Your worst ever experience at work!

**Schwarz** · 09-29-2005, 07:14 AM

Just wondering if you guys had any stories about your worst experiences at work?

I'll start. On one crappy summer job I was dared to photocopy my dick using the boses personal photocopier. Her PA who was in on it told me she had gone out to lunch...but you've guessed it she came back for her cell and I got caught! That was a short career in PR....but when the PA saw the photocopy I got her number and we shagged a few times so not so bad in the end...

That reminds me a friend of mine got caught shagging his bosses daughter who was on work experience. They were in the mens toilet and her dad caught them. She was fit and a serious squirter apparently

. He told his boss that if he fired him he'd carry on seeing his daughter and get her up the duff....still working there today (but in a different dept)

.

Jump in and share your stories...

S

**IBdmfkr** · 09-29-2005, 09:39 AM

Office Space "I don't think I'm going to work anymore."

I have too many, wouldn't even know where to start.

**longhorn814** · 09-29-2005, 09:51 AM

getting robbed at gunpoint while working in a tobacco store for the summer kind of sucked!!

**chest6** · 09-29-2005, 09:58 AM

Originally Posted by longhorn814

getting robbed at gunpoint while working in a tobacco store for the summer kind of sucked!!

Ive been meaning to say sorry about that. It was a water gun

**Schwarz** · 09-29-2005, 10:00 AM

lmao

**longhorn814** · 09-29-2005, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by chest6

Ive been meaning to say sorry about that. It was a water gun

thats fine i hope you used the money I gave you to buy some quality crack!

**chest6** · 09-29-2005, 10:22 AM

[QUOTE=longhorn814]thats fine i hope you used the money I gave you to buy some quality crack![/QUOTE
screw crack, I got some serious gear laying around now

**longhorn814** · 09-29-2005, 10:25 AM

[QUOTE=chest6]

Originally Posted by longhorn814

thats fine i hope you used the money I gave you to buy some quality crack![/QUOTE
screw crack, I got some serious gear laying around now

the guy that robbed us only wanted $50, took off and bought some crack and was arrested the next day!

**Red Ketchup** · 09-29-2005, 10:27 AM

"Quality Crack", isn't that an oxymoron?

**Mealticket** · 09-29-2005, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by Red Ketchup

"Quality Crack", isn't that an oxymoron?

**chest6** · 09-29-2005, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by longhorn814

the guy that robbed us only wanted $50, took off and bought some crack and was arrested the next day!

LMAO..what a dumbass. Prolly high on crack when he got arrested. I know when Im doin crack im more subtle about it

**Mesomorphyl** · 09-29-2005, 11:58 AM

If you get a worst you will get a best as well.

The worst was after a surgery I had about 3 months prior, was still on pain meds and was hitting 100mg of tren ed to try and heal up(also eq, var, test)... Some guy made a remark about me gaining weight so fast and followed it up that he wasnt scared of me. I was like WTF? Then I kinda snapped, told him I was going to knock every tooth out of this head. Told him I could do it now if he says one more word or I would follow him to his watering hole after work. He started to shake and tears started rolling(he wasnt like crying crying know what I mean?). I said that is what I thought and I hope all that money you spent on braces(he just got them off, he is about 40 years old) was worth the few days he actually got to smile. Ten minutes later I am in front of the company president asking me why I am threating people, I told him he was disrespectful and making fun of my weight gain and I cannot help my doctors have me on medicine that causes water retention... They did not believe it and I was suspended for 2 weeks paid. I call that worse yet I got a paid vacation, lol.

Best time was when this bitch wanted to suck me and I told her only if it is in a guys office I did not like, so after 5 everyone was walking out and we walked into the guys office she did her thing while I blew a load all over his chair... Funny thing is he never said anything about what was on his chair, lol.

