Yay or Nay?

**J-Dogg** · 07-27-2008, 06:47 AM

In short, friend married to a girl I don't even like.

I start to bang on her friend, she tells me my boys wife likes another guy, thinks he's cute yada yada.

Normally, not a big deal. She is best "friends" with this guy (who is ugly as sin) and is with him 5 out of 7 days. Its normal for her to meet him after work for a drink or 2.

Her friend told me he got her flowers for V-Day and she had to hide them from my boy. So when he saw the flowers in the car, she said they were my girls from a guy.

The girl I was seeing, kind of hinted that the 2 of them have done "things". The wife gets super jelouse and upset if her "best friend" talks to another girl. In fact, she almost got in a fight with the girl I was seeing for dancing with her "friend".

Now my boy, super calm dude, not 1 bit jelous and seems to have the blinders up. He has so much going for him, inheriting a very good business, taking over it now. I'd hate to see the family business get caught up in some divorice down the road as a result.

I've just stayed out of it for the last 4 months, just seems people have to learn things on their own. Am I suppose to drop hints to get his brain cycling? Or just wait until she pisses me off enough I just blow?

**QuieTSToRM33** · 07-27-2008, 06:55 AM

I say ... YAY.

**pump.joe** · 07-27-2008, 07:10 AM

I think he deserves to know.

**ausmanalot** · 07-27-2008, 07:29 AM

i would want to know

would you want to know if your girlfriend wife who ever is cheating on you or has feelings for someone else...

how ever he needs to be tactical....

my thoughts...

if he gets divorced make sure he gets everything some how...
then try work it out with this chick... if it goes bad his got everything...

i cant stand people that cheat fake or not honest

**Timm1704** · 07-27-2008, 07:55 AM

part of me would want alittle more solid proof, as, no offence to your girl, but, as she is a girl, her view of reality may be alittle warped lol

**ausmanalot** · 07-27-2008, 08:02 AM

thats very true

**J-Dogg** · 07-27-2008, 08:03 AM

I would want to know, if it were me but it's known the wife and me don't have a ton of love for each other (lots of fake smiles). Mostly because I don't text her back RIGHT AWAY when she text me.

I'm not seeing her friend anymore, but some how she has befriended a new girl I'm with. I thought of bringing it up with this new girl to see what information she knew.

I'm not just taking my Ex's word on this, I'm puting things behind it. His wife, and the guy are always together, they are both strait. It's normally only a matter of time before attraction builds, throw drinking into the mix. It's not somthing that my Ex would want me to know, but she brought it up when she was crying drunk.

He's just so humble I don't think he'd care. If anything I just think he'd be embarrassed cause I know so would distance himself from me.

**ausmanalot** · 07-27-2008, 08:09 AM

to me that is strange to not care..
how ever it would be embarrassing

i dunno ay man.....

some girls are way to good at hiding stuff

**TJM7275** · 07-27-2008, 08:22 AM

I sat you better get your ass in gear and talk to your boy. If he don't wanna here it get in his face. Woman are scandolous. If they just got married he can get that shit anolled. Be a friend dude.

**RANA** · 07-27-2008, 08:35 AM

Tell him soon

**RuhlFreak55** · 07-27-2008, 08:50 AM

this is a good reason why i have a large wall that i use to keep people out

**Nicotine** · 07-27-2008, 10:44 AM

tell him.

cuz if you know, then he finds out you knew and you didn't say shit - your friendship is OVA!

**J-Dogg** · 07-27-2008, 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by Nicotine

tell him.

cuz if you know, then he finds out you knew and you didn't say shit - your friendship is OVA!

Ya, but in the same thought process, if I tell him, he chooses not to care, not to leave, or not to address it, he might just put distance between us out of embarassment.

If I told him after he found out, that my ex "told" me that but I was not sure, I don't think he would be mad at me.

I'm not worried about after he knows for sure, but I just want him to be aware for the most part.

It's a pain because I just don't like her anyway, I've not told him but he has to sense it.

**Timm1704** · 07-27-2008, 11:34 AM

unfortunately mate its a shit situation to be in. You may be damned if you do and your damned if you dont.

I wish you the best of luck

**N*E*R*D** · 07-27-2008, 11:36 AM

Tell him to get a private detective get real proof incase it comes to court, if he does file for divorce id tell him to put everything he owns i.e house/business/car/everything into someone elses name like his mother or some close family member, so when the divorce comes he has nothing to give half of, all she will win is half of nothing.

**wilson9d** · 07-27-2008, 09:35 PM

tell him. and maker sure the business gets put into a trust before he take it over. his family should be able to set it up so she doesnt get a big part if the assets.

**wilson9d** · 07-27-2008, 09:39 PM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

Ya, but in the same thought process, if I tell him, he chooses not to care, not to leave, or not to address it, he might just put distance between us out of embarassment.

If I told him after he found out, that my ex "told" me that but I was not sure, I don't think he would be mad at me.

I'm not worried about after he knows for sure, but I just want him to be aware for the most part.

It's a pain because I just don't like her anyway, I've not told him but he has to sense it.

there are bigger issues here besides "you dont like her" and "you dont think he would be mad if he finds out down the road you knew." your playing games with his family's money. do you think some cheeting bitch should get half of the money your boys family built?

**Tock** · 07-27-2008, 09:43 PM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

In short, friend married to a girl I don't even like.

