Another "My wife" thread......

[Hazard]

I don't even really know where to start...... Our 1st year married was awesome. Everything after that..... has pretty much sucked. We're going on our 2 year anniversary. A lot has happened but today she has pushed my last nerve...... here's the "quick summary"

The glands in her neck were swollen so she went to the doctor. He tells her that she's either got limes disease or mono but she needs to get bloodwork done to determine which one. She f*ckin gets home and starts accusing me of cheating on her!!!!! She said "mono is a kissing disease and i had to have gotten it from you so who did YOU get it from" - i immediately told her that was even retarded to say and who's to say she didn't get it from someone else LOL......

Anyways..... she tells me that me going out with friends at night on weekends (once every 3 or 4 weeks) is enough reason for her to suspect something because married men don't do that. They don't goto clubs/bars...... blah blah blah. I don't goto rock concerts...... i don't goto strip clubs..... Once in a while i will goto a big NYC club to see a guest DJ who I like. My friends are into that stuff.... i am.... and always have been. I don't go cruising for women and i certainly havn't cheated. The frustrating thing is I am being accused of it..... it's really p*ssing me off. I invite her to come anywhere i go with my friends and she ALWAYS wants to stay home. THATS NOT MY F*CKIN FAULT!!!!!

On another note..... she keeps telling me shes caught me lying to her yet she wont tell me what i'm "lying" about. A few months ago - she said she was going to tan and then come home and we'd go shopping for clothes for the cruise that my parents bought her for her birthday. (she was with my mother and sister - not alone lol) - 4 hours later she calls me and tells me shes done tanning. I asked her if it took 4 hours to tan and she told me there were no beds available..... i was like.... "uh..... so you sat there for 4 hours..... without complaining..... or calling me to tell me????" - needless to say i told her i knew she was lying..... her breath smelt like alcohol..... and she never did tell me what she did.

I've been with her for a total of 7..... almost 8 years..... married for 2. I thought i knew her like the back of my hand..... since that ring went on..... sh*t went downhill. I don't know what to do - sometimes i feel like i'd be happier alone..... no relationships..... just some strange - no strings attached ass...... i'd have all the time to really concentrate on my body/diet. At the same time..... i don't know what i'd do without her. There have been sooo many posotives...... but it's starting to balance out..... 50/50. I'm not sure how much more I can take......

*rant off* - sorry for the long post guys..... and before MadMatt starts with his comments............ :


~Haz~

[*RAGE*]

I feel your pain and have for years, most here know I have been married several times and this time I really thought it was the one but then again I thought that before.

She is driving me crazy and I am happiest when she is at work and no where around me. I may have a job coming up out of country and I will take that time to decide which way I want to go..

It is not easy but sometimes it is easier to cut your loses and move on...

[jamyjamjr]

damn.. makes me not wanna get married...

since you have no proof of her cheating i wouldn't jump to conclusions...

i would get some counciling or something bro.. u need to sit down with her and see what really wrong...

[Mooseman33]

the sky is blue, water is wet, and women are fvkin nuts......

i just broke my engagement off cause after the ring went on, she was a totally different person..
shit will never change bro....and so u know, there are several ways to get mono..

good luck bro

[Iron_Pig]

damn.. makes me not wanna get married...

since you have no proof of her cheating i wouldn't jump to conclusions...

i would get some counciling or something bro.. u need to sit down with her and see what really wrong...

I with jamy on this bro get counciling

[fitluv09]

i agree with counseling.. if it doesn't work in the end, at least you did what you could to fix it. good luck!

[Matt]

I want jelly beans, give them to me.......

NOW

[T-MOS]

I want jelly beans, give them to me.......

NOW

[Matt]

Thank you lol, i feel better now...

[JinNtonic]

TRUST is HUGE, if she is gonna accuse you of cheating then you might as well do it if your already getting blamed for it.

Or at least thats what I tell my wife, and she tends to shut up pretty quick. If you dont want the significant other to cheat then do what it takes to keep them happy...

[JinNtonic]

TRUST is HUGE, if she is gonna accuse you of cheating then you might as well do it if your already getting blamed for it.

Or at least thats what I tell my wife, and she tends to shut up pretty quick. If you dont want the significant other to cheat then do what it takes to keep them happy...

