Relationship Problems

[LawMan018]

Alright, I want an outsiders opinion on my whole situation. Okay, so I've been dating this girl for 7 months, long distance. I've known her two years prior to us dating and we were really good friends. It was on leave from the military when I finally got the balls to make a move and it was a success. We started dating soon after and four months down the line I come back on leave and we finally have sex and what not. We constantly text throughout the day and usually have a long phone convo at night. Last time I was on leave she kept saying, marry me, marry me, and so I asked. She said yes and we made plans to marry and have a ceremony in July. Well July is four months away and here's my dilemma.... Throughout our long distance relationship she'll have these flare ups where she gets really insecure and says, "I can't do it anymore." As if she's breaking up with me. She'll continue to text me I love you and the first time this happened she apologized and it was good. It's happened a few times since then, the last was pretty bad. I basically said, "You just lost me." and turned my phone off. Next day I have a bunch of texts and get a call soon after and she apologized for the whole situation, told me it was selfish and that she had time to think and she really does want to be with me. So I forgave her and things are good. Well this morning I call her and she's being kinda mean. Apparently she had a dream about me and realized how much she missed me and needs me and we hung up kind of both in bad moods. I get a text later saying, "I can't do this for another four months." Now this girl is amazing, everything I've always wanted and she was an awesome friend too. I can trust her like no other, we have the same interests, like I said, perfect. But she's just insecure. She grew up in a broken household, parents' divorced, kind of a weird upbringing. She wanted to marry me so we could be together and she could move out here with me, but she's really worried about that too. I'm just at a loss on what to do.... We're great when we're together, no arguing or anything, it's just this long distance... I'd say f u to any other girl and move on but this one is just way different than any I've experienced. The only problem is her insecurities...

[warchild]

a woman and insecurities bro???? no way!!!!! i dnt have advice cus im an idiot when it comes to women

[scerpico22]

long distance relationships, IMO...just dont work bro. buuuuuuuut that being said, im sure that it has for some people. chick sounds like she is SUPER insecure and the only thing i would have to say about this is that she has freaked on you around five times according to your post. bro, can u imagine if you get married and the shit hits the fan then what?

if i was you and you really wanted to see if this thing with her will work out...i would have to live with her for a minimum of 1 year if not 2 before i made the leap to marriage.

good luck.

[Dukkit]

how i see it, you have a few main factors that are causing these outbursts

-other then being insecure... which everyone is to an extent. im a sexy bitch who sleeps with a different women most nights of the week. but im still insecure at times.

-long distance... which is something i strongly advise against to my friends. 99% of the time it never works or ends up into something that is the opposite of what it was meant to be and started out as.

-Wedding day... you guys are getting married as you say. so theres always gonna be stress associated with that.

all these factors put together in one female... equals trouble

if you love her. and care about her. and really see yourself with her for many years to come

then you need to talk to her about these factors. about what you stated here. let her know you understand that she is stressed and scared. let her know you are here for her. that you want her in your life.

maybe put off the wedding. move in with her first. like someone else stated. im only 24 and ive lived with 5 girls or so. and been engaged already. ive found out the hard way that things arent all red roses and i love you's.

this can be resolved if YOU and HER want it to be.

if not... dump the chick and come out with me someone night. we'll take home some sluts

[BritishColumbian]

When you figure out women let me know. They are irrational at the best of times. They can change in a heartbeat. Good luck!

[LawMan018]

how i see it, you have a few main factors that are causing these outbursts

-other then being insecure... which everyone is to an extent. im a sexy bitch who sleeps with a different women most nights of the week. but im still insecure at times.

-long distance... which is something i strongly advise against to my friends. 99% of the time it never works or ends up into something that is the opposite of what it was meant to be and started out as.

