPackin** · 10-11-2004, 03:47 PM

Originally Posted by irish bulldog

some say the irish are stupid but they built the titanic(7 miles from my house)
emmmmmmmm and they made the deloran (50 miles from my house)
and they make guiness

but im not stupid cause i live in northern ireland which is techically the uk.
**** im boring myself

OG

**BOUNCER** · 10-11-2004, 04:10 PM

Originally Posted by irish bulldog

but im not stupid cause i live in northern ireland which is techically the uk.
**** im boring myself

I wouldn't boast about that one my friend.

**OGPackin** · 10-11-2004, 04:13 PM

Originally Posted by BOUNCER

I wouldn't boast about that one my friend.

I was going to say something, but i figured id let u do the honors bro...

OG

**BOUNCER** · 10-11-2004, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by OGPackin

I was going to say something, but i figured id let u do the honors bro...

OG

I could have said more, but I'll hold my peace.

**Elysium** · 10-12-2004, 06:35 AM

Originally Posted by irish bulldog

some say the irish are stupid but they built the titanic(7 miles from my house)
emmmmmmmm and they made the deloran (50 miles from my house)
and they make guiness

but im not stupid cause i live in northern ireland which is techically the uk.
**** im boring myself

LOL THE TITANIC SANK!

**irish bulldog** · 10-12-2004, 11:54 AM

yes messy i know the reply i posted was taking the piss,the titanic sank and the deloran car manufactures went bust,im proud to be irish too

**decadbal** · 10-12-2004, 12:00 PM

hes just mad bc of centuries the english have tried to destroy the irish and failed...

**Elysium** · 10-12-2004, 02:06 PM

Originally Posted by Decadbal

hes just mad bc of centuries the english have tried to destroy the irish and failed...

On a more serious note, they do quite a good job of destroying themselves.

**BOUNCER** · 10-13-2004, 06:16 AM

Originally Posted by MESSY_UK

On a more serious note, they do quite a good job of destroying themselves.

You mean the war in Northern Ireland?. Another British fvck up. You denied Irish catholics basic human rights, even the right to vote was denied untill 1973. We couldn't apply for good jobs, because they went to Protestants (loyal to the British crown). And the Titanic!, it was built by Protestants. Maybe if catholic workers were allowed build it it wouldn't have sank, just look at the job we've done on our economy, its booming. Unlike you, we've never suffered a depression in our economy.

Will I touch on the famine, from 1846-1848 when 8 million Irish people starved to death because the British government (who oppressed us at the time) wouldn't help feed us. Nope, Ireland's distress was Britains oppertunity to quell a rebellion, you starved us to death, but still we fought your oppression. But when your country was in trouble we fought your war's, check out the Irish regiments in WWI and WWII. Although we fought you here in the Easter rebellion of 1916 we also fought in your army in Flanders and other battle fields in Europe.

Any blaim for unrest in Northern Ireland can be put squarely at England feet.

Quote from P.H.Pearse reads:

The fools the fools the fools,
They have left us our Fenian dead
And while Ireland holds these graves
Ireland unfree shall never be at peace.