[JinNtonic]

Thank you lol, i feel better now...

Those are not part of a good diet bro...

[Hoggage_54]

If she doesn't trust you after 8 years, there are some serious issues you either don't know or didn't tell us.

[Matt]

Those are not part of a good diet bro...

I know lol, its all in the name of science...

[ninesecz]

sounds just like the relationship I was in for 12 years! Everything was my fault and she was perfect I got accused of cheating every 5 minutes and I never went out or did anything! I went to Atlantic City with a friend who liked to play around with Hookers So that Automatically meant I got a Hummer While i was there too! I could never win! Fortunately /Unfortunately She Died in a car accident and that part of my life is over now and I will neer let another girl walk on me like that ever again!

[Hazard]

idunno guys...... theres definately a lot more sh*t but this was just a quick summary of whats going on. For the past 7 years or so we both trusted eachother.... i NEVER EVER questioned her..... she never questioned me. This stuff started to turn south when i started getting strict with working out again. It seemed to me like she wanted me to be a couch potato.....

Whats really bothering me is that she always used to tell me that the "guys" who acuse their girlfriends/wives of cheating are usually the ones cheating themselves because of their "guilty conscience" - SHE'S DOING JUST THAT! but when I bring that sh*t up to her she says that it's different in her case because she's been through this before with other guys and she can read the signs.

It's a no win situation im afraid. I'm glad we don't have kids yet..... but it's just so hard thinkin about having to sell the house..... leave the dog with her..... all the court sh*t i'm going to have to deal with. She has a psychiatrist that she is talking to..... she's got a severe depression disorder. I suppose I could have her ask her psych to recommend a counselor. We'll see how tonight goes I guess.....

~Haz~

[DSM4Life]

[Chitown Raider]

idunno guys...... theres definately a lot more sh*t but this was just a quick summary of whats going on. For the past 7 years or so we both trusted eachother.... i NEVER EVER questioned her..... she never questioned me. This stuff started to turn south when i started getting strict with working out again. It seemed to me like she wanted me to be a couch potato.....

Whats really bothering me is that she always used to tell me that the "guys" who acuse their girlfriends/wives of cheating are usually the ones cheating themselves because of their "guilty conscience" - SHE'S DOING JUST THAT! but when I bring that sh*t up to her she says that it's different in her case because she's been through this before with other guys and she can read the signs.

It's a no win situation im afraid. I'm glad we don't have kids yet..... but it's just so hard thinkin about having to sell the house..... leave the dog with her..... all the court sh*t i'm going to have to deal with. She has a psychiatrist that she is talking to..... she's got a severe depression disorder. I suppose I could have her ask her psych to recommend a counselor. We'll see how tonight goes I guess.....

~Haz~

Good luck bro...

[higherdesire]

I recently watched FireProof marraige, and then had someone send me the book out of the blue, and let me tell you friend, it had an impact on my relationship. It is much quicker than counseling. Rent the video and watch it WITH HER. Don't tell her she needs it or that you need it just ask her to watch it with you. THen re think your next move. Good luck bro, it can be worked out, no matter what it is.

[firmechicano831]

bro i think you both need couseling like people mentioned above but if you're not in love with her or dont feel comfortable with her just move on. Good luck

[thegodfather]

sounds just like the relationship I was in for 12 years! Everything was my fault and she was perfect I got accused of cheating every 5 minutes and I never went out or did anything! I went to Atlantic City with a friend who liked to play around with Hookers So that Automatically meant I got a Hummer While i was there too! I could never win! Fortunately /Unfortunately She Died in a car accident and that part of my life is over now and I will neer let another girl walk on me like that ever again!

Is that for real? I sure as hell hope not....


Anyway...Chicks with mental problems are a no go. Women are already crazy as f*ck without having any medically recognized mental disorders, thats like adding jet fuel to a fire my man. I avoid chicks who need to take any kind of medication for depression/GAD/SAD/etc/etc....They are a lost fu*kin cause, let someone else deal with that shit!

[ray0414]

have u ever heard the saying that when you cheat, it makes you start suspecting the other of cheating?? maybe thats why shes so quick to start accusing you, cuase she already has cheated.

