Parents are you for corporal punishment for children?

**Mike Dura** · 01-09-2007, 01:20 PM

Spare the rod spoil the child? Corporal punishment always seems to lead to a lively debate. Here's a link to some of the research on it:

http://people.biola.edu/faculty/paulp/

The article implies that this area of research is politically hot (i.e., it has implications for social policy, law or values in general). Politically hot topics in research are often flawed with respect to secondary interpretations - especially when it's a source with an agenda (e.g., the christian monitor). Often the writers are not only biased but often have little background in research method and statistics. It's easy for the layperson to be mislead by a slickly written article that argues for attitudes the reader already has.

Anyway, I'm against it. My step-father was old school and did that and what stood out most to me was how much I hated him for it. He stopped when I fought back when I was about 15 and I suddenly overpowered him. I never hit him, I'd just get him into a full-nelson and I felt bad about it. When I had him pinned one time, I remember saying to my step-father, "I will not hit you I'm only defending myself." No one deserves to be hit!

I became a confirmed brawler in high school (often over rivalry with the jocks from next town) too but I outgrew that sillyness by 11th grade. Did corporal punishment contribute to this? I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

So needless to say, I'm not for it at all. I think a parent should model "non-violence" and self-restraint to their children. I would imagine that most here would agree but maybe not. What do you think?

RA · 01-09-2007, 01:31 PM

I dont often spank but I do think its needed sometimes. My oldest daughter is 10 and I dont spank her at all anymore. By that age they understand other punishments and its not needed.

My father used to back me into a corner and verbally abuse me or hit me until I beat his ass as a teen. He was big but never had to fight because of his size.

I understand those people who say Im never going to spank but those people generally havent had children yet.

**NightTrain** · 01-09-2007, 01:49 PM

i personally believe in it..... now dont get me wrong i dont mean you should beat yor child, that i DO NOT approve of, but a swat on the rear never hurt anyone for more than a few seconds.... and it always got my attention as a child, my father used to spank us and i think i turned out ok.....

RA · 01-09-2007, 01:53 PM

Oh yeah, IMO if you spank more than 1 or 2 times thats not discipline, it abuse.

***perfectbeast2001*** · 01-09-2007, 02:20 PM

I agree with it, just look at our society. The more the law has gone towards not physically punishing children the worse they are behaving. Now days kids go round swearing at the police and generally being assholes. When I was a kid the policeman would have given us a slap for that. I have spanked my stepsons ass before. Now he is older (14) there are certain things he knows would get him a proper slap such as hitting females or little kids and disrespecting his mother.
He is a good boy and has learnt respect and manners because he knows there is a consequences. We have a happy home life because we all have good manners and respect around the home.

**gixxerboy1** · 01-09-2007, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by perfectbeast2001

I agree with it, just look at our society. The more the law has gone towards not physically punishing children the worse they are behaving. Now days kids go round swearing at the police and generally being assholes. When I was a kid the policeman would have given us a slap for that. I have spanked my stepsons ass before. Now he is older (14) there are certain things he knows would get him a proper slap such as hitting females or little kids and disrespecting his mother.
He is a good boy and has learnt respect and manners because he knows there is a consequences. We have a happy home life because we all have good manners and respect around the home.

Respect? Put some pants on in the kitchen, people have to eat in there

**crazycrab** · 01-09-2007, 02:30 PM

I agree with Roid. I have three children and they should be loved and incouraged, But some times they need a quick wack on the rear to get their attention( not a beating) just to let them Know they crossed a line. With that said I rarely hit my children. I beleive that most parents are that way.

**ect0m0rph** · 01-09-2007, 02:32 PM

I am torn on the subject. Often times parents use spanking instead of being a parent they try to intimidate their kids. But sometimes you need to spank them so they get the message, its 50-50 with me.

***perfectbeast2001*** · 01-09-2007, 02:33 PM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

Respect? Put some pants on in the kitchen, people have to eat in there

LMAO I washed first honestly!!

