A little bit about me

[dedic8ed1]

When I was 18 I started selling illegal substances on a serious level as I got older it became more of a lifestyle that I enjoyed,who wouldn't love being the man right somebody wants something you got it and they love you for it.So from 18 to 24 I lived on the misery of others taking there money to provide them with a brief sanctuary from there everyday grind."Life is fukin good"I would say to myself but as time went on I realized that I really didn't have a fukin thing,yeah I had a pocket full of money all the time but that still wasn't enough,I treated alot of people like they didn't matter and I thought I was better than everybody cause money came easy and money is what makes this fuked up world go round.

Around the time I was 22 I started using (LIFEKILLERS)Painkillers on a serious level and with my new rockstar euphoria chased with the bar life dragging home horizontal refreshment at will nothing was gonna stop me.At 22 a pocket full of money my phone ringing off the hook selling jobs for a new concrete company I started I really thought I made it.It took one bad decision on a job I sold and a plethera of substance to fuk it all up,I lost about 7500 on a job that totaled 16000 and that was all it took to really fuk my mind up completly.As a result of this failure nothing existed but misery and sadness I didn't like what I saw in the mirror anymore so I just wouldn't get up in the morning,sometimes I 'd just lay in bed for 24 hours straight replaying all my faults in my mind over and over and over,and after about a week of that the only thing that temporarly absolved my soul of this self loathing mind set was"Define Irony"the same thing that put money in my pocket is what I turned to in order to function in a constructive copacity.
Not a day went by after that I wasn't on painkillers to eliminate this melancholy meltdown,roughly about a year and a half,and that's all the time it took for me to piss everybody off that didn't care how bad I fuked up and just wanted me to move on get over my mistakes.After a couple mornings waking up with vomit on my face I knew the lights were gonna go out if I didn't stop this shit,so for 30 which felt like a eternity I didn't sleep I layed in bed sometimes sleeping for a couple of minutes at a time here and there but you don't even relize it cause when kicking (lifekillers)in the begining of it there's time when your body convulses so hard you feel like your gonna break your own back your not even thinking about sleep your thinking I'm a loser how the **** did this happen.So I made it through hell I was able to work again,so with the smell of sulfer still lurking in the air from hell what did I do I started taken xanax like a straight fukin asshole I guess I didn't learn.A couple weeks go by I worked up a tolerance of 20 blues at once sometimes twice a day.

I got through that shit too but nothing straightend me out like sleeping in the woods for about 7-8days and then finally ending up in the most dangerous city's county jail "Camden County New Jersey"the murder capitol of the country for 16 days that was fun,gave me a tremendous amount of time to reflect on my life and what I accomplished from 18 to 25,7 day lock down will give anyone the oppurtunity to figure out how they fuked up(7 days only out for 1 hour a day)nothing like a 8by12 that only holds 2 but your in there with 4 other guys that thought they knew more than the last guy who thought he could make a life out of selling drugs.I got out on 1-6-05 moved in with my bro and found new vigor in sobriety and training.

Some of you have heard me talk about this killer job oppurtunity I got that could change my life in a major way like 80,000 a year major way after 5 years
and I'll know if I passed the test for a interview on monday.I've dedicated myself to training and preserverance on a serious level hence the "Dedic8ed1".I wanna thank my brothers Gabe and John,you guys no John as Pumpd4life,for giving me a second chance at being your brother again after being such a piece of shit for alot of years my two brothers never gave up on me and I'll never give up on acheiving more to be a better brother a better father and a straight up success in this world.

Death is certain life is not

[big L 17]

dude thats a crazy story i am glad u have changed and u are what u are today but u reliezd u have a better life

[Kale]

Awsome post man. It obviously took great courage to get yourself back on track. Most would have gone down the shit shute big time by now but you havnt. I hope the job interview goes well for you dude, but even if it doesnt think about wht you have gotten back. You obviously have a strong mind. Use it well !!!!!

[pumpd4lif]

let me start with saying i love u from the bottom of my heart man u make me so proud in every aspect of the word.ive seen u at a low that would kill most people.but u perservered thru it like a true champion and i know u will acomplish everything u put ur mind to .so enjoy the rest of ur life for there will be nothing but good for u in the future.as i always stated u do the right thing the right things happen.keep up the good work (and u ever right some shit like that again and almost make me cry i will hunt u down and pee all over u

i am always here for u bro

[pumpd4lif]

bump just cause it's good

[FranKieC]

WOW

What a great post! Go do your thing brother the sky is the limit

[1buffsob]

Mad props brother. We all have a past, and sometimes we're not proud of it. But I give you credit and respect for admiting yours. I wish you all the best.

