What Should I Do?

**LawMan018** · 12-25-2006, 07:49 PM

This goes back to my ex-gf, but I need some advice on what to do on her current situation. Basically her best friend that lives next door to her called me the other day. We started talking and she said that ever since she started hanging out with her new friend, she's been acting differently. Funny, she started acting different around me when she started hanging out with her...
Anyways, she went on to say that my ex-gf hasn't been hanging out with her, or any of her old friends, she's spending all her free time with this girl. This girl originally seemed very nice, but I think their is a darker side to her. She's talked with me about the breakup and seemed very sincere, but I think she's backstabbing me somehow.
Her friend bringing this up to me also fortifies my belief that this girl is twisting my ex-gf into something bad. Like I said she's very nice, but she likes to party, drink, and used to do a lot of drugs. In fact, I don't know if you read any of my previous posts, but she was arrested for drugs with her ex-bf. Who she broke up with the help of my gf (the guy was a dick).
Anyways, I think this girl, intentionally or not, is really rubbing off negatively on my ex-gf. My ex is going over there a lot after work and drinking, not plastered drunk, but happy drunk. Who knows if they even do drugs, I'm just really worried for her because she was such a sweet girl. She can be influenced very easily, and I think it is happening.
I've spoken with her friend to try and help her, make her spend more time with her, get away from this girl... I just don't know what to do. I mean, the last talk I had with my gf, when she told me we weren't meant for eachother and probably weren't going to get back together, well, it just didn't sound like her. It sounded like someone else... I love this girl, even if she left me, and I don't want to see her screwing her life up.
I think she's so influenced by this girl because... 1, her family is rich, 2, she (was) very popular in high school, 3, she's a carefree do what the hell I want and no one else matters kind of girl (when she isn't trying to act like nice to me).
I haven't been talking to her, I sent her a text saying merry christmas, but that's it. The only thing I can think of to do, is keep in contact with her neighbor and try to help her help my ex get away from this negative influence... Luckily, January 15th, this girl is leaving like 4-5 hours away... So hopefully reality may slap my ex in the face a little while after, but I don't want anything bad, like her to get arrested, in the meantime!

P.S. Just to make all you guys happy and keep you from saying, "God this little bitch needs to stop crying." My previous ex sent a friend request to me on myspace and I got her number and we've been talking. Now, I doubt I'd ever go out with her again... But... I wouldn't mind getting my peepee wet.

**Superhuman** · 12-25-2006, 07:55 PM

A buddy of mine went through the SAME shit... his ex started hanging out with this girl who took her to parties and started doing coke with her, then meth, and then who knows what. If you truly care about her and suspect that's what's going on then I would talk to you ex's parents and do some kind-of intervention. My boy's ex really ****ed her life up. After doing drugs for about a year she looks 10 years older now... she used to be like the hottest girl in the city and now she's gone through bulemia and has all kinds of acne shit on her face and wrinkles - NOT GOOD.

**ecs44** · 12-26-2006, 08:37 AM

Maybe she switched teams and she is into the other girl

**lucabratzi** · 12-26-2006, 09:06 AM

brutha u seriously need to leave this girl alone...ur not with her anymore, and she doesnt care for u...so u shouldnt care for her...im just bein brutally honest...how is her ****in her life up goin to effect you...

**gixxerboy1** · 12-26-2006, 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by Superhuman

A buddy of mine went through the SAME shit... his ex started hanging out with this girl who took her to parties and started doing coke with her, then meth, and then who knows what. If you truly care about her and suspect that's what's going on then I would talk to you ex's parents and do some kind-of intervention. My boy's ex really ****ed her life up. After doing drugs for about a year she looks 10 years older now... she used to be like the hottest girl in the city and now she's gone through bulemia and has all kinds of acne shit on her face and wrinkles - NOT GOOD.

Yea calling her parents wouldn't seem psycho

He has no proof she is doing anything wrong but calling her parents for an intervention wont make him seem like an upset ex.

