My roommate's PISSING ON MY FLOOR!?!?

**samoth** · 12-13-2002, 01:08 PM

So after having a dorm room peacefully to myself for most of the semester, due to my first roommate moving out due to transferring schools, I am enjoying having the opportunity to be able to study without distraction, or to do some basic exercises, or to be able to eat all the tuna I want without someone two feet away complaining of the smell insisting protein isn’t necessary to build muscle. Anyway, get a new roommate moved in about a week and a half before the end of the semester (perfect shitty timing)… and he turns out to have been kicked out of the other dorm he was living in due to receiving his fourth fucking underage drinking ticket of the year. So I’m thinking, great, this isn’t going to work out, being roomed with a fat ass drunken slob who does nothing but watch TV and brag about missing class for the past three weeks. Since I’m not a drinker or partier much, I know he’s gonna try pulling some walk-in-at-3-in-the-morning-piss-ass-drunk-making-noise thing.
So yesterday I hit the sack around 11:30, with only one day of exams left. Said drunken roommate proceeds to enter the room around 2am and collapse immediately to his bed. Okay, whatever, as long as I get my sleep after a heavy ME squat day and needing to get up at 6:30am for class. But noooooo, the fat slob then gets up, walk over to my side of the room right next to my stereo system and computer, three feet away from my head, whip his shit out, and start PISSING ON THE GODDAMN FLOOR!! I hear this, flip the light on, and ask what the fuck he’s doing. Stupid question gets a stupid answer… he tells me “I’m pissin’, what th’ hell’s it look like?”. So I’m like, what the fuck… But nonetheless see the opportunity to get this tubby frat-wannabe kicked the hell outta my room. I go and get the CA, who calls the police, and by 3:30am there’s three of us sitting outside my fucking dorm room laughing our asses off at this drunk bastard getting his fifth underage ticket of about $750. Turns out he’s racked up a total of $2400 in drinking tickets this year alone. Funniest thing was his drunken attempt to coerce the cop out of his ticket. Telling a cop “This sucks, can you not ticket me this time” while slurring your words is not exactly charismatic enough to win over the cop who was laughing at this kid as much as we were.
I still gotta meet up with the head of the building to make sure chubby here is removed from my room. Got like two and a half hours of sleep last night… but I’m feeling fine now, after 100mg Ephedrine and 20mg Adderall and a shitload of caffeine.
Why the hell can’t college kids drink responsively? And why do they get piss ass drunk during exams week?? Fuck, I gotta transfer to a private school or something.

**MBaraso** · 12-13-2002, 01:27 PM

Lol I don't blame you for getting him tossed. I've lived w/ ppl like that and I know it's no picnic. The ppl that are partying hard during exam week are usually the ppl w/ below the 2.0's. Fuck em though. Your doing the right thing by studying and working hard. It'll pay off in the end when you got a good job and people like your fat roomate are flipping burgers.
Goodluck,

**Nibbe** · 12-13-2002, 01:38 PM

You should have stapled his dick to his stomach and then just kicked his balls all the way up his throat!

**nuke** · 12-13-2002, 01:51 PM

God that story about made my fucking daY !!

Sorry about your problems bro....Shit when I was in college we just kicked ass, no fines..I good aswhooping was enoough....BWaahhhhhh !!!

**Commando_Barbi** · 12-13-2002, 02:16 PM

My ex-husband did that one time....many years ago....only thank god.. he pissed in HIS sock drawer. The next morning I told him what he did and he didn't believe me until he went to put his socks on.

C.B.

**chicamahomico** · 12-13-2002, 02:24 PM

I peed on my buddy's rug one night after many, many drinks. Fortunately, no one cared. Everyone just lauged and laughed. Eh, shit happens right??

**Red Ketchup** · 12-13-2002, 02:31 PM

You should have just grabbed him by the back of the head and shoved his nose in the piss. BAD DOGGY! BAD DOGGY!

