This shyts getting out of hand.

**Bojangles69** · 09-10-2006, 02:29 PM

This is sort of a thread about recreational drugs. But it serves a purpose, so i ask if the mods could please leave it.

A lot of people dont know about my past, and I know most people are judgement robots but when I was 17-19 I had a serious problem with extacy and meth. *SERIOUS* So bad i started manufacturing it and it got busted when I was 19. The 7 year sentence was more than enough to straighten my ass out.
I was a regular middle class white boy from a populated area in the burbs.
Had hopes dreams and aspirations like everyone else.

BUt the point here is if I didnt get busted, theres was a high chance the next time i od'ed it would have been terminal.

So my life forked immensely. I dropped my "bad" group of friends. Who I continued see every once and a while just to make sure they were alright. 2 of them have since died to drugs.

Yesterday morning my bro called and gave me the news that a good friend od'ed in his sleep. And i didnt know how to react. This was like strike 3 for me. I had flashbacks of wrestling with him on the mats in highschool, partying with him in college, even working the same 2 jobs together.

But I always had to keep a certain distance from him, because I always had this 'feeling'.

One thing that stuck out was how SMART this guy was, how FUNNY he was, college graduate with 2 degrees. SOOO much potential. I KNEW no I HOPED he was flying straight for good. The last thing youd ever expect meeting this guy was that he had a problem with drugs. Sharp as a whistle.

Well i thought about when i was hooked, how many of even my "good" friends were AFRAID to say ANYTHING to me about it. They were afraid of the confrontation. Because believe it or not, some people can manage a more than functional life and be getting high 15 times a day. Some people can't.

And I thought when I got out of prison. I was reborn. And if I ever saw someone struggling with this shit again, i wouldnt sit them down and talk about it. Id beat the shit out of them, scream at them, yell at them, because thats what I always needed when I was going through it. But people are masters at sweeping shit under the carpet.

Some people dont want to deal with it. But when you look a life long friend in the eyes as he lays in his coffin with a half a pack of marboro reds. When you see his little brother and his parents enfuriated with anger, crying thier brains out, you WISH you had said ANYTHING. You wished you didnt act so aloof about it.

So I propose to the the readers of this thread. Sympathy is not the function of this message. I can handle it, but what I cant handle is people being afraid to get involved in other peoples lives. Even if they reject it, who knows if deep down they were really screaming for help. All I ask is if you know anyone like this, dont shift the responsibility into the hands of thier immediate family, because truth is, they're only in deeper denial than you.

I guess this is part of life, you grow up, you learn through trial and error. But this was a complete waste of SOO much potential. Thats what makes me sick.
The wife he could have loved, the children he could have raised, the life he could have led, all thrown away. For an extra line of w/e.

I know its easy to distance yourself. But SOMEONE has to be strong. SOMEONE has to intervene, because if life fails to intervene, death will.

~Bo

tried to leave him a RIP message but its set on approval.
for curiousity sake heres his profile.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm...iendid=1239813

R.I.P brotha

**audis4** · 09-10-2006, 02:40 PM

wow bro, sorry to hear that! Thank goodness for that jail sentence or you would probly be close to, if not in the same situation!

One of my good friends is a big ex/pot/alcoholic/whatever else he does and the kids only 19. The kids parents are college professors and certainly is no dummy. Sad to see people waste their lives away.

**Bojangles69** · 09-10-2006, 02:42 PM

Originally Posted by audis4

wow bro, sorry to hear that! Thank goodness for that jail sentence or you would probly be close to, if not in the same situation!

One of my good friends is a big ex/pot/alcoholic/whatever else he does and the kids only 19. The kids parents are college professors and certainly is no dummy. Sad to see people waste their lives away.

yeh thats what i dont get, some of them arent that bright no doubt, but it seems like the ones i personally know who have died were some of the smartest most charisamatic people ive known, makes absolutely no sense sometimes.

**Mizfit** · 09-10-2006, 03:20 PM

A real eye opener.

I used to go out a bit myself - a few yrs ago i had a bad new yrs - where someone went a bit nuts on me and i stopped going out - 2 months later my really good friend od - she seisured and couldnt walk. - took her years to rehabiliate and there r still things she can't do.

Everything hun happens for a reason

**Bojangles69** · 09-10-2006, 03:25 PM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

A real eye opener.

I used to go out a bit myself - a few yrs ago i had a bad new yrs - where someone went a bit nuts on me and i stopped going out - 2 months later my really good friend od - she seisured and couldnt walk. - took her years to rehabiliate and there r still things she can't do.

Everything hun happens for a reason

thats exactly what i keep trying to tell myself. thanks.

**guest589745** · 09-10-2006, 03:32 PM

I understand where you are coming from and I agree with your outlook on this shit completely. Let him rest and be at peace.

