Protein farts Game

**tawweiliu** · 09-17-2005, 10:14 AM

Guys sorry I know this is not where I should post this but I was reading this and I could not stop laughing so hard I just want to share this with all of you enjoy!

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Don protein farts suck? I remember when I was watching "saving private ryan" the people three rows in front of us said something and moved. The MetRX did it that time; it was pretty foul. I think drinking a lot of water helps a lot though. Anything else work?
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Well, I was going to go to bed, but I just had to respond to this one... I have no idea what will help reduce the gas(other than some gas-x maybe), but this topic was just too funny to pass up.
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It comes with the territory, but ginger root does wonder for me! cuts down on the potency and less farts.
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LMAO - ok thank GOD its normal!! not exactly feminine to go around farting all the time. the other day i actually buzzed our receptionist. i said DO NOT send anyone back to my office w/ out asking me first - shes lke why?? I had to confess to her. She was LHAO at me. Oh man it sucks!
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Six months ago I started a self defense class. I learned very quick that protein and aerobic activities do not go hand in hand. Nothing like a Met-rx fart in a class of 20
of
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sooooooooo its these bavarian mint met-rx bars that are to blame huH? LOL old fart, now we know where you got your name! KIDDING! hee hee.. lucky for me i do cardio at home on the treadmill so its just me and Matt Lauer & Katie Couric on the tv every morning. LOL
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Lifting legs is the worst time to have protein farts. All that heavy weight makes one come out no matter what and you damn near think that you are going to sh*t your pants.
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I pulled 455 lbs on the Deadlift yesterday, and after I was finished I let out a silent, Muscletech, chunky chocolate chip, protein bar fart, according to my teammates, it didn smell like roses.
Chesta
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Protein farts are fun. What are you guys talking about? What I hate are Ripped Fuel burps. I had my first one a couple days ago and it tasted like I ate a rat with the bubonic plague.
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I have to share this with you guys. I am a football player, one day we were practicing under 85 degree weather. We were in full pads and sweating all over. The place smelled bad enough as it is, but i felt a protein fart coming on. We were doing tackling drills and right as I hit the guy, I let out a silent but deadly fart. It felt really bad since my pants are really tight against my ass. Well, about 15 seconds later, the coach amazingly said, "Lets go run a lap, and then continue the drill." And amazingly, everyone was sprinting away from the spot....
heheheh

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Guys I can top that. Im a college student. A couple weeks ago I hooked up with this cute girl I met at a party. Well, prior to this party I had consumed close to 300 grams of protien. Met-rx protien bars I think. So this girl had the intention of going down on me. Shortly after she started I could feel the gas building up. I had to use all of my will to keep it in! I thought there was gonna be a core meltdown! Anyway, I somehow managed to keep it in and as soon as we finished I ran to the bathroom and let it out. Man it was good! Right up there with my experience with that girl!
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Well, if you had farted at the same time you came you could have told her it was because she was so good. Your whole body wanted to show its appreciation.
Hey, theres always a way to backpeddle
Mine have been so bad Ive made the cat run out of the room shaking her head. Ive also had threats of being made to sleep on the sofa. The problem at work is that some day Im gonna have somebody wondering why Im flailing the mousepad around so much.
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i love protein farts. i use them to punish people. its funny as hell when i walk up to someone, say hello, then run off giggling like a kid knowing what theyre in for!
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FARTING IS COOL
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Seriously though the other day when i was in my bio class the teacher made me leave because i kept on letting out the rankest protein farts. He was like, just get the notes from someone else, just please step outside. lol
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lately; my body has been developing something fierce in the gasous sense during the sleeping hours. when i wake, my stomach is almost "killing" me to the point where i have to let loose or else. any suggestions on how to help this out... without chaning my diet. does the gas-x stuff i hear about work?
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Awe man, yall guys need to stop, I can stop fu**in laughing. . .
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I am letting one ripp right now ....damn thats naaaasty!!
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sometimes my **** smells like a sewer.
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oh man, i recently got that eas protien and gainer, I mix that up for 60 something grams of protein. Man, I take that gas x to work, everywhere. My girlfriend got so mad one time, just like the first post. We were in the movie theater and something started churning in my intestinal region. Let one go. It was one of the bad ones. People all around were not happy.
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I remember I was doing leg presses, and around #5 I let out a very silent, but very very deadly one. I started going really fast so I could finish up the set. My work out partner was like, "dude, you e doing those to fast." I just kept on going, got the hell out of the press, and watched him go in. I thought we was gunna die it was so foul.
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Posted: 2001-11-03 10:15
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I was in the gym last night doing some arms and this chick starts talking to me and followed me from the dumbell rack to the bench press, sure enuff right in the middle of my close grips, I let this wicked bomb go, man that girl was gone so fast that I started laughin on my last couple of reps and nearly dropped the bar on myself

