Your stance on MARRIAGE

[Polska]

State your stance on marriage and the reasoning behind your stance.

My stance is that it's an absolutely ridiculous custom imposed by society and social standards. So why do I think marriage is ridiculous? There are so many reasons that if I listed them all this thread would span ten pages.

A good place to visit is nomarriage.com, no matter what your stance on the subject this site provides some good reading.

My MAIN REASON for marriage being a crock (aside from all the proof I've seen/heard/read about):

The main difference between us and mammals in the wild is behavioral; we behave differently because we are self aware, have intelligence, etc. we are the result of countless years of human ecology. Mammals in the wild are NOT monogomous by nature. If monogamy does occur it is usually facultative; where the species population is small and so spaced out that only certain males and females are available for mating. If exclusive mating does occur in a species with a high volume and dense population, its duration is always FINITE. Animals will go off and mate with other animals after a certain period has elapsed. so how are we different?

Human ecology has imprinted society and social standards/customs into our heads, but biochemically we are not designed to be married. Our survival and replication mechanism exists from birth to death. Males are meant to replicate with as many females as possible to ensure their survival in the gene pool. Read the book Sperm Wars by Robin Baker. The content in this book is backed by scientific evidence and is incredible; it will change the way you look at women and relationships. There is a reason (scientifically) why things are the way they are. Talk to any long-term married man who is not whipped by his wife and will tell you the truth.

[decadbal]

i think ppl forget that we are basically the same as dogs, or any other mammal, being monogomus isnt something we are suppose to do... fundamentally we are suppose to procreate upon desire... i am for marriage i guess, or against it... i dont know or care.. either wya

[NYGIANTS21]

I'm for marriage but trust is a bitc*.....

[Abenaki Blood]

I think that it's a pointless debate and each person has their right to marry or not to marry. Who are we to say that marriage is stupid or marriage is the way to go? Only one person can judge us...

[Polska]

I think that it's a pointless debate and each person has their right to marry or not to marry. Who are we to say that marriage is stupid or marriage is the way to go? Only one person can judge us...

You're right - there is no right and wrong, really. I was just wondering how many people are for marriage on the board. I feel like I am in the minority of people that feel this way

[decadbal]

I think that it's a pointless debate and each person has their right to marry or not to marry. Who are we to say that marriage is stupid or marriage is the way to go? Only one person can judge us...

lol if your a christian, then our judge isnt a person...lol

[Polska]

I'm for marriage but trust is a bitc*.....

It is a bitch, isn't it? Did you know that women that have been married for five years or longer are easier to pick up (at a bar/club) than single women? Scary.

[Polska]

lol if your a christian, then our judge isnt a person...lol

Hahahahahaha, I totally missed that.

[steve0]

i think when people get married they should sign a contract for either 1,3,or 5 years and when the time comes up, they can decided weather or not they still want to be married....if so then they resign if not then they leave in peace, it will be a mutual agreement..

[Abenaki Blood]

It's funny to see that pre-arranged marriages have a higher success rate than that of a "free-will" marriage. Problem with most people is that they marry out of lust rather than marrying out of love.

[Wrath]

"Don't get married unless you are absolutely religiously in love with her. Like carry her sick aged body to the toilet and wipe her ass and be happy to do it kind of love."

That was a funyn ass quote from teh website lol. I dunno...I'd liek to believe in marriage...cause thats what I believe is best for raising kids, but the world is like baskin robbins...and im only on flavor #10...21 more to go.

But honestly I wonder if society has just done a good job of driving that into my head too....that within the confines of marriage is the best way to birth and rasie kids. It's like big cycle.

[AnabolicBoy1981]

marriage is dumb. only 50 percent work. we are animals, and our urges and insticts make us want diffent mates to ensure the survival of the species.
If we choose to go against nature, somethiing is bound to happen. people will start to resent each other. n

the only problem is, how do we ensure the surviaval of the species? Have illigitimate kids all over the place, with their little illigitimate issues? I dont know. Maybe we should just stop reproducing, and when the aliens see that we have turned intoa scoiety of massive contraception, they will start breeding us and reproducing with us, while finally making thier presence known.

i dunno

[Abenaki Blood]

Nothing wrong with fewer reproductions! At one point, the Earth's population was expanding at a dangerous rate, luckily it has topped off and is actually showing a semi-declining rate.