Seriously dude, you are big time patient... I would have flipped and put his head thru the door. Of course your way keeps ya out of trouble, keep that aggression for the gym

Red

**samoth** · 12-13-2002, 03:19 PM

Talked to the Residential Advisor just a few minutes ago... he's being removed from my room ASAP. Frankly, I hope they throw his ass out of college... not like he does anything productive there. It appears his enrollment status is being handled by the higher-ups, so none of us know what is really going to happen with the fat slob... which is fine by me, as long as he's outta my hair.
You guys have some wonderful ideas about how I *should* have handled the situation

however, he was right next to the window when he was doing this... and the window happened to be open enough to fit his crisco ass through.... hmm... running start... one shove and he's oooouuuuuuut the second floor window. Damn I shoulda done that

***Pheedno*** · 12-13-2002, 03:29 PM

His parents must me so proud of their "crisco ass", floor pissin, class flunkin, incoherent, underage pooter.

Allthough I have pissed on my friends floor as well about 6 years ago. He got even by shaving my head. What a dick

**jeffylyte** · 12-13-2002, 04:06 PM

hey i used to get wasted during finals week and kep a 3.8 in chem and phys. of course i did my drinking AFTER my tests were done (except once when my finals schedule was mon, tues and mon...seriously i had 5 days to wait for my last one). of course the age was 18 then so it was perfectly legal.

never pissed on the floor though. on somebodies head from in a tree-house, but never the floor. (is it raining?)

**dern180** · 12-13-2002, 06:55 PM

I have a story like this my freind was staying with me for a couple of days and one night he come into my bedroom drunk ,passed out. Then like a few hours later wakes up and walks to the closest. Gets his bag takes a piss in his bag all over his stuff. Mean while I hear this and think I'm dreaming until the next day when I checked his bag and found it was full of piss.Thank god the bag was made out of vinyl.

**Red Ketchup** · 12-13-2002, 08:23 PM

Originally posted by Pheedno
His parents must me so proud of their "crisco ass", floor pissin, class flunkin, incoherent, underage pooter.

What I completely fail to understand is how someone can be so irresponsible as to just blow their chance thru college like that.

I mean don't get me wrong, I was MORE than my share of a party animal in college, and to this day 10+ years later I am sure my liver still hasn't forgiven me, but there was a time to party, and a time to work your damm ass off.

It boggles the mind... I guess it's too easy to waste ones parents money. I'm sure if that slob had to really earn every single dollar for his tuition/board/expenses he'd be hitting the books pretty hard.

Red

**BMANN** · 12-14-2002, 07:32 AM

Originally posted by Red Ketchup
You should have just grabbed him by the back of the head and shoved his nose in the piss. BAD DOGGY! BAD DOGGY!

Holy shit! That would be funny as hell.

**IronCy** · 12-14-2002, 08:52 PM

That is some of the funniest shit I think I have ever heard, I feel for you bro! At least things are looking better---for you at least.

-Cy

**clockworks** · 12-15-2002, 01:26 AM

haha, funny story. at least he got what he deserved.

and btw, welcome to college...=) i had 3 roommates like that my freshman year (not nearly as dick headish as yours sounds, but 3 loud rowdy drunk frat kids). the one that lived in my room took a piss while he was drunk and half asleep in the hallway. another one pissed in the middle of the living room floor while sober cuz he "just didn't give a fuck". 2 of em got 0.0 gpa's and got kicked outta school. the other one is in grad school for business now...go figure...=)

appearently its a common thing for people get up in the middle of night when drunk and piss in weird places. a friend of mine's roommate pissed in the utensils drawer in the kitchen and on a seperate occasion, in my friend's laundry basket.

in highschool a friend of mine pissed in a pot in my other friend's family's walkin pantry.

whats with these people?

-- clocky baby

**Strut99GT** · 12-16-2002, 10:40 AM

Oh, but the utensil drawer story is SOOOO much funnier than just that...it's like "the drunk odyssey." I'm too lazy to type it all out, though.

**clockworks** · 12-16-2002, 09:10 PM

Originally posted by Strut99GT
Oh, but the utensil drawer story is SOOOO much funnier than just that...it's like "the drunk odyssey." I'm too lazy to type it all out, though.

haha, you might wanna make note that it wasn't >you< who peed in the drawer...it was one of our other friends...=)

--clocky baby