Bro you guys are young people change. Maybe she is into going out and partying. Sometimes that's what happens to people when they get older. They don't want to have a bf or gf and they go out and live a little. You need to get over her. Your using this drinking as an excuse. It sucks but she picked this new friend and going out over what you were giving her.

**Timm1704** · 12-26-2006, 11:46 AM

Originally Posted by lucabratzi

brutha u seriously need to leave this girl alone...ur not with her anymore, and she doesnt care for u...so u shouldnt care for her...im just bein brutally honest...how is her ****in her life up goin to effect you...

listen to the man!

if you try and 'help' in ANY way, she will think you are psycho, and have the right to then tell all who are interested that you are crazy and the like. leave be, its her life, not everyone lets drug use ruin their life. sit back, take no notice whatsoever, and live YOUR life. she doesnt give a crap about what your doing

**king6** · 12-26-2006, 12:06 PM

The more you interact with her and think about her the harder it's going to be to get over her. Your just torturing yourself, I doubt she is as bent out of shape as you, so you need to be the same way.

**LawMan018** · 12-26-2006, 02:01 PM

Well, my mom was crying last night (PMS I think) and said she missed her ad stuff so I sent her a text saying, "Why don't you call my mom and say hi, you don't have to talk to me." So she called, and they talked. After they were done talking my mom hands me the phone and I talked with her. We just asked eachother how life was going and then I told her I missed her, she said I miss you too. So we talk a little more and before we get off I told her I love you, and she said, "I love you too babe." So I don't know what the hell to think anymore, lol. Apparently she still loves me and misses me... she just needs to be alone or whatever, ionno...

**Hunter** · 12-26-2006, 03:01 PM

Originally Posted by LawMan018

Well, my mom was crying last night (PMS I think) and said she missed her ad stuff so I sent her a text saying, "Why don't you call my mom and say hi, you don't have to talk to me." So she called, and they talked. After they were done talking my mom hands me the phone and I talked with her. We just asked eachother how life was going and then I told her I missed her, she said I miss you too. So we talk a little more and before we get off I told her I love you, and she said, "I love you too babe." So I don't know what the hell to think anymore, lol. Apparently she still loves me and misses me... she just needs to be alone or whatever, ionno...

Ok this is just creepy, your 18 years old its not like you two broke off an engagement. Your sounding like a grade A creep.

**LawMan018** · 12-26-2006, 03:17 PM

A grade A creep? I'm 19 years old actually, and why am I a creep? It's not like the older you get, the more love and affection you feel for someone... I feel just as much as someone twice my age... Sure I'm growing, and changing, but I still feel the same degree of emotions as someone older. Hell, mine are probably stronger being young...

**Snrf** · 12-26-2006, 03:25 PM

"What Should I Do?"

Get a therapist, quit being a cheapskate and relying on us to advise you.

I hate these whiney weepy girlfriend threads bah!

**Hunter** · 12-26-2006, 03:31 PM

Originally Posted by LawMan018

A grade A creep? I'm 19 years old actually, and why am I a creep? It's not like the older you get, the more love and affection you feel for someone... I feel just as much as someone twice my age... Sure I'm growing, and changing, but I still feel the same degree of emotions as someone older. Hell, mine are probably stronger being young...

ok 19 I am only a year older then you, but how would you feel if an ex texted you saying can you talk to my mom she is an emotional wreck? I am not trying to drag you down but you where way to codependent on her for you happiness its time to move on. She doesn't want to be with you, she has told you that. Why waste time being unhappy trying to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Just some things to think about.

**Hunter** · 12-26-2006, 03:34 PM

Also lots of kids that age drink, I never did cause it doesn't fit into my lifestyle but your making assumptions she is using drugs. As far as the friend thing goes maybe she wants different friends, lots of people go through that as they get older. Just an example I still have my bestfriends from highschool but I have alot of new friends now. Its time to move on, you live your life and let her live her life.