[KatsMeow]

First of all it sounds like she has gotten very insecure, has she gained weight or fallen into a depression?

And she needs to understand that you can get mononeucleosis from a water fountain and that nearly 50% of people carry mono and just do not have exacerbations of it until their immune system becomes to week or it is activated in the Central Nervous System by stress.

I think watching the fireproof marriage video might have an impact like higerdesire mentioned. I'm not married and I haven't been before so I don't have too much of a perspective on this but I know that women tend to be irrational and it's usually because they are insecure about something. This is much deeper than her being sick and I think it's important for you to really have some long talks with her and try to figure out what is really going on.

Good Luck and keep us posted.

[J-Dogg]

So she caught you lying.....but won't tell you?

She is burying shit, and she hates you every time she looks at you because it's eating her up.

I recently caught the tail end of a Chris Rock stand up.

He said:

"You know why I know marriages won't work? Because women drive us nut! You know why I know that? Because Nelson Mandela (SP?) got a divorce! The man was a POW, kicked, starved, and beaten for 26 ****ing years! He got out of POW camp, was married 6 months, and said "I can't stand this bitch!""

[Immortal Soldier]

1. The fact she keeps saying you are cheating means she has a guilty conscience, I have a feeling she has cheated. Now she is trying to catch you cheating so she doesnt feel so horrible about it.
2. The fact that you are getting serious about workouts is putting her off, she sees you becoming physically better in appearance and is intimidated thinking you will leave her.
3. Leave her
4. Leave her
5. Leave her
6. I really think you should end it

[CptAmericaX]

Counsiling seems eh. i duno dude. My wife thinks we need it because I hit her to much and I told her it would just cause problems with the cops

[Bojangles69]

Yeh I'm just gonna copy and paste an excellent read that went through my mind when I read this, which is what I think your womans deal iis.

There is no black and white, and there are various degrees, but at the extremes, I have found the following to be true of high self esteem (HSE) women and low self esteem (LSE) women:

- LSE women are insecure and seek validation from men. - HSE women are secure in themselves and have nothing to prove.

- LSE women have a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled. - HSE women are self fulfilled.

- LSE women will manipulate a man to make him meet her needs. - HSE women know exactly what they want in a man, and when they find one enjoy who he is.

- LSE women are quick to obtain their man's tokens of devotion, such as expensive gifts or immediately requiring a monogamous relationship. - HSE women are suspicious of expensive gifts early on, and do not decide that they want a relationship with the man until she gets to know him well.

- LSE women would steal a man if it would give her validation. - HSE women are not at all interested in another woman's man.

- LSE women trade sex for attention and for verification that they are attractive and worthy. - For HSE women, sex is about sharing and celebrating sexuality.

- LSE women respond to being treated poorly in an attempt to prove their worthiness. - HSE women expect to be treated well and respond only to that.

- For a LSE woman, it's not about the man, it's about her own needs. - For a HSE woman, it's about what her and her man enjoy together.

- LSE women blame their problems on other people. They have the victim mentality. - HSE women assume personal responsibility for their own lot in life.

- LSE women are motivated by moving away from bad. - HSE women are motivated by moving towards good.

- LSE women must control others by manipulation. - HSE women see that as unhealthy.

- LSE women are drama queens. - HSE women seek harmony.

- LSE women have a warped sense of deservedness. - HSE women have a healthy sense of deservedness.

Self-esteem is formed early in life and takes years to develop. A woman's biggest influence in her developing years are her parents, and it is her father that has the most important influence. It is through him that she acquires the ability, or lack of ability, to have an emotionally healthy relationship with men.

A woman who had a close relationship with her father when she was a little girl is what I call a 'Daddy's Girl.' Her father was loving and caring. He believed in her and supported her. He taught her to be self reliant, independent, and to believe in herself. He may have even taught her how to throw a baseball or throw a punch. She thus grew up with a high self-esteem, a healthy relationship with men, and a good sense of deservedness. She is thus emotionally healthy and believes that she deserves to be treated well by men. Interestingly, she is also very skilled at influencing men and making a man feel emotionally close to her.

