An important lesson..

[Matt]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her...

[higherdesire]

ROFLMAO MATT I had no idea you had it in you! Very nice.

[WOLFCRAFT]

God damn dude that's ****ing awesome.
Good for you.

[Matt]

ROFLMAO MATT I had no idea you had it in you! Very nice.

Thank you sir, its was only a matter of time before i came up with a good one...

[jnewton86]

HOLY SH**!!! PROPS MAN. that took some balls, very clever.

[DSM4Life]

Men are so stupid. So because you do something nice for your girl you expect something in return ?

Thats how she sees it.


What you say is, "thats fine honey i love you." Suck it up and move on (even though it sucks at that point). Trust me , later on she will gladly repay you.

[jimmyinkedup]

*L* have fun wacking off - you'll be doing it for a while id say ......
yeah you showed her! *L* (although it makes for a funny story)
young man - pvssy is power in a monogamous relationship ....
btw the smart route may have been to say," i do love you for who you are ...and i love expressing that to you by making love to you - it wonderful." Your night may have turned out differently....

[needmorestrength]

I just emailed it to my gf LOL

[GT2]

LMFAO! That was pure gold. Definitely gonna forward that to the gf.

[XD40]

just so we are clear...you didnt buy any of that shit??? hahaha

[Gears]

This jokes been around, very funny though.

[*RAGE*]

OUTSTANDING BRO...lmfao

[DSM4Life]

This jokes been around, very funny though.

This was a joke, oh mother..

[needmorestrength]

this was a joke, oh mother..

lol!!

[Lightsout2184]

i was scared there for a minute about half way through your thread i actually thought you were gonna buy her that stuff. thank god you didnt

[Matt]

Yes guys this is a joke, go shopping with my gf? Id sooner eat razor blades...

[Matt]

young man

Thanks for that jimmy...

[alex18]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her...

i knew tis was a joke immediately...i mean it was too well written for matt to have wrote it..

[Matt]

i knew tis was a joke immediately...i mean it was too well written for matt to have wrote it..

Huw darre u, illl huve u no mi englosh it tha bist,,....

[*RAGE*]

i knew tis was a joke immediately...i mean it was too well written for matt to have wrote it..

you could add all his 2000 post together and they would not be that long...

lmao

[firmechicano831]

I love it. LOL

[BuffBuffalo]

LOL, I thought he was serious!!