WTF?? What do you think?? Should I be mad or apologize to this girl??

**MMArmour** · 02-03-2009, 02:08 PM

Alright heres the situation:

A few days ago im sitting at home doing whatever. Just chilling out. My girlfriend texts me and says
"Who the **** is Jenny ***********?!?" and im like
"what? I know a jenny by a different last name. why?"

She goes on to say that someone had messaged her a copy of a message i had written about 6 months back to an ex. I call bullshit and told her to admit to the fact that she must have hacked my acct to know what she was telling me (detailed contents of the message).

Now, me and my girl have been together about a year and half and i written these emails about 6 months back, while we were still together. The messages were to an ex gf who i was very close with and things went bad for one reason or another and i had alot of unresolved issues on my chest about it and things i needed to say to her and so i did. Just to try and let it go. And it worked. I felt alot better about telling her how i felt etc, and just let it lie. I didnt cheat on my girl but there was emotionally detailed stuff in there all relating to my feelings for what happened etc.

I finally get her to admit she hacked my acct, and that in fact NO ONE emailed her a copy of anything.

She used my password to access my facebook and went rifling through my personal information, and violated my personal privacy. Then lied to me about how she came to get the information, and tried to make it look like my fault in the process. She has done this before on a previous occasion and i warned her that I would break up with her if she did it again. Which she has done.

I love this girl but i cant put up with anymore of this kiddy internet bullshit. Its obvious she is VERY insecure and has an inability to just come and talk to me when she is feeling this way and would rather violate my privacy and grossly over step her boundary as a gf.

Long story short, she is very upset and hurt by some of the things i wrote to my ex (again..i didnt cheat on her, i had some things to get off my chest, some past emotions i was hanging on to and had to get it gone. there was no sexually detailed element to the message at all. strictly emotional). I on the other hand feel she has no ****ing right to feel upset about a ****ing thing because she hacked my account to get the information. She didnt need to know anything about what i wrote, i did what i did in order to move on and be able to commit myself more to the current relationship.

What would you guys do in a similar situation???

Should i be trying to make this up to her? Being that i wrote the message to my ex while i was dating her.

Or am i right in thinking "**** that! She hacked your shit! Dig a ditch and bury the bitch! Serves her right!"??

After i promised her and told her what the consequence would be if she did this again, which she now has, am I less of a man for not making good on my promise to drop her? Im undecided. Things with relationship are often not black and white. Need an objective opinion.

**redz** · 02-03-2009, 02:12 PM

You guys are both a little wrong, she definitely shouldnt have done that but how would you feel if she was still talking about emotional stuff with her ex while dating you? There is definitely some trust issues to be worked out between you guys. If you really care about her let it go and tell her your done talking with your ex and move forward.

**MMArmour** · 02-03-2009, 02:13 PM

there is truth to that.But its not a consistant thing with me and my ex. I wrote her to get off my chest, and then that was it. End of story and we havent talked since. I agree, alot of trust issues.

**MMArmour** · 02-03-2009, 02:14 PM

and this is the second instance of this! The first time she made some fake profile of some hott girl and tried to hit on me to see what id say to a random girl.

I saw it for that immideately, called her right then, and made her admit it. It was the most immature shit id ever seen from an adult.

***D7M*** · 02-03-2009, 02:16 PM

dude, I'm not joking...the same exact fking thing happened to me.

Was with a girl, I wrote my ex a couple times (no cheating) but like you said, just talking. My current girl hacked into my account too. Same exact thing!

From my experience, unless you really, really love this girl and want to make it work, I'd let her go. Once the trust is gone, its gone.

And any girl who hacks into any of my accounts isn't worth my fking time. That's some childish bullsht.

**redz** · 02-03-2009, 02:16 PM

hmm that is pretty strange^^ I dont think I would be too trusting after that. Trust is a major issue for me if i cant trust a girl I cant be with her.

**Deltasaurus** · 02-03-2009, 02:21 PM

Honestly id probably end it, thats just me personally

**MMArmour** · 02-03-2009, 02:23 PM

**** ya. agreed. im really pissed off at her for this. Its just childish games and makes me think she isnt worth the time.

**Deltasaurus** · 02-03-2009, 02:26 PM

i mean better to do it now then have it happen again say a couple years from now and be more commited to the relationship. Well neways Trust is the most important think in my relationship right before Incredible sex, and if i can trust her well thats that,.

**Dukkit** · 02-03-2009, 02:27 PM

its just gonna keep escalating. she obviously has trust issues and this isnt gonna help. yes i know you didnt cheat and all but to her... its close enough. she will just keep lookin for ways to pick fights and bring shit up

dump her

**amcon** · 02-03-2009, 02:41 PM

Originally Posted by MMArmour

Alright heres the situation:

A few days ago im sitting at home doing whatever. Just chilling out. My girlfriend texts me and says
"Who the **** is Jenny ***********?!?" and im like
"what? I know a jenny by a different last name. why?"