**Bojangles69** · 09-10-2006, 03:35 PM

for anyone who has lost a loved one or good friend..

The butterfly emerges
from its silken shell-

Reborn, it arises
no longer bound to earth

Free at last, the butterfly glides
to heights unknown before.

So do our loved ones find
a beautiful release

As, earthbound no more,
they leave our sight and joyfully rise
to a garden of matchless beauty
a place of light and peace.

Evelyn Philips

**Flagg** · 09-10-2006, 03:43 PM

Mizfit is 100% right, everything in this life happens for a reason. And when bad things happen and you fall down, you can either stay there or pick yourself up cause more times than not, noone else will.

I like that Bo, that poem by Evelyn Philips.

**lucabratzi** · 09-10-2006, 03:44 PM

im sorry to hear about this...but i know what u mean about people sweepin it under the carpet..my boy was on the road to killin himself from oc's...he od'd twice and the second time was when he was closest to diein...no one would say shit to him...i wanted to but im in fla for 9-10 months out of the year and he was in ny..after the second time he od'd he got clean and he is still sober...drugs make u a completly dif person cause this guy is like a brother to me, and when he was on he was an asshole that didnt do shit but get ****ed up..

**Flagg** · 09-10-2006, 04:45 PM

Has anyone ever heard the "Friend of a Friend" song by Foo Fighters??

If you haven't you should..im listening to it now and it reminds me of what this thread is about.

***G-1000*** · 09-10-2006, 04:57 PM

It will stay open as long as the thread does not turn to the worse.

***G-1000*** · 09-10-2006, 05:01 PM

Hey bro i feel for you buddy.

But it's good to see you got your life on track.

**Teabagger** · 09-10-2006, 05:02 PM

It doesn't get alot worse...loosing people. My condolances. I like your philosophy and agree...make it your business...put your ass out there a little bit for someone else...but I propose everyone take it one big step further....no longer tolerate dealers...peroid. Snitch those worthless scumbag off, drop a dime on'em...

You wanna rage against something...rage against those cocksuckers...they are killing people everyday. Rage on them....take'em down. You wanna stand up and do something for your brother or sister...snitch those cancers off. Make it your business...declare war on the tolerance of "recreational" drug use...there is no such thing...

Now I've gotten myself all spun up...maybe I'll go the the southside and fvck up some "bidness" dealings now...........

**big L 17** · 09-10-2006, 05:26 PM

i have been there to down the path of drugs and it takes a lot to get past that its horrible to see the kids you grew up with droppen out of high school to do drugs and they try to bring you down,i got caught up in that i had to move to a nother city to help me get away from and it i have been clean for a month and half now, taken one day at a time,things will get better rip for your freind

**Bojangles69** · 09-10-2006, 07:57 PM

thanks everyone who responded. and big L 17 im not kidding when i say this, if you go back into that shit I will reach through the computer and smack you in the face, because thats what i would expect you to do for me.
and teabagger, i feel your anger, it makes it that much easier to know this shit really bothers other people.
thanks to the mods/vets for keeping this open.

**big L 17** · 09-10-2006, 08:28 PM

bojangles69 i wont thank u and ill do the same for you,

**MAXIMA5** · 09-11-2006, 06:00 AM

You're not the only one who partied too much at one point.
I stopped myself and never looked back. Found that working out and spending time with my fiancee made me feel better than exstacy or other narcotics.
My friend had to do 5 years to realize this, and now he's a new man.

Some people aren;t as lucky, and it's a shame that if death stops them first, that people remember them by their addiction, and not who they really were.

RIP.

**Mizfit** · 09-11-2006, 06:15 AM

There are a lot of ppl who get drawn and sucked it.

Not just people society deems as low lifes either. It's a sad state of affairs. We have palces that honest - you feel like a movie star and for some that kinda draw is too enticing.

And in some cases it all or nothing - when i decided to stop going out - i cut all my friends from that portion of my life out for quite some time. totally disappeared. And when i ventured out just to see how everyone was - something that really struck me was the fact i had changed so much and they had remined exactly the same - even though a few years had gone by.

**1819** · 09-11-2006, 07:01 AM

very sad to hear about your friend bo but very happy to hear that you have the right attitude. you made a mistake, learned from it, and its sounds like you became a much better person.

**D3m3nt3d** · 09-11-2006, 07:06 AM

Sorry to hear that Bojangles...I've lost several friends myself, not to drugs, but just in general - including my best friend.

The pain is undescribable, and you seem to have alot of regrets when it's too late.

**T3/T4 GSR** · 09-11-2006, 10:27 AM

Originally Posted by Teabagger

It doesn't get alot worse...loosing people. My condolances. I like your philosophy and agree...make it your business...put your ass out there a little bit for someone else...but I propose everyone take it one big step further....no longer tolerate dealers...peroid. Snitch those worthless scumbag off, drop a dime on'em...

