Trapped in a vicious circle

[Voland]

Ok. Here my story....
This is me about to be 19 at 5,7 and 122lbs...yeah maybe a skinny twig blabla i've always loved eating, a lot, i could eat all i wanted, when ever i wanted and all the sport i did was swimming from time to time nothing else.

This is me now, 23 yrs, 5,7 166lbs and fvcking fat about 20% guesstimate. Years of working out, eating boring stuff i dont like, wasting money on shit like glutamine, creatine, protein powder, blablaa for this...is it worth it? i dont think so.

So now im trapped...i you could see i'm kinda sad.
Cos i'm sad i eat stuff i like, and i'm in a good mood when i do so. But then my bf is higher and higher so when i see my body i think is gross. Sad again. So I nice stuff again. How do i come out of that shit??

I've been 4 days in a lean bulk diet (which is like a cutting diet for me) and could handled anymore i feel hungry i NEED carbs in every meal.

So I thought what worked for me when i was 19 should work for me now.
So why instead of makeing BB my sport, make swimming my sport and lift ocasionally when ever i feel i want, that can be 1 day a week or 5 depending on my moods.

Any input guys?

thanks

[DSM4Life]

Ok. Here my story....
This is me about to be 19 at 5,7 and 122lbs...yeah maybe a skinny twig blabla i've always loved eating, a lot, i could eat all i wanted, when ever i wanted and all the sport i did was swimming from time to time nothing else.



This is me now, 23 yrs, 5,7 166lbs and fvcking fat about 20% guesstimate. Years of working out, eating boring stuff i dont like, wasting money on shit like glutamine, creatine, protein powder, blablaa for this...is it worth it? i dont think so.



So now im trapped...i you could see i'm kinda sad.
Cos i'm sad i eat stuff i like, and i'm in a good mood when i do so. But then my bf is higher and higher so when i see my body i think is gross. Sad again. So I nice stuff again. How do i come out of that shit??

I've been 4 days in a lean bulk diet (which is like a cutting diet for me) and could handled anymore i feel hungry i NEED carbs in every meal.

So I thought what worked for me when i was 19 should work for me now.
So why instead of makeing BB my sport, make swimming my sport and lift ocasionally when ever i feel i want, that can be 1 day a week or 5 depending on my moods.

Any input guys?

thanks

I don't understand the question. You are upset that you have high BF but your on a lean bulk ? Doesn't make sense.

[Bojangles69]

I'm not entirely sure myself what the question is but I see a couple of things going on.

First is your age from 19-23 and your current bf%
At your age your most likely just starting to stablize at your adult weight.

I am too so I know. When I was 19 I was thin and ripped up. I also wrestled, and ate everything in site believe it or not.

Now, I do mostly weights, keep a straight diet, and I find it really hard to keep lean and muscular. So its important to understand how you body responded then is not how it will respond now.
I think ultimately, you may have never been in the condition you aspire to be, which is different for me.
I was in shape 2 years ago and fell off track.
But I understand it has nothing to do with glutamine or creatine.
For me its maintaining a good diet consistently and a good workout regimine + lots of cardio.
My mind use to operate that when I hate pizza or fries I'd feel like a waste of life.
Now I'm basically content having some extra weight, which is the only reason I have it.

So the only thing I can say to your vague issue is if you really really want something you'll get it, otherwise you just don't want it as bad as you think. Simple as that.

[gst528i]

I geuss if you want the ambercombie look. I think you have a better frame now and a can work on reducing you bf%. Maybe you want to do swimming as you did and lift wieghts. best of both worlds?
Swimming can be your cardio...