need help breaking up with a girl.. advice

**MR_T** · 09-01-2008, 08:38 AM

I'll keep this short, i've been hooking up with this girl since new years eve and things have been good. Lately shes been very attached and I have decided that the relationship isn't working. I really like her but im premed working full time and just dont have the time or energy for her. I want us to stay good friends, shes a lot of fun and I like that we can have serious conversations or just goof around. Anyway I really suck at breakups, I've had two girls that tried to run me over with their car before lol I thought I would be honest and just tell her how i feel but that hasn't really got me anywhere in the past. Anybody have any advice for me? I wish i was one of those guys that didnt give a shit but im a nice guy and id really like us to get along after... oh we work together (same company/building but different departments) so i dont want it to be awkward

**Kale** · 09-01-2008, 08:42 AM

Invite her over, leave the door open and be on the bed naked with a Dildo up your ass, that should take care of it ! Failing that you could try this approach http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5L35i9JrYs

**abstrack** · 09-01-2008, 08:53 AM

I have decided that the relationship isn't working. I really like her but im premed working full time and just dont have the time or energy for her. I want us to stay good friends, shes a lot of fun and I like that we can have serious conversations or just goof around.

Tell her just what you said, but the truth is always the best answer in these situations. Also hand her a restraining order at the same time, LOL.

**DSM4Life** · 09-01-2008, 09:43 AM

Communication is key. If she has deep feelings for you don't expect to be friends afterwards. Its very difficult for someone to be able to separate their loving feelings and continue on as just friends.

**KatsMeow** · 09-01-2008, 10:40 AM

The problem you are facing is that your rational about not having time and energy for her isn't really a good reason to break off something that has been going on since New Years Eve, I don't know what pretense you guys got together under, whether it was just a hook up or not but having a relationship with someone for that long and then just deciding that you don't have the energy to waste on her is kind of going to set you up for possibly another attempt of running you over.

She isn't going to understand because the way she is going to see it, is that after that amount of time she shouldn't just be disposable and that you should have some feelings for her.

I agree with DSM that you should be prepared to lose her as a friend as well because she isn't going to be able to separate the stronger feelings that she has already acquired for you. And she will always have a sense of hope that you will wake up and realize that you need to be with her and you made a stupid mistake.

Is it an option to just back off on how often you guys are hanging out or seeing each other, or do you want to keep your options open? Do you not see this being a long term relationship?

**gst528i** · 09-01-2008, 12:48 PM

Why not find a way for her to break up with you. Do things she finds repulsive in her IDEAL MAN.
That way she can't run you over for you guys separating.
If you do choose to break up with her, than find a venue that doesn't have cars near the scene or make sure there's more than one exit available.

In any case good luck on your pre-med.

**DSM4Life** · 09-01-2008, 12:49 PM

Just send her a text message.

**testigator** · 09-01-2008, 01:17 PM

This is hard because you want your both. You still want her around but don't want the inconvenience of a Long term. I get it...I'm a dude. I always had a hard time breaking up with women and I have done most of the above minus the dildo in the arse. I have tried doing things I think they will hate. I stop calling. I get caught with another chick. It all brings the same thing we men don't like...a crying screaming woman. I found a way to break up and get rid of them completely about 3 years ago..I TELL THE TRUTH. No matter how much the truth makes you look like a pig, jerk or whatever. Just do it right once and you should be fine but you need to be ruthless. I say "you aren't pretty enough for me to stay with you." I say "you don't dress the way my girl should dress." I say "you don't give me enough head." "I really want to have sex with other women." I just say whatever the real problem is and I don't ***** around with it. I say the truth and I don't give in. Do it. But first you may need to figure out the truth...a busy schedule would be fine if she were the ONE. Sounds like the ***** isn't making up for the hassle at this point...say that. Good luck and wear a helmut..it should be ugly. You can't do this as easy as WE ALL want.

**JiGGaMaN** · 09-01-2008, 03:29 PM

Just tell her you need more time to do whatever it is you are doing. Put the onus on her to break up with you, that way you dont have to hurt anyones feelings, plus if she goes with it its all good.

