advice on girlfriend

**skinnyhb** · 09-11-2002, 10:25 PM

first off, i wanted to say hello, i have been hangin around these boards for a while and love this board, no flames and minimal ignorant people. i hope to be around for a while and learn a lot in the process.

anyways, i wanted to seek your advice, seeing as most of you guys are older than me (i am 17). 3 weeks ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 months (the longest for both of us). basically because i was getting a little used to her, although, i still loved her, and started to wonder what else was out there. the wondering what was out there was because of the fact that she made me feel like she didn't deserve me and i was better than her. as shallow as that seems, she always told me that from day one, so i kinda started to believe it. plus, i hadn't hung out with my friends in a very long time. she was very sad. at first, the single life was pretty fun, but it got boring and sometimes lonely without someone. her and i began to talk again after about a week, and things were going well. then we started to talk about our relationship, and what we did wrong. soon we were having 4 hour conversations again and hanging out like we were when we first met, and my feelings for her seemed renewed. but my desire to be single never really left me, and she knew that. then we went to a party, and we both knew each other were going to be there. the night went pretty well, but we were at someones house that we frequented when we were together and it felt strange not to go up and touch her when i wanted. things came to a head when i saw her and another guy together head off into another room. i felt extreme jealousy and a wanting her to be mine again. i talked to her later that night, and she didn't hook up with the guy because it felt to weird and she still had feelings for me. we started to talk and things got on to us and how we still felt about each other. but i still wanted to be single (i think), and she knew that. so now, she is telling me that she doesn't even want to talk to me anymore because it makes things too hard. we go to the same school, so we see each other all the time still. but i can't stand not talking to her, it makes me very sad. well, i have just opened up to a bunch of strangers, but hopefully you guys can give me suggestions and input and not just immature blabber like the guys one bodybuilding.com

thanks,
kenny

**arthurb999** · 09-11-2002, 10:33 PM

hmmm... well I've been there. It's tough. Honestly, you're young. There is no need to settle down yet. Are you planning on going to college? Stay single, hook up with as many chicks as you can this year (assuming your in HS still)... that will be good practice for college.

Trust me

**Ryanhallmark** · 09-11-2002, 10:55 PM

Hmmm.. As well when it comes to chicks I dont know if anyone knows, (except Papa) I dont know what you are really asking, but i can tell you that if you dont want to date her, the easyest way is not talking to her. Hell what am I talking about I just "took a break" from my girl tonight...

**Tapout** · 09-11-2002, 10:55 PM

welcome bro
i am dealing with the same shit from my good friend and trying to give him advice--so i'll give you some
i'm 35 and finally happly married to a beautiful girl who gave me a great little boy. she loves football(go raiders) the beach,weight training and could do fitness shows. she has a good job and keeps a very clean house(even though she makes me help) she is a very devoted wife and mother,very trust worthy and family oriented.shes great in bed(best i've had)and very good morals.
we met in 94 when i was 26 yo--how i got her i dont know but i wanted no relationship and we almost split up because i would not commit. finally i realized i had to shit or get off the pot and i would lose my dream girl. so i commited and you know the rest
what does this mean for you?
i dated countless girls before i found the right one and i found her when i was not looking. i went through split ups and heart aches that i got over its part of love life, so at 17 you are young and the two of you are going to go through many hormonel changes. when you two turn 21 a whole nother set of changes occur--i can go to bars
to sum it up the grass is not always greener on the other side. if you feel this is the "right girl or girl of your dreams" then get back with her and quit wanting something different.dont worry so much about friends as your girl should be your best friend. yes keep friends but remember they have lives too and when they find the right one they are gone. i was very popular in high school and new everybody and i have only 1 friend from my high school days and he went to a different school--so dont mess a thing up with your girl to hang with friends or go out and get diseases but if shes not the right one for you then get over her and dont go back,and one day miss right will come in
the best advice i can give is this(and i do this with any major decission in life)take a piece of paper and on one side write pros and on the other side write cons. list all the good points and bad points of the relationship,of her and of what you want and what ever side outweighs the other then theres your decision

