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Thread: Men strike back

  1. 11-08-2005, 06:21 PM #1
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    Men strike back

    I'm not a chauvinist bit these had me laughing.



    Men strike back! ! ! ! !


    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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    Why do men fart more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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    What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    A woman who won't do what she's told.
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    I married a Miss Right.
    I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    It's called a Wedding Cake.
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    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
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    Women will never be equal to menuntil they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who can handle the truth
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  2. 11-08-2005, 06:36 PM #2
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    that's great. women don't fart as much because the don't shut up long enough to build the required pressure. i'm going to have to remember that.
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  3. 11-08-2005, 07:33 PM #3
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    bump
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  4. 11-08-2005, 08:40 PM #4
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    that wedding cake aint no lie!
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  5. 11-08-2005, 09:20 PM #5
    SnaX
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    lol

    Those are some good ones...
    I know some jokes, and they aren't that nice... So here i go


    What do you tell a woman with two black-eyes?
    Nothing, you already told her twice!

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  6. 11-08-2005, 11:52 PM #6
    SnaX
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    Wow, i feel bad for saying that... no really i do i mean thats not even a funny subject to me..
    yeah im sorry
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  7. 11-08-2005, 11:54 PM #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnaX
    Wow, i feel bad for saying that... no really i do i mean thats not even a funny subject to me..
    yeah im sorry
    you are such a bitch...
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  8. 11-09-2005, 12:23 AM #8
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    What is the first thing a woman does when she leaves the battered wife clinic?
    The dishes if she knows whats good for her!
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  9. 11-09-2005, 02:15 AM #9
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    instant classic
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  10. 11-09-2005, 02:18 AM #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by NewKid
    you are such a bitch...

    LMAO


    funniest thing in this thread
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  11. 11-09-2005, 02:27 AM #11
    SnaX
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    funnier than your gay chuck norris fan club avitar! ya homo! lol

    jk
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  12. 11-09-2005, 07:41 AM #12
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    my thoughts..

    "If your gonna tell me what to do.. u better know how to make me do it"

    A real man will

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  13. 11-09-2005, 07:50 AM #13
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    Thats nice. Now go do the dishes!
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  14. 11-09-2005, 07:52 AM #14
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    Read above
    Quote Originally Posted by roidattack
    Thats nice. Now go do the dishes!
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  15. 11-09-2005, 07:54 AM #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mizfit
    Read above

    I meant now take your shirt off. (did i say that out loud )
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  16. 11-09-2005, 09:38 AM #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by roidattack
    Thats nice. Now go do the dishes!
    LMAO. Better watch out with those boots she's wearing!
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  17. 11-09-2005, 09:47 AM #17
    SnaX
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    look like high-heel ice skated to me.

    And when you tell her to do this dishes, you gotta raise your pimp hand! heh
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  18. 11-09-2005, 09:51 AM #18
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    that stuff is funny but THIS >> http://www.gotlaughs.com/humor/mansong2.swf is real life

    Oldman
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  19. 11-09-2005, 10:24 AM #19
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    lmao good post
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  20. 11-09-2005, 10:38 AM #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by jerseyboy
    LMAO. Better watch out with those boots she's wearing!

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  21. 11-09-2005, 12:20 PM #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by jerseyboy
    LMAO. Better watch out with those boots she's wearing!

    Watch out for them?? I hope like heck she IS wearing them. Oh don't forget the whip again.


    Oldman
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  22. 11-09-2005, 12:22 PM #22
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    hahahaha
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