-Wedding day... you guys are getting married as you say. so theres always gonna be stress associated with that.

all these factors put together in one female... equals trouble

if you love her. and care about her. and really see yourself with her for many years to come

then you need to talk to her about these factors. about what you stated here. let her know you understand that she is stressed and scared. let her know you are here for her. that you want her in your life.

maybe put off the wedding. move in with her first. like someone else stated. im only 24 and ive lived with 5 girls or so. and been engaged already. ive found out the hard way that things arent all red roses and i love you's.

this can be resolved if YOU and HER want it to be.

if not... dump the chick and come out with me someone night. we'll take home some sluts

Haha, nice post. I see what ya mean... And like I said, when we're together this doesn't happen. I know her last ex which she dated the longest she found out cheated on her so I think some of this derives from the fact that she freaks herself out thinking what if I did that? I don't know... I have my own inseurities but before I lash out I take a step back and re-examine the whole situation... Guess some people don't.

[Dukkit]

every girl has been cheated on. every girl has been hurt

the trick is... finding one that doesnt let that get her down. or make her close up her walls so that you cant get in.

sad thing is... im usually the douch who did the cheating in the first place

so i owe you all an apology for ruining any future relationships you may have

[jamyjamjr]

Alright, I want an outsiders opinion on my whole situation. Okay, so I've been dating this girl for 7 months, long distance. I've known her two years prior to us dating and we were really good friends. It was on leave from the military when I finally got the balls to make a move and it was a success. We started dating soon after and four months down the line I come back on leave and we finally have sex and what not. We constantly text throughout the day and usually have a long phone convo at night. Last time I was on leave she kept saying, marry me, marry me, and so I asked. She said yes and we made plans to marry and have a ceremony in July. Well July is four months away and here's my dilemma.... Throughout our long distance relationship she'll have these flare ups where she gets really insecure and says, "I can't do it anymore." As if she's breaking up with me. She'll continue to text me I love you and the first time this happened she apologized and it was good. It's happened a few times since then, the last was pretty bad. I basically said, "You just lost me." and turned my phone off. Next day I have a bunch of texts and get a call soon after and she apologized for the whole situation, told me it was selfish and that she had time to think and she really does want to be with me. So I forgave her and things are good. Well this morning I call her and she's being kinda mean. Apparently she had a dream about me and realized how much she missed me and needs me and we hung up kind of both in bad moods. I get a text later saying, "I can't do this for another four months." Now this girl is amazing, everything I've always wanted and she was an awesome friend too. I can trust her like no other, we have the same interests, like I said, perfect. But she's just insecure. She grew up in a broken household, parents' divorced, kind of a weird upbringing. She wanted to marry me so we could be together and she could move out here with me, but she's really worried about that too. I'm just at a loss on what to do.... We're great when we're together, no arguing or anything, it's just this long distance... I'd say f u to any other girl and move on but this one is just way different than any I've experienced. The only problem is her insecurities...

she's bangin a joey man... dont have a chick while your in the military.. all your gonna think about is who's trying to get dirty in your territory... let her go...

[MASTER]

every girl has been cheated on. every girl has been hurt

the trick is... finding one that doesnt let that get her down. or make her close up her walls so that you cant get in.

sad thing is... im usually the douch who did the cheating in the first place

so i owe you all an apology for ruining any future relationships you may have

Yeh I apologise for sleeping with your wife and daughter in advance Dukkit. What can I say, women can't resist me and you have a 3 inch pee pee.

[Matt]

Hmmm, enough said...

[higherdesire]

Bro love is a funny thing. We see and don't see things that others do or don't. You say "she is everything you have ever wanted in a woman" and if hot and cold, up and down, immature, and not able to handle stress or pressure is on yur list you hit the jackpot.

Bro you will face a lot worse times than this throughout a successful relationship. Those qualities shoudl not be ignored. You need a supporter and someone to be an asset in tough times. Not someone who you can't get through tough times with. Personally I would rather have less of the warm and fuzzy and more confidence that my mate can handle life well.

Just something to think about. Good luck to you both.

[JiGGaMaN]

every girl has been cheated on. every girl has been hurt

i apologize for that.

[Hoggage_54]

7 months and already planning on getting married? I'm going to need like 7 YEARS before I could make that decision

[LawMan018]

Bro love is a funny thing. We see and don't see things that others do or don't. You say "she is everything you have ever wanted in a woman" and if hot and cold, up and down, immature, and not able to handle stress or pressure is on yur list you hit the jackpot.

