Falling for a deceptive allure and finding desert sand

**Mike Dura** · 08-23-2006, 12:47 PM

You ever take the leap of faith towards something seemingly promising, exciting and so full of vitality only to find it "null, void, and wanting like a desert mirrage? That kind of let down is so disappointing and you're left to your own resources to re-calibrate yourself with the reality.

That seems to be happening to me right now in a personal relationship. Being utterly unhappy in one, I leaped to another throwing all caution to the wind (knowing I was throwing all caution to the wind) and this second relationship seems to be shallowing out as reality rears it's inevitable head. The reality I sense is that this love interest says what's immediately convenient (my myoptic puruvian peacekeeper) to keep the peace. Convenient lip service is not honesty so such a person can't be trusted and what's a relationship without that? Dead in the water. Must re-define (sex partner for the next couple of months).

Beautiful illusion broken. Unfullfilled desires and broken hope are dragging me back into the earth in the estrogenic, post cycle blues within my post AAS biochemistry. My only saving grace is the hope of a better tommorow and that solid center of me that is based on a vision, or a "bodybuilding agenda" and the love of that lifestyle in general and the bottle of lexipro in my dresser draw. The hope of a kick ass off season and an increasingly clarity to particular goals is redeeming in the face of disapointment. I think one must always recognize the reality of hope and the choice one can make to be hopeful. So here's to hope!

**hardgainer12** · 08-23-2006, 01:27 PM

hey bro good luck. u seem to b posting a lot about post cycle depression. u ok?

**goodcents** · 08-23-2006, 01:55 PM

Need to get laid and get back on a cycle. Things that keep me happy:
1. money
2. money
3. sex

If you have 1&2 everything else is good

Hell the only time I'm down is when I'm broke (been down alot lately

)

**Mike Dura** · 08-24-2006, 09:19 AM

Yeah, I'll be ok. I'm just trying to suck it up - this post cycle depression thing. It's a mind bender but I'm sure many on this board goes through the same thing without wining about it like I do.

Originally Posted by hardgainer12

hey bro good luck. u seem to b posting a lot about post cycle depression. u ok?

**Mizfit** · 08-24-2006, 09:40 AM

figure out whats negative in your life and make some changes

**D3m3nt3d** · 08-24-2006, 09:53 AM

Post Cycle never seemed to affect me really...and I had a hard time reading what you were saying other than you bounced into another relationship?

**Mike Dura** · 08-24-2006, 01:04 PM

What I was saying.....Due to post cycle, I was feeling unstable and depressed in general and this impacted my thinking. In one relationship of 14 years - I felt that we were both unhappy and so I said, "lets take a break" but I think it's a permanent break up. In the other relationship - she's sweet, peruvian, beautiful, she's really cool but I don't trust her and I doubt the sincerity of some of the things she says. In other words, I think she's high on "lip service" and so I needed to back up and redefine the relationship. This is a disappointment but at least we have a great physical relationship and a strong friendship. The other thing is that my perception may be a little skewed because I'm feeling low due to this hormonal imbalance. This will pass but some of my decision making during this depressed state may have some permanent consequences. Tis is life right. One has to have a certain set of skills to manage the mood swings and I would venture to say that I need to improve upon those skills.

Originally Posted by D3m3nt3d

Post Cycle never seemed to affect me really...and I had a hard time reading what you were saying other than you bounced into another relationship?

**cj1capp** · 08-24-2006, 01:05 PM

hope you get beter it sucks to be down

**Mike Dura** · 08-24-2006, 01:11 PM

Thanks. It does but I know it will get better. I'm just going to lay low and focus on breathing and the twilight ocean beach stroll which has that soothing affect. When you're down you have to take action against it or you just sink further.

Originally Posted by cj1capp

hope you get beter it sucks to be down

**goodcents** · 08-24-2006, 01:19 PM

Let me get this strait, you're off the juice and you don't trust the new woman? Why not not just get back on the gear and be happy you're hitting a hot chic. ( I would personally not have called off the first one and just banged both of them) fuk if it means juicing to get rid of this shlt, do it.

**steve0** · 08-24-2006, 02:16 PM

Originally Posted by goodcents

Need to get laid and get back on a cycle. Things that keep me happy:
1. money
2. money
3. sex

If you have 1&2 everything else is good

Hell the only time I'm down is when I'm broke (been down alot lately

)

i heard that, but i just bought a 5,000 quad, so im happy, go spoil your self Dura you only live once bro, shit man im a happy ass dude if all my bills are paid and my training is good , and i gotta little money in the bank, and i can go rideing on Saturday, thats all i need

**D3m3nt3d** · 08-25-2006, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by Mike Dura

What I was saying.....Due to post cycle, I was feeling unstable and depressed in general and this impacted my thinking. In one relationship of 14 years - I felt that we were both unhappy and so I said, "lets take a break" but I think it's a permanent break up. In the other relationship - she's sweet, peruvian, beautiful, she's really cool but I don't trust her and I doubt the sincerity of some of the things she says. In other words, I think she's high on "lip service" and so I needed to back up and redefine the relationship. This is a disappointment but at least we have a great physical relationship and a strong friendship. The other thing is that my perception may be a little skewed because I'm feeling low due to this hormonal imbalance. This will pass but some of my decision making during this depressed state may have some permanent consequences. Tis is life right. One has to have a certain set of skills to manage the mood swings and I would venture to say that I need to improve upon those skills.

I completely understood you this time. Well, I hope you made the right decisions bro, and wish you the best of luck. Everything will unfold as it should.

**ginkobulloba** · 08-25-2006, 11:09 AM

Originally Posted by goodcents

Need to get laid and get back on a cycle. Things that keep me happy:
1. money
2. money
3. sex

If you have 1&2 everything else is good

Hell the only time I'm down is when I'm broke (been down alot lately

)

Dude, that's about it, aint it? I'm down about $25k in the last 3 weeks due to some investments that went south quickly, but you don't lose unless you sell.