Her relationship with her father goes through stages. As a little girl, she loves him dearly and looks up to him. When the taboo instinct sets in at about age 14, she becomes independent from him and sees him as the biggest dork in the world. By the time she matures into the age of legal adult, she again adores him and cares about him dearly. But at any age, she always wants him to see her as innocent and pure, and she wants him to continue to be proud of her.

This is in contrast to another woman who had a condescending or absent father. Such a woman is incapable of forming a deep emotional bond with a man. She has a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled. She believes that she deserves to be treated poorly by men, though she expects being showered with attention and material gifts. She is often spotted in the company of men that view women as objects.

Her relationship with her mother is also important. I have known daddy's girls who had mothers that were total emotional basket cases and made very bad decisions for themselves. In those cases, the young women tend to make bad decisions for themselves. To a large extent, women tend to repeat the same successes or failures of their mothers. Such daddy's girls display some of the typical traits of a daddy's girl, but they make mistakes such as having no direction in life. The very best women are those who had two good parents in a good relationship.

A Daddy's Girl has a good sense of deservedness. Deservedness is what a woman believes she deserves for herself. She believes that she deserves to experience wonderful pleasure, and she believes that she deserves you. She will be your best ally. She will be rooting for you.

The opposite is a bad sense of deservedness. (Note: everybody has A sense of deservedness.) An example of a bad sense of deservedness is a woman who stays with a controlling or abusive man. Therefore, one of the quickest ways to obtain much information about a woman is to note the men she associates with.

If the woman does not have a good sense of deservedness, you will be forever frustrated, your energy will be constantly drained, and the relationship is doomed. She cannot appreciate a good man when she has one. She will sabotage the relationship and eventually leave for some scum that she believes she deserves. If you aren't a psychiatrist or a therapist, there's not much you can do about it. And even then, if she's not motivated to self improvement, it's futile.

Someone once asked me "What is the equivalent in a man? Is it his relationship with his mother?" This recent post on the Internet may shed some light:

"I'm 34, I've slept with over 100 women. I haven't developed strong feelings for any of them, until my first girlfriend. She recently broke up with me. After the breakup, I became obsessed. I emailed her constantly, tried to get in touch with her all the time, started chain smoking and drinking, thought about suicide, stopped eating for a week, stopped sleeping, stopped exercising. I had only one goal: GET HER BACK and MARRY HER! I also realized that I communicated to my girlfriend the same way I communicated to my mother as a child. My mother would insult me, criticize me, yell at me, threaten to leave me. And I would never respond. I would tell her nothing, even though I wanted to say many things to her. I can see now that my entire life has been lived with the fear of intimacy and abandonment by a woman. That is why I'm good at pickup - I leave the emotions aside and go for the close. Only problem is: that has become totally empty to me now. I've had enough sex with multiple partners. I'm ready to be with one woman only."

As you can see, self-esteem is critically important for a healthy sexual relationship. And just because a woman is smoking hot, does not mean she has a low self esteem or a high self esteem. Similarly, just because a woman is average looking does not mean anything about her self esteem.

Over the years I developed reliable ways to determine which women have a high self esteem. One of the best and most reliable tests for a good self esteem is to pay her a compliment and see how she responds. If she belittles the compliment or down plays it, I know she has a low self esteem. The compliment will tend to break rapport, as it should. But if she takes the compliment well, such as responding with a genuine "Thank you!" then it may be possible that she has a good self esteem. The compliment will tend to increase rapport, as it should. "

[slugtastic]

ive been with my girl for 7 1/2 years and she is breaking balls for me to prepose.... after reading your thread i think she'll have to wait 10 years for that..... hey but nothing wrong with a little harmless cheating>>>>> (as long as the woman isn't doing it!)

[0tolerance]

well perhaps shes cheated on you and is accusing you of cheating in the hope that you admit to it so that she wont feel as guilty/pathetic.

[normaljoe]

I have been married 15 years, so I'm not an expert yet. In my experience we have not had any issue my wife and I could not work out by talking. Except infidelity. There would be no working that out, just walking out.

Don't blow up here about it, Set aside some time with HER and talk about it. Maybe all she wants is you to spend that 3rd weekend a month camping in a pop up at the state park with her, and not out drinking with the guys. Who knows. You have to ask, and ask again, and again, some times it can take days or weeks of trying for my wife and I to get on the same page and ready to talk about "the real problem" when they come up.