***ANABOLIC SUPERMAN*** · 09-01-2008, 03:31 PM

Lie.

**Bojangles69** · 09-01-2008, 03:53 PM

Honestly dude, just ignore her.
If she calls tell her your busy.
She'll cling even more, then WAIT for her to raise an arguement. At that point just say "this isn't working anymore". If she rambles on & on just hang up.
If she comes to your house, get a restraining order.

Fvck the baby shit.
Anytime you try to let a chick off easy they always lose their minds thinking your cheating, or hooked up with their friend. As a female, especially a clingy one, chances are she'll go crazier if you *drag out* the break up.

At some point you need to assertively say: "bitch, be gone".
Cut if off quick. Yeh its cold, but its always better then dragging things out.

**J-Dogg** · 09-01-2008, 03:57 PM

Originally Posted by KatsMeow

The problem you are facing is that your rational about not having time and energy for her isn't really a good reason to break off something that has been going on since New Years Eve, I don't know what pretense you guys got together under, whether it was just a hook up or not but having a relationship with someone for that long and then just deciding that you don't have the energy to waste on her is kind of going to set you up for possibly another attempt of running you over.

She isn't going to understand because the way she is going to see it, is that after that amount of time she shouldn't just be disposable and that you should have some feelings for her.

I agree with DSM that you should be prepared to lose her as a friend as well because she isn't going to be able to separate the stronger feelings that she has already acquired for you. And she will always have a sense of hope that you will wake up and realize that you need to be with her and you made a stupid mistake.

Is it an option to just back off on how often you guys are hanging out or seeing each other, or do you want to keep your options open? Do you not see this being a long term relationship?

What she said.

I never thought of it like that, but if you like the girl and get along with her, things are fine....don't you think she would be understanding if you could not give her more time?

I think she'll try to run you over if you tell her you don't want to see her because she is not as important as the rest of the things that take up your time.

**Bojangles69** · 09-01-2008, 04:02 PM

With women, you can never leave any doubt or denial in their mind about what is happening.
THIS is what actually makes it easier in the long run.
If you aren't interested her anymore, and want her out of your life, don't give her little threads of hope to hang on to.

No matter how you break up, it will either be REAL hard in the begining, then easy a lot sooner. Or just kinda hard in the begining, then hard in the middle, hard at the end, untill she convinces herself out of her own denial.

Do her that favor now, save her time, and don't beat around the bush with anything your thinking or feeling about now, and about the future.

**bigt10** · 09-01-2008, 04:10 PM

haha just tell her you want to be hay now.

Otherwise well i dont know, just stop being so good to her, less time, more time at gym, go out a few nights to the club etc.

Basically let her breakup haha.

I would just start to slowly pull out then wait for her to complain, as soon as she starts to hate the way you are acting here is where you pop in the , " honey maybe this just wont work anymore or we weren't meant to be."

Then if she gets mad you tell her she was the the one that brought out the guns and started fighting :P

**Nitro29** · 09-01-2008, 04:16 PM

Originally Posted by bigt10

I would just start to slowly pull out then wait for her to complain, as soon as she starts to hate the way you are acting here is where you pop in the , " honey maybe this just wont work anymore or we weren't meant to be."

Then if she gets mad you tell her she was the the one that brought out the guns and started fighting :P

This is what I have generally done. Sabotage my own relationship, sometimes I dont even know why I am doing it, and it seems so slimy. But its effective. I think I have a fear of commtiment, maybe you do too

**Bojangles69** · 09-01-2008, 04:24 PM

Tell her you think your gay. Have DSM over for a day. Problem solved.

**Bojangles69** · 09-01-2008, 04:24 PM

Start talking about her dads sexy butt.

**Bojangles69** · 09-01-2008, 04:25 PM

Next time you're having sex scream out "oh Bob.. shit i mean.."

**Bojangles69** · 09-01-2008, 04:26 PM

Tell her she doesn't have enough muscles for you.

**Bojangles69** · 09-01-2008, 04:28 PM

Accidentally fall asleep with her bra & panties on right before she comes home from work.