Bro you will face a lot worse times than this throughout a successful relationship. Those qualities shoudl not be ignored. You need a supporter and someone to be an asset in tough times. Not someone who you can't get through tough times with. Personally I would rather have less of the warm and fuzzy and more confidence that my mate can handle life well.

Just something to think about. Good luck to you both.

Yah, I know... I'm just trying to make sense of it all. If she was constantly like this like I said, she'd be out... But it's just like one or two days few and far between... Other then this bs things are fine, this shits just nagging at me... And dukkit, you sure have a big ego, perhaps making up for your shortcomings?

[higherdesire]

You are gonna know best if you look at it objectively. Because if you llok through the luv filter it may be a long hard road. Liek I said best of luck.

BTW, if that is you in the avi good job.

[DSM4Life]

Alright, I want an outsiders opinion on my whole situation. Okay, so I've been dating this girl for 7 months, long distance. I've known her two years prior to us dating and we were really good friends. It was on leave from the military when I finally got the balls to make a move and it was a success. We started dating soon after and four months down the line I come back on leave and we finally have sex and what not. We constantly text throughout the day and usually have a long phone convo at night. Last time I was on leave she kept saying, marry me, marry me, and so I asked. She said yes and we made plans to marry and have a ceremony in July. Well July is four months away and here's my dilemma.... Throughout our long distance relationship she'll have these flare ups where she gets really insecure and says, "I can't do it anymore." As if she's breaking up with me. She'll continue to text me I love you and the first time this happened she apologized and it was good. It's happened a few times since then, the last was pretty bad. I basically said, "You just lost me." and turned my phone off. Next day I have a bunch of texts and get a call soon after and she apologized for the whole situation, told me it was selfish and that she had time to think and she really does want to be with me. So I forgave her and things are good. Well this morning I call her and she's being kinda mean. Apparently she had a dream about me and realized how much she missed me and needs me and we hung up kind of both in bad moods. I get a text later saying, "I can't do this for another four months." Now this girl is amazing, everything I've always wanted and she was an awesome friend too. I can trust her like no other, we have the same interests, like I said, perfect. But she's just insecure. She grew up in a broken household, parents' divorced, kind of a weird upbringing. She wanted to marry me so we could be together and she could move out here with me, but she's really worried about that too. I'm just at a loss on what to do.... We're great when we're together, no arguing or anything, it's just this long distance... I'd say f u to any other girl and move on but this one is just way different than any I've experienced. The only problem is her insecurities...

I am stopping at 7 months and marry.
Come on man, use your head. You have only known this girl for 7 months , have you even lived with her yet ?

I say your crazy if you get married. You want to "take things to the next level" then get a apt and maybe a dog. If that last for 2 years when take the plunge other than that, NO F'in WAY !

[Nooomoto]

Military guys seem to love getting into shitty situations with girls, where they end up losing a lot financially before they get out of it. Don't do it man.

[british bulldog 1]

long distance dont work bro.................fact

[RA]

Try to look at it objectively. Because of the broken home does she have a lot of issues? Its been proven that love is blind. A chemical is released in your brain that stops you from looking at your potential mates shortcomings. If she has a lot of issues now they will still be with her in 10 years.

[LawMan018]

Try to look at it objectively. Because of the broken home does she have a lot of issues? Its been proven that love is blind. A chemical is released in your brain that stops you from looking at your potential mates shortcomings. If she has a lot of issues now they will still be with her in 10 years.

I know, I know... I've been through a big relationship before with heartbreak at the end and I've been a lot more careful now... But I have looked at her objectively, I'm pretty close to my parents too and have asked for their opinion. They've met her and see how she is, and they really like her, which is a huge thing for me, I'm a family guy. And I have looked at our relationship as a whole and the pluses to outweight the negatives. I think the only thing I can do is next time I see her in person, to sit down and talk about this crap and tell her it needs to end. I think doing it over the phone is bogus plus I think she's gonna surprise me by coming out soon... But thanks for the advice guys, I'll take it to heart and just see how it goes for the next few months. It;s been two years before this girl that I had a serious relationship, it's a hard thing for me to find a good girl, and when I do I try my hardest. And thanks, that is me in the avatar...