[GQ-Bouncer]

LOL i like his points about foriegn women hahah

I agree with him on those things

[24labor]

I dont think it really makes a diffrence except fot legal matters and fitting in I mean if this is the girl I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with I'm gonna do it weather I have a ring that says so or not.

[Mike Dura]

I don't think it's a "sacred institution." I think it's the golden cup that upon coming into one's grasp turns to ashes. In fact, I'm kind of turned on by flirting with these jaded women - the older one's who just want young love or younger woman in their twenties with two or more todlers. You show me the latter I'll show you one depressed young woman who's just looking to escape her responsibilities, emptyness and ahedonia. She wants escape: Hedosism and passion is what she longs for. It starts with an insinuating glance. In luring them to stray the misanthrope exposes the lie they've bought into: the American myth - she sold out to the lifestyle that can only be afforded by overworking such that quality time with significant others is subordinated to being a good consumer who owns an environmentally unfriendly SUV and two winey kids that want the latest game station and American Jingoism at the local Kawanis club. J/K No, I think it would be nice to share my life with a sweet girl (if she's polite)!

[Gra]

It's funny to see that pre-arranged marriages have a higher success rate than that of a "free-will" marriage.

Why do you think this is so?

[NotSmall]

It's funny to see that pre-arranged marriages have a higher success rate than that of a "free-will" marriage. Problem with most people is that they marry out of lust rather than marrying out of love.

Why do you think this is so?

Most likely because in the societies that employ pre-arranged marriages divorce is not an easily available option.

And as for most people marrying out of lust rather than love, well if the couple get married after ony knowing each other for a matter of weeks or months then this might be the case but if the couple has been together for a matter of years then why would lust cause them to marry at that stage?

[Abenaki Blood]

I used to date a girl from India and I was so against pre-arranged marriages until they told me why they have them and why they work along with the statistical numbers. They work on making the marriage work because they don't have a "get out of jail for free card" aka divorce.

As for lust, that is the case with many younger married couples. Some people marry for lust, some in fear of spending their lives alone, some out of love, some because it's the "right thing to do", some from family pressure.. the list goes on.

[NotSmall]

I used to date a girl from India and I was so against pre-arranged marriages until they told me why they have them and why they work along with the statistical numbers. They work on making the marriage work because they don't have a "get out of jail for free card" aka divorce.

EXACTLY! The marriages don't last because they are successful/happy, they last because there's no way out - sounds great!

As for lust, that is the case with many younger married couples. Some people marry for lust, some in fear of spending their lives alone, some out of love, some because it's the "right thing to do", some from family pressure.. the list goes on.

Agreed, so you are retracting your previous statement that most marry out of lust?

[Abenaki Blood]

There is a way out, her father actually did get a divorce... I think you are missing the point. This country uses divorce like it uses abortion. We don't put OUR effort into making marriages work like other pre-arranged marriages.

As for lust, I def. think with a 50% divorce rate, lust fits into those stats very nicely. Friends my age... already divorced. I think I'm safe to say that the lust era was over so there wasn't much left to work with...

[NotSmall]

There is a way out, her father actually did get a divorce...

Ahh, so he did have a get out of jail free card.

I think you are missing the point. This country uses divorce like it uses abortion. We don't put OUR effort into making marriages work like other pre-arranged marriages.

Sorry but you are never, ever going to convince me that anyone other than myself should decide who I marry.
In England there was recently a case where two brothers (quite young, in their teens if I remember correctly) stabbed a young man over 30 times (to death obviously) under the orders of their father because their sister and this young man were in love, only it was not the young man that she had been arranged to get married to.

As for lust, I def. think with a 50% divorce rate, lust fits into those stats very nicely. Friends my age... already divorced. I think I'm safe to say that the lust era was over so there wasn't much left to work with...

