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  1. 09-28-2005, 06:49 PM #1
    max2extreme's Avatar
    max2extreme
    max2extreme is offline Anabolic Member
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    funny resume of 75 yr old man

    This is an actual job application that a 75 year old man submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.

    They hired him because he was so funny.....

    NAME: George Martin

    SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

    DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place .

    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

    PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

    PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
    TO 50 lbs?: Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

    DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

    NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
    KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

    ***Old People Rock! ***
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  2. 09-28-2005, 06:53 PM #2
    BG's Avatar
    BG
    BG is offline The Real Deal - AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
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    Good to see when you get old you dont lose your sense of humor along with sex drive , teeth , eye sight and on and on. Funny ass post!!!
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  3. 09-28-2005, 07:33 PM #3
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    needmorestrength
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    lmao thats awsome
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  4. 09-28-2005, 07:45 PM #4
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    LOL........... funny guy
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  5. 09-28-2005, 07:48 PM #5
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    that's freakin hilarious
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  6. 09-28-2005, 07:53 PM #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by max2extreme
    EDUCATION: Yes.
    You know, the whole thing was funny, but for some reason that question had me rolling on the floor!

    Red
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  7. 09-28-2005, 08:35 PM #7
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    haha
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  8. 09-28-2005, 09:58 PM #8
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    is that real?
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  9. 09-29-2005, 02:20 AM #9
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    LMAO...thats great
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  10. 09-29-2005, 02:23 AM #10
    JDawg1536
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    Quote Originally Posted by chest6
    LMAO...thats great
    whore......
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  11. 09-29-2005, 03:29 AM #11
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    Chemical King
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    id like to know what sort of contract that dude negotiated in the end.
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