**Big Rush** · 09-11-2002, 11:02 PM

Originally posted by Tapout
welcome bro
i am dealing with the same shit from my good friend and trying to give him advice--so i'll give you some
i'm 35 and finally happly married to a beautiful girl who gave me a great little boy. she loves football(go raiders) the beach,weight training and could do fitness shows. she has a good job and keeps a very clean house(even though she makes me help) she is a very devoted wife and mother,very trust worthy and family oriented.shes great in bed(best i've had)and very good morals.
we met in 94 when i was 26 yo--how i got her i dont know but i wanted no relationship and we almost split up because i would not commit. finally i realized i had to shit or get off the pot and i would lose my dream girl. so i commited and you know the rest
what does this mean for you?
i dated countless girls before i found the right one and i found her when i was not looking. i went through split ups and heart aches that i got over its part of love life, so at 17 you are young and the two of you are going to go through many hormonel changes. when you two turn 21 a whole nother set of changes occur--i can go to bars
to sum it up the grass is not always greener on the other side. if you feel this is the "right girl or girl of your dreams" then get back with her and quit wanting something different.dont worry so much about friends as your girl should be your best friend. yes keep friends but remember they have lives too and when they find the right one they are gone. i was very popular in high school and new everybody and i have only 1 friend from my high school days and he went to a different school--so dont mess a thing up with your girl to hang with friends or go out and get diseases but if shes not the right one for you then get over her and dont go back,and one day miss right will come in
the best advice i can give is this(and i do this with any major decission in life)take a piece of paper and on one side write pros and on the other side write cons. list all the good points and bad points of the relationship,of her and of what you want and what ever side outweighs the other then theres your decision

good advice bro...

Kenny, pm partyboyNYC, he'll tell ya what to do

**tt333** · 09-11-2002, 11:09 PM

Man your 17yrs, old stay single. ALot of girls out there and your way too young to be all caught up with one girl. I dated my girlfriend now my wife since I was in 10th grade. Im glad I married her but when I look back at it I should of dated other girls too. I lost all my friends because I was always with her. They eventually got over and now were still friends. Just enjoy life and still being a kid because after high school you have to go out in the real world, and the real world sucks.

**Grocho** · 09-11-2002, 11:20 PM

Bro, Every one has been there. And we all know that it sucks. And i am not going to give you the " there are plenty of fish in the see" cause i understand for some people there can be just too many damn fishermen. As Arthurb said, when you get to college you will have any girl you want. College freaking rocks when it comes to girls. I am there now. Hope it works out and welcome to AR.

**Hardballw** · 09-12-2002, 01:16 AM

Bro you are 17 let me tell you how it is going to play out. YOu are in HS so in 6 months you wont care and I bet not even remember. A new girl is going to come along and play with your dick she will tell you she likes you and you will hook up for a little bit then do it all over again. BUt guess what? Thats all good! WHo cares I know you liked her and if you really did love her the only advice that you will hear that will work is TIME! All you can do is give it time! But in the mean time get on as many ladies as you can and stay single. Or just go get your gf back. And by the way dont do AS to try to get her back if you were thinking about geting big to impress her. STill to young! Good luck bro!

**Billy Boy** · 09-12-2002, 10:13 AM

Follow your own instinct everyone so far has offered good advice.One thing I,ve learnt from life is that if you don't follow your instinct you will will always wonder "what if"

When you feel and think the r-ship is finished you will know I can't explain it you just know.

It really is your decision I have friends who met their wifes in primary school (5-11yrs) and have been with that one person all their life and have been happily married.

And follow HB advice no AAS!!

**clockworks** · 09-12-2002, 10:40 AM

welcome.

hehe, can't have your cake and eat it too...=P its gotta be one or the other...relationship or single. gotta decide and stop jerking her and yourself around...=) i know its really hard figuring out what you really want. do you >really< want to be with her or are those just jealous feelings when you see her with a another guy? do you >really< love her or do you just wanna control a possession? do you >really< miss her or are you just used to having her around all the time.

everytime i felt my gf slipping away, i always freaked out and started going out of my way to impress and please her. when things were stable between us, i was lackadasical and didn't put in much effort. signs that maybe we weren't right for each other.

sotta sort out your >true< feelings about her and make a decision...=)

-clocky baby

P.S. chose wisely...i direly miss the routine sex...=(

**buckeye44** · 09-12-2002, 12:32 PM

bro, as many others have said stay single. you are only 17 and i think you will be better off in the long run. especially when you go off to college or at least after you graduate high school. trust me, i was talking to a friend of mine a while ago and we both agreed that if we only knew then what we know now!! many others probably feel the same as i do. hang in there, and welcome to the board. go have the time of your life RIGHT NOW!!!!!

**Babyweight** · 09-12-2002, 01:38 PM

Just live it up sweetie...

You are way too young to even be bothering with this nonsense. All these guys have good points and basically what it all boils down to is to follow your gut instinct just like Billy Boy said.
That "What if" feeling sucks, but we've all been through it. And then we seem to take it out on the person we end up sticking with. Don't become complacent. That is not what love is all about.
Please remember this is JMO. I really feel for you and you obviously must have some sort of feelings or you would'nt be asking. But just makesure which feelings these are... as "clockworks" mentioned.

They will come and they will go. And as harsh as it may sound, The odds are against you that this will be the woman you'll be spending the rest of your life with. But then again you never know..

Thats your decision.

Remember...Life is precious... Peace

Babyweight