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When I worked at GNC I let a real foul one rip when the place was empty. 10 seconds later a semi-retarded man walks in for his colon cleanse that he called for. When we got to the counter I saw his nose going to work. He asked me if that was the pizza place next door and said I was real lucky if I get to smell that all day. I could barely keep a straight face and just kept nodding. That was funny as hell and stunk REAL bad!
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i was at work the other day, i work at best buy. i was in the managers room by myself doing paperwork, nobody had came by for like an hour so i let a putrid ass bomb out. it was so bad i was about to leave myself. then this cute new girl opened the door to ask a question, she stopped halfway through asking and said oh im sorry, you look busy. she shut the door hella fast and left! i saw her face contort when she inhaled it
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Lets hear more, I can stop fu**in laughin! ! !
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protein farts are cool when you run! frrrip.. frrriiip, frip, frip frippp... frrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiip.
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I have found a new hobby. Get real high and read about your alls protein farts. damm that sh** is funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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new forum rule: your not cool until you post about a protein fart
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mine smell like chicken shiat
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In the beginning of "mouth for war" by Pantera, it sounds like Phil is yelling: RIPPPP ASSSSSSS!!!! instead of REVENGE!!
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you all have no idea how bad im laughin rite now, im drunk, sittin here listenin you all talk about your smelly sh***y farts.......its F***in hilarious, im almost pissin in my pants, hopefull i can make it to the toilt..........bye
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LMFAO!!! That was some funny ****!!!! Im just glad its normal. I was wondering why my blowing ass percent has skyrocketed.
LONG LIVE THE PROTEIN FARTS!!!
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im with superchicken, i use them to punish people. what i always do is ill be talking to someone, and ill be like hold on, then walk away ten, feet and come right back. theyll be like, what was that for? oh nothing... tee hee hee... or just walk into a crowded room, and let em fly. protein farts are our bodies way of getting back at us for torturing it.
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It never fails, like superchicken said... you could be alone for an hour not having to fart, but as soon as you do fart, someone appears. Its like they e psychically drawn to your farting.
Heres something for those of us with sitdown jobs. Ive thought about getting it.

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going to work in a half hour...... i ate alot of eggs for breakfast. teehee when the lines at the front cash registers are long, im gonna do a walk-by-bombing
[ November 04, 2001: Message edited by: superchicken ]
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those disgusting protein farts give me an excuse to leave the room after sex with my g/f.
thanx nitro-tech!!!!!!

**tawweiliu** · 09-17-2005, 10:52 AM

Bump for people to read this is to funny!

**SwoleCat** · 09-17-2005, 10:59 AM

Lounge material, thank you.

~SC~

**punchrf** · 09-17-2005, 11:33 AM

i just dropped a mad stinky on my roommate before i left for work today. i thought he was going to throw up. good old protein. that's what he gets for sleeping on the couch.

BG · 09-17-2005, 11:58 AM

If your farts dont stink, your not getting enough protien!!!!!Stole that from somebody, cant remember who.

**punchrf** · 09-17-2005, 12:03 PM

Originally Posted by BigGuns101

If your farts dont stink, your not getting enough protien!!!!!Stole that from somebody, cant remember who.

mine rediculously stink no matter what.

BG · 09-17-2005, 12:05 PM

Originally Posted by punchrf

mine rediculously stink no matter what.

