Decadbal Smashes Masturbation Record!

[Pale Horse]

After reading about the recent record breaking an irritated Decadbal went on a rampage. After hearing the news he b-lined to Walgreens where he chose several lubricants to try to overtake the record. (he will not disclose which ones)

"I may be small but I've got a lot of bullets!" replied Decadbal. "So what if I am a mere 3" long and .5" wide, I've got drive and determination on my side!"

He promptly disappeared for a period of several days where it is rumored he ate oysters by the dozen, watched midget porn and played with himself to build up for the big show.

After coming out of the 3 day seclusion he looked like he was ready for action. In a matter of minutes he had smashed the record and set the new benchmark at 42 before throwing in the towel.

" See everyone makes fun, but this is where premature ejaculation comes in handy. I don't see it as a handicap. I see it as a weakness turned into a strength."