Girl problems...wtf...

[cdtt]

So I'm busy with work this entire week, busting 15 hour days straight and this is my first day off. It's also my 2 year anniversary with my girl.

So she comes over and she's on my computer and finds Porn downloaded. For real, I never downloaded anything because to her, it's cheating. Fine, I can live without it.

But when I tell her I didn't download it she ****in' bolts from my crib and tells me I'm a liar?! I'm dead honest when I say I never downloaded anything off of my computer.

I've been running adware, trojan and virus checks non-stop while sleeping (the little that I got) and she still doesn't believe me.

So she's gone now and is like, "Call me when you're ready to 'fess up". Wtf, seriously bro's, I never did it but she refuses to believe me.

At this point my life/career, I've worked too hard to get to where I am and all the negative stuff in my life has been cleared up (and there's been a lot the last couple years). The only negative energy I have is from her, so I'm not really upset that she left...atleast not yet.

WTF would you guys/girls do in this situation.

[BARLOW]

tell her one of ur friends came over and did it as a joke

[HORSE~]

Go down load some porn for real jerk of and go to bed.

[Mike_Huck]

Whats the big deal, its just porn its not like she found you with a dildo or something.

[Growingpains]

If she gets this upset over photos how the hell is she going to act when you make the bed wrong. Or leave the toilet seat up....

If she ain't the one. I would drop her...

Good luck,

We've all been there...haha

[Natty99]

Yeah dude, doesn't sound like she's a keeper man. Too much Bull $hit !

[cdtt]

I thought she was a keeper, but more and more she's getting no my nerves. And small shit like this, really, it pisses me off. I'm in the real world, she's in some fantasy make believe land where everything's perfect.

Either way, I have been debating the relationship over the last little while...

Maybe this was meant to happen. I just have bad luck with the 2 year mark. This is the third chick who I've been broken up with on our 2 year anniversary in a row....the exact date, my relationships have failed...

What can you do.

[Growingpains]

It seems like your leaning towards the older more mature women without all the Bull S**t. What do you think?

Does she have an older sister? Haha. Just kidding.

GP

[Pooks]

WATCHED SOME BILL COSBY show one time...
and the way he did it..
is u just say..

"U were right, I was wrong" Don't go into any details..

"U're right, I am wrong" kiss n make up

[cdtt]

I just don't need bullshit in my life, period. I've been through way too much and have overcome too much to be pushed back down by my girl, honestly.

And the worst part is she's been there with me through all of it and has seen it first hand, yet she still brings this bullshit to me.

That's my only issue with her.

[SwoleCat]

It's a sign, a very early sign.

Recognize that sign, and simply move forth. That much mis-trust/insecurity can do nothing positive for you into your future.

~SC~

[Growingpains]

Ya bro. I feel ya. You got to surround yourself with good vibrations ya know?


GP

[Liftnainez]

i feel u with the girl issue bro.. if she doesnt believe u and thinks its that big of a deal then.........

[cdtt]

Now any advice on how to break it down to her? She's so emotional it's not even funny.

[Pooks]

BREAKING It down = WASTE OF EVERYONES TIME.. it will just turn into a screamfast.

U either say "I was wrong, u were right" or u ignore her and end the relationship, waiting for her to make a move, maybe she apologizes..

basically TIME is on your side bro, not her's .. by breaking it down, u squander it IMO

[cdtt]

Good advice Pooks. I'm just gonna wait it out. This weekend is gonna just be chill time for me, back to 15 hour work weeks as of Monday...

Anyone who has a full time career knows how hectic your job can get when you love it, just sucks to have all your negative energy come from your home life you know.

[C_Bino]

Not to make things worse but if you dont dl porn how the hell did it get on your comp? If it was a friend kick his ass, but still I agree with the other guys in saying that she probably isnt worth it if she is losing it over some f*ckin porn. If that was my girl I was just tell her to relax, its porn goddamnit. I mean seriously if she is gonna get bent out of shape about porn she has too much time on her hands and has some serious issues that shouldnt be your problem.

[G-1000]

It's a sign, a very early sign.

Recognize that sign, and simply move forth. That much mis-trust/insecurity can do nothing positive for you into your future.

~SC~

Well said

[zimmy]

i dunno why so many girls take porn so personally...I've had friends have HUGE problems with that...think it all goes down to low self asteem...


all that aside... 2 things...1) if she doesn't trust you after 2 years...f her... move on... no trust...no love
2) if she just left like that...she's either got a huge ego when it comes to being right / wrong, of which is probably just drama that you don't want (that's a given since that's like 99% of women ) or she was unhappy and looking for an excuse to call it

[firmechicano831]

Zimmy is 100% right. Imagine if she knew you were in this steroid forum. She would ****en kill you as well. Don't call her and let her call you, when she calls and asks why; just say that you told her the truth and that if she doesn't believe you then she could walk her own way.

[Kale]

Dump the bitch she is trouble, take it from some one who is a hell of a lot older and wiser than you !!!

[AnabolicAndre]

want me to fight her for you??

[Timm1704]

Zimmy is 100% right. Imagine if she knew you were in this steroid forum. She would ****en kill you as well. Don't call her and let her call you, when she calls and asks why; just say that you told her the truth and that if she doesn't believe you then she could walk her own way.

thats a great idea, she will see her arse right away, and either apologise, or get so mad shel hang up, and then come crawling back another time. i hate it when women pull this kind of shit, i love to teach them a lesson

[spencer]

I never downloaded anything because to her, it's cheating..

lmfao

[Oki-Des]

The problem is that you are dating someone who does not beleive your word. It does not matter what the situation is surrounding the main issue. This will cause you so many problems in the future. Trust is the only thing that can keep a relationship together. Without it, you are just going to end up angry, which you seem to be.

