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  1. #1
    fenceguy's Avatar
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    selfish question

    Hers the deal, I have been dating this chick for a while, and she is pretty cool, and i enjoy being with her and doing shit. and the sex is ok but its not great. She seems to be getting more serious and I am not sure if I can get serious with her. the problem I have is she hates giving head. she won't do it says it makes her gag and wants to throw up. I just can't see myself spending the rest of my life with a woman who won't go down on me. is that wrong?

  2. #2
    RA's Avatar
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    I had the same thing. She eventually got used to it and then loved doing it all the time. I'd be happy shes not a super pro at it if I were you. Those are the kind you dont keep.

  3. #3
    fenceguy's Avatar
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    I can understand that. but she wont even try. she adimantly refuses.

  4. #4
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    Yeah, adamantly refusing is not to be tolerated. The girl I've been with is definitely giving me professional quality blowjobs and you know she had to learn that shit somewhere. But that thought has never once crossed my mind when I'm about to bust in her mouth so I am cool with that.

    In your situation, you gotta line that bitch out. haha. Yeah, tell her fine, no head means I'll get it somewhere else. See if that changes her mind. If not, that's fine too, let some other dude hang out with her and her mediocre sex with no oral.


    The worst blowjob I ever had is still better than the best day at Disneyworld.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by ginkobulloba
    Yeah, adamantly refusing is not to be tolerated. The girl I've been with is definitely giving me professional quality blowjobs and you know she had to learn that shit somewhere. But that thought has never once crossed my mind when I'm about to bust in her mouth so I am cool with that.

    In your situation, you gotta line that bitch out. haha. Yeah, tell her fine, no head means I'll get it somewhere else. See if that changes her mind. If not, that's fine too, let some other dude hang out with her and her mediocre sex with no oral.


    The worst blowjob I ever had is still better than the best day at Disneyworld.
    I dunno man.... Disney rocks!

  6. #6
    ginkobulloba's Avatar
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    Ok, if you get a blowjob at Disneyworld, that's like the best day ever.

  7. #7
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    Iv never baan to disney world so I cant compair but i do know i dont really like bjs, they are WAY over rated. Out of all the girls that have tried their has been only 3 to succed at it.

  8. #8
    fenceguy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schmidty
    Iv never baan to disney world so I cant compair but i do know i dont really like bjs, they are WAY over rated. Out of all the girls that have tried their has been only 3 to succed at it.

    Try having sex with a chick which is awake for a change instead of passed out drunk it might make a difference.


  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by ginkobulloba
    Ok, if you get a blowjob at Disneyworld, that's like the best day ever.
    Agreed

  10. #10
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    Meh to be honest I wouldnt really care that much. Gettin a BJ seems like a more slutty thing to do, I get head from random chicks, it seems degrading imo.

    If it was my wife I wouldnt even care, I would prolly prefer she didnt give me head. Make her look like a slut to me.

  11. #11
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    just my 2 cents...

    it's true that she may learn to like it, but dont expect that she will. You gotta love her for what she is right now, otherwise you'll be very unhappy later if she never learns to love giving bj's. Some chicks are "givers" and some chicks aren't.

  12. #12
    Titleist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fenceguy
    Try having sex with a chick which is awake for a change instead of passed out drunk it might make a difference.




  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by fenceguy
    Hers the deal, I have been dating this chick for a while, and she is pretty cool, and i enjoy being with her and doing shit. and the sex is ok but its not great. She seems to be getting more serious and I am not sure if I can get serious with her. the problem I have is she hates giving head. she won't do it says it makes her gag and wants to throw up. I just can't see myself spending the rest of my life with a woman who won't go down on me. is that wrong?
    Yet another reason not to date women

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by fenceguy
    Hers the deal, I have been dating this chick for a while, and she is pretty cool, and i enjoy being with her and doing shit. and the sex is ok but its not great. She seems to be getting more serious and I am not sure if I can get serious with her. the problem I have is she hates giving head. she won't do it says it makes her gag and wants to throw up. I just can't see myself spending the rest of my life with a woman who won't go down on me. is that wrong?
    No, I wouldn't be with someone if the sex sucked.