**Mizfit** · 12-26-2006, 03:54 PM

I'm with above - creepy - obession.. and if i were her i would get a restraining order.. mind your own business and move on - she threw u away like yesterdays meatloaf.. stop trying to force her to eat last nites meatloaf (you) cause she is only doing it outta pity.

Using your own mother u should be ashamed then locked away in the loney bin.

**Foskamink** · 12-26-2006, 03:59 PM

well i was going to read this thread till i saw mizfit here!! so ill cut it short
nice to see you back mizfit. nice back picture looking pretty ripped!

**Foskamink** · 12-26-2006, 04:08 PM

Originally Posted by mn_fighter

ok 19 I am only a year older then you, but how would you feel if an ex texted you saying can you talk to my mom she is an emotional wreck? I am not trying to drag you down but you where way to codependent on her for you happiness its time to move on. She doesn't want to be with you, she has told you that. Why waste time being unhappy trying to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Just some things to think about.

big agree here, even if she still cares about you she dosnt have it in her to tell you, my ex is the type to give up roll over and die in other words stay upset and be unhappy instead of talking to me and resolving. then i moved and either way she couldnt let herself get involved and neither could i because it would make things worse. 2 months later at christmas. i was going to get her diamond earings but then you know what. i said **** that. i aint going to give a few months of hard earnt cash away on a presant to somone whos embaressed to speak english somtimes and try to explain there feelings and thoughts because they are scared they will say somthing wrong. this girls mother tells me how she always wanted to be perfect and shes afraid cause my english is 1st language. you know u gotta get away from this shit. i spent a few months thinking about it. then suddenly i said **** it. when u learn shes the one who dosnt deserve you then you will understand. and i bet you 100% in the end you will understand ur the better person one way or another and its her loss.

**gixxerboy1** · 12-26-2006, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by LawMan018

A grade A creep? I'm 19 years old actually, and why am I a creep? It's not like the older you get, the more love and affection you feel for someone... I feel just as much as someone twice my age... Sure I'm growing, and changing, but I still feel the same degree of emotions as someone older. Hell, mine are probably stronger being young...

Because at 19 you don't know how to handle your feelings and really haven't experienced a lot to really understand them.

Yes she may still love you and have feelings for you after being with you for so long. But she isn't in love with you there is a difference.

**king6** · 12-26-2006, 07:16 PM

I don't think you are an obsessive creep, but I think you are displaying unhealthy behavior. Not to her, but on yourself. You are just making things harder on yourself. I know you love her and want to get back together but, there is a reason the people are ex's, because they don't belong together.

**Superhuman** · 12-27-2006, 12:16 AM

look man I am your age too - I am going through my own issues with my girl... in the scheme of things if it doesn't work out sure it will hurt ALOT but soon you will get over it and you will be stronger because of it. I say go on with your life and have fun and make more friends and IF she decides she wants to be with you, let her come to you okay!!!

**LawMan018** · 12-27-2006, 12:31 AM

Actually, despite all the negative feedback you guys have given me, things are looking good. Her best friend (who I'm friends with) was driving with her yesterday and asked her what's up with us. She says, "I don't know if I made a good decision or not. I'm probably going to realize what I had and want him back, I just needed space." So with space it seems she's understanding what she had. I'm not moping over her, I'm not freaking out putting pictures on my wall and tracking her cell phone, I am moving on. Day by day I'm feeling better, I'm even talking with my ex ex, lol. I'm still a little sad, and knowing now that this is kind of a test, for her and myself... I feel a little comforted. Even if things don't work out, I'm sure by the time she's made her ultimate decision I'll be fine with whatever she says... I want you back? Great, you better not pull this shit again woman, or, I think we better move on, okay, at least I got a woman on the side!

**chest6** · 12-27-2006, 12:44 AM

Originally Posted by king6

The more you interact with her and think about her the harder it's going to be to get over her. Your just torturing yourself, I doubt she is as bent out of shape as you, so you need to be the same way.

