Question for recovering addicts

[jfalco]

Bojangles, I'm tempted to start pitching slogans at you, but I sort of agree with you about meetings. I think most people go to very few meetings once they're confident in their sobriety. NA meetings, at least in my area, suck. AA is much better. Although alcohol was never my drug of choice, I have only really found AA useful. For me it was more of a stepping stone. I learned a lot of important things there but I can't be around it much these days. Only times I really go is to bring someone these days.

[Phate]

I am in recovery. I had issues with Barbie dolls I did it kinda just trying stuff here and there but it never got in the way of my bodybuilding. I think BBing was always my one firm grasp, it held me from ever going over the edge. I had an od and almost died and have been totally sober ever since. After you reach a certain point you will see it becomes no fun at all. I used to dip tobacco too.. gave it up at the same time.
If you know you are an addict you must understand what your triggers are.
I am in AA/NA too. The AS that I take are all by dr supervision. I believe if you are not getting "high" you are fine.
Once you cross that line and get high you activate the pleasure/reward system and by doing so will trigger a relapse.

Not in a million years would I ever equate steroid use to a relapse. I used to use anal probes HEAVILY, and I would say building your body is one of the best forms of sobriety out there. I went to rehab, AA, NA and all that other shit, and from what I gathered a relapse is you going back to what you used to do. Just because you begin using another substance doesn't mean you're relapsed. Just like when you go to AA meetings and there's 300 people outside smoking, they're not relapsed, but they kept a habit in place of another one.

Sure Fat Chicks are fvckin awesome, but it's not worth throwing away all the time I've spent busting my ass in the gym and in the kitchen.

I don't know if I can say that stuff on these forums

anyone ever done munging here? b honest.. shit SUCKS don't it??

let's not turn this into a war stories session. we're pushing the limits of the rules just with the topic. we're not really supposed to talk about rec drug use.

the bolded words need to be edited in there respective posts, JFALCO, you also need to edit the quote in your above post(it's a quote from gappa)

thanks guys

[Gappa]

mine are edited!! sorry didn't know about the rec stuff

[jfalco]

thanks phate. i would have missed that.

[mho]

Yeh Jeff I hear you loud and clear.

Between the ages of 16-21 I had a deadly habit with speed and x (both of which I was producing in a lab)
Because I had unlimitied supplies I used so much that even now when I'm 26 I still have issues with my heart and the anxiety I can say has literally just began to level out like a year ago.

I did court mandated na, and prison mandated na (got busted for the lab/maintaining and operating a CDS production facility) and 2 rehabs, one in patient one out patient plus a 10 day stay in a detox/psych ward.

I stopped going to NA like 3 years ago because I believe it can create addicts the same exact way it can push active use into dormancy. On my own I relapsed several times, but rather then going to meetings again somehow I have managed to reach a point in my life where YES I am scared of drugs, but after a while they screw your life up so much that the logic of a nonaddict begins creeping into your mind.

Which is why I 100% disagree with the NA statement "once an addict always an addict".
Not to mention my hangup with all the steps, starting with #1.

If an addict chants to himself during meetings and in his head during the day "i am powerless over drugs and alcohol" over years then can create an identity that truely **IS** or believes it is powerless over drugs.

If you really aren't powerless to begin, then you can see how certain elements of NA can make you actually think more like an addict, which rationally should not be the goal.

As far as steroids I say absolutely not they don't apply, drug or w/e you call them people DO NOT take them for instant gratification, it still takes time, effort, patience and persitence for the payoff, unlike conventional street drugs.
Matter a fact, when I first started posting here fresh out of rehabs and prison, I would always see a certain member with the signature "steroids are my anti-drug" and in a crazy way that has become true for me over the years.

Its not just about steroids, its about a lifestyle directed towards health.
Its hard in your position cause in NA its near impossible to avoid that false social stigma many people cast over steroids.

And today its pretty cool cause I can go out every once and a while and get drunk but on monday its right back to the gym/diet/supplement or if Im on cycle that too. (which I wont be drinking on anyway)

But honestly the way religion can quell or calm an addiction steroids can too imo. Plus is the undeniable fact that a person with an addictive personality is about 1000 times better off in the gym then a person w/out one, cause they can do cardio for 3 hours straight and actually enjoy it lol

Do you sweat a lot more now than you used to? I never used to sweat, and now I get axillary sweat and palm sweat intermittantly for no reason at all. I also have very weak tolerances for stimulants like caffeine and pseudoephedrine now too. I put on a bunch of visceral fat when I finally quit for good too. Do/did you have any of these problems?