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    so funny.i cant believe people are so sadly shallow they base their whole relationship on oral sex.if shes so great at it where the fu*k do you think she learnt.......ill tell you where,the 150+ guys she sucked off before you.lol

    just tell her what you like.my mate trant says he prefers women who are kak in bed cus you can train them to do what you like,i suppose hes right

  16. #16
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    How is it shallow? Everything matters in a relationship. Is it shallow to stay with her if the sex is great but her personality sucked.

    If she is willing to try i stick it out. If she is not i hold her down and j/k

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by gixxerboy1
    How is it shallow? Everything matters in a relationship. Is it shallow to stay with her if the sex is great but her personality sucked.

    If she is willing to try i stick it out. If she is not i hold her down and j/k
    Ronan is the most shallow out of all of us. He's married to his avatar because she gives GREAT head.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Serotonin
    Ronan is the most shallow out of all of us. He's married to his avatar because she gives GREAT head.

    yawn...if i was as ugly as you id wish i could only marry someone as good as my avatar......pretty boy.lol.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by gixxerboy1
    How is it shallow? Everything matters in a relationship. Is it shallow to stay with her if the sex is great but her personality sucked.

    If she is willing to try i stick it out. If she is not i hold her down and j/k

    thats my point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  20. #20
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    we all have priorities, if its important to you then..... as for me i think oral is deff more of a one sided deal and can deff be a little on the degrading side(ie.blowing ur load in her face).i enjoy it now and then but i dont see it as a deal breaker.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by ronan the barbarian
    yawn...if i was as ugly as you id wish i could only marry someone as good as my avatar......pretty boy.lol.
    Its manpretty. Get it right.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Serotonin
    Its manpretty. Get it right.

    mmmm......Run forrest...........sorry........ you dont look that clever.lol.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by fenceguy
    Hers the deal, I have been dating this chick for a while, and she is pretty cool, and i enjoy being with her and doing shit. and the sex is ok but its not great. She seems to be getting more serious and I am not sure if I can get serious with her. the problem I have is she hates giving head. she won't do it says it makes her gag and wants to throw up. I just can't see myself spending the rest of my life with a woman who won't go down on me. is that wrong?

    Here's the problem: You're not a real man.

    Here's why: You desire manly activities, but you don't want to be a man about them. You wrote, "She seems to be getting more serious and I am not sure if I can get serious with her." Well brother, I've got a new alert for you. Having sex with a woman is pretty darn serious territory! I'm not a betting man, but I'd put money on the fact that you probably don't know this woman's middle name, nor where her parents currently reside.

    You see, it's the natural male instinct to want to fight for a woman, to accept the challenge of potentially winning her over. On the other hand, a woman's deepest desires is to be fought for. Not just at the start, but until the end of time. Most men struggle with the temptation of sleeping with lots of women because that's his way of feeling as if he's conquered the woman. But just because he's conquered the woman through sex does not make him a man. A good man will continue to fight for the woman, regardless of her flaws or shortcomings. Just as she will do for him when there's love to be shared.

    You, on the other hand, have your priorities out of line. You feel as if you've conquered this woman, and the battle that you've won is not quite what you've anticipated. Unfortunately, your desire to continue to fight for this woman could very well begin to deteriorate because you're not man enough to accept the responsibilities of your actions. While she is probably hoping for a long term committment, you're too busy thinking with the wrong head.

    Man, I'm sorry this has to sound so harsh, but it needs to be said. She most likely wants a committed relationship, where you want enhanced pleasure. Don't allow your selfish desires to tamper with her heart. And whatever you do, please, for the love of all that is good, do NOT mention to her what you've told us.

    Good luck,
    Mavsluva

  24. #24
    Titleist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mavsluva
    Here's the problem: You're not a real man.