[gixxerboy1]

I know, I know... I've been through a big relationship before with heartbreak at the end and I've been a lot more careful now... But I have looked at her objectively, I'm pretty close to my parents too and have asked for their opinion. They've met her and see how she is, and they really like her, which is a huge thing for me, I'm a family guy. And I have looked at our relationship as a whole and the pluses to outweight the negatives. I think the only thing I can do is next time I see her in person, to sit down and talk about this crap and tell her it needs to end. I think doing it over the phone is bogus plus I think she's gonna surprise me by coming out soon... But thanks for the advice guys, I'll take it to heart and just see how it goes for the next few months. It;s been two years before this girl that I had a serious relationship, it's a hard thing for me to find a good girl, and when I do I try my hardest. And thanks, that is me in the avatar...

DSM is completely correct!!!!

You looked at your relationship as a a whole? Bro you have been dating for 7 months and part of tha twas long distance. You dont have enough to look at. You have phone calls and text messages. You guys dont have enough time and situations together to know each other well. You 2 haven't been through enough to be even close to getting married

[fit4ever]

Alright, I want an outsiders opinion on my whole situation. Okay, so I've been dating this girl for 7 months, long distance. I've known her two years prior to us dating and we were really good friends. It was on leave from the military when I finally got the balls to make a move and it was a success. We started dating soon after and four months down the line I come back on leave and we finally have sex and what not. We constantly text throughout the day and usually have a long phone convo at night. Last time I was on leave she kept saying, marry me, marry me, and so I asked. She said yes and we made plans to marry and have a ceremony in July. Well July is four months away and here's my dilemma.... Throughout our long distance relationship she'll have these flare ups where she gets really insecure and says, "I can't do it anymore." As if she's breaking up with me. She'll continue to text me I love you and the first time this happened she apologized and it was good. It's happened a few times since then, the last was pretty bad. I basically said, "You just lost me." and turned my phone off. Next day I have a bunch of texts and get a call soon after and she apologized for the whole situation, told me it was selfish and that she had time to think and she really does want to be with me. So I forgave her and things are good. Well this morning I call her and she's being kinda mean. Apparently she had a dream about me and realized how much she missed me and needs me and we hung up kind of both in bad moods. I get a text later saying, "I can't do this for another four months." Now this girl is amazing, everything I've always wanted and she was an awesome friend too. I can trust her like no other, we have the same interests, like I said, perfect. But she's just insecure. She grew up in a broken household, parents' divorced, kind of a weird upbringing. She wanted to marry me so we could be together and she could move out here with me, but she's really worried about that too. I'm just at a loss on what to do.... We're great when we're together, no arguing or anything, it's just this long distance... I'd say f u to any other girl and move on but this one is just way different than any I've experienced. The only problem is her insecurities...

If you're looking for the perfect relationship or a girl who has no insecurities, then you'll be single forever. And you know what? A man that always fights for his woman will make those insecurities fade away. It's when you say things like, "You just lost me", that her weaknesses will shine.

If you really love her and want to experience forever with her, you'll have to dig in deep to discover your unconditional heart for her. Because conditional love is very temporary.

Good luck!

[mho]

I disagree with most of the advice and views in this thread. For one, long distance relationships CAN work. While it's rare, it all depends on the people involved. My wife (girlfriend at the time) and I did the long distance thing for a little over four months. We ran into some rough spots but nothing that we couldn't fix after talking it out. We only knew eachother for 9 months before we were married, and people we knew said it would never work because we didn't know each other well enough.

Long story short, people said long distance relationships always fail. People said we were too young to understand what we were getting into. They said we didn't know eachother well enough and that our marriage wouldn't make it past the first year - My wife and I will have been married five years in June. So I say if this girl is as great as you think she is and she feels the same about you, and you are both determined to make your relationship work, then there is absolutely no reason your story should end in failure.

P.S. My wife and I were both 17 when we were apart. If two immature, irrational, and impatient teenagers can overcome the challenge of a long distance relationship, you can too.

Sorry for the grammatical errors.