She goes on to say that someone had messaged her a copy of a message i had written about 6 months back to an ex. I call bullshit and told her to admit to the fact that she must have hacked my acct to know what she was telling me (detailed contents of the message).

Now, me and my girl have been together about a year and half and i written these emails about 6 months back, while we were still together. The messages were to an ex gf who i was very close with and things went bad for one reason or another and i had alot of unresolved issues on my chest about it and things i needed to say to her and so i did. Just to try and let it go. And it worked. I felt alot better about telling her how i felt etc, and just let it lie. I didnt cheat on my girl but there was emotionally detailed stuff in there all relating to my feelings for what happened etc.

I finally get her to admit she hacked my acct, and that in fact NO ONE emailed her a copy of anything.

She used my password to access my facebook and went rifling through my personal information, and violated my personal privacy. Then lied to me about how she came to get the information, and tried to make it look like my fault in the process. She has done this before on a previous occasion and i warned her that I would break up with her if she did it again. Which she has done.

I love this girl but i cant put up with anymore of this kiddy internet bullshit. Its obvious she is VERY insecure and has an inability to just come and talk to me when she is feeling this way and would rather violate my privacy and grossly over step her boundary as a gf.

Long story short, she is very upset and hurt by some of the things i wrote to my ex (again..i didnt cheat on her, i had some things to get off my chest, some past emotions i was hanging on to and had to get it gone. there was no sexually detailed element to the message at all. strictly emotional). I on the other hand feel she has no ****ing right to feel upset about a ****ing thing because she hacked my account to get the information. She didnt need to know anything about what i wrote, i did what i did in order to move on and be able to commit myself more to the current relationship.

What would you guys do in a similar situation???

Should i be trying to make this up to her? Being that i wrote the message to my ex while i was dating her.

Or am i right in thinking "**** that! She hacked your shit! Dig a ditch and bury the bitch! Serves her right!"??

After i promised her and told her what the consequence would be if she did this again, which she now has, am I less of a man for not making good on my promise to drop her? Im undecided. Things with relationship are often not black and white. Need an objective opinion.

she should come to you with issues.... if she cant dont look at her why take that responsibiltiy on your self to figure out what you can do to make here feel more confident with your relationship...

some thing is up where she is hacking into you personal stuff... that is not cool at all - yet i believe you should give her that access any ways (if you love her it wont be a big deal and show lots of trust in her )

if you love her you need to forgive her

and solve other issues you guys seem to be facing

good luck

**johnnybigguns** · 02-03-2009, 02:41 PM

I think if you feel you really needed to get it off your chest to be able to fully move on there should be no problem with that. Why carry the extra weight.
I also think you should have told her about it in the first place or possibly even before you wrote it. I also think there should be no reason to stop her from goign on your facebook to look at things if she wants there should be nothing to hide. It a way to build trust . When people check it and see there is nothing wrong or bad on there then there insecurities will slowly go away

**Dukkit** · 02-03-2009, 02:47 PM

Originally Posted by johnnybigguns

I think if you feel you really needed to get it off your chest to be able to fully move on there should be no problem with that. Why carry the extra weight.
I also think you should have told her about it in the first place or possibly even before you wrote it. I also think there should be no reason to stop her from goign on your facebook to look at things if she wants there should be nothing to hide. It a way to build trust . When people check it and see there is nothing wrong or bad on there then there insecurities will slowly go away

i disagree

ppl need their privacy. somewhere in life. its human nature. no one tells everyone... everything! not just secrets but if you wanna have your own facebook and not let them go in and read messages, even if they are just normal messages to friends sayin "yo we goin to the superbowl next year?". so be it.

ppl need to respect ppls privacy. even if your married with kids. Especially when your married... cuz then everything is shared. but you need something to be just yours.

im not saying cheating or whatever. but privacy in general.

there are many ways to gain trust with ppl. without opening every facet of your life for them to explore and dissect

**Nooomoto** · 02-03-2009, 02:57 PM

I never understand why people put their personal lives all over social networking sites for others to see. None of it is private.

I'd say just tell her to STFU or bounce.

**Matt** · 02-03-2009, 03:00 PM

HHmmm, ok i agree with those that say your both at fault here in some way. I have been with girls simlar to this and they never really change, this will happen again. Now if you havnt got anything to hide then let her see anything she wants. You see i love my gf to death and have no secrets, believe me almost all ive ever posted on this board she's read. I guess what im trying to say is if you love this girl and see a long future together then why do you need secrets or your own privacy?

Btw if she's hot could you please send me photos, just to get a clearer understanding..

**QuieTSToRM33** · 02-03-2009, 03:10 PM

Originally Posted by MMArmour

She has done this before on a previous occasion and i warned her that I would break up with her if she did it again. Which she has done.

Time to man up.

That childish insecurity needs to go.

Ger rid of her.

