did I do the right thing?

[bulldawg_28]

Just to warn everyone, this isn't short, and yes it has to do with another break up.

Ok, so I was seeing this girl for a couple of months. For the most part, she's a great girl. Just to describe her, she's very shy, doesn't drink, smoke, party, or anything. She has a two year old daughter. She basically doesn't have much of a future. She got pregnant at 18. Her doctors told her that she is literaly unable to attend college at the time, so she lossed her scholarship. She doesn't have much money, her parents don't make much. So her chances of going to college for awhile are slim to none. At the moment she works at a coffee shop making minimum wage.

Now her ex-fiance. He's a piece of shit. She told me at work about how much of a **** up he is. He sits at their apartment all day, doing nothing but watch TV. Not to mention that he's an illegal alien. I hate to mention this too, but he's pretty much raped her before.

So how did we end up seeing each other? She ends up telling me how much she likes me. So we start hanging out, then one thing led to another and we ended up doing the dirty a bunch of times. We kept this secret from her fiance at the time. That is until she finally told him that she's leaving him. But he hasn't gotten that through his head.

I liked her in the beginning, but that began to fade, and now... I guess all I can say is that I just care about her, but nothing more. I don't know why. This seems to have happened with every relationship I've had ever since I went through a bad break up a couple of years ago.

So why did I end it? The main reason I guess is because I'm not feeling any strong feelings for her. It just doesn't seem fair to either of us. The next, I guess I was just staying with her for comfort. I told her that we both deserve better than to just be with someone for comfort. The next, I told her that her daughter deserves to have a father figure in her life. Me, I'm not a father, and I never want to become one. The responsibility of being a parent is not for me. Next reason, she's got a psycho ex-fiance who won't get out of her life. I know since he's the father of her child she's stuck with him (being somewhat a part of her life that is), but he's trying to invade our privacy. I let this drag on for awhile, I guess because I wanted to give it a chance, even though I was pretty sure that it wouldn't work out, and now I hurt her.

She's texting me at the moment asking if my decision would have been different if she didn't have a child, asking me to tell her that everything is going to be ok. I feel so bad that I hurt her. I mean this is one of the most nicest, and quite frankly, I haven't met a girl that's a good girl (no partying, drinking, etc.) like her, but I just don't have the feelings for her.

[beatango2008]

Bro, if you didnt have those type of feelings for her anymore then it would of never worked out. But she sounds like a really sweet girl, hope everything works out for you.

[bulldawg_28]

Yeah I know, I just feel horrible about it, and yes she was a sweet heart.

[Nicotine]

no point in dragging it out and leading her or yourself on if it's just not meant to be.

it ends up worse in the long run.

[Voice of Reason]

Yeh wait till she's 21 she'll be drinking and partying, trying to live out her fantasies of being single with no kid like she did with you, this bitch has got more luggage than you can squat. I'd just walk away, been there before nothing but a ****ing headache, sure the sex was good but if your not looking to settledown nothing positive will come of this, even still she sounds to young and immature for that...

[gst528i]

Run like hell dude. From the way you describe yourself, you remind me of myself lol... As in i was in the same situation other than the the girls ex being bad. But in anycase unless your ready to be a daddy part time or full time i would think you made the right decision.

Beside if she was raped by the guy, i think she should have had an abortion considering the father of the child would be in her life after the violence.

Ofcourse most people would disagree with me, but i think you made the right choice. You dont need baby mama drama.
GL with it.

[WARMachine]

^^^ Yes!

Why would you want to pay for another mans mistakes?

Doesnt make sense.

Thats why you NEVER EVER EVER EVER date a single mom.

If you have no game and thats all you can get, fine.

But if you do have game, go find a hot cool chick without kids and stay with that!


You made a GREAT decision!

Now, you did wear a condom EVERY SINGLE FVCKIN TIME you two had sex right?

She got pregnant once, she could very easily do it again.

[gst528i]

^^^^^^ aint that the truth. This one gurl i messed around with, thank god i used the rubbers. After 2 months i get a call from her saying she is pregnant. I was like, well why are you telling me? lol.....
She is said she just wanted to talk to a friend.........I told her to call the baby's dad than deleted her number...