[T-MOS]

mine are edited!! sorry didn't know about the rec stuff

thank you ....

and as phate stated, the quotes need edited to

thanks guys !!!

and i agree with Phate's initial post

well said

[Gappa]

hey J do you attend meetings or have a sponsor?

[Phate]

thanks TMOS


btw guys, go back and reread my post 42, i did a little editing of mine own to lighten the mood

[CBGB]

Bojangles, I'm tempted to start pitching slogans at you, but I sort of agree with you about meetings. I think most people go to very few meetings once they're confident in their sobriety. NA meetings, at least in my area, suck. AA is much better. Although alcohol was never my drug of choice, I have only really found AA useful. For me it was more of a stepping stone. I learned a lot of important things there but I can't be around it much these days. Only times I really go is to bring someone these days.

My local hall has two and three meetings a day. There are guys there twice a day every day. Years of sobriety under their belt. I have often wondered what they are more addicted to. Alcohol or AA?

[Bojangles69]

I haven't read all the posts in here YET, but PLEASE keep in mind that there is NO REC DRUG TALK ALLOWED on this board.......so please make no mention of specifics....


so the posts that mention drugs, PLEASE edit so this thread can stay open
THANK YOU

What if we weren't doing them "recreationally" but like 20 times a day, cause I dont consider that recreational use anymore.

I think the word "recreation" just denotes the idea of partying and having illegal fun with them, but the side this thread is geared towards is why they're bad and have ruined peoples lives.
I can understand not being an advocate of a thread like "yo lets all go smoke some ______" but I think this is different.

Not trying to debate I know rules are rules just I know we can also sometimes have leniancy as well sometimes, if we just dont get out of hand with the references.

[Ernst]

When I quit using drvgs and alcohol years back I turned to weights because all of the sudden I had a lot of boredom combined with anger, frustration, and self loathing. Lifting became my outlet for that, and a way to feel better both mentally and physically. AAS followed as I became more enveloped by that lifestyle. The jump to the darkside was certainly made easier by the fact that I was no stranger to a drvg enhanced way of living, but in no way does it serve as a crutch for the rec drvgs of the past-- the weights alone are. Comparing AAS to body and mind-rotting street drvgs is impossible, they're nothing alike. I really think of it more as supplements that actually work.

I never went to AA or NA. I just finally reached a crossroads and that was it. I made my choice, and I'm happy with it.

[mho]

I think I edited mine adequately.

[Phate]

What if we weren't doing them "recreationally" but like 20 times a day, cause I dont consider that recreational use anymore.

I think the word "recreation" just denotes the idea of partying and having illegal fun with them, but the side this thread is geared towards is why they're bad and have ruined peoples lives.
I can understand not being an advocate of a thread like "yo lets all go smoke some ______" but I think this is different.

Not trying to debate I know rules are rules just I know we can also sometimes have leniancy as well sometimes, if we just dont get out of hand with the references.

there's the key phrase right there, just don't be specific

[Gappa]

rec drugs destroy lives,AS build a better person

[jbm]

I'm learning a lot from this thread! damn.....

[mho]

rec drugs destroy lives,AS build a better person

Unless your Lyle Alzado and steroids magically give you brain cancer.

[CBGB]

Must sleep. I look forward to seeing where this goes.
Thanks again J for bringing this up.

[Gappa]

Or Lynn Bias

[warchild]

yea pretty good thread to learn that most of us had drug/alcohol issues and now we do steroids ...

[Bojangles69]

Do you sweat a lot more now than you used to? I never used to sweat, and now I get axillary sweat and palm sweat intermittantly for no reason at all. I also have very weak tolerances for stimulants like caffeine and pseudoephedrine now too. I put on a bunch of visceral fat when I finally quit for good too. Do/did you have any of these problems?

HAHA yes! Absolutely.

I told my doctor Im actually allergic to ephedrine when Im not, and coffee makes me shake like Im having a seizure.

I also get random sweat palms, pits and sometimes butt lol. Even if Im not doing anything, I think its just damage to the CNS.
And have never been as lean as I was back then, just now I actually have muscle. So Id have to say yes about certain kinds of fat (not sure what visceral means).

I also had panic disorder for 3 years after stopping, problems walking in public w/out having them, GAD, all sorts of anxiety and paranoia, problems with insomnia, but I can finally say over the last couple of years things have started to finally get better.
I also made huge attempts on my own to better myself, like taking speech classes, doing PUA, therapy, meds (which Im all off now, they helped when I needed them).
Im just happy that the body does heal like doctors say, even if it takes years and years just the fear of always being in that state is like death.