You sure won't EVER have a successful relationship if you deal with your private issues by talking to the general public. You have to handle it by communicating with her.

Trust me, unless you want to be doing a lot of this you should get serious about the , but what do I know, I have only been married once.

Also keep in mind it's OK to talk and understand where the frustration is coming from, and saying, "I love you, and I will always be the best partner I can be, but regarding this issue, we are going to have to agree, to disagree. Please respect my individuality and allow me the freedom to be happy and enjoy my "thing""

My wife doesn't like everything I do. I wouldn't' have been to hot after her is she just bowed to my whims. I think she spends too much on books and should go to the library (she spends 2x on books what I spend on gear and supplements!) But it's a partnership, give and take, Yin/Yang all that crap. It takes 2 to make it work, but only 1 to **** it all up.

[Mase33]

Been with my wife for 8 years also and married for 5 of those. Our relationship was a lot like yours. Always bitching that im not this and im not that. Do like I did. Tell her to get the fvck out and dont let the door hit her in the ass on the way. That shows them that you dont give a rats ass if she goes or stays. Needless to say my wife didnt go and things are getting better between us.

[Hazard]

We have talked..... again and again and again...... but we never get anywhere when we talk because everytime we talk EVERYTHING is my fault LOL - i refuse to beliueve our marriage is failing because of JUST me......

ok get this..... this is what she said to me last week "you don't do sh*t around here..... NOTHING...... you just workout, hang-out with friends, and do what you want..... but you don't care about this house or me....."

Now thats certainly not true..... here's a list of sh*t i do

1) all the laundry
2) cook dinner
3) maintain the grass and outside of the house
4) take care of our cars (oil changes, brakes)
5) Take care of major problems with house (Put on a new roof, installed new water heater)
6) SOMETIMES do the dishes..... not all the time tho.

I DO NOT and i'm sorry.... WILL NOT vaccuum the f*ckin floors/rugs, dust, clean the bathroom...... how much more do i need to do? I hate having to measure how much I do compared to her but she always does this to me - and i had to start keeping track of what I did around the house because, like most guys, i don't have information stored in my head just "in case" we have an arguement. I swear to god - women win arguments because they don't make sense when the fight with you. Theres no way to reason with sh*t that doesn't make sense.....

regarding her depression - shes had it as a child and it got better. When her father passed 4 years ago it got worse and has never been the same. The thing is..... I love her...... always will..... we've worked through problems shes had in the past. This time tho..... shes attacking ME..... what I do..... what I enjoy. It's very hard for me to "conversate" with someone who's constantly telling me what I'M doing wrong..... or how i'm f*cking with her head..... I try..... i bite my tongue..... sometimes i flip my cork and threaten to leave.

Another thing she tells me is that if I don't appreciate her then tell her because theres a guy out there that will...... SERIOUSLY......? WTF.....? I'm getting to the point of offering the next guy I see $100 to spend an hour with her.....

I've got a lot of patience..... i've been trying to work through this with her..... i think i'm going to have to look into this video. I need SOMETHING..... her own familly tells me they don't know how i can put up with her sometimes..... they also agree that she hasn't been like this but they don't know where it came from.....

I told her today we could go and get a nice dinner then watch the new harry potter movie (she loves them)(i wont lie..... i do too) - we'll see how tonite goes again lol

~Haz~

[Immortal Soldier]

We have talked..... again and again and again...... but we never get anywhere when we talk because everytime we talk EVERYTHING is my fault LOL - i refuse to beliueve our marriage is failing because of JUST me......

ok get this..... this is what she said to me last week "you don't do sh*t around here..... NOTHING...... you just workout, hang-out with friends, and do what you want..... but you don't care about this house or me....."

Now thats certainly not true..... here's a list of sh*t i do

1) all the laundry
2) cook dinner
3) maintain the grass and outside of the house
4) take care of our cars (oil changes, brakes)
5) Take care of major problems with house (Put on a new roof, installed new water heater)
6) SOMETIMES do the dishes..... not all the time tho.

