Your Best steroid joke (Here is a Couple)

**oldandgrim** · 07-31-2005, 08:59 AM

Post your best steroid joke and give this board a light side

**oldandgrim** · 07-31-2005, 11:35 AM

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**MilitiaGuy** · 07-31-2005, 12:08 PM

**oldandgrim** · 07-31-2005, 12:51 PM

.................................................. .

**chest6** · 07-31-2005, 03:18 PM

strong as a bear with facial hair..i like that one

**Red Ketchup** · 07-31-2005, 03:35 PM

He he he

**Red Ketchup** · 07-31-2005, 03:41 PM

**kloter1** · 07-31-2005, 09:15 PM

lol drive by posing. needle in a haystack lol.

**chest6** · 08-01-2005, 12:26 AM

needle in the haystack haha

**oldandgrim** · 08-01-2005, 12:29 AM

Nice one Red Ketchup.
Keep them comming

"Been cycling for 8 years"
Love it! LOL

**oldandgrim** · 08-01-2005, 10:10 AM

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**Heracles74** · 08-01-2005, 10:26 AM

Good ones fellas!

**needmorestrength** · 08-01-2005, 10:54 AM

lmao

**oldandgrim** · 08-01-2005, 12:13 PM

ONE FOT THE LADYS

A physically large guy meets a woman at a bar, and after a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place.
As they are making out in the bedroom, ready for the act, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See there, baby? That's 1000 pounds of Dynamite!"
She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging legs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.
Finally, he drops his underpants, and she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to run out the door, and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to leave?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite, and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

**bigdaddy81** · 08-01-2005, 12:44 PM

Thats a good one lol

**symatech** · 08-01-2005, 12:50 PM

why is there male full frontal nudity on this site?

the rest of those are funny though, "drive by posing"

**Red Ketchup** · 08-01-2005, 01:18 PM

oldandgrim, funny joke but why the heck did you post that pic? gawd damm...

Red

**WildCh1ld** · 08-01-2005, 01:27 PM

Thats a little gay bro........

I don't want to see a penis..

**oldandgrim** · 08-02-2005, 04:37 AM

Sorry about the last pic bros, it just went with the joke. Forgot you are all a big bunch of sensitive chaps.

Hers some more for you with out the Pics:

Common Gym expressions

1. Extended Warm-Up - 20 minutes at low tension on the stationary bike then 20 minutes of casual stretching then a shower.

2. "Just One More Rep" - Said to a spotter during a set. Really means: "Lift the weight for me."

3. Hack Squat - The position a cat gets into when he’s coughing up a hairball, commonly mistaken as a leg exercise.

4. "Can I work in with you?" - Translation: "Can I remove all your weights and sweat all over your bench?"

5. Drop Sets - What sometimes happens after doing a hard set of dumbell bench presses. A triple drop set occurs when you drop two dumbells and yourself to the floor.

6. Bulking Up - Name for the phase during which an otherwise healthy trainer will try to get bigger and fatter on purpose.

7. "I’m maxing out" - Translation: "I was going for 6 reps but I put too much weight on the bar and only got 1."

8. Cool-down - Sit on a bench and drink from a water bottle while talking about how much more you’ll lift next time.

9. Olympic Bar - Athlete’s nightclub.

10. E-Z Bar - "How dare you! I’m not that type of bar."

11. "It’s all you!" - Said by spotter during the last few reps of a set. Translatation: "It’s mostly me."

12. Pro-hormones - Hormones that have lost their amateur status.

13. Meal Replacement Supplement - Cold pizza and warm beer.

14. High Intensity Interval Training - Occurs when there are two or more flights of stairs leading up to the gym.

15. Skullcrushers - An exercise where you make like you’re going to bash your own head in with a barbell, a.k.a. lying tricep extensions.

**oldandgrim** · 08-02-2005, 04:44 AM

The Straight Dope On Food & Exercise

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Everything
wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live
longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it
faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables.
As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three
categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and
wine are not animal, and they're not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and
enjoy your liquid vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: At the gym, a guy asked me to "spot" for him while he did the bench
press. What did he mean?
A: "Spotting" for someone means you stand over him while he blows air up
your shorts. It's an accepted practice at health clubs; though if you find
that it becomes the ONLY reason why you're going in, you probably ought to
re-evaluate your exercise program.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?
A: Sorry...Can't think of a single one. My philosophy is: No Pain-No Pain.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should
only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

**oldandgrim** · 08-02-2005, 04:45 AM

Some one else must have some jokes.

I am running out of them

**Squatman51** · 08-02-2005, 06:56 AM

haha some of these are pretty good

**Squatman51** · 08-02-2005, 06:57 AM

i like the needle in the haystack one and the cycling one

**oldandgrim** · 08-04-2005, 09:22 AM

bump

**Dave321** · 08-04-2005, 09:25 AM

quality!!! good stuff!

***Narkissos*** · 08-04-2005, 11:37 PM

NIce stuff Red...

IMO the biggest steroid joke is

Greg Valentino

**needmorestrength** · 08-05-2005, 02:14 AM

LMAO and Oldandgrim

**oldandgrim** · 08-06-2005, 01:57 PM

The male bodybuilder eyed a gorgeous female lifting weights in the gym. He ambled over and said, "Hey babe. What do you say to a little private traing session?" She replied, "What do you have in mind?"

He stared at her crotch and said, "I feel like working on the snatch."

She retorted, "I think you should head for the showers."

"Why?"

She pointed at his crotch and said, "You'll have to settle for the clean and jerk.

**oldandgrim** · 08-06-2005, 02:04 PM

What do you call a bodybuilder with
a big penis?

A Beginner

**oldandgrim** · 08-07-2005, 02:18 AM

bump

***Narkissos*** · 08-07-2005, 01:39 PM

Clean and jerk...

...nice

**RoNNy THe BuLL** · 08-07-2005, 01:43 PM

GIRL: Do you do work out?
MAN: No, I was stung by Bee's in all the right places.

**oldandgrim** · 08-11-2005, 05:52 AM

Q. What do hurricanes and steriods have in common? A. They both make Jamaicans run like heck!

**oldandgrim** · 08-15-2005, 08:59 AM

According to a report on “60 Minutes 2,” three members of the Carolina Panthers are being investigated for illegal steroid use . You know what you call a pro football player who doesn’t take steroids ? An Arena Football player.