[WARMachine]

You harsh SOB!

I love it!

Check this out bro, you will appreicate him! Hes on in 5 minutes, his name is Tom Leykis, his whole show is about how to get more ass for less money. And he teaches woman how men think.
I love this guy! You can listen online, check him brother!

http://www.blowmeuptom.com/

[JiGGaMaN]

never touch a woman who has a child/children... sounds like a real gutter-slut.

[JiGGaMaN]

also, you know what her stance is on abortion if you knock her up...

[zimmy]

Pay for another man's mistakes? Wow. Having a child with the wrong guy can be a mistake but the CHILD is not a mistake. They are blessings. Even if they make the mother's life more complex they are still blessings.


I do agree with War though... women with children are for people who "don't have game". They are for those who DON'T WANT to play games. I am with my older sister's best friend. She has 2 children that I have known for a while. When your heart tells you to jump...you do it. The kids don't stop you from loving or liking someone unless you weren't really looking for a serious relationship anyway. In which...continue to play games with bar/club girls.


as far as the original poster...if you know you aren't ready for that kind of commitment and don't want to be a father...then it's good you opted out now rather than later.

[calgarian]

pay for another man's mistakes? Wow. Having a child with the wrong guy can be a mistake but the child is not a mistake. They are blessings. Even if they make the mother's life more complex they are still blessings.


i do agree with war though... Women with children are for people who "don't have game". They are for those who don't want to play games. I am with my older sister's best friend. She has 2 children that i have known for a while. When your heart tells you to jump...you do it. The kids don't stop you from loving or liking someone unless you weren't really looking for a serious relationship anyway. In which...continue to play games with bar/club girls.


As far as the original poster...if you know you aren't ready for that kind of commitment and don't want to be a father...then it's good you opted out now rather than later.

+ 2.

[WARMachine]

Pay for another man's mistakes? Wow. Having a child with the wrong guy can be a mistake but the CHILD is not a mistake. They are blessings. Even if they make the mother's life more complex they are still blessings.

I do agree with War though... women with children are for people who "don't have game". They are for those who DON'T WANT to play games. I am with my older sister's best friend. She has 2 children that I have known for a while. When your heart tells you to jump...you do it. The kids don't stop you from loving or liking someone unless you weren't really looking for a serious relationship anyway. In which...continue to play games with bar/club girls.


as far as the original poster...if you know you aren't ready for that kind of commitment and don't want to be a father...then it's good you opted out now rather than later.

Says the guy paying for said mistakes...

To each's own pal. I just dont understand what the benefit is for a man to take care of another man's kids.

Why cant you find a girl without kids?

[Jfew44]

If you didn't have feelings, no point in staying with her and hurting her. IMO, kids really don't matter when it comes to how you feel. I grew up with a stepmother who cared about me like I was her own. Her and my dad are still very much in love.

Bottom line: I hope she finds someone who can look past the fact that she has kids

[zimmy]

Says the guy paying for said mistakes...

To each's own pal. I just dont understand what the benefit is for a man to take care of another man's kids.

Why cant you find a girl without kids?

I was with a few girls before her....and had a few interested in me when i started going out with her....but i was then and still am in love with her. So its not that i coudln't find some one without kids...

it's more like the woman I was supposed to marry happens to have 2 kids already...that's 2 kids that I can raise like mine and NEVER have to change diapers or stay up at night while they are in the crib...

[WARMachine]

The point is that they arent yours.

I dont know, i dont want to insult you or anything, i just think you should have made better choices, contrary to popular belief, you can choose who you love.

The minute a chick tells me i have kids, im OUT!

[CSAR]

If you got kids and she's got kids, you've got the Brady Bunch. Wackiness and hilarity ensues.

If she's got kids and you don't, she's looking for instant family - just add Dad.

[Older lifter]

Ask her to put the kid up for adoption..........

[gst528i]

^^^^^ lol rofl .. hahaha .. dude thats ****ed up man....funny but f u ck ed up

[BritishColumbian]

[inky-e]

never touch a woman who has a child/children... sounds like a real gutter-slut.

THATS the Jigga I know!!! hahaha