Yep..best thing advice there could be. YOu need to get over here. More u think bout her..more u try to talk to her..the harder it will be. TRUST me..I did all the crap ur doing now..it only makes it worse

**big L 17** · 12-27-2006, 01:17 AM

walk away shes no good for u

**zodiac666** · 12-27-2006, 02:41 AM

Originally Posted by LawMan018

Actually, despite all the negative feedback you guys have given me, things are looking good. Her best friend (who I'm friends with) was driving with her yesterday and asked her what's up with us. She says, "I don't know if I made a good decision or not. I'm probably going to realize what I had and want him back, I just needed space." So with space it seems she's understanding what she had. I'm not moping over her, I'm not freaking out putting pictures on my wall and tracking her cell phone, I am moving on. Day by day I'm feeling better, I'm even talking with my ex ex, lol. I'm still a little sad, and knowing now that this is kind of a test, for her and myself... I feel a little comforted. Even if things don't work out, I'm sure by the time she's made her ultimate decision I'll be fine with whatever she says... I want you back? Great, you better not pull this shit again woman, or, I think we better move on, okay, at least I got a woman on the side!

LMFAO, jesus fvcking christ man leave her the fvck alone and quit thinking about her. i know its hard but you need to have ZERO contact with her and probably her best friend. i know it hurts man but you really need to just realize that it is over, i have been hurt before and felt pretty weak for a few weeks but i would never be so pathetic as to have my mom call her????? did you think that would impress her???

this is just one of many of life's tests to see what kind of man you are, you need to be comfortable with being by yourself and then you can go find a good girl. and also when you do get a new girl try not to act like a little bitch around her or you will drive her away too.

**zodiac666** · 12-27-2006, 02:51 AM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

I'm with above - creepy - obession.. and if i were her i would get a restraining order.. mind your own business and move on - she threw u away like yesterdays meatloaf.. stop trying to force her to eat last nites meatloaf (you) cause she is only doing it outta pity.

Using your own mother u should be ashamed then locked away in the loney bin.

^^^this is coming from a female, listen to her. i will say it in simpler terms...your ex thinks you are extremely pathetic and any time she is nice to you its because she feels sorry for you, but she really doesnt want to have anything to do with you. you are going to go through all kinds of shit in your life, family members dying...etc. you just have to make the best of your life and right now this girl is driving you crazy, you just have to take some time away from everything that has to do with her so you can get her out of your head. not trying to be an asshole man, but i think you need a sledgehammer to get this through your brain.

excellent advice as usual miz

, but what happend to your avy???

**Mizfit** · 12-27-2006, 05:31 AM

Originally Posted by zodiac666

^^^this is coming from a female, listen to her. i will say it in simpler terms...your ex thinks you are extremely pathetic and any time she is nice to you its because she feels sorry for you, but she really doesnt want to have anything to do with you. you are going to go through all kinds of shit in your life, family members dying...etc. you just have to make the best of your life and right now this girl is driving you crazy, you just have to take some time away from everything that has to do with her so you can get her out of your head. not trying to be an asshole man, but i think you need a sledgehammer to get this through your brain.

excellent advice as usual miz

, but what happend to your avy???

If i was her - his actions, reactions.. fact he is asking people in her life about her constantly.. (He is assuming this is not getting back to her but i can gaurantee u, it is) If they r her friends they play both sides of the field.. feeding him info, and feeding her.

Lawnman - ur young.. i realize that but your word.. are quite frightening.. you say you move on yet your constantly trying to find out about her and hanging out with her friends. - this i not moving on it's called living in the past.

You have even thought about what will hapen if she takes you back.. so NO u have not move on your full of hope and your hope is irrational. Let her live her life, stop interfering, stop talking to her friends get ones of your own.

What i also find comical is you say you have moved on yet it is with another ex - ex'es are exs for a reason..

