Grammar Guru

**THE_DOME** · 10-11-2006, 07:22 PM

I have to write this memo for an admin class does this sound fine or do any of you have suggestions

My partner Tim Caly and I have decided to interview our local athletic director here at Eastern University. Dr. Darren Hbone has agreed to meet with us on October 31st at 10:00am in his office. He has an extensive 20 year background within this field, he is responsible for a multi million dollar budget yearly and is the overseer of 50 staff members. His main objective as an athletic director is to provide leadership and direction.

**mavsluva** · 10-11-2006, 07:28 PM

Originally Posted by THE_DOME

I have to write this memo for an admin class does this sound fine or do any of you have suggestions

My partner Tim Caly and I have decided to interview our local athletic director here at Eastern University. Dr. Darren Hbone has agreed to meet with us on October 31st at 10:00am in his office. He has an extensive 20 year background within this field, he is responsible for a multi million dollar budget yearly and is the overseer of 50 staff members. His main objective as an athletic director is to provide leadership and direction.

I would state it this way:

He has an extensive 20 year background within this field, is responsible for a multi million dollar annual budget and is also the supervisor of 50 staff members.

OR

He has an extensive 20 year background within this field. He is responsible for a multi million dollar annual budget and currently manages 50 direct reports.

Good luck!

**CSAR** · 10-12-2006, 12:54 AM

Originally Posted by THE_DOME

I have to write this memo for an admin class does this sound fine or do any of you have suggestions

My partner Tim Caly and I have decided to interview our local athletic director here at Eastern University. Dr. Darren Hbone has agreed to meet with us on October 31st at 10:00am in his office. He has an extensive 20 year background within this field, he is responsible for a multi million dollar budget yearly and is the overseer of 50 staff members. His main objective as an athletic director is to provide leadership and direction.

Another way of saying the same thing...and I may have included some misinformation...

My partner, Tim Caly, and I have decided to interview Dr. Darren Hbone, the Eastern University athletic director. Dr. Hbone has agreed to meet with us in his office on October 31st at 10 a.m. He has an extensive athletics background, with over 20 years of experience. In addition, he is responsible for a multi-million dollar budget and manages a staff of 50 personnel. Dr. Hbone's main objective as EU athletic director is to provide leadership and direction.

BTW, I'm not a grammarian, but my doctorate is in applied linguistics specializing in phonology.

**Swifto** · 10-12-2006, 03:08 AM

PM majic32 or Nark. There good with language and grammer etc..

**paulzane** · 10-12-2006, 04:28 AM

Originally Posted by THE_DOME

I have to write this memo for an admin class does this sound fine or do any of you have suggestions

My partner Tim Caly and I have decided to interview our local athletic director here at Eastern University. Dr. Darren Hbone has agreed to meet with us on October 31st at 10:00am in his office. He has an extensive 20 year background within this field, he is responsible for a multi million dollar budget yearly and is the overseer of 50 staff members. His main objective as an athletic director is to provide leadership and direction.

My partner, Tim Caly, and I will interview our local athletic director here at Eastern University. Dr. Darren Hbone has agreed to meet us in his office on October 31st at 10:00am.

He has an extensive 20 year background in athletics. In addition, he is responsible for a multi-million dollar budget and manages a staff of 50 personnel. Dr. Hbone's main objective as EU athletic director is to provide leadership and direction.

That is a combo of other good suggestions ..... good luck!