You wanna rage against something...rage against those cocksuckers...they are killing people everyday. Rage on them....take'em down. You wanna stand up and do something for your brother or sister...snitch those cancers off. Make it your business...declare war on the tolerance of "recreational" drug use...there is no such thing...

Now I've gotten myself all spun up...maybe I'll go the the southside and fvck up some "bidness" dealings now...........

Let me ask you something though. As much as I feel bad for the guys loss why do you say snitch the dealers? How do you feel knowing there are people trying to snitch on UGLs now? You can't blame the dealers for people problems.

**1819** · 09-11-2006, 10:43 AM

Originally Posted by T3/T4 GSR

Let me ask you something though. As much as I feel bad for the guys loss why do you say snitch the dealers? How do you feel knowing there are people trying to snitch on UGLs now? You can't blame the dealers for people problems.

t3, i gotta agree with you on this. the reality of this is that drugs have and always will be here. people say education,blah, blah, blah. nothing will ever curb the problem. in this country our first instinct has become to blame everything on someone else. same thing with drunk driving. its never, ever gonna stop. some people will get caught and learn a lesson, some will die. thats just the way it is. if some people can learn from bo's experience, that would be great. notice he didnt put blame on anyone but himself. he did his time, learned his lesson, and is trying to help others. for that he should be commended.

**STYLE74** · 09-11-2006, 11:09 AM

Hey bojan sorry to hear the bad news about your bro

**Bojangles69** · 09-11-2006, 11:51 AM

Yeh the whole "to snitch or not to snitch" topic is a neverending fiasco of not what side of the law you stand on but HOW exactly if will AFFECT you in your own situation.
Example.
I was snitched on. At first I wanted to kill the snitch (still do) but at the same time I keep wondering what would have happened to me if he didnt.
If my brother, mother, sister, etc was on drugs id snitch (if i couldnt resolve the problem myself).
If it was someone I didnt know personally who didnt affect me directly I wouldnt. But if i have emotions invested in that person, and realize they cant help themselves, Ill gladly help by snitching.
Problem with my snitch is he was doing it to help himself (get out his own charge)
In prison i see what happens to snitches, it doesnt just happen on tv, its real and its not pretty to say the least.
When it comes to snitching on UGL that depends on the situation.
If thier known to be fvcking around with thier poduct, not practicing proper sterilization techniques or w/e than they certaintly may need to be exposed.
However if its a reputable business, and they have a good reputation and arent selling to 14 yr olds and than someone trys to snitch on them because thier stupid asses fumbled up and got tagged by the police, they'll also be tagged as a snitch, and that label follows them like a bright neon "ill stab you in the back" sign.
needless to say, MOST of them get whats coming to them.
I know mine did, just not by me.
The word snitch itself is such a relative and personal word. It has a negative connotation because people like to believe they're above the law and they can handle problems without help of the law enforcement, this obviously isnt true, therefore the act of snitching does serve a function.
Of course the family members of the one you snitched on will hate you. Which is the whole problem with snitching. ITs ALWAYS a win/loose situation by nature. It cant be any other way. The best solution is to not even get involved in a situation where you can come out the looser. Just dont play the game period.
Thanks to everyone else who responded.

**mavsluva** · 09-11-2006, 12:13 PM

A very courageous post, Bojangles. Personal experiences are far more powerful than myths, and this proves it. Thanks for sharing.

**Teabagger** · 09-11-2006, 02:30 PM

Originally Posted by T3/T4 GSR

Let me ask you something though. As much as I feel bad for the guys loss why do you say snitch the dealers? How do you feel knowing there are people trying to snitch on UGLs now? You can't blame the dealers for people problems.

You truly have to be shitting...right?? I'm all for personal responsibility, and accepting the consequences of your actions...or inactions. But when you arrive at a time when you are responsible for others...say children...your attitude hopefully will change. Granted if there was no demand...there would be no problem...but there is demand, so you have to try and cut out the source or make it difficult for the source to deal his death. AAS are drugs which have a benefit in the medical community and to health in general when used intelligently. There is no good use for meth, x, crack, coke, heroin, etc..., and the dealer knows this when he convinces a young, albeit stupid, young person to "just try it"...its all good...nothin' but a thing...

Like I said...I believe in personal responsibility, but I also believe we have to look out for our brothers as well....

In before the lock

**AnabolicAndre** · 09-11-2006, 02:42 PM

Sorry for your loss man.

It takes experiences of hell to make us realize what we are and how thin the thread of life is.

For me this read makes me realize how I need to put everything I got into my life, and push and drive for my endeavors so much harder than I do right now.