    Here's why: You desire manly activities, but you don't want to be a man about them. You wrote, "She seems to be getting more serious and I am not sure if I can get serious with her." Well brother, I've got a new alert for you. Having sex with a woman is pretty darn serious territory! I'm not a betting man, but I'd put money on the fact that you probably don't know this woman's middle name, nor where her parents currently reside.

    You see, it's the natural male instinct to want to fight for a woman, to accept the challenge of potentially winning her over. On the other hand, a woman's deepest desires is to be fought for. Not just at the start, but until the end of time. Most men struggle with the temptation of sleeping with lots of women because that's his way of feeling as if he's conquered the woman. But just because he's conquered the woman through sex does not make him a man. A good man will continue to fight for the woman, regardless of her flaws or shortcomings. Just as she will do for him when there's love to be shared.

    You, on the other hand, have your priorities out of line. You feel as if you've conquered this woman, and the battle that you've won is not quite what you've anticipated. Unfortunately, your desire to continue to fight for this woman could very well begin to deteriorate because you're not man enough to accept the responsibilities of your actions. While she is probably hoping for a long term committment, you're too busy thinking with the wrong head.

    Man, I'm sorry this has to sound so harsh, but it needs to be said. She most likely wants a committed relationship, where you want enhanced pleasure. Don't allow your selfish desires to tamper with her heart. And whatever you do, please, for the love of all that is good, do NOT mention to her what you've told us.

    Good luck,
    Mavsluva
    The man speaks!

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by mavsluva
    Here's the problem: You're not a real man.

    Here's why: You desire manly activities, but you don't want to be a man about them. You wrote, "She seems to be getting more serious and I am not sure if I can get serious with her." Well brother, I've got a new alert for you. Having sex with a woman is pretty darn serious territory! I'm not a betting man, but I'd put money on the fact that you probably don't know this woman's middle name, nor where her parents currently reside.

    You see, it's the natural male instinct to want to fight for a woman, to accept the challenge of potentially winning her over. On the other hand, a woman's deepest desires is to be fought for. Not just at the start, but until the end of time. Most men struggle with the temptation of sleeping with lots of women because that's his way of feeling as if he's conquered the woman. But just because he's conquered the woman through sex does not make him a man. A good man will continue to fight for the woman, regardless of her flaws or shortcomings. Just as she will do for him when there's love to be shared.

    You, on the other hand, have your priorities out of line. You feel as if you've conquered this woman, and the battle that you've won is not quite what you've anticipated. Unfortunately, your desire to continue to fight for this woman could very well begin to deteriorate because you're not man enough to accept the responsibilities of your actions. While she is probably hoping for a long term committment, you're too busy thinking with the wrong head.

    Man, I'm sorry this has to sound so harsh, but it needs to be said. She most likely wants a committed relationship, where you want enhanced pleasure. Don't allow your selfish desires to tamper with her heart. And whatever you do, please, for the love of all that is good, do NOT mention to her what you've told us.

    Good luck,
    Mavsluva
    i have to agree, after reading alot of these threads in the lounge (ie. would u let ur girlfriend bang another guy in a 4-some)ive realised that im quite old fashioned and look at sex and relationships in a very diff fashion than most these days.i guess im a prude, but thats ok with me. my relationship with my wife is second to none so ive missed out on nothing, peace!

  26. #26
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    I don't think that there is anything wrong with the way you feel. If you want to be with someone for rest of your life, man, you have absolutely every single right to have the girl the way that makes you happy, doesn't matter if it's the size of her boobs that make you unhappy, her personality or like in this case, lack of interest in giving a blowjob.
    Good luck man.

  27. #27
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    Mavs...dude I completely disagree with just about everything you wrote. The man wants his girl to give head. It's a pretty simple concept and not an out of the ordinary request. So if he was a real man, he'd be ok with that behavior and under no circumstances, for the love of god, should he ever bring up the subject that a girl he's going to marry had better give head once in a while?