**decadbal** · 09-29-2005, 12:07 PM

ok, here goes mine, i just quit my job, so i dont care now, i worked at the casino in cherokee NC, to understand this you need to understant that maybe 3% of the indians there have jobs, the rest, sit around, get drunk, live in run down trailors and complain about the white man... so i was at work and we were discussing how they mostly dont work, just just live from one check to another, and never care, just complain and the lady who is my boss, heard us, she went off, of course bc shes a dirt worshipper, she called us all racists, simply bc we were being honest bout how sorry they are as workers, and generally ppl in general

**Booz** · 09-29-2005, 12:18 PM

my worst exp at work was when i finally realized i actually HAD to do something!!!!

**Bigen12** · 09-29-2005, 12:21 PM

My worst on the job experience was when Deca and I started a Whore house and it burned up in our faces..……

Unfortunately for us we had started the business before we had hired any girls, so in order to serve our customers Deca was jerking the guys off and I was spitting on them.

Everything was going wonderful, we were raking in the dough. Until one day....

I had been out drinking the night before, and was a little dehydrated, and about the middle of our shift I ran out of spit. I tried and tried to get Deca to stop jerking and before I could get him to stop he had burned up 3 dicks………

**decadbal** · 09-29-2005, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by Bigen12

My worst on the job experience was when Deca and I started a Whore house and it burned up in our faces..……

Unfortunately for us we had started the business before we had hired any girls, so in order to serve our customers Deca was jerking the guys off and I was spitting on them.

Everything was going wonderful, we were raking in the dough. Until one day....

I had been out drinking the night before, and was a little dehydrated, and about the middle of our shift I ran out of spit. I tried and tried to get Deca to stop jerking and before I could get him to stop he had burned up 3 dicks………

lies. all lies. do you ppl see what the white man does...lie.lie lie

**MuckDog** · 09-29-2005, 12:24 PM

Originally Posted by Decadbal

ok, here goes mine, i just quit my job, so i dont care now, i worked at the casino in cherokee NC, to understand this you need to understant that maybe 3% of the indians there have jobs, the rest, sit around, get drunk, live in run down trailors and complain about the white man... so i was at work and we were discussing how they mostly dont work, just just live from one check to another, and never care, just complain and the lady who is my boss, heard us, she went off, of course bc shes a dirt worshipper, she called us all racists, simply bc we were being honest bout how sorry they are as workers, and generally ppl in general

dirt worshipper - LOL

**Booz** · 09-29-2005, 12:32 PM

Originally Posted by Bigen12

My worst on the job experience was when Deca and I started a Whore house and it burned up in our faces..……

Unfortunately for us we had started the business before we had hired any girls, so in order to serve our customers Deca was jerking the guys off and I was spitting on them.

Everything was going wonderful, we were raking in the dough. Until one day....

I had been out drinking the night before, and was a little dehydrated, and about the middle of our shift I ran out of spit. I tried and tried to get Deca to stop jerking and before I could get him to stop he had burned up 3 dicks………

**Anna Bollick** · 09-29-2005, 02:07 PM

My worst experience at work involved a trick who wanted it up the tailpipe, but he had some sort of chronic bowel disorder... I forget what he called it, but similar to IBS or Crohn's or something like that. By the time I realized what a mess was being made, well, a big mess had been made. Girl, I was SOOOOO sick at my stomach! My man-pleaser was securely wrapped in a rubber, but, well, it was SOOOO messy! YUCK! I didn't work for a week after that! I made certain that it was just as unpleasant to him as it was to me, since it was, after all, his fault for not telling me... I slapped him silly, with my hand and then with my befouled gut-snake. I bet he didn't pull THAT little stunt again! I also made him give me an extra $100 for sheets and cleanup. Anal can be nice, but it has the potential to be gross as hell, too, if you are buggering some ignoramus who isn't clean and empty up there. Oh, another really bad day at work was shortly after I started, and I was still somewhat dumb and innocent. Two of the nastiest, filthiest cops you could possibly imagine made me give them BJs. They were not just nasty in mind and spirit, either. GROSS! I was gagging, Girlfriend, and not because they were hung, either! (They weren't hung, by the way... that's probably why they became cops.)