[Panzerfaust]

Alright, I want an outsiders opinion on my whole situation. Okay, so I've been dating this guy for 7 months, long distance. I've known him two years prior to us dating and we were really good friends. It was on leave from the military when I finally got the balls to make a move and it was a success. We started dating soon after and four months down the line I come back on leave and we finally have sex and what not. We constantly text throughout the day and usually have a long phone convo at night. Last time I was on leave he kept saying, marry me, marry me, and so I asked. He said yes and we made plans to marry and have a ceremony in July. Well July is four months away and here's my dilemma.... Throughout our long distance relationship he'll have these flare ups where he gets really insecure and says, "I can't do it anymore." As if he's breaking up with me. He'll continue to text me I love you and the first time this happened he apologized and it was good. It's happened a few times since then, the last was pretty bad. I basically said, "You just lost me." and turned my phone off. Next day I have a bunch of texts and get a call soon after and he apologized for the whole situation, told me it was selfish and that he had time to think and he really does want to be with me. So I forgave him and things are good. Well this morning I call him and he's being kinda mean. Apparently he had a dream about me and realized how much he missed me and needs me and we hung up kind of both in bad moods. I get a text later saying, "I can't do this for another four months." Now this guy is amazing, everything I've always wanted and he was an awesome friend too. I can trust him like no other, we have the same interests, like I said, perfect. But he's just insecure. He grew up in a broken household, parents' divorced, kind of a weird upbringing. He wanted to marry me so we could be together and he could move out here with me, but he's really worried about that too. I'm just at a loss on what to do.... We're great when we're together, no arguing or anything, it's just this long distance... I'd say f u to any other guy and move on but this one is just way different than any I've experienced. The only problem is his insecurities...

There fixed!





Sounds like both of you men are immature and love playing retarded mind games! Where are you getting married? It's not legal in most states.

[*RAGE*]

Get out, run, I have read your other post....leave bro....

[LawMan018]

Illegal? Since when was age a factor in legal marriage? Your mom and I are very happy together despite our differences

Sounds like both of you men are immature and love playing retarded mind games! Where are you getting married? It's not legal in most states.

[Bojangles69]

Alright, I want an outsiders opinion on my whole situation. Okay, so I've been dating this girl for 7 months, long distance. I've known her two years prior to us dating and we were really good friends. It was on leave from the military when I finally got the balls to make a move and it was a success. We started dating soon after and four months down the line I come back on leave and we finally have sex and what not. We constantly text throughout the day and usually have a long phone convo at night. Last time I was on leave she kept saying, marry me, marry me, and so I asked. She said yes and we made plans to marry and have a ceremony in July. Well July is four months away and here's my dilemma.... Throughout our long distance relationship she'll have these flare ups where she gets really insecure and says, "I can't do it anymore." As if she's breaking up with me. She'll continue to text me I love you and the first time this happened she apologized and it was good. It's happened a few times since then, the last was pretty bad. I basically said, "You just lost me." and turned my phone off. Next day I have a bunch of texts and get a call soon after and she apologized for the whole situation, told me it was selfish and that she had time to think and she really does want to be with me. So I forgave her and things are good. Well this morning I call her and she's being kinda mean. Apparently she had a dream about me and realized how much she missed me and needs me and we hung up kind of both in bad moods. I get a text later saying, "I can't do this for another four months." Now this girl is amazing, everything I've always wanted and she was an awesome friend too. I can trust her like no other, we have the same interests, like I said, perfect. But she's just insecure. She grew up in a broken household, parents' divorced, kind of a weird upbringing. She wanted to marry me so we could be together and she could move out here with me, but she's really worried about that too. I'm just at a loss on what to do.... We're great when we're together, no arguing or anything, it's just this long distance... I'd say f u to any other girl and move on but this one is just way different than any I've experienced. The only problem is her insecurities...

Classic example of how NOT to type.

[Bojangles69]

how i see it, you have a few main factors that are causing these outbursts

-other then being insecure... which everyone is to an extent. im a sexy bitch who sleeps with a different women most nights of the week. but im still insecure at times.

-long distance... which is something i strongly advise against to my friends. 99% of the time it never works or ends up into something that is the opposite of what it was meant to be and started out as.