    Having sex is serious business, huh? No kidding dude is a little disappointed, a girl that refuses to give head is like a cheeseburger with no cheese. When you order a cheeseburger, you expect cheese damnit. But the chick behind the counter is telling you...yeah I know you ordered a cheeseburger, but guess what? We don't have cheese here, never will. That stuff makes me want to throw up so it would be best for you to forget about cheese for as long as you live. Oh, and it would be soooo perfect for me if you order all your cheesburgers here for the rest of your adult life. We have some other bland tasting food here as well, but certainly no cheese.

    So the guy thinks for a minute and says to himself, wait a minute, didn't I pass like 30 good looking burger joints on the way over here. I'll bet most of them serve cheese. Oh, and then there was that asian restaurant and the Italian one and....ok, fvck your hamburger, lady!

    I know this story isn't in the bible or anything and maybe that's why it actually makes sense. With so many burger joints out there, find one that it'll let you have it your way.

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by ginkobulloba
    Mavs...dude I completely disagree with just about everything you wrote. The man wants his girl to give head. It's a pretty simple concept and not an out of the ordinary request. So if he was a real man, he'd be ok with that behavior and under no circumstances, for the love of god, should he ever bring up the subject that a girl he's going to marry had better give head once in a while?

    Having sex is serious business, huh? No kidding dude is a little disappointed, a girl that refuses to give head is like a cheeseburger with no cheese. When you order a cheeseburger, you expect cheese damnit. But the chick behind the counter is telling you...yeah I know you ordered a cheeseburger, but guess what? We don't have cheese here, never will. That stuff makes me want to throw up so it would be best for you to forget about cheese for as long as you live. Oh, and it would be soooo perfect for me if you order all your cheesburgers here for the rest of your adult life. We have some other bland tasting food here as well, but certainly no cheese.

    So the guy thinks for a minute and says to himself, wait a minute, didn't I pass like 30 good looking burger joints on the way over here. I'll bet most of them serve cheese. Oh, and then there was that asian restaurant and the Italian one and....ok, fvck your hamburger, lady!

    I know this story isn't in the bible or anything and maybe that's why it actually makes sense. With so many burger joints out there, find one that it'll let you have it your way.
    He wrote, ""She seems to be getting more serious and I am not sure if I can get serious with her."

    He's already serious w/her since they are having sexual relations. That's what he and most people don't realize. Now that he's starting to feel a tiny bit of pressure, he's having second thoughts, regardless of what the thought is.

    It just clearly illustrates his priorities. Ginko, I respect your opinion very much and I have nothing to say against it.

    Mavs

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by mavsluva

    He's already serious w/her since they are having sexual relations. That's what he and most people don't realize.
    Hmmm, you are totally right Mav. Only thing though, sexual relations these days are simply casual for most of the people. That's when the issues and "misunderstandings" begin to happen, when the guy thinks casual and the girl thinks serious.

  30. #30
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    ok....since when did a ****ING blow job get so damn serious...lighten up guys...he wants it she wont do it....pretty black and white here...Mavs i do agree with ya that sexual relations can make things serious in a hurry, but Uber is right serious to one is not always serious to another...

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by WEBB
    ok....since when did me giving everyone a ****ING blow job get so damn serious...lighten up guys...he wants it she wont do it....pretty black and white here...Mavs i do agree with ya that sexual relations can make things serious in a hurry, but Uber is right serious to one is not always serious to another...
    Gotta watch out for this guy.

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Titleist
    Gotta watch out for this guy.

    what happened to your avy bro....HAHAHAHHAA

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by WEBB
    what happened to your avy bro....HAHAHAHHAA
    Take a wild fucking guess. I've had my avy removed twice. I'm trying to find something more 'suitable' for our upstanding board members.

  34. #34
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    Mavs, I respect your opinion as well. If everyone agreed on everything then it would be one bland world. Kinda like a hamburger with no cheese.

