what to think about wife

**GetTheRage** · 07-12-2009, 03:07 PM

If your not happy either is she.
I guarantee shes not loyal no matter what she says or you think.
I would have kept watching the facebook stuff and kept it too myself.
Cause now shes talking to him through a differnt way you can't track.

**Iron_Pig** · 07-12-2009, 04:53 PM

What else is she keeping from you dude you have to ask yourself that, Once she starts doing this she will keep doing it I have been there bro.

**Lightsout2184** · 07-12-2009, 05:55 PM

well if u were able to read a month and a half in emails and there wasnt anything other then come up to my work i wouldnt worry about it. clients is a big form of being a bartender. i know a lot of married women who email me and say hey im bartending tonight come by because they know i will tip well. since ive actually owned a giant night club and also a sports bar i have seen this happen a million times. bartenders play guys in a less slutty version of a stripper.

**jamyjamjr** · 07-12-2009, 07:26 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

First im sure you know you had no right to look into her inbox.

This is a tough call since all this info was taken out of context. Do you trust her ?

bullshit D, any evidence that is incriminating towards cheating or disrespect like that should come out

that's karma bitches....

i say u make her pay up for it...

**gst528i** · 07-12-2009, 08:01 PM

You may think about this as a long term. Sure you don't want the kids to have separated parents.. But what about after. Think long term. What happens 3 year or 9 years from now. Will you ever be able to let go? or will you always suspect her of infidelity.
I AGREE WITH TMOS. Maybe she didn't actually have a sexual relationship, but emotianal counts when you're in a marriage for such a long period of time....
Ofcourse this all depends ON WHATS ON THOSE EMAILS.
Since we don't know you will have to judge ..
Either way hope it works out in YOUR and ur Kids best interest.

**gixxerboy1** · 07-12-2009, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by Lightsout2184

well if u were able to read a month and a half in emails and there wasnt anything other then come up to my work i wouldnt worry about it. clients is a big form of being a bartender. i know a lot of married women who email me and say hey im bartending tonight come by because they know i will tip well. since ive actually owned a giant night club and also a sports bar i have seen this happen a million times. bartenders play guys in a less slutty version of a stripper.

exactly

**Altoidmike** · 07-12-2009, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by l2elapse

what exactly was said in the emails? is it sexual?

This whole thread is useless with peoples opinions of how they would go about it, since we don't even know what was in the emails besides you. If you can summarize the emails, you know; very flirty or is it just a friend of hers? You need to give more information if you want advice.

What I would do is, go to the bar and confront the guy obviously don't let her know you might show up one night. You know the times he goes there.

REMEMBER: THE WORST PLACE TO BE IS IN YOUR OWN MIND.

EDIT: I just read your last sentence saying that you have not been happy for the last 5 years. When one person in a marriage is not happy the other is not, all I can tell you is she might be throwing her hook back into the pond.. I know its not very easy for you to swallow the thought I've been through some rough breakups. But you have to know is that most marriages do not last, my parents are divorced its what happens in life. I'm sure what ever happens in your marriage you, your kids and wife will get back onto their feet. If you can get over this speed bump that would be great you just need to talk to her.

**ray0414** · 07-12-2009, 10:34 PM

well the truth is, the situation you described is how cheating begins. it has to start somewhere, and thats a perfect set up for an affair to happen. one thing leads to another and next thing you know someone makes a move. by chance did u happen to see this other guys page? maybe hes a big fat nasty guy that doesnt stand a chance anyways, sometimes u can look at someone and KNOW hes not a threat and maybe it is indeed a just friends thing. but if the guy is someone attractive then u should be on alert.

**Immortal Soldier** · 07-12-2009, 10:54 PM

Originally Posted by Lightsout2184

well if u were able to read a month and a half in emails and there wasnt anything other then come up to my work i wouldnt worry about it. clients is a big form of being a bartender. i know a lot of married women who email me and say hey im bartending tonight come by because they know i will tip well. since ive actually owned a giant night club and also a sports bar i have seen this happen a million times. bartenders play guys in a less slutty version of a stripper.

That's what I was thinking, unless the e-mails showed they hung outside of work than you don't have anything to go by. But the fact that she didn't tell you that she invites dudes to her bar to make more cash makes it sketchy nonethless.

**DSM4Life** · 07-13-2009, 04:38 AM

**numbat** · 07-13-2009, 05:04 AM

I hate seeing threads like this.

These type of situations bring out the worst in people and you can end up questioning so many things. For me, there is nothing worse than feeling like shits going down behind my back and assholes are playing me. (Though i can't recall feeling this way unless a woman is involved.)

The time has come man and it's time to put out or get out.

I know it usually takes more than one meltdown to seal the deal, and that's unmarried with no children.

Be strong and stay true to yourself. This could be a sign of unnerving times ahead.

**chicmagnet** · 07-13-2009, 06:28 AM

You need to sort this out, as for the kids it's better to have 2 happy homes than 1 unhappy one.

**MMArmour** · 07-13-2009, 10:07 AM

Bro, she is asking for it. She is going to have the balls to be emailing other men on YOUR laptop?! She has no respect. You have every right to be pissed off and you deserve more justification than what it appears she was giving him. If i was you however id have played this much differently. Id have just shown up when I knew this clown was going to be at her work, then confront them both. But this is bullshit. She stepped the line completely.

**Misery13** · 07-13-2009, 10:43 AM

time to go...

**paulzane** · 07-13-2009, 12:36 PM

The seven year itch!!

**spywizard** · 07-13-2009, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by hockeyguy

Ok so here is the situation guys. The wife used my work laptop one day and got on her facebook page. My computer saved her login so a few weeks after I thought I go on and her page and check it out. So I find in her inbox that she had been emailing this guy for about a month to a month and a half talking about all kinds off things. The shit that through me off the wall was she would be inviting him up to her work (bartender) twice a week. He would ask when she works next and she would give the times she will be there. She works 2-3 times a week and just aout every night she worked they would email that day and this would take place. Keep in mind this is not a family friend or someone I have met. We have been married for about 7 years now and I was always the type of guy that didn't care much about who she talked to. She says nothing happened but I don't know. All I know is I'm so pissed and I think the tren is playing with my mind but I feel like breaking you face. Would this piss you off or am I over reacting? Also I have not been very happy in the marriage for the past 5 years and she knows that but we have two kids and I can't imagine not seeing them every day.

??? not sure why you wouldn't see the kids everyday???

I'd talk to her about it, but i'd go about it a different way..

"Honey, i have something to tell you, I don't know why i haven't told you about it before now, but i've met this girl at work that you don't know, we talk and stuff, she's really fun to be with. I know that you have been calling some guy that i don't know, and since i know about him, i thought it only fair that you know about her.. "

"I assume it's ok that we have a open relationship since that seems to be what you need, i'd prefer that we be monogamous, but it's your call."

**spywizard** · 07-13-2009, 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

now now.. felony destruction of private property is not the answer.. nor is violence.. keep the kids, keep the wife, keep the marriage.. but it's time to dip your wick...

**matrick** · 07-13-2009, 02:56 PM

just find out when they meet the next time and show up around 15 minutes later, as a surprise. "hey I just thought I'll visit you at work" etc. then you can see what kind of relationship they have in reality.

**JinNtonic** · 07-13-2009, 03:12 PM

I wouldnt of said shit. I would have found out when the dude was going up to see her then I would of watched what went on. do that 2, 3 times and make your own conclusion.

Oh well.