Sure alot of young people get married out of lust but I still don't believe that "most" people do.

[Gra]

Most likely because in the societies that employ pre-arranged marriages divorce is not an easily available option.

That would be my guess aswell. A divorce is not accepted,

[SwoleCat]

No getting married means not extending your family and keeping your family tree alive and growing.

What about when you are 80 years old, shitting in a diaper, have numerous needs, etc. However, all of your friends are dead or cannot move to come over themselves, your parents are long gone, no family members around, etc.

Wouldn't it be comforting to have a wife and/or some children to help out, to be around, to bring happy/lasting memories to you during your final years on earth?

Too many guys think "PUSSY NOW" and don't think about long-term when busting a nut is about as possible as winning an ass kicking contest with one leg.

~SC~

[cb25]

words of wisdom. believe what you want...and i don't try to romanticize marriage like some people do. but it's something i'll be happy to do when the time is right. i don't think it's something that's easy...you have to want to work at it...just like someone mentioned about arranged marriages who work at it...

i think the point someone made about getting married for the wrong reasons was dead on...too many people do it for the wrong reasons. and some people do it b/c they think they know what they want...truth is they don't even know who they themselves are yet.

No getting married means not extending your family and keeping your family tree alive and growing.

What about when you are 80 years old, shitting in a diaper, have numerous needs, etc. However, all of your friends are dead or cannot move to come over themselves, your parents are long gone, no family members around, etc.

Wouldn't it be comforting to have a wife and/or some children to help out, to be around, to bring happy/lasting memories to you during your final years on earth?

Too many guys think "PUSSY NOW" and don't think about long-term when busting a nut is about as possible as winning an ass kicking contest with one leg.

~SC~

[Hard Head]

No getting married means not extending your family and keeping your family tree alive and growing.

What about when you are 80 years old, shitting in a diaper, have numerous needs, etc. However, all of your friends are dead or cannot move to come over themselves, your parents are long gone, no family members around, etc.

Wouldn't it be comforting to have a wife and/or some children to help out, to be around, to bring happy/lasting memories to you during your final years on earth?

Too many guys think "PUSSY NOW" and don't think about long-term when busting a nut is about as possible as winning an ass kicking contest with one leg.

~SC~

Yes, marriage is the responsible and really the only way that people should reproduce. If you have no desire to extend your family tree, don't get married before you are 50. If you are insecure and need to cling, well then find someone who will care for you like your mother did. If I was 80 and was unable to care for myself, I would prefer that someone push me off the highest building rather than extend what is surely a miserable existance.

[SwoleCat]

Even if you could care for yourself, many elderly people find themselves depressed and down because they are ALONE.

Being ALONE was my point, not too many people think that far. It's not like when you are 60-70-80, you are going to be out clubbing lookin' at nice asses.

At 60-70-80, there is no such thing as a nice ass.

~SC~

[LAW]

I was married for 30 years. A life time. Personally I would never ever get married again. I don't want someone controlling my life ever again. I don't want to have someone to answer to nor do I want them to answer to me. Im free & intend to stay that way. Im in a loving relationship and my b/f has wanted to marry me since we were 3 months into our relationship. Now 4 years bf/gf, that's just the way I want to keep it.

[SwoleCat]

The key is to find someone who does not CONTROL your life, but rather supports it and have his/her coincide w/your life.

~SC~

[Evil Predator]

The key is to find someone who does not CONTROL your life, but rather supports it and have his/her coincide w/your life.

~SC~

Exactly..

My girl is laid back and easy to get along with, im the same. Were not jealous, we dont tell each other what to do, we get along fine.

We do expect certain things of each other, which is normal in any relationship, but neither of us has a problem bringing up our problems to talk about.

I definately want to get married. But I want to marry my best friend, not a gate keeper. Its amazing the bullshit some people will put up with in their personal lives. Being controlled and supressed isnt a relationship, its a problem.