Ur not being rational...AT ALL

**Foskamink** · 12-27-2006, 06:18 AM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

If i was her - his actions, reactions.. fact he is asking people in her life about her constantly.. (He is assuming this is not getting back to her but i can gaurantee u, it is) If they r her friends they play both sides of the field.. feeding him info, and feeding her.

Lawnman - ur young.. i realize that but your word.. are quite frightening.. you say you move on yet your constantly trying to find out about her and hanging out with her friends. - this i not moving on it's called living in the past.

You have even thought about what will hapen if she takes you back.. so NO u have not move on your full of hope and your hope is irrational. Let her live her life, stop interfering, stop talking to her friends get ones of your own.

What i also find comical is you say you have moved on yet it is with another ex - ex'es are exs for a reason..

Ur not being rational...AT ALL

yeh this has some really good points.
glad i realised everything and moved on before i became in this state!
good luck man, go uphill not further down.

**zodiac666** · 12-27-2006, 06:52 AM

Originally Posted by Mizfit

If i was her - his actions, reactions.. fact he is asking people in her life about her constantly.. (He is assuming this is not getting back to her but i can gaurantee u, it is) If they r her friends they play both sides of the field.. feeding him info, and feeding her.

Lawnman - ur young.. i realize that but your word.. are quite frightening.. you say you move on yet your constantly trying to find out about her and hanging out with her friends. - this i not moving on it's called living in the past.

You have even thought about what will hapen if she takes you back.. so NO u have not move on your full of hope and your hope is irrational. Let her live her life, stop interfering, stop talking to her friends get ones of your own.

What i also find comical is you say you have moved on yet it is with another ex - ex'es are exs for a reason..

Ur not being rational...AT ALL

why dont you have your picture up, you're cute as hell and have a great body?

**Timm1704** · 12-27-2006, 07:36 AM

Originally Posted by LawMan018

Actually, despite all the negative feedback you guys have given me, things are looking good. Her best friend (who I'm friends with) was driving with her yesterday and asked her what's up with us. She says, "I don't know if I made a good decision or not. I'm probably going to realize what I had and want him back, I just needed space." So with space it seems she's understanding what she had. I'm not moping over her, I'm not freaking out putting pictures on my wall and tracking her cell phone, I am moving on. Day by day I'm feeling better, I'm even talking with my ex ex, lol. I'm still a little sad, and knowing now that this is kind of a test, for her and myself... I feel a little comforted. Even if things don't work out, I'm sure by the time she's made her ultimate decision I'll be fine with whatever she says... I want you back? Great, you better not pull this shit again woman, or, I think we better move on, okay, at least I got a woman on the side!

typical early feelings after a relationship has ended. you start missing one another, get back together, then break up again for the final time. just prolonging the hurt. chances are, after another week or so, she will have completely moved on, and will feel all the same feelings she felt that made her want to be single. if i was you, if she does try and give it another go, just say no. it wont work, ITS OVER! she is no longer your special someone im afraid. seems wank now, but soon youl be fine

**king6** · 12-27-2006, 09:06 AM

Originally Posted by LawMan018

Actually, despite all the negative feedback you guys have given me, things are looking good. Her best friend (who I'm friends with) was driving with her yesterday and asked her what's up with us. She says, "I don't know if I made a good decision or not. I'm probably going to realize what I had and want him back, I just needed space." So with space it seems she's understanding what she had. I'm not moping over her, I'm not freaking out putting pictures on my wall and tracking her cell phone, I am moving on. Day by day I'm feeling better, I'm even talking with my ex ex, lol. I'm still a little sad, and knowing now that this is kind of a test, for her and myself... I feel a little comforted. Even if things don't work out, I'm sure by the time she's made her ultimate decision I'll be fine with whatever she says... I want you back? Great, you better not pull this shit again woman, or, I think we better move on, okay, at least I got a woman on the side!

I will say it again. THERE IS A REASON PEOPLE ARE EX'S, BECAUSE THEY DON'T BELONG TOGETHER!!!