Love
Anna

**Anna Bollick** · 09-29-2005, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by Red Ketchup

"Quality Crack", isn't that an oxymoron?

Darling, MY crack is TOP quality!

Kisses and Tickles
Anna

**punchrf** · 09-29-2005, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by Anna Bollick

My worst experience at work involved a trick who wanted it up the tailpipe, but he had some sort of chronic bowel disorder... I forget what he called it, but similar to IBS or Crohn's or something like that. By the time I realized what a mess was being made, well, a big mess had been made. Girl, I was SOOOOO sick at my stomach! My man-pleaser was securely wrapped in a rubber, but, well, it was SOOOO messy! YUCK! I didn't work for a week after that! I made certain that it was just as unpleasant to him as it was to me, since it was, after all, his fault for not telling me... I slapped him silly, with my hand and then with my befouled gut-snake. I bet he didn't pull THAT little stunt again! I also made him give me an extra $100 for sheets and cleanup. Anal can be nice, but it has the potential to be gross as hell, too, if you are buggering some ignoramus who isn't clean and empty up there. Oh, another really bad day at work was shortly after I started, and I was still somewhat dumb and innocent. Two of the nastiest, filthiest cops you could possibly imagine made me give them BJs. They were not just nasty in mind and spirit, either. GROSS! I was gagging, Girlfriend, and not because they were hung, either! (They weren't hung, by the way... that's probably why they became cops.)

Love
Anna

a bit strange but i can see how those could ruin your day. i know it would ruin mine.

**Red Ketchup** · 09-29-2005, 03:46 PM

Originally Posted by Anna Bollick

Darling, MY crack is TOP quality!

Oh great!

Now you got me shooting prot-shake out of my nose!

That'll teach me to drink while reading this forum...

Red

**ya_man** · 09-29-2005, 04:47 PM

i used to take apples out of boxes and put them on the produce tables

great summer that was

**punchrf** · 09-29-2005, 05:08 PM

Originally Posted by ya_man

i used to take apples out of boxes and put them on the produce tables

great summer that was

that doesn't sound that bad. probably more exciting that any of my normal days. i sit at my desk and go over paperwork and deal with whiney clients.

BG · 09-29-2005, 05:08 PM

Today my helper is so afraid of spiders, so I put this big one on piece of cardboard and chased him. He ran out the house looked back at me a took the sickest header. No landing gear or nothing, funniest shit Ive seen in a while. Not the topic in the thread but fuc it.

**punchrf** · 09-29-2005, 05:15 PM

Originally Posted by BigGuns101

Today my helper is so afraid of spiders, so I put this big one on piece of cardboard and chased him. He ran out the house looked back at me a took the sickest header. No landing gear or nothing, funniest shit Ive seen in a while. Not the topic in the thread but fuc it.

very off topic. but funny. how'd you end up talking about that?

BG · 09-29-2005, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by punchrf

very off topic. but funny. how'd you end up talking about that?

It was so funny I figured Ide post it .

**punchrf** · 09-29-2005, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by BigGuns101

It was so funny I figured Ide post it .

fair enough. i hate spiders too. i saw a big one in the garage this weekend and got the great idea to get my dog to kill it since he likes to play with whatever moves but i didn't think he was going to eat it. just down the hatch. good thing it wasn't a black widow.

BG · 09-29-2005, 05:29 PM

Originally Posted by punchrf

fair enough. i hate spiders too. i saw a big one in the garage this weekend and got the great idea to get my dog to kill it since he likes to play with whatever moves but i didn't think he was going to eat it. just down the hatch. good thing it wasn't a black widow.

If I tell him he has a spider on his back he freaks out, runs around wipping his back, sometimes I dangle something from a string and touch his shoulder he shits his pants, makes the day go by faster .