I start to bang on her friend, she tells me my boys wife likes another guy, thinks he's cute yada yada.

Sounds like heresay evidence to me. This is the sort of thing I'd verify for myself before giving any consideration to getting involved. And then, I'd ask myself if I shouldn't trust my friend to figure out what's going on for himself, and if I shouldn't just mind my own business.

**calgarian** · 07-28-2008, 07:51 AM

its a Yay. I would beat the crap out of that "friend" but again its just me.

**VeraDeMilo** · 07-28-2008, 08:01 AM

Definately gotta tell him. I feel that as a friend you are obligated to tell him. Also, I would absolutely want to know if my girl was like this behind my back. Especially if one of my boys knew.

**thecivilizedanimal** · 07-28-2008, 09:48 AM

tell your bro

fvck a ho !
real talk !

**DSM4Life** · 07-28-2008, 04:54 PM

**BIG-N-Brazil** · 07-28-2008, 05:14 PM

Bros before Hoes....I would want you to tell me no dout...

**numbat** · 07-28-2008, 05:33 PM

Yay!

**Skully44420** · 07-28-2008, 06:03 PM

i'd say tell him..or atleast hint to him about it...i know i would want my friends to tell me...and i've actually h ad that happen and ended up telling the so called friend to fvck off

**Stock** · 07-28-2008, 06:19 PM

Here is the problem you have, and this comes from experience...

1. Something is going on and you tell him. If they break up, you are going to be the reason, and it wont ever be the same. If they dont break up and "make up", you are the a$$hole that started everything. Even if he stell wants to be your friend, as long as she is with him it wont happen.

2. Nothing is going on and you tell him you think there is. It could break them up and you will be the cause. He might not ever trust you as a friend again.

IMO, what you should do is send an anomonous letter laying everything out. He will more than likely ask you about it. When that happens, help him bust the slut. You will be the one to show your bud without getting in a tug of war w/ his girl. Then if you find out the real deal and she was cheating, after about a year or two, you can tell him if you want to.

OR you could just call that "CHEATERS" show and have her busted that way.

**rockinred** · 07-28-2008, 06:54 PM

Be a man and tell your friend.... actually if you don't tell him then you are not his friend just an aquaintence of each other. There is no doubt I would tell my friend. now if I found out my wife was cheating and my friend knew but didn't tell me, I might think about punching him out for it....

Look, here is some real advice....You tell your friend that you have to tell him something because you are friends and what you tell him you don't want it to get in the way of your friendship....then you tell him everything you know and act sincere that you really don't want to cause problems, but since you would expect the same in return you have to say something. If he is upset with you then I would just say "hey why are you acting that way, I am looking out for you, would you rather me not say something important as this".....

**james21** · 07-28-2008, 06:59 PM

I would tell him...

BUT. yeah you have to think about this, if he does bring it up to his wife, then its gonna pit you against her even more. One of your will end up loosing, and the way you describe him probably you

**J-Dogg** · 07-28-2008, 08:17 PM

Gah, it gets harder to decide every day. told a close friend of the 2 of us today, he did not offer much feed back. I just have a feeling he would make up with her, work things out and that would be it between us.

I'm just going to start droping hints for now and see where that goes. The damage is already done, the business won't transfer over for about a year. I thought about talking to his parents about it to protect the business, but I just really feel like I'd be out stepping my boundries. I already have a reputation of being a control freak or being "perfect" or thinking I am anyway.

**abstrack** · 07-28-2008, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by BIG-N-Brazil

Bros before Hoes....I would want you to tell me no dout...

Ditto....BROS before HOES!!

**wilson9d** · 07-28-2008, 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by Stock

Here is the problem you have, and this comes from experience...

1. Something is going on and you tell him. If they break up, you are going to be the reason, and it wont ever be the same. If they dont break up and "make up", you are the a$$hole that started everything. Even if he stell wants to be your friend, as long as she is with him it wont happen.

2. Nothing is going on and you tell him you think there is. It could break them up and you will be the cause. He might not ever trust you as a friend again.

IMO, what you should do is send an anomonous letter laying everything out. He will more than likely ask you about it. When that happens, help him bust the slut. You will be the one to show your bud without getting in a tug of war w/ his girl. Then if you find out the real deal and she was cheating, after about a year or two, you can tell him if you want to.

OR you could just call that "CHEATERS" show and have her busted that way.

it doesnt matter if it effects your freindship its the right thing to do. sometimes doing the right thing has consequences.

**Bryan2** · 07-28-2008, 10:22 PM

Honestly man in all seriousness I would just tell him to read this whole thread.

Might be the easiest way to go about it as well

Just get him to a computer and log in here dont tell him what its about just tell him to read yours and everyone elses comments on here because they all have relevence

Youve already expressed all of your concerns in this that would ever need to be spoken and he can take what he needs off of the info that you have written and go about what he needs to go about himself

**FallenWyvern** · 07-28-2008, 11:07 PM

Originally Posted by Bryan2

Honestly man in all seriousness I would just tell him to read this whole thread.

Might be the easiest way to go about it as well

Just get him to a computer and log in here dont tell him what its about just tell him to read yours and everyone elses comments on here because they all have relevence

Youve already expressed all of your concerns in this that would ever need to be spoken and he can take what he needs off of the info that you have written and go about what he needs to go about himself

That's what I would do....