-Wedding day... you guys are getting married as you say. so theres always gonna be stress associated with that.

all these factors put together in one female... equals trouble

if you love her. and care about her. and really see yourself with her for many years to come

then you need to talk to her about these factors. about what you stated here. let her know you understand that she is stressed and scared. let her know you are here for her. that you want her in your life.

maybe put off the wedding. move in with her first. like someone else stated. im only 24 and ive lived with 5 girls or so. and been engaged already. ive found out the hard way that things arent all red roses and i love you's.

this can be resolved if YOU and HER want it to be.

if not... dump the chick and come out with me someone night. we'll take home some sluts

Classic example of HOW to type.

[Panzerfaust]

Illegal? Since when was age a factor in legal marriage? Your mom and I are very happy together despite our differences

Yes, same sex marriage is illegal in alot of states. Don't think us old timers have forgotten you buddy. We NEVER forget!

[Bojangles69]

BLOCK QUOTE EDIT OF ORIGINAL POST FOR EASIER READING

Alright, I want an outsiders opinion on my whole situation.

So I've been dating this girl for 7 months, long distance. I've known her two years prior to us dating and we were really good friends.
It was on leave from the military when I finally got the balls to make a move and it was a success.

We started dating soon after and four months down the line I come back on leave and we finally have sex and what not.

We constantly text throughout the day and usually have a long phone convo at night. Last time I was on leave she kept saying, marry me, marry me, and so I asked. She said yes and we made plans to marry and have a ceremony in July. Well July is four months away and here's my dilemma....

Throughout our long distance relationship she'll have these flare ups where she gets really insecure and says, "I can't do it anymore." As if she's breaking up with me.
She'll continue to text me I love you and the first time this happened she apologized and it was good.

It's happened a few times since then, the last was pretty bad.

I basically said, "You just lost me." and turned my phone off. Next day I have a bunch of texts and get a call soon after and she apologized for the whole situation, told me it was selfish and that she had time to think and she really does want to be with me.

So I forgave her and things are good.
Well this morning I call her and she's being kinda mean. Apparently she had a dream about me and realized how much she missed me and needs me and we hung up kind of both in bad moods.

I get a text later saying, "I can't do this for another four months." Now this girl is amazing, everything I've always wanted and she was an awesome friend too.

I can trust her like no other, we have the same interests, like I said, perfect.

But she's just insecure. She grew up in a broken household, parents' divorced, kind of a weird upbringing.

She wanted to marry me so we could be together and she could move out here with me, but she's really worried about that too.
I'm just at a loss on what to do.... We're great when we're together, no arguing or anything, it's just this long distance...

I'd say f u to any other girl and move on but this one is just way different than any I've experienced. The only problem is her insecurities...

[Bojangles69]

BLOCK QUOTE EDIT OF ORIGINAL POST FOR EASIER READING

Alright, I want an outsiders opinion on my whole situation.

So I've been dating this girl for 7 months, long distance. I've known her two years prior to us dating and we were really good friends.
It was on leave from the military when I finally got the balls to make a move and it was a success.

We started dating soon after and four months down the line I come back on leave and we finally have sex and what not.

We constantly text throughout the day and usually have a long phone convo at night. Last time I was on leave she kept saying, marry me, marry me, and so I asked. She said yes and we made plans to marry and have a ceremony in July. Well July is four months away and here's my dilemma....

Throughout our long distance relationship she'll have these flare ups where she gets really insecure and says, "I can't do it anymore." As if she's breaking up with me.
She'll continue to text me I love you and the first time this happened she apologized and it was good.

It's happened a few times since then, the last was pretty bad.

I basically said, "You just lost me." and turned my phone off. Next day I have a bunch of texts and get a call soon after and she apologized for the whole situation, told me it was selfish and that she had time to think and she really does want to be with me.

So I forgave her and things are good.
Well this morning I call her and she's being kinda mean. Apparently she had a dream about me and realized how much she missed me and needs me and we hung up kind of both in bad moods.

I get a text later saying, "I can't do this for another four months." Now this girl is amazing, everything I've always wanted and she was an awesome friend too.