Apologize then following week ask her if your butt looks too big.

**Bojangles69** · 09-01-2008, 04:30 PM

Anytime your watching tv together and a good looking guy comes on, start grabbing her butt but dont look at her face.

**Bojangles69** · 09-01-2008, 04:31 PM

Ok thats my whoring for this thread. Just do something lol

edit: encase it goes bad videotape it so we can tell you what you did wrong.

**one8nine** · 09-01-2008, 04:47 PM

tell her youre gay

**one8nine** · 09-01-2008, 04:48 PM

why cant you be like...
im premed im busy back off my shit youre getting clingy i hope you understand

**BadBarbie** · 09-01-2008, 04:50 PM

Fake your death

**Nitro29** · 09-01-2008, 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by one8nine

why cant you be like...
im premed im busy back off my shit youre getting clingy i hope you understand

One of the last girls I dated broke things off, because like I said, I sabotage my realtionships. She posted on her myspace page it was because "He's just not that into me".

Damn I must have played a little too much hardball on this one, then I find out thats the name of a book (He's just not that into you) she read before breaking up. I told he I was gonna write a freakin book about her and name it "Clingy and Dingy"

Yes, she was a BLONDE!! lol

**BadBarbie** · 09-01-2008, 04:55 PM

Originally Posted by Nitro29

Yes, she was a BLONDE!! lol

Woah Woah Woah
Natural blonde over here.
You watch your mouth.

**Bojangles69** · 09-01-2008, 04:57 PM

yeh watch out for natural blondes,
that and any women with more than 2 cats.

Don't ask why,

**DeputyLoneWolf** · 09-01-2008, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by BadBarbie

Fake your death

LOL sounds good

**Nitro29** · 09-01-2008, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by BadBarbie

Woah Woah Woah
Natural blonde over here.
You watch your mouth.

My deepest apologies BadBarbie. I just had a bad experience with this one, hence my frustration. Obviously there are exceptions such as yourself

Have you ever heard of this book I speak of? For some reason I get the feeling its required reading for all females, and us guys (believe it or not) are clueless about it.

Once again, sorry about the generalizations and the rant...Nitro

**bigt10** · 09-01-2008, 05:41 PM

rofl omg i got the best idea.

Go pay some guy at the gym to sit naked on her bed walk into the room whenyou know youll be back from work and bust out some sex toys and hand cuffs dressed up in black leather.

Can you picture her face, OMG hunny! i should have told you we were gay......

We are so done and she leaves yay !

Its almost like something you would see in family guy.

**stallion_1** · 09-01-2008, 06:22 PM

did u at least bang her?

**Nitro29** · 09-01-2008, 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by Bojangles69

yeh watch out for natural blondes,
that and any women with more than 2 cats.

Don't ask why,

I see your 2 cats rule and raise you a 2 fru fru dog rule

**MR_T** · 09-01-2008, 08:32 PM

thanks for all the advice guys... Ive thought about and ya the sex is nowhere as good as it used to be. When we met, we used to have really good spontainous sex... u know in the office, at the park, i never thought id like sex in public, but it really was just the spontaneous nature of the whole thing. Idk this could actually work out if she wasnt done with school, all she has is a job now and i have work, school, gym it really sucks, still dont know what to do the truth usually bites me in the ass

**BadBarbie** · 09-01-2008, 08:37 PM

Originally Posted by Nitro29

My deepest apologies BadBarbie. I just had a bad experience with this one, hence my frustration. Obviously there are exceptions such as yourself

Have you ever heard of this book I speak of? For some reason I get the feeling its required reading for all females, and us guys (believe it or not) are clueless about it.

Once again, sorry about the generalizations and the rant...Nitro

Haha no I have never heard of the book, nor have I ever (or needed to read) a guide on relationships haha

I'm sorry for your blonde problems. I hope they get better =)

**Nitro29** · 09-01-2008, 08:59 PM

Originally Posted by BadBarbie

Haha no I have never heard of the book, nor have I ever (or needed to read) a guide on relationships haha

I'm sorry for your blonde problems. I hope they get better =)

Aww thanks