**Terinox** · 01-09-2007, 02:42 PM

There is a reason why God created humans with so much meat on their ass! It is the "Designated Slap Zone," and personally I think it's necessary, up until about age 10-11, when they realize right/wrong, and like many said above, other consequences and styles of punishment. "No" is just a word, and they will not listen just because you say it

**crazycrab** · 01-09-2007, 02:52 PM

I think kids need good guids in their early years. you have to control what they watch on TV and listen to on the radio. I am 34 and it has gotten crazy sence i was a child.

**crazycrab** · 01-09-2007, 02:52 PM

I think kids need good guids in their early years. you have to control what they watch on TV and listen to on the radio. I am 34 and it has gotten crazy sence i was a child.

**Chemical King** · 01-09-2007, 02:59 PM

absoulutly not. I only need to raise my voice. Having sed that, if sum ppl feel it right to slap hand than thats up to them

***perfectbeast2001*** · 01-09-2007, 03:04 PM

Originally Posted by Chemical King

absoulutly not. I only need to raise my voice. Having sed that, if sum ppl feel it right to slap hand than thats up to them

I think If I had been there from my step sons birth this would have been the case but he was 6 yrs old when I moved in so he had already picked up some very bad habits from his idiot drug dealing father.

SVTMuscle* · 01-09-2007, 03:06 PM

Parents, knock out your kids... it works!

**zaggahamma** · 01-09-2007, 03:34 PM

have 4 daughters and believe that when younger is when spanking is/has been necessary....when they get older there are other punishments like restricting television, phone, activities that are already planned.
but it is so important to install good values/rules when young and of course both parents if possible should practice the same methods

**Shane35aa** · 01-09-2007, 03:58 PM

When corporal punishment was used in schools, we had alot less violence out of kids when they hit high school. It gets down to having people relize there are consequences for there actions

SVTMuscle* · 01-09-2007, 04:13 PM

I hate how all the schools are getting so leanant.
They are no longer posting honor roll lists in local newspapers because it 'lowers the self esteem' of those children who didnt make it, parents are no longer able to discipline their children correctly, if a kid is dumb they just immediately diagnose him/her with ADHD and needs all this special attention rather than accepting the fact the kid just isnt bright... in 20-30 years all these kids are gonna enter the world so confused and sheltered, its sad.

RA · 01-09-2007, 04:49 PM

Originally Posted by SVTMuscle

I hate how all the schools are getting so leanant.
They are no longer posting honor roll lists in local newspapers because it 'lowers the self esteem' of those children who didnt make it, parents are no longer able to discipline their children correctly, if a kid is dumb they just immediately diagnose him/her with ADHD and needs all this special attention rather than accepting the fact the kid just isnt bright... in 20-30 years all these kids are gonna enter the world so confused and sheltered, its sad.

It will never change until we get corral out of control lawyers. A kid gets a little slap on the hand and the parents are ready to sue and the blood sucking lawyers are more then happy to help.

**Anabolic1234** · 01-09-2007, 05:29 PM

Yes .. need to set boundaries

SVTMuscle* · 01-09-2007, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by roidattack

It will never change until we get corral out of control lawyers. A kid gets a little slap on the hand and the parents are ready to sue and the blood sucking lawyers are more then happy to help.

or, if parents slap their kids on the hand they get taken by social services and get arrested for child abuse

**CSAR** · 01-10-2007, 03:40 AM

My wife and I talk to our daughter (2 1/2 y.o.) first when she does something naughty. We give a mild slap on the hand the second time. A firm pat on the bottom the third time. Surprisingly enough, she has come to understand that when mom and dad use the "serious voice," we mean business.

My old man beat me senseless on a weekly basis for stupid shit like not being able to hold a horse still (I was 5 y.o.) while he was trying to shoe it (I grew up on a horse/cattle ranch). Spankings? I wish...leather belts, willow switches, horse halters, buggy whips, backhands, fists, etc., were the norm. I was glad when my mom finally threw his ass out and divorced him.

**Booz** · 01-10-2007, 04:04 AM

i do not agree with excessive spanking,if the child has done something severe then maybe a slap on the behind,everyone parents in a different way,with my eldest girls they got a slap or two when they were younger,my boy has never been touched,just the raising of my voice has always been enough and my baby will be the same......................