I can trust her like no other, we have the same interests, like I said, perfect.

But she's just insecure. She grew up in a broken household, parents' divorced, kind of a weird upbringing.

She wanted to marry me so we could be together and she could move out here with me, but she's really worried about that too.
I'm just at a loss on what to do.... We're great when we're together, no arguing or anything, it's just this long distance...

I'd say f u to any other girl and move on but this one is just way different than any I've experienced. The only problem is her insecurities...

Now that I can read it I'll respond lol

First problem I don't like is even though you "knew her" before you started dating, while you were dating, you went from a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP to the prospect of MARRAIGE.

Thats like standing at the bottom of a stairway and thinking you can jump to the top w/out tripping on the 4th step and cracking your ass open.
Which is what it looks like happening.

Its only logical, my brothers been in a long distance relationship for *7 years* and his girl has been pestering about marraige for a while now.
His LOGICAL response was, lets move in together for a year or 2 FIRST then see what happens.

Your response seems to have been "ok fvck it, lets just get married". This is why you don't jump the gun in a long distance relationship. EVEN WHEN you know the person people are ALWAYS changing and that intimate cohabitional stage is essential.

Also, don't think long distance is what is causing conflict and that when you're together its fine because it is now (or so you think/say).

If you move in together you could be cool for 2 weeks then start contemplating each others murder. Don't make assumptions on a situation that hasnt exactly happened yet. (living together for some time to test the waters)

Moreso, the general dialouge between the both of you seems like its lacking a certain degree of maturity and self esteem. If she has LSE (low self esteem) I can pretty much guarantee you will be miserable or soon divorced.

Do not date/marry LSE girls. If you are LSE don't date untill you are HSE and only date equally HSE women. If you see a lot of divorces you begin to understand how LSE always manages to play a major role. Its a cancer in a relationship.

At this point I would NOT marry this chick.
Id move in with her, see how things go, then MAYBE consider marraige. But marraige should be the LAST thing on your mind at this point. In my humble opinion.

-Bo

[LawMan018]

Thanks for the advice... And I would prefer to move in if it were under normal circumstances... I agree that we want to get married sooner then we should... It just sucks being stationed 1800 miles away...

Now that I can read it I'll respond lol

First problem I don't like is even though you "knew her" before you started dating, while you were dating, you went from a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP to the prospect of MARRAIGE.

Thats like standing at the bottom of a stairway and thinking you can jump to the top w/out tripping on the 4th step and cracking your ass open.
Which is what it looks like happening.

Its only logical, my brothers been in a long distance relationship for *7 years* and his girl has been pestering about marraige for a while now.
His LOGICAL response was, lets move in together for a year or 2 FIRST then see what happens.

Your response seems to have been "ok fvck it, lets just get married". This is why you don't jump the gun in a long distance relationship. EVEN WHEN you know the person people are ALWAYS changing and that intimate cohabitional stage is essential.

Also, don't think long distance is what is causing conflict and that when you're together its fine because it is now (or so you think/say).

If you move in together you could be cool for 2 weeks then start contemplating each others murder. Don't make assumptions on a situation that hasnt exactly happened yet. (living together for some time to test the waters)

Moreso, the general dialouge between the both of you seems like its lacking a certain degree of maturity and self esteem. If she has LSE (low self esteem) I can pretty much guarantee you will be miserable or soon divorced.

Do not date/marry LSE girls. If you are LSE don't date untill you are HSE and only date equally HSE women. If you see a lot of divorces you begin to understand how LSE always manages to play a major role. Its a cancer in a relationship.

At this point I would NOT marry this chick.
Id move in with her, see how things go, then MAYBE consider marraige. But marraige should be the LAST thing on your mind at this point. In my humble opinion.

-Bo

[Bojangles69]

Thanks for the advice... And I would prefer to move in if it were under normal circumstances... I agree that we want to get married sooner then we should... It just sucks being stationed 1800 miles away...

Yeh and I'm not sure if theres another lawman on this forum, but last avy I remember you having your chest was at least a thousand times smaller.

Looks fvcking great bro!