**Superhuman** · 12-27-2006, 10:26 AM

Don't talk to her are talk with her friends AT ALL for at least 2 whole weeks... it's not that hard. After that time see how you feel. You may discover that you are not really in love with her you just are afraid of being alone - OR perhaps you guys may realize after not speaking how much you meant to eachother and embrace eachother again with open arms ready to make it work. TRUST ME, go TWO WEEKS without speaking to her in any way OKAY!

**Mizfit** · 12-27-2006, 03:10 PM

Originally Posted by king6

I will say it again. THERE IS A REASON PEOPLE ARE EX'S, BECAUSE THEY DON'T BELONG TOGETHER!!!

"Never miss anyone from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future."

**Foskamink** · 12-27-2006, 03:34 PM

cmon lets not get all shitty at this guy its his own life and decisions most people say they have been there and know the feeling well good act like it. ofcourse u can now say to walk away and how he needs to move on and how pathetic it is, but honestly when u were in his shoes u did not think or act like that, you were hung up at one point or another and only after months and getting over him or her then you can say what ur now saying. so cut him some slack cause anybody who can just drop somone from their head that quick and not care is cold hearted and didnt care about them in the first place. let this dude feel cumfort and warmth not hate and embaressment.

**goodcents** · 12-27-2006, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by lucabratzi

brutha u seriously need to leave this girl alone...ur not with her anymore, and she doesnt care for u...so u shouldnt care for her...im just bein brutally honest...how is her ****in her life up goin to effect you...

Yeah she is nothing but trouble. Run from this bltch and be glad you did. She is full of shit and just wants to fuk up your life

Your either going to wind up in legal trouble or shoot yourself fuking with this chic. Been there done that a few times

Never feel shlt for a chic if she doesn't change her own behavior. Trust me it's not the end of the world being w/o this hoe

chics are every where, it's one big buffet and I have a plate out every day

**goodcents** · 12-27-2006, 06:33 PM

My best friend told me the same thing everyone else is saying, but I wouldn't listen either. Do you think you are the only dude that's went through this shlt?

ps if you get in trouble or pop yourself over this chic, she will only be banging some other dude. (probably that day too

) You sound young, you should be out fuking not dicking with this hoe

**LawMan018** · 12-28-2006, 12:34 AM

Lol, I didn't have my mom call her... She was good friends with my parents as well, and hung out with them sometimes when I wasn't around... I just thought it would be nice, on Christmas, if she could call my mom and just talk with her... My mom is very emotional (think that's where I got it =/)

**LawMan018** · 12-28-2006, 12:35 AM

Originally Posted by Foskamink

cmon lets not get all shitty at this guy its his own life and decisions most people say they have been there and know the feeling well good act like it. ofcourse u can now say to walk away and how he needs to move on and how pathetic it is, but honestly when u were in his shoes u did not think or act like that, you were hung up at one point or another and only after months and getting over him or her then you can say what ur now saying. so cut him some slack cause anybody who can just drop somone from their head that quick and not care is cold hearted and didnt care about them in the first place. let this dude feel cumfort and warmth not hate and embaressment.

Thank you Foskamink...

**Hunter** · 12-28-2006, 03:00 AM

Lawman, I think your a caring person but your coming off as creepy, obesive, and kinda pathetic. Let her go she doesnt want you anymore. Dont go back to an ex either. I know you care but she doesnt care much about you. Its time to move on, its not being cold hearted its looking out for yourself. You cant move forward staring back. Its time to move on(it was time to move on after the break up) but now its deffiantly the time.

**taiboxa** · 12-28-2006, 11:59 AM

women are dumb

**Foskamink** · 12-28-2006, 12:39 PM

Originally Posted by taiboxa

women are dumb

secondededed!

**king6** · 12-28-2006, 03:07 PM

It's better to break up and heal than live in a false reality. Who knows you may get back together, but what split you up to begin with will still be there.