The Truth about Handycapped Parking Spots

[BritishColumbian]

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

[VeraDeMilo]

so.... what is the point of this thread?

[RuhlFreak55]

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

but i cheat into handicapped spots all the time and i'm not disabled

[zimmy]

oh dude...this is priceless!

[Dukkit]

*slight chuckle*

could of just posted this in the postwhore thread though. lol

[zimmy]

maybe he would have...but maybe chuck norris said if he didn't make a new thread he's make him handicap?

[BritishColumbian]

maybe he would have...but maybe chuck norris said if he didn't make a new thread he's make him handicap?

ya, thats the ticket...

[calgarian]

but i cheat into handicapped spots all the time and i'm not disabled

that works for mentally challenged too

[JiGGaMaN]

Man, I'm about to go on a vendetta against all this 'chuck norris this/that' people. Then I will ask 'Wheres chuck norris to save you now'? God help them if the response is another retarded chuck norris joke.

[IronReload04]

The supplement known to common folk as "Muscle Milk", is actually what comes out of Chuck Norris' nipple when he is lactating.

[Voice of Reason]

http://www.youtube.com/results?searc...s&search_type=

Chuck Norris's Reign Of Terror Is Over and Now Fedor's Has Begun.....

FEDOR FACTS

1 - Some kids piss their name in the snow. Fedor can piss his name into concrete
2 - Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Fedor can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants
3 - Fedor counted to infinity - twice
4 - Fedor once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands
5 - Fedor's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Fedor
6 - Fedor can speak braille
7 - Fedor's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried
8 - Fedor was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds
9 - Fedor died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him
10 - Fedor puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
11 - Superman owns a pair of Fedor pajamas
12 - Fedor can slam revolving doors
13 - Fedor sleeps with a night light. Not because Fedor is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Fedor
14 - Once a cobra bit Fedor' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died
15 - Fedor was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
16 - Fedor does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Fedor goes killing
17 - Fedor divides by zero
18 - Fedor's wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time to kick ass."
19 - When Fedor gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live
20 - Fedor is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Fedor
21 - Giraffes were created when Fedor uppercutted a horse
22 - When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Fedor
23 - Fedor' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Fedor will not take crap from anyone
24 - Fedor has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants
25 - Fedor is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face
26 - When Fedor exercises, the machine gets stronger
27 - Fedor doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
28 - Fedor can build a snowman out of rain
29 - Fedor once had a heart attack; his heart lost
30 - Fedor plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins
31 - Fedor can kill two stones with one bird
32 - M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Fedor can touch this
33 - Fedor once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff
34 - The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Fedor didn't kill you in your sleep
35 - Fedor once punched a man in the soul
36 - Fedor did that to Michael Jackson's face
37 - The chief export of Fedor is pain
38 - The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Fedor. This amuses Fedor because he is bulletproof
39 - Fedor can tie his shoes with his feet
40 - Fedor once finished "The Song that Never Ends"
41 - The quickest way to a man's heart is with Fedor's fist
42 - It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Fedor can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box
43 - The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Fedor is
44 - We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Fedor doesn't believe in magic
45 - Fedor can drown a fish
46 - When Fedor enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
47 - Fedor can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who Fedor is
48 - The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Fedor
49 - The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Fedor has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears
50 - Fedor was once the F.B.I's chief negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is Fedor."
51 - Fedor used to beat the crap out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him
52 - The only time Fedor was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake
53 - The last digit of pi is Fedor. He is the end of all things
54 - On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "Fedor was here."
55 - When Fedor breaks the law, the law doesn't heal
56 - A unicorn once kicked Fedor. That is why they no longer exist
57 - Bullets dodge Fedor
58 - Fedor once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

[Auss11e]

Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
Chuck Norris eats Bees!!

[Skully44420]

LOL, do you ever wonder how all this chuck norris stuff got started? think it was the man himself?

[FreeDOOM]

Man, I'm about to go on a vendetta against all this 'chuck norris this/that' people. Then I will ask 'Wheres chuck norris to save you now'? God help them if the response is another retarded chuck norris joke.

Dont you mean "Chuck Norris help them" and this is for you.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

[FreeDOOM]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody

[JiGGaMaN]

I hate you all. Someone please lock this thread or im gonna lose it.

[Chode Logan]

To be honest I noticed the Chuck Norris crap flare up after Conan O'brien used to have the Walker:Texas Ranger lever on his show back in the day. It was funny at first....still sometimes but most of them are so crappy (like the one that started this thread, no offense) that it lost it's luster.

My favourite was...When Chuck Norries goes swimming, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris'd.


But yah played out for sure.

[anaBROLIC]

I have been a member of this forum for like 5 years and the chuck norris jokes were funny when i signed up. years later some newbies come in and repost the same old jokes. Kind of annoying.

[WOLFCRAFT]

Man second non-funny Chuck Norris post I've read on here today.

[BritishColumbian]

ya this really sux, i wish people would just drop it allready

[FreeDOOM]

Chuck Norris

[Auss11e]

Hope Chuck comes to get all u haters!!!!

[BritishColumbian]

[Freakish]

ya this really sux, i wish people would just drop it allready

you started the thread