Your significant other

**DSM4Life** · 03-19-2008, 05:48 PM

Are they required to be like you for the relationship to work ?

Say you are a very out going person. Love to party get crazy and have a great time. Now you meet someone but they are the total opposite. They always like to chill and hang home or in small groups. Now the laid back person has no problem coming out when you invite him. You might have to pull on his leg a little bit to get him to come but he will come with you. You know he doesn't really enjoy getting crazy but he will go with you just because he knows you like it and wants you to have a good time.

So in being opposites could it still work ?

**soccer#3** · 03-19-2008, 05:51 PM

im not too much for relationships but i've found it best when ur not too alike and not too different. i dunno if that helps or not haha

**Amorphic** · 03-19-2008, 05:59 PM

everyone says opposites attract, i dont believe it though.

well, they do attract initially. i am an introvert and all of my girlfriends have been extroverts. usually the way it works is that the introvert gets their excitement from the social aspects of the extrovert.

the extrovert gets their satisfaction from the dependability and self awareness of the introvert.

initially the two seem to fill in the gaps of the others personality, but eventually, ive found it always results in conflict.

**dirtball_619** · 03-19-2008, 06:19 PM

holy shit DSM im in the same deal as you. except streight lol.

i did the party thing, kind of got played out so now i like to chill with a smaller group of friends and what not. but she liked to go out to parties every weekend.

i go out with her whenever she goes out to party(she wont go out now unless im with her). so now we pretty much trade weekend.

2 weekends of the month we go out and party, drink, dance, etc... drunken sex is always good, then 2 weekends of the month we go out during the day and do things, chill with family, cuddle up on the couch and watch movies and end up banging at the end of each one. sober sex is better IMO.

we've both learned that in moderation both are excellent. getting a good balance is key. it keeps you both happy. hope this helps dude

**DSM4Life** · 03-19-2008, 07:13 PM

Originally Posted by dirtball_619

holy shit DSM im in the same deal as you. except streight lol.

i did the party thing, kind of got played out so now i like to chill with a smaller group of friends and what not. but she liked to go out to parties every weekend.

i go out with her whenever she goes out to party(she wont go out now unless im with her). so now we pretty much trade weekend.

2 weekends of the month we go out and party, drink, dance, etc... drunken sex is always good, then 2 weekends of the month we go out during the day and do things, chill with family, cuddle up on the couch and watch movies and end up banging at the end of each one. sober sex is better IMO.

we've both learned that in moderation both are excellent. getting a good balance is key. it keeps you both happy. hope this helps dude

Thank to all so far.

It does help knowing others are in the same boat. I also like how you have had a positive outcome on the situation thus far since most do not.

**dirtball_619** · 03-19-2008, 07:33 PM

no problem bro, but believe me this didnt all just happen right away.

there was conflict at first with her saying i was too introverted and dull wanting to just chill out. and me saying she needs to chill the fvck out or all that partying will catch up with her physically (alcohol).

but i learned its mentally healthy to get out and meet new people and just let loose once in awhile, and she learned that she really enjoys having a quiet night in and doing stuff during the day without having a hang over.

**DSM4Life** · 03-19-2008, 07:48 PM

Originally Posted by dirtball_619

no problem bro, but believe me this didnt all just happen right away.

there was conflict at first with her saying i was too introverted and dull wanting to just chill out. and me saying she needs to chill the fvck out or all that partying will catch up with her physically (alcohol).

but i learned its mentally healthy to get out and meet new people and just let loose once in awhile, and she learned that she really enjoys having a quiet night in and doing stuff during the day without having a hang over.

I guess i am trying to force him to be like me. Always trying to get him out of the house and all. I think i need to take a step back and just explain that i want him to come out with me some weekends and on the others i chill with him (like you do).

People keep telling me that , "I don't know how you date him since he is nothing like you." And its starting to drive me crazy. If i dated myself i would jump off a cliff. I don't know the hell he deals with me sometimes (i can be a handfull).

...oven just went off, time to get da chicken out.

**novastepp** · 03-19-2008, 09:44 PM

it's more about understanding and give and take. i don't know how long you've been together, but usually you pull traits from one another and that is what makes you a great couple instead of just being together. i used to be the whole outgoing crazy guy who women loved. now... i really enjoy the house parties, and yeah we'll tear up up together at times. but i'm a new guy who doesn't mind chilling, who the women still love btw.

**Pooks** · 03-20-2008, 12:59 AM

yup its all about how u click..

They should be like you in some way or another i feel for it to work..
some people on the same emotional level.. others on the same phsyical level,, than others on some intellectual level...

u could get along great with all 3 of them, cause they're very much like u and u get along..

but the best one, would probbably be, where u have the most personal needs at.. if u're some intelligence hungry person, than go with the celebral ****fest n it is still great sex when u get down to it..

or if u need emotional shit.. go with chicks or guys that are on the same emotional level.. n **** em too

**** em all

***El Diablo*** · 03-20-2008, 01:01 AM

Originally Posted by novastepp

it's more about understanding and give and take. i don't know how long you've been together, but usually you pull traits from one another and that is what makes you a great couple instead of just being together. i used to be the whole outgoing crazy guy who women loved. now... i really enjoy the house parties, and yeah we'll tear up up together at times. but i'm a new guy who doesn't mind chilling, who the women still love btw.

Novastepp said it all. Just give and take..... and understanding....thats has easy has that, dont try and make it complicating.... Just keep it simple and listen to when ur partner is talking....

Peace!

**J-Dogg** · 03-20-2008, 07:59 AM

Give and take works but in my experince it ended up bad.

Most of the time, it's hard to give but easy to take. I've look at it now, I can't make anyone change, and it's wrong of me to ask them to change. If you are what you are, if you cannot accept that....what's the point?

My Ex really liked to go out and drink. I'm a career driven person and the last thing I needd is a few of my customers seeing me wasted at the bar.

Birds of a feather flock together, it's true. You want to be a millionair? Hang around them and mimic them, you will naturally. Want to be a sloppy drunk? Hang out with sloppy drunks.

Some things you can work though, but to make things work, I think you need to have a semi similar lifesytle and life plan. There are billions of other people just like you in this pond.