**Hunter** · 01-10-2007, 04:25 AM

I got a few slaps on the ass when I was younger. My parents where strict with me and I thank them for it. In fall I had soccor, harvest and school. In the winter I had wrestling and misc work around the farm. In the spring/summer planting plus greco and freestyle. It did not matter how sore I was my ass was expected to be up to get work done on the farm. My parents expected me to do well in school, sports and to hold my self up to a higher moral standard then most. I did not get a car or money for a 4.0 gpa nor did my father ever baby me after a loss in wrestling etc. He said good job and that was it. My parents raised me to be understanding but stick to what I believe is right. Parents, school etc today do not displine enough. I do not believe in beating the hell out of your kid nor do I believe in turning a blind eye. You cant say never spank and you cant say spank away. For example my wrestling coach never road my ass becouse I was harder on myself and some guys he had to ride hard. The same goes with kids imo.

**Panzerfaust** · 01-10-2007, 05:29 AM

LOL @ reading a study on spanking your child. If you have to ask, then i don't know what to tell you.

Just have a look at the little bastards people are raising today and you will know that spanking/discipline is not there.

**CSAR** · 01-10-2007, 05:44 AM

Originally Posted by mn_fighter

I got a few slaps on the ass when I was younger. My parents where strict with me and I thank them for it. In fall I had soccor, harvest and school. In the winter I had wrestling and misc work around the farm. In the spring/summer planting plus greco and freestyle. It did not matter how sore I was my ass was expected to be up to get work done on the farm. My parents expected me to do well in school, sports and to hold my self up to a higher moral standard then most. I did not get a car or money for a 4.0 gpa nor did my father ever baby me after a loss in wrestling etc. He said good job and that was it. My parents raised me to be understanding but stick to what I believe is right. Parents, school etc today do not displine enough.

I could not agree more! With the exception of our fathers, sounds like our upbringing was rather similar. There's no better place to raise children than a farm/ranch, IMO.

**Chemical King** · 01-10-2007, 05:54 AM

my grandfather used to beat fuk ot my dad wif a belt buckle for pretty much nothing at all, so i would have though that it would make him not want to do the same shit to me.

Because of the beatings i got when i was younger, i definitly would not do it to my son and scare him mentaly like i was. Im fine now but thats cos i delt with it, but if my son had that happen to him whats to say he wont deal with it a different way...for example...injecting heroin or sum shitlike that. Im a good dad and thats the way it will stay

**Snrf** · 01-10-2007, 06:42 AM

***G-1000*** · 01-10-2007, 07:18 AM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

Respect? Put some pants on in the kitchen, people have to eat in there

You crack me up.

***G-1000*** · 01-10-2007, 07:22 AM

I don’t have kids but I do feel proper punishment is necessary. These doses not mean excessive a light smack or slap only if needed. I would never stand for a disrespectful chilled. I see kids now a days and my head spins. If I did some of the thing they do when I was young. I would have the shit beat out of me ed.

**beuleux** · 01-10-2007, 07:41 AM

There is a difference betweena swift clout and a beating, my kids very rarely get a swift clout and never a beating.

and yes if youre not carefull you will have all kinds off officials on your case acusing you of all kinds of shit

and yes beast put some strides on please, Ive made you a new avey till then

**up2itt2003** · 01-10-2007, 10:21 AM

A swat on the a$$ or a pinch of the ear sometimes is more effective than asking for a response 100x

**Red Ketchup** · 01-10-2007, 11:27 AM

I am totally against beating the crap out of yor kids...

That being said, I think some kids need to be reminded who the parent is and who the kid is, and this new age bullshit hippy parenting just doesn't cut it so a hand on a bottom is sometimes needed.

I've barely ever spanked my boy, but with the few times I did, I've estsablished that in certain situations I mean business. Now that he's older (13), there are far more effective forms of punishment (taking away his tv rights, ipod, psp, ps2 and computer for a week and making him read a book is worse than the spanish inquisition!!!)