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by mavsluva
    Here's the problem: You're not a real man.

    Here's why: You desire manly activities, but you don't want to be a man about them. You wrote, "She seems to be getting more serious and I am not sure if I can get serious with her." Well brother, I've got a new alert for you. Having sex with a woman is pretty darn serious territory! I'm not a betting man, but I'd put money on the fact that you probably don't know this woman's middle name, nor where her parents currently reside.

    You see, it's the natural male instinct to want to fight for a woman, to accept the challenge of potentially winning her over. On the other hand, a woman's deepest desires is to be fought for. Not just at the start, but until the end of time. Most men struggle with the temptation of sleeping with lots of women because that's his way of feeling as if he's conquered the woman. But just because he's conquered the woman through sex does not make him a man. A good man will continue to fight for the woman, regardless of her flaws or shortcomings. Just as she will do for him when there's love to be shared.

    You, on the other hand, have your priorities out of line. You feel as if you've conquered this woman, and the battle that you've won is not quite what you've anticipated. Unfortunately, your desire to continue to fight for this woman could very well begin to deteriorate because you're not man enough to accept the responsibilities of your actions. While she is probably hoping for a long term committment, you're too busy thinking with the wrong head.



    Good luck,
    Mavsluva
    Mav, you must be a millionaire to have such a gift that you can know what some one is feeling from 3 sentences written over the internet.
    And I would love to take that bet about her middle name and her parents. Because you would lose. FYI I have a great active relationship with both her parents. AND YOU HAVE A LOT OF NERVE TO MAKE SUCH ASSUMPTIONS WHEN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHO I AM.

    As far as your opinion on being a "good man" then you must be married to the one and only woman you ever had sex with. That is if you practice what you preach "a good man will continue to fight for the woman, regardless of her flaws or shortcomings".

    As far as "having sex with a woman is pretty darn serious territory! Whats so serious about it. Two consenting adults in their 30s want to have sex. I don't see anything wrong about it.

    As far as getting more serious we are in a committed long term relationship, practically living together. But she is starting to think marriage and I am not going down that road enless I am sure she is the one I can stay with for the rest of my life.

    so Mav you are welcome to have your opinions, but you might want to get down off your moral high horse and find out some facts before passing judgement on people.

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by ginkobulloba
    Mavs...dude I completely disagree with just about everything you wrote. The man wants his girl to give head. It's a pretty simple concept and not an out of the ordinary request. So if he was a real man, he'd be ok with that behavior and under no circumstances, for the love of god, should he ever bring up the subject that a girl he's going to marry had better give head once in a while?

    Having sex is serious business, huh? No kidding dude is a little disappointed, a girl that refuses to give head is like a cheeseburger with no cheese. When you order a cheeseburger, you expect cheese damnit. But the chick behind the counter is telling you...yeah I know you ordered a cheeseburger, but guess what? We don't have cheese here, never will. That stuff makes me want to throw up so it would be best for you to forget about cheese for as long as you live. Oh, and it would be soooo perfect for me if you order all your cheesburgers here for the rest of your adult life. We have some other bland tasting food here as well, but certainly no cheese.

    So the guy thinks for a minute and says to himself, wait a minute, didn't I pass like 30 good looking burger joints on the way over here. I'll bet most of them serve cheese. Oh, and then there was that asian restaurant and the Italian one and....ok, fvck your hamburger, lady!

    I know this story isn't in the bible or anything and maybe that's why it actually makes sense. With so many burger joints out there, find one that it'll let you have it your way.
    Dr Phil LIVES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by mavsluva
    Here's the problem: You're not a real man.

    Here's why: You desire manly activities, but you don't want to be a man about them. You wrote, "She seems to be getting more serious and I am not sure if I can get serious with her." Well brother, I've got a new alert for you. Having sex with a woman is pretty darn serious territory! I'm not a betting man, but I'd put money on the fact that you probably don't know this woman's middle name, nor where her parents currently reside.