[FranKieC]

Mad props brother. We all have a past, all the best.

True that!

[1buffsob]

True that!

How'd you mess up my quote that bad?

[auslifta]

this life challenge, no matter how bad, has made you a stronger,determined person. i have a huge amount of respect for you,as you decided to better yourself and not let it beat you.
huge amount of courage to share your story.
all the best for future

[dedic8ed1]

BUMP
For those who missed my ironical dimise and ressurection back to life
Thanks to all who commented

[STYLE74]

BUMP Glad to hear everything is going good for you man!!

[dedic8ed1]

Thank you brother

[Foskamink]

thanks for shareing and posting i could have easily went down that path when i was 17.. im not going to get into my story cause ur struggle and hardship was 1000 times worse and im glad u made it through and kept ur head up when at ur time 99.99% of the people in ur position would have put there heads down further.. u will be successfull in any thing u dedicate urself to.. and that story put tears into me.. damn i been teary all week.. cried more in 3 days that i did in my whole life

[Hackamaniac]

Great story
I am glad you turned your life around
I have went through some similar situations
It's not easy but your definitely on the correct path

[Deluge1]

Originally posted by pump4lif:

except the painKILLERS they ownd him.maybe he wont be such a stuck up pussy anymore, weak minded people suck

Thought you wouldn't care if something like that happened to someone you knew?

Whose contradicting themselves now?

Funny how that works....

When I was 18 I started selling illegal substances on a serious level as I got older it became more of a lifestyle that I enjoyed,who wouldn't love being the man right somebody wants something you got it and they love you for it.So from 18 to 24 I lived on the misery of others taking there money to provide them with a brief sanctuary from there everyday grind."Life is fukin good"I would say to myself but as time went on I realized that I really didn't have a fukin thing,yeah I had a pocket full of money all the time but that still wasn't enough,I treated alot of people like they didn't matter and I thought I was better than everybody cause money came easy and money is what makes this fuked up world go round.

Around the time I was 22 I started using (LIFEKILLERS)Painkillers on a serious level and with my new rockstar euphoria chased with the bar life dragging home horizontal refreshment at will nothing was gonna stop me.At 22 a pocket full of money my phone ringing off the hook selling jobs for a new concrete company I started I really thought I made it.It took one bad decision on a job I sold and a plethera of substance to fuk it all up,I lost about 7500 on a job that totaled 16000 and that was all it took to really fuk my mind up completly.As a result of this failure nothing existed but misery and sadness I didn't like what I saw in the mirror anymore so I just wouldn't get up in the morning,sometimes I 'd just lay in bed for 24 hours straight replaying all my faults in my mind over and over and over,and after about a week of that the only thing that temporarly absolved my soul of this self loathing mind set was"Define Irony"the same thing that put money in my pocket is what I turned to in order to function in a constructive copacity.
Not a day went by after that I wasn't on painkillers to eliminate this melancholy meltdown,roughly about a year and a half,and that's all the time it took for me to piss everybody off that didn't care how bad I fuked up and just wanted me to move on get over my mistakes.After a couple mornings waking up with vomit on my face I knew the lights were gonna go out if I didn't stop this shit,so for 30 which felt like a eternity I didn't sleep I layed in bed sometimes sleeping for a couple of minutes at a time here and there but you don't even relize it cause when kicking (lifekillers)in the begining of it there's time when your body convulses so hard you feel like your gonna break your own back your not even thinking about sleep your thinking I'm a loser how the **** did this happen.So I made it through hell I was able to work again,so with the smell of sulfer still lurking in the air from hell what did I do I started taken xanax like a straight fukin asshole I guess I didn't learn.A couple weeks go by I worked up a tolerance of 20 blues at once sometimes twice a day.

I got through that shit too but nothing straightend me out like sleeping in the woods for about 7-8days and then finally ending up in the most dangerous city's county jail "Camden County New Jersey"the murder capitol of the country for 16 days that was fun,gave me a tremendous amount of time to reflect on my life and what I accomplished from 18 to 25,7 day lock down will give anyone the oppurtunity to figure out how they fuked up(7 days only out for 1 hour a day)nothing like a 8by12 that only holds 2 but your in there with 4 other guys that thought they knew more than the last guy who thought he could make a life out of selling drugs.I got out on 1-6-05 moved in with my bro and found new vigor in sobriety and training.

Some of you have heard me talk about this killer job oppurtunity I got that could change my life in a major way like 80,000 a year major way after 5 years
and I'll know if I passed the test for a interview on monday.I've dedicated myself to training and preserverance on a serious level hence the "Dedic8ed1".I wanna thank my brothers Gabe and John,you guys no John as Pumpd4life,for giving me a second chance at being your brother again after being such a piece of shit for alot of years my two brothers never gave up on me and I'll never give up on acheiving more to be a better brother a better father and a straight up success in this world.