[bushido3374]

Alright, I want an outsiders opinion on my whole situation. Okay, so I've been dating this girl for 7 months, long distance. I've known her two years prior to us dating and we were really good friends. It was on leave from the military when I finally got the balls to make a move and it was a success. We started dating soon after and four months down the line I come back on leave and we finally have sex and what not. We constantly text throughout the day and usually have a long phone convo at night. Last time I was on leave she kept saying, marry me, marry me, and so I asked. She said yes and we made plans to marry and have a ceremony in July. Well July is four months away and here's my dilemma.... Throughout our long distance relationship she'll have these flare ups where she gets really insecure and says, "I can't do it anymore." As if she's breaking up with me. She'll continue to text me I love you and the first time this happened she apologized and it was good. It's happened a few times since then, the last was pretty bad. I basically said, "You just lost me." and turned my phone off. Next day I have a bunch of texts and get a call soon after and she apologized for the whole situation, told me it was selfish and that she had time to think and she really does want to be with me. So I forgave her and things are good. Well this morning I call her and she's being kinda mean. Apparently she had a dream about me and realized how much she missed me and needs me and we hung up kind of both in bad moods. I get a text later saying, "I can't do this for another four months." Now this girl is amazing, everything I've always wanted and she was an awesome friend too. I can trust her like no other, we have the same interests, like I said, perfect. But she's just insecure. She grew up in a broken household, parents' divorced, kind of a weird upbringing. She wanted to marry me so we could be together and she could move out here with me, but she's really worried about that too. I'm just at a loss on what to do.... We're great when we're together, no arguing or anything, it's just this long distance... I'd say f u to any other girl and move on but this one is just way different than any I've experienced. The only problem is her insecurities...

Long distance relationships aren't really legitimate relationships and for the most part good for temporary situations. don't think that you've gotten to know her as well over the phone as you would have if you spent time with her several times a week.

Everyone has insecurities. It could be a red flag, but I tend to see how they handle their insecurities (counseling?, self improvement books? accountability?) before letting it be a deal breaker.

Might want to consider taking your time on this one. Good luck to you either way.

[jbm]

long distance relationship is really kinda hard! IMO.

[Hunter]

Lawman018. We have not gotten along always and I found some of your posts childish. I will however give you my most honest post now.

You have always seemed girl crazy so to say. I believe from previous posts and this one you have a habit of sticking to what is comfortable and thats why I believe you tend to date alot of ex's more then once and from what I assume this girl is from your hometown/ hometown area. I only say this becouse it seems like a little bit of an insecurity.

If she does have her insecurities you have to make the decision are you willing to embrace them and help her work through them or if in two years your just gonna wanna cut and run. In which case you will most likely get fvcked in the divorce.

If you do really love her. I would suggest having her move in and then when you think you two are ready to get married, I would suggest marriage counseling in the months before you even think about announcing and planning it.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.

[Bojangles69]

Lawman018. We have not gotten along always and I found some of your posts childish. I will however give you my most honest post now.

You have always seemed girl crazy so to say. I believe from previous posts and this one you have a habit of sticking to what is comfortable and thats why I believe you tend to date alot of ex's more then once and from what I assume this girl is from your hometown/ hometown area. I only say this becouse it seems like a little bit of an insecurity.

If she does have her insecurities you have to make the decision are you willing to embrace them and help her work through them or if in two years your just gonna wanna cut and run. In which case you will most likely get fvcked in the divorce.

If you do really love her. I would suggest having her move in and then when you think you two are ready to get married, I would suggest marriage counseling in the months before you even think about announcing and planning it.
Good luck with whatever decision you make.

I laughed at that, do you really recommend that?
Shit, go get couseling RIGHT NOW!!

[Bojangles69]

everyone in here get counseling for reading this thread.

[Matt]

The only things that matter is if she gives good head, if she swollows and does she take it up the ass...
I also like chicks that let you shit on there chests and let you piss in their mouths...
If she does all of these then id marry her...

[RA]

Well that started out good. *vomits*

The only things that matter is if she gives good head, if she swollows and does she take it up the ass...
I also like chicks that let you shit on there chests and let you piss in their mouths...
If she does all of these then id marry her...