    You see, it's the natural male instinct to want to fight for a woman, to accept the challenge of potentially winning her over. On the other hand, a woman's deepest desires is to be fought for. Not just at the start, but until the end of time. Most men struggle with the temptation of sleeping with lots of women because that's his way of feeling as if he's conquered the woman. But just because he's conquered the woman through sex does not make him a man. A good man will continue to fight for the woman, regardless of her flaws or shortcomings. Just as she will do for him when there's love to be shared.

    You, on the other hand, have your priorities out of line. You feel as if you've conquered this woman, and the battle that you've won is not quite what you've anticipated. Unfortunately, your desire to continue to fight for this woman could very well begin to deteriorate because you're not man enough to accept the responsibilities of your actions. While she is probably hoping for a long term committment, you're too busy thinking with the wrong head.

    Man, I'm sorry this has to sound so harsh, but it needs to be said. She most likely wants a committed relationship, where you want enhanced pleasure. Don't allow your selfish desires to tamper with her heart. And whatever you do, please, for the love of all that is good, do NOT mention to her what you've told us.

    Good luck,
    Mavsluva


    Thank you doctor Phil

  38. #38
    mavsluva's Avatar
    mavsluva is offline "Gone but not forgotten" 10/11/07
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    Quote Originally Posted by fenceguy
    Mav, you must be a millionaire to have such a gift that you can know what some one is feeling from 3 sentences written over the internet.
    And I would love to take that bet about her middle name and her parents. Because you would lose. FYI I have a great active relationship with both her parents. AND YOU HAVE A LOT OF NERVE TO MAKE SUCH ASSUMPTIONS WHEN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHO I AM.

    As far as your opinion on being a "good man" then you must be married to the one and only woman you ever had sex with. That is if you practice what you preach "a good man will continue to fight for the woman, regardless of her flaws or shortcomings".

    As far as "having sex with a woman is pretty darn serious territory! Whats so serious about it. Two consenting adults in their 30s want to have sex. I don't see anything wrong about it.

    As far as getting more serious we are in a committed long term relationship, practically living together. But she is starting to think marriage and I am not going down that road enless I am sure she is the one I can stay with for the rest of my life.

    so Mav you are welcome to have your opinions, but you might want to get down off your moral high horse and find out some facts before passing judgement on people.
    I built my hypothesis based upon the information that you gave to me in your intial post. Given the added information above, I'll stick to my guns. If you're having sexual relations with this woman and you're also practically living together, then you are sending her the "lets be together forever" message.

    No where in my initial post did I call you a bad person. Your post, however, illustrated a lot of common symptoms of guys wanting to be like men, but not accepting the responsibilities of being a man. No harm intended.

    I wish you both the very best of luck!

    Mavs

  39. #39
    NotSmall is offline English Rudeboy
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    Quote Originally Posted by mavsluva
    I built my hypothesis based upon the information that you gave to me in your intial post. Given the added information above, I'll stick to my guns. If you're having sexual relations with this woman and you're also practically living together, then you are sending her the "lets be together forever" message.

    No where in my initial post did I call you a bad person. Your post, however, illustrated a lot of common symptoms of guys wanting to be like men, but not accepting the responsibilities of being a man. No harm intended.

    I wish you both the very best of luck!

    Mavs
    Your opening statement was that he was not "a real man".

    You really do need to climb down off your high horse my man.

  40. #40
    fenceguy's Avatar
    fenceguy is offline Associate Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mavsluva
    I built my hypothesis based upon the information that you gave to me in your intial post. Given the added information above, I'll stick to my guns. If you're having sexual relations with this woman and you're also practically living together, then you are sending her the "lets be together forever" message.

    No where in my initial post did I call you a bad person. Your post, however, illustrated a lot of common symptoms of guys wanting to be like men, but not accepting the responsibilities of being a man. No harm intended.

    I wish you both the very best of luck!

    Mavs
    What responsibiltity of being a man am i not fulfilling?

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