**J-Dogg** · 02-03-2009, 04:31 PM

I would give her an anal pounding and call it good.

Really though, what made her hack into the account in the first place?

I was with a girl for awhile, she cheated on me. I was upset, but the next day called her, and I did not blame her. I never paid attention to her, because I did not like her as much as she liked me. She smoothered me.

We are still friends today and she gave me a hand job like 3 weeks ago.

**Lightsout2184** · 02-03-2009, 05:13 PM

why did you not delete emails from 6 months ago especially if they were to ur ex. she shouldnt go through ur stuff but if everytime she does she finds something what do u expect. you are both wrong. chicks always dig through things and anyone who thinks their chick doesnt just means she hasnt found anything yet. always keep your email password different from all your other accounts. change ur email password often. once you get someones email password then u can go to every one of their accounts and click on the famous forgot password link and email it to their account. If you truely love her then you will get over it if you dont you will use this as an excuse to move on. good luck bro.

**IronReload04** · 02-03-2009, 05:22 PM

love this girl but i cant put up with anymore of this kiddy internet bullshit. Its obvious she is VERY insecure and has an inability to just come and talk to me when she is feeling this way and would rather violate my privacy and grossly over step her boundary as a gf.

I on the other hand feel she has no ****ing right to feel upset about a ****ing thing because she hacked my account to get the information. She didnt need to know anything about what i wrote, i did what i did in order to move on and be able to commit myself more to the current relationship.

i'd tell her exactly that

**FallenWyvern** · 02-03-2009, 09:29 PM

It will never get any better unless she is begging you to stay with no stipulations.

**ampx** · 02-03-2009, 09:33 PM

I have had that happen. she gave the guy at sprint money to pull my phone records, and turned my locater on my phone and was following me. So I feel your pain. Just move on. Do a cycle and go to the lake. Bam done. haha

**thegodfather** · 02-03-2009, 09:44 PM

Agreed that you're both a little wrong. However, she is not the Police, she does not need a search warrant. If she finds something that is legitimatey upsetting you cant say "you didnt have my permission..." or some such bullshit. That essentially comes off as trying to flip the situation around so you do not seem wrong.

**ampx** · 02-03-2009, 09:51 PM

doesnt ever guy do that? dane cook sayed it best.

"to make them run, i make them think that im shit, to make the cum i make them think there shit."DC

**GT2** · 02-03-2009, 10:29 PM

Originally Posted by dukkitdalaw

its just gonna keep escalating. she obviously has trust issues and this isnt gonna help. yes i know you didnt cheat and all but to her... its close enough. she will just keep lookin for ways to pick fights and bring shit up

dump her

You took the words right out of my mouth.

**Bojangles69** · 02-03-2009, 10:39 PM

I just want to thank the original poster, genuinely and sincerely, and to encourage others to do the same as him, which is SPACES.

Thank you! Still wasn't able to read though.. maybe next time =]

**higherdesire** · 02-04-2009, 07:05 AM

bro mty recommendation is that you stcik to your guns and dump her. You warned her (which is why she lied)and she did it anyway, never mind her not trusting you, she isn;t trustworthy sound slike. Good luck on this one.

**MMArmour** · 02-04-2009, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by Bojangles69

I just want to thank the original poster, genuinely and sincerely, and to encourage others to do the same as him, which is SPACES.

Thank you! Still wasn't able to read though.. maybe next time =]

Ya. Youre welcome. Douche.

**johnnybigguns** · 02-04-2009, 07:50 PM

But if you do wanna teach her your not a push over you could break up with her. Then after awhile you could take her back and gain alittle more control and you would also get to stay with her if you want and its not just letting her get away with it.

**Njectable** · 02-04-2009, 08:08 PM

I agree that both you guys are in the wrong. Put yourself in her shoes though. I know if it was me and I came across my girl sending an intimate email, whether it be to an ex or a random guy, I'd be f*cking furious. She definitely didn't have the right to check out your shit, but you must be giving her some kind of reasons or signs why she shouldn't trust you and why she needs to check up on you.

**firmechicano831** · 02-04-2009, 11:35 PM

I think she doesn't trust you bro, women like that will look through ur shit the rest of ur life and smell ur underwear and everything they can.

**J-Dogg** · 02-05-2009, 01:02 AM

Originally Posted by firmechicano831

I think she doesn't trust you bro, women like that will look through ur shit the rest of ur life and smell ur underwear and everything they can.

They won't be smelling my underwear, i can grantee that.

**firmechicano831** · 02-05-2009, 11:35 PM

you'll see. I have friends that get home and their wifes be like trying to smell their dick and shit. LOL

**briancb1** · 02-07-2009, 01:15 AM

Originally Posted by firmechicano831

you'll see. I have friends that get home and their wifes be like trying to smell their dick and shit. LOL

Yea! Or they smell your lips to see if it smells like lip gloss residue is present! Or the "you didn't pick up my phone call from 30 seconds ago - you're cheating!"