I know this would be hard to do, but if I were you I would tell her that you cant be with someone who thinks you are a lyer. Let her know you understand that she does not want you to look at computer porn. Tell her all you can do is not look at it. If she does not beleive you, there isnt anything you can do anyway, right? At least she will know that you are serious about your position.

Someone said to tell her your freind was looking at your computer. I wouldnt say that, as you would be looking for an excuse. When someone acuses us of doing something we actually did, we get apologetic or make up quick excuses. When people acuse you of doing something you did not do, people get mad!

Do not let her think you were lying by trying to get out of it. If you did not do it, then you should be upset you are in a relationship where your partner does not trust you. This anger should fuel your rage throughout the argument. Dont give in because she is attractive. That is not the point. You will never be happy with someone if they do not trust you.

I know you probably just want it over, but the longer you wait, the more she has to consider that you are standing your ground.

I know it will be hard, but she has made it clear she does not want you looking at porn. She is willing to fight and maybe break up over it right? Then you have to be able to argue and risk breaking up over your important issues. Hopefully you have not been caught cheating on her before or caught in any major lies. If not, I would argue trust in as important to you as it is to her. Let her know that you understand her feelings about the incident because it relates to her trust. But if she does not beleive you, she is giving you the same bad feelings she feels you are giving her and you do not want to be with someone like that. Good luck

[SwoleCat]

Now any advice on how to break it down to her? She's so emotional it's not even funny.

We know she is emotional, that much is obvious.
As far as breaking it to her, just tell her you're fed up with the
juvenile kiddie bullshit and have no time for negative energy.

You are your own boss, who gives a shit how she takes the news.

~SC~

[45acp]

Years ago when my wife and i were dating, she found a tape of mine and freaked out. Fast foward to "been married for 5 years" and now she wants to watch porn with me all the time. Go figure.

Chicks freaking out over porn is a strong sign of insecurity. The fact that she doesnt believe you, well that could be looked at 2 ways-

1- She has major trust issues with you. Either she doesnt trust you because she has self esteem issues or she doesnt trust you because she herself feels guilty about something.

2- Cmon man, you're a guy. Guys have porn. We have tons of porn, or a little porn, but it is well known we all have porn. Even though you didnt "have" the porn, well its hard to explain that the porn wasnt yours when its assumed by 100% of the free world that all guys will have porn.


Dont call her, let her call you. When she calms down tell her the truth, be very blunt about everything. She will either get over it or she wont.

[Cdup]

I agree with horse up there. go download some porn, jerk off, and go to bed. Then she's got all the right in the world to be pissed. On the other hand, let her be, that is some seriously stoopid sh&$ and a very good sign about the type of probs. that may arise in the future. and 45acp, that is good advice as well.

[LAW]

i dunno why so many girls take porn so personally...I've had friends have HUGE problems with that...think it all goes down to low self asteem...


all that aside... 2 things...1) if she doesn't trust you after 2 years...f her... move on... no trust...no love
2) if she just left like that...she's either got a huge ego when it comes to being right / wrong, of which is probably just drama that you don't want (that's a given since that's like 99% of women ) or she was unhappy and looking for an excuse to call it

I totally agree. I personally don't think porn is cheating and she sounds pretty hard headed about silly things. I think she should apollogize to you for 1. not believeing you
2. being stupid about porn

[~fuelforfire~]

she sounds kinda ****ed, lol and hey get a buddy to say it was him, or you could try and turn it on her lol, you know how good that always works

[cfiler]

Make something up like "I had a friend over, he must have done it."
Or "It's from the new Cathy virus, which downloads porn and spyware."
Or "Yes, it's mine. I'm sorry, it will never happen again."

[Temptation]

By her being this upset shows you that she cares about you. Insecurity plays a huge roll in this too... she may think you're looking at this porn and when it's time to do the dirty you'll be fantasizing (sp) over them and not you. It may have NOTHING to do with her... it's her inner battle but -- if you're DL'ing porn... be decent enough to be open with her. Some women like it, some women don't and it's not something that can be changed.

Men are visually driven, women are more psychological, spiritual. We're different... it may be perfectly normal to put porn and men in the same sentence for a guy, some women can't handle that.

Did you buy your computer used? I did through a college student and my cookies were FILLED with porn sites.

[steve0]

leave her nothing but headaches if she thinks porn is cheating she cannot be a fun gorl, find one that like to whatch sopme porn with you !!

[~fuelforfire~]

By her being this upset shows you that she cares about you. Insecurity plays a huge roll in this too... she may think you're looking at this porn and when it's time to do the dirty you'll be fantasizing (sp) over them and not you. It may have NOTHING to do with her... it's her inner battle but -- if you're DL'ing porn... be decent enough to be open with her. Some women like it, some women don't and it's not something that can be changed.

Men are visually driven, women are more psychological, spiritual. We're different... it may be perfectly normal to put porn and men in the same sentence for a guy, some women can't handle that.

Did you buy your computer used? I did through a college student and my cookies were FILLED with porn sites.

i love that last line haha

[45acp]

Some women like it, some women don't and it's not something that can be changed.

Sorry, but it can be changed. My wife got into porn without any coaxing from me whatsoever. When she wasnt into porn, she thought it was horrible and wrong and cheating and all that. You guys are women. Women change their mind.

[Temptation]

A woman who has given a fair chance to enjoy porn and still doesn't never will... that's what I was trying to say. There are levels to porn as well... there's certain porn I'd watch -- porn that degrates women making them cry and be in terrible pain I'd turn off in a second. But alot of online porn falls along the lines of a lonely girl in a bedroom with a webcam and a dildo (or some obscenely large vegetable)... something where a guy could actually have some sort of connection with the porn vs. just watching a video -- big difference.

[mds]

She probably downloaded it herself