You got an dirty ass, try dueching it, HAHHAHAHHAHA JK

**punchrf** · 09-17-2005, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by BigGuns101

You got an dirty ass, try dueching it, HAHHAHAHHAHA JK

maybe i should switch to baby wipes after i get done on the pooper. a nice fresh scent that is lickably clean.

**collar** · 09-17-2005, 06:09 PM

LMAO
at this thread.

**MASTER** · 09-17-2005, 07:40 PM

protein farts rule, my friends all think i have some kind of problem coz i literally do a series of farts at least every half and hour or so, more like every 5 or 10 mins when im on a roll!!

**Mealticket** · 09-17-2005, 10:19 PM

My gf was lieing on my lap last night...had a pillow by my groin area and a blanket on top of that...........so i just let er go......you know the kind that are super hot and you can tell they're going to burn the hair out of your nose when you smell it..so anyway.i let a good 3 or 4 long hot ones and no one can smell anything becuase it's essentially corked in my pants vbecause of the pillow and blanket.
!0 minutes later she pickes the pillow up and turns it over and start gaggin @ a failry good audible level...not pretending.and then starts to do the choke-gag cough..it was so peutred she had to switch pillows....... then she pulls the blanket up about 5 minutes later and gerts another 1,2 blow to the olfactory....poor thing.....lmao...it was so fuking funny......

**tawweiliu** · 09-17-2005, 10:40 PM

Thats some funny sh!t!

**dirtyvegas** · 09-18-2005, 06:06 AM

i was at work the other day, i work at best buy. i was in the managers room by myself doing paperwork, nobody had came by for like an hour so i let a putrid ass bomb out. it was so bad i was about to leave myself. then this cute new girl opened the door to ask a question, she stopped halfway through asking and said oh im sorry, you look busy. she shut the door hella fast and left! i saw her face contort when she inhaled it

Guys I can top that. Im a college student. A couple weeks ago I hooked up with this cute girl I met at a party. Well, prior to this party I had consumed close to 300 grams of protien. Met-rx protien bars I think. So this girl had the intention of going down on me. Shortly after she started I could feel the gas building up. I had to use all of my will to keep it in! I thought there was gonna be a core meltdown! Anyway, I somehow managed to keep it in and as soon as we finished I ran to the bathroom and let it out. Man it was good! Right up there with my experience with that girl!

I was in the gym last night doing some arms and this chick starts talking to me and followed me from the dumbell rack to the bench press, sure enuff right in the middle of my close grips, I let this wicked bomb go, man that girl was gone so fast that I started laughin on my last couple of reps and nearly dropped the bar on myself

My gf was lieing on my lap last night...had a pillow by my groin area and a blanket on top of that...........so i just let er go......you know the kind that are super hot and you can tell they're going to burn the hair out of your nose when you smell it..so anyway.i let a good 3 or 4 long hot ones and no one can smell anything becuase it's essentially corked in my pants vbecause of the pillow and blanket.
!0 minutes later she pickes the pillow up and turns it over and start gaggin @ a failry good audible level...not pretending.and then starts to do the choke-gag cough..it was so peutred she had to switch pillows....... then she pulls the blanket up about 5 minutes later and gerts another 1,2 blow to the olfactory....poor thing.....lmao...it was so fuking funny......

my favs

LMFAO

**tawweiliu** · 09-18-2005, 08:23 AM

Dirtyvegas

Oh my god that was bad she must have loved you when she opens that door lol

**ant_8u** · 09-18-2005, 08:55 AM

I let one go whilst at the counter in a supermarket

There was a que of about 10 people

I'd just packet my shopping in the bags

The girl at the checkout told me how much it came to and just as i gave her the money i let one rip

It was one of my best!

I kept a straight face, collected my change, and walked off to the sound of 10 people gagging!

**punchrf** · 09-19-2005, 11:39 AM

my friend use to hold them in when we went to the bar and when we needed a drink he would walk up to the crowded counter where you get the drinks and let it go. you wouldn't believe how fast we would get beers.