Death is certain life is not

You're an inspiration man. Congratulations on your new found success.

[Hackamaniac]

No need to start stuff bro..Pumpd4life is a good dude...Just because you don't have the same opinion....There is no need to follow him to another thread and post this..

[pumpd4lif]

Originally posted by pump4lif:



Thought you wouldn't care if something like that happened to someone you knew?

Whose contradicting themselves now?

Funny how that works....





You're an inspiration man. Congratulations on your new found success.

again u took what i sad outa context i did not feel sry for dedicated one for the chooses he had mad were stupid and un called for and i told him that i dont feel sry for him for what he went thru it is called tough luv my freind.i am just glad he was mature enough to relize what myself and evrybody else who told him so said was right.and as he will tell u i told him i didnt feel sry for him .again I DONT FEEL SRY FOR ADULTS THAT MAKE BAD DECISIONS.and u can stop trying to make me look bad cause once again u r wrong

[pumpd4lif]

No need to start stuff bro..Pumpd4life is a good dude...Just because you don't have the same opinion....There is no need to follow him to another thread and post this..

he has been wrong on more then one ocasion.and ever since i pointed it out to him he has been acting like a meathead but i gues some people cant help it when there wrong like he has been more often then none from what i have seen.
lol what a DORK
and all i could hope for from dedicated being he is my brother is that maybe he wont be so ****ing stupid like he was in the past cause u dont get no sympathy
from me for being stupid as he will tell u .being my brother (by blood)if anybody knows it is me.so go bark up another tree ur bothering me

[dedic8ed1]

Why would somebody start some negative shit on a thread that consists of my on personal ressurection.Oh you must be one of those guys who don't understand what it's like to start from the bottom,what's wrong with you man you must be one of those guys that just loves to shit on people.Terrible way to go through man I ain't mad at ya people like me don't get mad I pray for ignorant people like you.

[dedic8ed1]

Hey man opinions right pumpd there's always one hammer head

[dedic8ed1]

Check your PM pupmd4life

[pumpd4lif]

Check your PM pupmd4life

i did bro an i can train tommorow anything but chest

and this guy has got a hardon for me but he keeps making false claims.i think he is wants me to be wrong but it is so hard being rite u know
oh dedicated1 this all started on the T.O thread no biggie see u tommorow bro im out.

[THE_DOME]

hey dedicat8ed glad to here about your resurection, i was just wondering how your results were on that test?

[305GUY]

wow reading that was kinda freaky man.. it hit real close to home on so many levels its CRAZY!!!!!!!

[dedic8ed1]

hey dedicat8ed glad to here about your resurection, i was just wondering how your results were on that test?

I thought I did pretty goo but I'll know if I scored high enough to get the intraview this week,it should've been the mail by the 25th but I;m sure it'll be here before friday and thanks for asking.

[V_Vandetta]

I always enjoy hearing things like this how one over comes the bad in life .... It takes more than people relize... GREAT POST BRO ...

Life is yours for the takeing you just have to reach out and grab it.....

[novastepp]

to err is human but to overcome...now that's right on!

[Deluge1]

i did bro an i can train tommorow anything but chest

and this guy has got a hardon for me but he keeps making false claims.i think he is wants me to be wrong but it is so hard being rite u know
oh dedicated1 this all started on the T.O thread no biggie see u tommorow bro im out.

Hahaha I have a hardon for you? You've made at LEAST twice as many posts going towards me as I have you. As well as called WAY more names.

By the way I love how you keep throwing emoticons like this in:

Makes me laugh.

And to say you give the guy no sympathy...ya ok....then why did you almost cry reading his post, you obviously care for the guy - which of course you should.

And I love how you keep saying I've been proven wrong. Who proved me wrong? And how?

You're obviously one of those people that just thinks their opinion is worth mroe than everyone else's.


As for the started of the thread. I responded to your post and said You were an inspirationd and congratulated you on your success. You're obviously just rattled because I'm arguing with your bro.


Anyway.

Peace boys.

[pumpd4lif]

Hahaha I have a hardon for you? You've made at LEAST twice as many posts going towards me as I have you. As well as called WAY more names.

By the way I love how you keep throwing emoticons like this in:

Makes me laugh.

And to say you give the guy no sympathy...ya ok....then why did you almost cry reading his post, you obviously care for the guy - which of course you should.

And I love how you keep saying I've been proven wrong. Who proved me wrong? And how?

You're obviously one of those people that just thinks their opinion is worth mroe than everyone else's.