**Bojangles69** · 09-11-2006, 04:05 PM

Originally Posted by Teabagger

You truly have to be shitting...right?? I'm all for personal responsibility, and accepting the consequences of your actions...or inactions. But when you arrive at a time when you are responsible for others...say children...your attitude hopefully will change. Granted if there was no demand...there would be no problem...but there is demand, so you have to try and cut out the source or make it difficult for the source to deal his death. AAS are drugs which have a benefit in the medical community and to health in general when used intelligently. There is no good use for meth, x, crack, coke, heroin, etc..., and the dealer knows this when he convinces a young, albeit stupid, young person to "just try it"...its all good...nothin' but a thing...

Like I said...I believe in personal responsibility, but I also believe we have to look out for our brothers as well....

In before the lock

that sums it up very well .

and NOT to start a debate here, there IS a HUGE difference between a meth dealer and a roid dealer imo.

**Bojangles69** · 09-11-2006, 04:08 PM

and thanks again for everyone else who offered support when i said it didnt need it, because you know enough to realize theres no such thing as enough support in a situation like this.

**SMAN12b** · 09-11-2006, 04:15 PM

Sorry for your lose Bo, but WE are very glad you are here and on a better path!!

**T3/T4 GSR** · 09-11-2006, 04:53 PM

There is a huge difference but my point is if someone gets pulled over with gear and they rat out a UGL to stay out of trouble they are just as big of a shit bag as if they ratted out their coke dealer. A rat is a rat and they are all peices of human dirt. I only used UGLs as an example so it is something that for most people here will hit home so you can see how a rat can affect you too.

**Teabagger** · 09-11-2006, 05:22 PM

So your deal is a snitch is a scumbag no matter what? OK. You know your neighbor molests or beats, or otherwise abuses his child...you're not gonna "snitch" him off?

You have a pretty good idea who on your floor in the dorm is stealing peoples shit...you're not gonna "snitch" on him??

You happen to know a guy that is selling child pornography...you're not gonna "snitch".

Even with your instance of someone getting pinched with aas in their car...they're looking at years in prison if they don't give up their source....you expect this guy to do time to protect his source?? This is not La Cosa Nostra, the Black Hand, etc...The source knows the risk he's taking, and is reaping quite a reward for taking that risk. It may sound all noble and street tough to say you'd go down before revealing your source, but I'd bet in reality there are few, if any, aas users on here that would destroy their life, marriage, career, and family to protect someone he did "business" with and helped make very rich.

**T3/T4 GSR** · 09-11-2006, 06:24 PM

i am talking about a snitch in the context we are talking about here. People who get caught with drugs and then turn in the dealers. Regardless....years in prison for minor drug possesion? Give me a break here. You would have to be making or selling a drug to end up with years in jail.

**Teabagger** · 09-11-2006, 07:04 PM

Need to search the threads for the new laws on aas...it is more punitive to have one bottle of test, than a kilo of cocaine. Thanks to the baseball dicks, and spotlight grabbing politicians, possession of an amount of aas that we know is only for personal use, is considered by law to be enough to charge possession with intent to distribute. It sucks, but it is true.

**T3/T4 GSR** · 09-11-2006, 07:22 PM

I'll beleive these sentances when I see someone actually get sentanced. Even if you are charged with intent to distribute they have to prove you were intending to distribute. I think you can easily show in court where a single person would need 30+ML of AAS.

**Anabolios** · 09-11-2006, 07:33 PM

Damn Bo it looks like we have a bit in common. Not as a drug habit myself (big props to you for beating that) rather close family members with drug issues that affect EVERYONE they touch. Some people hit rock bottom and never quit. Some do. Some end up back in jail time after time. It's such a touchy subject because drug abuse isn't something that you associate a normal middle class family with...when in reality this is mostly where it's happening. It happened for years under my nose when I was little without me knowing. My point is that I agree with you 100%. Intervention is the best thing for your conscience because if something awful does happen you will not live with the burden that you didn't try. PM me if you wanna hear the story BO. It's very in depth. Sorry for your loss....time is the best healer of pain.

**lucabratzi** · 09-11-2006, 08:03 PM

u know whats shitty...goin down that trail of pills...knowin what its goin to do and u keep doin it...most will say its pure stupidity but whatever...shit sucks...

**stayinstacked** · 09-11-2006, 08:31 PM

I began to hang out with a guy in the past who was a big time powerlifter. He was hooked on Nubain pretty bad, he injected it numerous times daily like he had to have it. I came staright out and told him "look bro, I'm not down with that stuff, sorry we cant hang out" He later told me that it really hit home and I was right. I dont know if he ever got off it, I hope so. The best thing I can say to anybody is if you have friends like this, lose them. I'm sorry if it seems blunt, but people like this only bring others into thier world of irresponsible bullshit.