Southern Football vs Northern Football

[Consistency]

Football: North vs. South

WOMEN'S ATTIRE

Up North: Chapstick in their back pocket and a $20 bill in their front pocket.

Down South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, powder, mascara (waterproof), concealer, and a bottle Perrier. Wallet not necessary-that's what dates are for.

STADIUM SIZE

Up north: College football stadiums hold 20,000.

Down south: High school football stadiums hold 20,000

NAMES

Up North: Doug Flutie

Down South: Dion Sanders

WEATHER

Up North: Snow and Ice.

Down South: Sunny, highs mid-60s, lows in the thirties.

FATHERS

Up North: Expect their daughter to understand Sylvia Plath.

Down South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

ATTIRE

Up North: Male and female alike: woolly sweater or sweatshirt, jeans.

Down South: Male - pressed khakis, oxford shirt, cap with frat logo, Panthers. Female - ankle-length skirt, coordinated cardigan, flat riding boots, oxford.

ALUMNI

Up North: Take prospects on sailing trips before they join the law firm.

Down South: Take prospects on fishing trips so they don't leave for the NFL their senior year.

CAMPUS DECOR

Up North: Statues of Founding Fathers.

Down South: Statues of Heisman Trophy winners.

HOMECOMING QUEEN

Up North: Also a physics major.

Down South: Also Miss USA.

HEROES

Up North: Mario Cuomo

Down South: "Bear" Bryant, Bobby Bowden, Steve Spurrier

GETTING TICKETS

Up North: 5 days before the game you can walk into the ticket office on campus and still purchase tickets.

Down South: 5 months before the game you can walk into the ticket office on campus and still be placed on the waiting list for tickets.

FRIDAY CLASSES AFTER A THURSDAY NIGHT GAME

Up North: Students and Teachers are not sure if they are going because they have class on Friday.

Down South: Teachers cancel class on Friday because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class on Friday.

PARKING

Up North: An hour or two before game time the university opens the campus for game parking.

Down South: RV's sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend's festivities. The real faithful begin arriving on Tuesday.

GAME DAY

Up North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.

Down South: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting Game Day "Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots from up North who wonder why Game Day is never broadcast from their campus.

TAILGATING

Up North: Wieners on the grill, beer with a lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.

Down South: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by Hootie & the Blowfish, who come over during breaks and ask for a couple bottles of beer.

GETTING TO THE STADIUM

Up North: You have to ask, "Where's the stadium?" When you find it you walk right in with no line. Down South: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day, it becomes the state's third largest city.

CONCESSIONS

Up North: Drinks served in a paper cup filled to the top with soda.

Down South: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's mascot-filled less than halfway to ensure enough room for bourbon.

WHEN THE NATIONAL ANTHEM IS PLAYED

Up North: Stands are less than half full.

Down South: 80,000+ fans sing along in perfect 3-part harmony.

THE SMELL IN THE AIR AFTER THE FIRST SCORE

Up North: Nothing changes.

Down South: Fireworks with a twist of beer.

COMMENTARY (MALE)

Up North: "Nice play."

Down South: "Dammit you slow sumbitch! Tackle him and break his legs!!!"

COMMENTARY (FEMALE)
Up North: "My, this is a violent sport."

Down South: "Dammit you slow sumbitch! Tackle him and break his legs!!!"

AFTER THE GAME

Up North: The stadium is empty before the game ends.

Down South: Another rack of ribs on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more beer, planning begins for next week's party.

[Nutz56]

i like it

[BUBBA74]

Southern Foosball Fo Sho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mushroomstampr]

Being a NY'er going to school at Clemson in south carolina I gotta agree

[Consistency]

These are my favorite

GAME DAY

Up North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.

Down South: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting Game Day "Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots from up North who wonder why Game Day is never broadcast from their campus.

TAILGATING

Up North: Wieners on the grill, beer with a lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.

Down South: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by Hootie & the Blowfish, who come over during breaks and ask for a couple bottles of beer.

CONCESSIONS

Up North: Drinks served in a paper cup filled to the top with soda.

Down South: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the

[Big Rush]

ahhh, so true

[ArkansasAlex]

we are better at everything


Alex

[Consistency]

ahhh, so true

I see your from wal-mart... yet another southern thang lol!

[Jenseno9]

Ive gone to the University of Wisconsin and am going there again in the fall... Those things are not true for big ten schools...
Badgers football and fans are just as crazy as any other college footballs fans. Game day pre parties start between 8-9 on a saturday morning after everyone has been out partying the night before...
Maybe this is one of the many reasons why Madison was rated the 5th best place to live in the US this past year...

[Consistency]

Ive gone to the University of Wisconsin and am going there again in the fall... Those things are not true for big ten schools...
Badgers football and fans are just as crazy as any other college footballs fans. Game day pre parties start between 8-9 on a saturday morning after everyone has been out partying the night before...
Maybe this is one of the many reasons why Madison was rated the 5th best place to live in the US this past year...

blah blah blah.... SEC all the way... if you know anything about football SEC is still the dominant conference!