As for the started of the thread. I responded to your post and said You were an inspirationd and congratulated you on your success. You're obviously just rattled because I'm arguing with your bro.


Anyway.

Peace boys.

im sry i didnt relize i was talking to some one as erational as u really are for one having emotions is one thing for the last time i never stated i am emotionless i simply stated that i dont feel sry for people that make stupid desicions.once again ill say uit u reap what u so .and for me saying i almost cried is me feeling his joy in his rebirth to reality IDIOT.and here is a little something for u
and the funny thing is i keep shitting on every false statement u have made u think u woulda givin up by now
a little word of advice for u sunshine, life is hard enough as it is for it is even harder when ur f#$cking stupid

and of course i feel for him he is my brother : /. this doesnt mean he wasnt a moron for the stupid choices he made.im just glad he had the sense to turn his life around and if he went down another road and chose to take his own life god forbid.i wouldnt of felt sry for him one bit for being such a selfish person.but that isnt the case he saw a challenge in his own life and thus far concord that challenge and the choices he has made saved his life
u should repeat this every time u look in the mirror it might do u some good
life is hard enough as it is for it is even harder when ur f#$cking stupid

and u proved urself wrong by taking everything i say outa context.
here is 1 of many examples i can give
u stated i dont have sympathy, ur right on that but that only aplies to the choices people make.i dont feel sry for anyone that makes bad choices and no**y should IMO.

[Deluge1]

im sry i didnt relize i was talking to some one as erational as u really are for one having emotions is one thing for the last time i never stated i am emotionless i simply stated that i dont feel sry for people that make stupid desicions.once again ill say uit u reap what u so .and for me saying i almost cried is me feeling his joy in his rebirth to reality IDIOT.and here is a little something for u
and the funny thing is i keep shitting on every false statement u have made u think u woulda givin up by now
a little word of advice for u sunshine, life is hard enough as it is for it is even harder when ur f#$cking stupid

and of course i feel for him he is my brother : /. this doesnt mean he wasnt a moron for the stupid choices he made.im just glad he had the sense to turn his life around and if he went down another road and chose to take his own life god forbid.i wouldnt of felt sry for him one bit for being such a selfish person.but that isnt the case he saw a challenge in his own life and thus far concord that challenge and the choices he has made saved his life
u should repeat this every time u look in the mirror it might do u some good
life is hard enough as it is for it is even harder when ur f#$cking stupid

and u proved urself wrong by taking everything i say outa context.
here is 1 of many examples i can give
u stated i dont have sympathy, ur right on that but that only aplies to the choices people make.i dont feel sry for anyone that makes bad choices and no**y should IMO.

Haha you're so cute. I love how you keep saying you win. It's awesome. Makes me laugh.

I'm done with you my friend, so write 50 more posts saying how IM obsessed with YOU and try and get the 2 emoticons you havent used yet in them.

My last post to you. Promise.

Good luck in life.

[carguy_z28]

Hahaha I have a hardon for you? You've made at LEAST twice as many posts going towards me as I have you. As well as called WAY more names.

By the way I love how you keep throwing emoticons like this in:

Makes me laugh.

And to say you give the guy no sympathy...ya ok....then why did you almost cry reading his post, you obviously care for the guy - which of course you should.

And I love how you keep saying I've been proven wrong. Who proved me wrong? And how?

You're obviously one of those people that just thinks their opinion is worth mroe than everyone else's.


As for the started of the thread. I responded to your post and said You were an inspirationd and congratulated you on your success. You're obviously just rattled because I'm arguing with your bro.


Anyway.

Peace boys.

Holy shit! YOUR A FVCKING IDIOT!!! I love people like you, gives me an exuse to lash out and smash some heads and not feel bad about it. You stupid fvck. How immature are you, " You called me way more names than I called you". I dont blame him, your a bloody moron. You just have to kill a good post by someone who changed themselfs for the better, with your immature dooshbag bable. GROW UP YOU JACKASS!!! Give your head a shake. Show some respect, If I were pumped4life, Id want to tear your head off just for being the nuciance that you are! I hope you get sorted out good one day, teach you some manners.

[carguy_z28]

P.S. I congrat you an your change man, I know what your talking about, I was just like that also, only for me, it took joining the military to smarten me up. And I can see pumpd stands behind you, thats right on bro. We all need some tuff love once in a while.

[pumpd4lif]

P.S. I congrat you an your change man, I know what your talking about, I was just like that also, only for me, it took joining the military to smarten me up. And I can see pumpd stands behind you, thats right on bro. We all need some tuff love once in a while.

i think honestly tough luv is always good i know for me the hard way used to be the only way i went thru what he went thru at alot younger age.so i learned very early on how to deal with tough situations