weirdest places you fell asleep at

[Red Ketchup]

I once fell asleep in a tree while hunting for deer.

That happens to me EVERY year!

Thats why I wear a harnest and safety line when I am in my tree stand. There are a LOT of accidents from hunters who fall asleep and fall out of their stand.

Red

[Bojangles69]

hmm once i fell asleep behind the wheel driving to school. i blasted the side of a minivan and totaled both of our cars. happened because i took adivan the day before and didnt realize it causes blackouts. it was also after prom weekend and i was up for 2 nights straight doin things i shouldnt.

next weird place i fell asleep was the car i got after the first one i fell asleep in. first one was a suzuki sidekick, next one was a toyota corolla.
i was driving home on the parkway doin about 70mph (just drank about 14 beers but i felt fine, obviously wasnt) i dont know what happend i just remember waking up and there were sparks flying down the side of my car and inside my windshield.

so i slowed down and did about 35 the rest of the way (on the parkway this is) parked my car at a friends house and walked home. wake up the next morning hungover (completely oblivious to what happened the night before)

i dont see my fvcking car.
what the fvck happened to my car!!!!

so this is by far one of thee most embarassing things that i ever said to my mom before. "mom i think someone stole my car.."

she replies:
"you stupid bastard, when you stumbled through the door last night and i asked how you got home you said you walked from Rich's (like a block away)"

Im like wow i have to quit drinking for real for real

Call up Rich "Yo dude you seen my car?"
"yeh you idiot its in front of my house, what the **** did you do to it?"
I was so confused till i had this flash of sparks in my head and remembered waht happened.

This is the funny part:
I go to pick it up and im like **** if my parents see this they will know without a doubt i was drinking and driving last night (and my mom saw the condition i was in so id be fvcked)
So i drive home and back the car into the driveway so the leftside faces the nieghbors house hoping they wouldnt see that the whole left side was burned black, dented, no mirror, and broken headlight.

My plan was to park like that for 7 days and coming home from the gym that next week id act like i got into an accident but it wasnt my fault.

And it worked, i said a mini van swerved out of his lane and i ran into the divided trying to avoid them. They were actually happy because i didnt have to report it to the insurance company.

WOW. I still cant believe some of the shit i use to do back in the day. I was a fvcking idiot.

[stunner5000pt]

i was watching some porn one night and i was yanking me chain *wink* *wink* and suddenly i felt very tired and i dozed off

about 15 minutes later i woke up and i was like.. why is my dick in my hnad? and how did this movie start?

thankfully my parents were not home to catch me in this 'compromising' position