[mho]

I like how you decorated your avatar jbm

[Bojangles69]

there's the key phrase right there, just don't be specific

Ok will do! Thanks

[T-MOS]

What if we weren't doing them "recreationally" but like 20 times a day, cause I dont consider that recreational use anymore.

I think the word "recreation" just denotes the idea of partying and having illegal fun with them, but the side this thread is geared towards is why they're bad and have ruined peoples lives.
I can understand not being an advocate of a thread like "yo lets all go smoke some ______" but I think this is different.

Not trying to debate I know rules are rules just I know we can also sometimes have leniancy as well sometimes, if we just dont get out of hand with the references.

I think you are intelligent enough to know the exact connotation of my statement, so don't act like an arrogant prick here

lets keep this thread alive for the good topic that it is and NOT turn it into a thread that will just get deleted for breaking the rules of the board

[jbm]

I like how you decorated your avatar jbm

Thanks!

[BritishColumbian]

Finally a decent thread, this was a long time coming, there has been alot of crap lately!

[Bojangles69]

I think you are intelligent enough to know the exact connotation of my statement, so don't act like an arrogant prick here

lets keep this thread alive for the good topic that it is and NOT turn it into a thread that will just get deleted for breaking the rules of the board

Why cant I just be cool like you for once and know how good it feels to boss people around?

but seriously I wasnt trying to be a prick. I just never realized you thought I was "intelligent enough" to understand your connotation in the first place. =]

[jfalco]

Never been to New York. I am an audiophile who sometimes has to watch the scene from a distance. The name also has a lot in common with my name.

I'm a couple of years too young to have been there myself, but man what I wouldn't give to have the talking heads rock that place back in the day.

[warchild]

guys lets be civil, this is a good thread so lets keep it open

[T-MOS]

Why cant I just be cool like you for once and know how good it feels to boss people around?

but seriously I wasnt trying to be a prick. I just never realized you thought I was "intelligent enough" to understand your connotation in the first place. =]

I don't consider what I do bossing. Just trying to give the OP a chance to keep his thread alive. Rec drug covers the drugs, not the frequency of use of those drugs.

Yes I think you are intelligent even if you don't show it all the time.....LOLOL

[Bojangles69]

I don't consider what I do bossing. Just trying to give the OP a chance to keep his thread alive. Rec drug covers the drugs, not the frequency of use of those drugs.

Yes I think you are intelligent even if you don't show it all the time.....LOLOL

lmao..

[jfalco]

thanks for all the responses guys. this conversation is a lot like what goes on at the best of meetings. It was exactly what I needed.

gotta go to bed now. need to do some growing.

[jfalco]

T-MOS, you're the man. You have a very thick skin.

[Bojangles69]

T-MOS, you're the man. You have a very thick skin.

Your not saying that cause of what I said to him I hope?

T-MOS knows I respect/am cool with him. May look different if you dont know that.

[mho]

T-MOS, you're the man. You have a very thick skin.

brown noser

[T-MOS]

Your not saying that cause of what I said to him I hope?

T-MOS knows I respect/am cool with him. May look different if you dont know that.

I didn't know that !!!.....but lets not hijack this thread anymore, it seems to be back on track

(gee there I go bossing around again).....lOLOLOLOL

[Bojangles69]

I didn't know that !!!.....but lets not hijack this thread anymore, it seems to be back on track

(gee there I go bossing around again).....lOLOLOLOL

I posted a thread about it yes you did! It was titled "how much Bo likes T-Mos" go look for it..

[jfalco]

Your not saying that cause of what I said to him I hope?

T-MOS knows I respect/am cool with him. May look different if you dont know that.

Just a gerneral comment based on several posts of his in several threads.

Inspired by you but not dirrected at you. The guy just never seems to loose it, and he puts up with a bunch of crap.

And he's currently on tren , so I think he's personally debunked the roid rage myth.

[Iron_Pig]

I have a buddy who is Addicted to BB can get big or strong enought, If he see's some dude bigger than him he goes ape shit.

[Dukkit]

drug addict here

always will be

now ive been clean from recreational drugs for over 4 years now.
but mentally... ill always be an addict

though AAS as helped me stay away from other drugs

takin my focus off partying and drugs

and putting it on gym and AAS

has literally saved my life

alot of my old friends i used to sell to, party with and so on... are dead.. and i partied harder then they did.

only thing that saved me was going to jail. then getting out and finding the gym lifestyle

[vpchill]

Its all about Willpower and a Strong support system. You cant continue to hang with the people who do drugs and drink if you want to stop. Do a friend edit and delete those people whom have negative affects on your Life.