Go orange and white!

[Jenseno9]

Are you talking about the VOLS?
The bagdgers were deffinetly better. The UW was picked best sports town by ESPN last year or the year before. To bad the VOLS arent even competitive in any other sport besides football...

[hung-solo]

GAME DAY

Up North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.

Down South: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting Game Day "Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots from up North who wonder why Game Day is never broadcast from their campus.



hahah so true i was one of those people waiving to the idiots up north ahahahaha ****ers!!

[BodyMechanic]

Sec is the most competive conference there is, that is why you don't see the same team win it every year like some of those other conferences.

[SplinterCell]

hehe so true, Im from DC/MD but go to college at oklahoma.....football's a great time in MD but in OK it's a religion

[hung-solo]

hehe so true, Im from DC/MD but go to college at oklahoma.....football's a great time in MD but in OK it's a religion

yeah its like that with college basketball here in n.c.

[jc3]

You d*mn hillbillies. Up here in redneck country (Michigan) we love football just as much as any Texan.....

[hung-solo]

You d*mn hillbillies. Up here in redneck country (Michigan) we love football just as much as any Texan.....

you mean wannabe rednecks in michigan? they have a bunch of those in pennsylvania too. oh and upstate n.y. if you guys want to know how to throw it down come down here and stay for a while. JUST MAKE SURE YOU MOVE BACK UP THERE hahahahaha

[jc3]

you mean wannabe rednecks in michigan? they have a bunch of those in pennsylvania too. oh and upstate n.y. if you guys want to know how to throw it down come down here and stay for a while. JUST MAKE SURE YOU MOVE BACK UP THERE hahahahaha

You need to check us out up here...... it's as red as it gets....no wannabe's...

Second thought, keep your inbreedin' ass down there.....

[hung-solo]

You need to check us out up here...... it's as red as it gets....no wannabe's...

Second thought, keep your inbreedin' ass down there.....

as red as it gets? hahahahahaha i laugh at you!! hahahahaha come on now! you guys had to learn it from somewhere. also about the inbred thing, thats an english deal go talk to them about inbreeding kings and queens bro. besides thats about as common now as the latin language now

[Consistency]

Are you talking about the VOLS?
The bagdgers were deffinetly better. The UW was picked best sports town by ESPN last year or the year before. To bad the VOLS arent even competitive in any other sport besides football...

Sports Illustrated said the University of Tennessee was the best campus to be at on Gameday!!! So true!

[LB55blitz]

as red as it gets? hahahahahaha i laugh at you!! hahahahaha come on now! you guys had to learn it from somewhere. also about the inbred thing, thats an english deal go talk to them about inbreeding kings and queens bro. besides thats about as common now as the latin language now

hey now, i have cousins in alabama (redneck country) and i am originally from michigan. these michigan rednecks are no joke. im not from the hick part of MI but i have been out there and they are just as red as bamanians

[jc3]

Go Michigan Rednecks!!!

[3Vandoo]

nothing beat Canadian football

a 50 000 stadium filled with 10 people freazing their ass off at -50 looking at NFL drop out crying "what I did to freeze my ass here, I won the Heisman!"

[caprock82]

Don't forget the BIG XII, we are football

[RUballs0514]

nothin can beat good ole southern football

[J.S.N.]

we are better at everything


Alex

...except finding a spouse that is not a blood relative.

[LB55blitz]

...except finding a spouse that is not a blood relative.

OOOOoohhhh... BURNED!!!

[TommyTrainR]

Northern football for sure!...I wonder why ESPN never comes to my campus ...Maybe because it's the university of pennsylvania..

[TommyTrainR]

...except finding a spouse that is not a blood relative.

OWNED!!!!!!!!

[Consistency]

...except finding a spouse that is not a blood relative.

yeah right... the south is full of southern belles... come to a game and there all dressed up in little skirts and shirts.... GOD i cant wait till FALL!!!!!

[Consistency]

bump

[Pale Horse]

I'm a northerner and I say southern football kicks azz! I wish they would bring back the option, very exciting..

[Slick Arrado]

You d*mn hillbillies. Up here in redneck country (Michigan) we love football just as much as any Texan.....

Good to hear. Football is the best in The South/SouthWest. :spudniklu

[TheNatural3456]

well no one here has been to a football game at WVU that place gets nuts...u had to hear about the couch burning incidents...

[HansVonSchnittchen]

I believe football came from the land of the Buckeyes. Something you southern folk probably no very little about.

[Pinkvelvet]

Whats wrong with Doug Flutie!

He was one of my favorite players back in his CFL days!

[darmadoc]

Are you guys arguing about which state is the most full of rednecks? Is that a good thing? I'm confused.

[JDawg1536]

out here in socal we smash you in the mouth, then send you back to oklahoma crying

[jaytown25]

out here in socal we smash you in the mouth, then send you back to oklahoma crying

Not this year, Texas will beat usc in the rosebowl.

[JDawg1536]

Not this year, Texas will beat usc in the rosebowl.

aint gonna happen