Maybe the kids woundn't be such little out of control shits if parents stopped trying to be their childrens "buddy" and acted like PARENTS now and then...

Red

**prncezzml** · 01-10-2007, 11:30 AM

I smack my daughter's hands occasionally when she won't stop pulling the polar water nozzle and spilling water all over the floor. She doesn't usually even cry though. There is a psychological theory of parenting styles and usually the authoritative style parents have the best principles of discipline, it includes stern, but not severe punishment. Just expressing disappointment and saying "That's not very nice" in a stern voice for example. This encourages children to be able to honest with their parents because they don't have fear of what will happen to them if they screw up (especially in the teen years). These kind of parents have definite control and rules, but also express lots of warmth and love. This is what I try to practice with my toddler, and she is an extremely warm and loving little child. So, you learn you're behavior from your parents for sure. If your stepdad hit you, you were more likely to solve probelms with hitting.

**rockbottom** · 01-10-2007, 11:47 AM

Mostly positive reinforcement. Occassionally a swat is necessary. Must be careful not to lose your temper while juicing, though.

**Mike Dura** · 01-10-2007, 12:54 PM

Questioning convention is not something to laught at. It's something that people with mature minds with developed imaginations do. It's better to take informed action rather than just mindlessly going along with the herd.

Originally Posted by muriloninja

LOL @ reading a study on spanking your child. If you have to ask, then i don't know what to tell you.

Just have a look at the little bastards people are raising today and you will know that spanking/discipline is not there.

**Mike Dura** · 01-10-2007, 12:59 PM

That's exactly what the experts say. "Accentuate the postive." Catch a child doing something right and then praise him or her and see if these positive behaviors subsequently increase over time (if they do, you're praise functions as a reinforcer). In this scheme, the parent is the arranger of contingencies. Generally, the idea is, the more the positive behaviors increase, the more the negative behaviors are squeezed out.

Setting up reward systems, etc, is a systematic way of "accentuating the positive" and the research supports this approach as effective. I think basic learning theory is very relevant to parenting.

Originally Posted by rockbottom

Mostly positive reinforcement. Occassionally a swat is necessary. Must be careful not to lose your temper while juicing, though.

**ebjack** · 01-10-2007, 01:05 PM

My daughter never needed a spanking at all.....My son needed it......I think all kids are different and you have to find out what works for them without ruling anything out (of course sadism is ruled out)

**Bigen12** · 01-10-2007, 02:21 PM

I'm for corporal punishment to a point,

I found in one of the critiques some conditions that mirrored my method.

Thus the evidence to date suggests that non-abusive spanking has generally beneficial effects on children under the following limited conditions at least:

Age: 2 to 6 years
How: 2 open-handed swats to the buttocks, leaving no bruise
How: Primarily as back-up for less aversive discipline responses (e.g., reasoning and time out). Using it as a back-up should make reasoning and time out more effective so that the spanking back-up can be phased out.
Who: by loving parents

Eight of the 9 best studies support this, and the 9th (Straus et al., 1997) has no evidence against it.

Originally Posted by Mike Dura

Anyway, I'm against it. My step-father was old school and did that and what stood out most to me was how much I hated him for it. He stopped when I fought back when I was about 15 and I suddenly overpowered him. I never hit him, I'd just get him into a full-nelson and I felt bad about it. When I had him pinned one time, I remember saying to my step-father, "I will not hit you I'm only defending myself." No one deserves to be hit!

I’m surprised that your step-father spanked you at the age of 15, IMHO that’s way too old to be spanking, at that age taking away freedom works much better. I’ve got a 15 year old daughter, simply mentioning that a bad choice of hers might lead to grounding, really gets her attention.

I am a step-father to 4 children. I pretty much used the above rules, other than I did spank the boys until they were 12 with the girls, didn't have to after they were 8.

I would explain to them the rules, and with their first infraction I would use alternative punishment, but when they kept breaking the rules, they would get a spanking. Only a swat or two on their bottom, most of the time I doubted that it even hurt, but it was just the fact that I had spanked them.