[Polska]

I was married for 30 years. A life time. Personally I would never ever get married again. I don't want someone controlling my life ever again. I don't want to have someone to answer to nor do I want them to answer to me. Im free & intend to stay that way. Im in a loving relationship and my b/f has wanted to marry me since we were 3 months into our relationship. Now 4 years bf/gf, that's just the way I want to keep it.

Exactly. I am not against long-term relationships. Just marriage.

[Polska]

Exactly..

My girl is laid back and easy to get along with, im the same. Were not jealous, we dont tell each other what to do, we get along fine.

Yes, but you aren't married yet.

[Animal Cracker]

Marriage in NO way benifits a man, except in the rare cases of marrying an independently wealthy gal.

[SwoleCat]

Marriage in NO way benifits a man

In your opinion of course.

Because millions absolutely adore being able to have a son who is a "little you".
You have no idea how great it feels to be a father. I have a 7 year old son, and we do shit together all the time and I seriously don't know what I'd do w/out him as my friend and extension of me to live on after I am gone.

Some just don't have that discipline. (not you, other men in general)

I won't even address the financial statement, that's so cliche.

~SC~

[Mizfit]

I won't get married just for the sake of getting married.. just like i wont have kids just for the sake of having them.. if i meet the right person than i will do both, but if neither happens than i am content the way i am.

society sets standard that we feel we should adhere too..marriage is one of these

I'm not against either though.. just won't do it for the sake of doin it

[Mike Dura]

I really resent guys who dominate woman. That's one thing I'd never get away with with my ex girlfriend. I used to act domineering to get a rise out of her and
she's never have it. I love her strength and independence. I think if you really love you love the person's independence. You have to respect a significant other's individuality and seperateness. By the way, is that pic in the avatar you? You look great!

I was married for 30 years. A life time. Personally I would never ever get married again. I don't want someone controlling my life ever again. I don't want to have someone to answer to nor do I want them to answer to me. Im free & intend to stay that way. Im in a loving relationship and my b/f has wanted to marry me since we were 3 months into our relationship. Now 4 years bf/gf, that's just the way I want to keep it.

[Hard Head]

Even if you could care for yourself, many elderly people find themselves depressed and down because they are ALONE.

Being ALONE was my point, not too many people think that far. It's not like when you are 60-70-80, you are going to be out clubbing lookin' at nice asses.

At 60-70-80, there is no such thing as a nice ass.

~SC~

I agree with all of your comments here. The last one, now that's some funny shit right there.

[helium3]

i like when old people say,there never used to be divorces in my day,and they would be right but a single divorced mother would be un-heard of, she would be ridiculed and frowned upon by the masses,just think what people had to put with,trapped somewhere they didnt want to be.as for arranged marriage goes fxxk that sxxt right off,some poeple you will never see eye to eye with male or female i cant imagine being stuck in that position for the rest of my life.as far as marriage goes i got married in vegas(i live in uk)didnt want all the stress,attention and money that goes with a huge wedding i loved it and still am loving it,the weird thing is im an atheist,shit is that hypacritical?
casual relationships serve their purpose but i feel theres nothing like having someone to share your experiences and life with married or not!

[decadbal]

old ppl were uptight... thats why they didnt get divorced... they cared what ppl thought... as mentioned about arranged marriages , they work bc the women have no say so... indian woman are a lilttle above dogs prolly in the eyes of men, so they do what they are told... i dont see that as a positive thing.. marriage is what you make it, if your not willing to share, allow someone else to help with your decisions, support theirs and be faithful, then dont get married.. if you are, then it will prolly work out, most ppl arnt.. its a flash in the pan feeling they follow then realize they werent ready

[Evil Predator]

Divorce has become a convenience. Even for people who really love each other. Its an easier solution than de****g with your problems I guess. If theres one thing ive noticed about people in general, its that they always want to take the lazy way out for the most part.

Not saying I think divorce is never warranted. I dont think any woman should put up with any kind of abuse, and I dont think any man should put up with any unreasonable bullshit either. But for the most part, if they werent such lazy assholes, the divorce rate wouldnt be what it is.