I DO NOT and i'm sorry.... WILL NOT vaccuum the f*ckin floors/rugs, dust, clean the bathroom...... how much more do i need to do? I hate having to measure how much I do compared to her but she always does this to me - and i had to start keeping track of what I did around the house because, like most guys, i don't have information stored in my head just "in case" we have an arguement. I swear to god - women win arguments because they don't make sense when the fight with you. Theres no way to reason with sh*t that doesn't make sense.....

regarding her depression - shes had it as a child and it got better. When her father passed 4 years ago it got worse and has never been the same. The thing is..... I love her...... always will..... we've worked through problems shes had in the past. This time tho..... shes attacking ME..... what I do..... what I enjoy. It's very hard for me to "conversate" with someone who's constantly telling me what I'M doing wrong..... or how i'm f*cking with her head..... I try..... i bite my tongue..... sometimes i flip my cork and threaten to leave.

Another thing she tells me is that if I don't appreciate her then tell her because theres a guy out there that will...... SERIOUSLY......? WTF.....? I'm getting to the point of offering the next guy I see $100 to spend an hour with her.....

I've got a lot of patience..... i've been trying to work through this with her..... i think i'm going to have to look into this video. I need SOMETHING..... her own familly tells me they don't know how i can put up with her sometimes..... they also agree that she hasn't been like this but they don't know where it came from.....

I told her today we could go and get a nice dinner then watch the new harry potter movie (she loves them)(i wont lie..... i do too) - we'll see how tonite goes again lol

~Haz~

You know what will teach her a lesson? Posting her picture on here

[thegodfather]

We have talked..... again and again and again...... but we never get anywhere when we talk because everytime we talk EVERYTHING is my fault LOL - i refuse to beliueve our marriage is failing because of JUST me......

ok get this..... this is what she said to me last week "you don't do sh*t around here..... NOTHING...... you just workout, hang-out with friends, and do what you want..... but you don't care about this house or me....."

Now thats certainly not true..... here's a list of sh*t i do

1) all the laundry
2) cook dinner
3) maintain the grass and outside of the house
4) take care of our cars (oil changes, brakes)
5) Take care of major problems with house (Put on a new roof, installed new water heater)
6) SOMETIMES do the dishes..... not all the time tho.

I DO NOT and i'm sorry.... WILL NOT vaccuum the f*ckin floors/rugs, dust, clean the bathroom...... how much more do i need to do? I hate having to measure how much I do compared to her but she always does this to me - and i had to start keeping track of what I did around the house because, like most guys, i don't have information stored in my head just "in case" we have an arguement. I swear to god - women win arguments because they don't make sense when the fight with you. Theres no way to reason with sh*t that doesn't make sense.....

regarding her depression - shes had it as a child and it got better. When her father passed 4 years ago it got worse and has never been the same. The thing is..... I love her...... always will..... we've worked through problems shes had in the past. This time tho..... shes attacking ME..... what I do..... what I enjoy. It's very hard for me to "conversate" with someone who's constantly telling me what I'M doing wrong..... or how i'm f*cking with her head..... I try..... i bite my tongue..... sometimes i flip my cork and threaten to leave.

Another thing she tells me is that if I don't appreciate her then tell her because theres a guy out there that will...... SERIOUSLY......? WTF.....? I'm getting to the point of offering the next guy I see $100 to spend an hour with her.....

I've got a lot of patience..... i've been trying to work through this with her..... i think i'm going to have to look into this video. I need SOMETHING..... her own familly tells me they don't know how i can put up with her sometimes..... they also agree that she hasn't been like this but they don't know where it came from.....

I told her today we could go and get a nice dinner then watch the new harry potter movie (she loves them)(i wont lie..... i do too) - we'll see how tonite goes again lol

~Haz~

This post has confirmed all my suspicions, alpha males were not meant to be married, Lol...

Humans were never designed to be monagamous. It was simply a creation of the church. Think about it, why would "God" (if you believe in him), give you an innate motivation to want to procreate with as many females as possible, and THEN write a book, telling you that you had to smash the same piece of ass for the rest of your life. We are biologically hardwired to be sluts, why fight it?

[Immortal Soldier]

This post has confirmed all my suspicions, alpha males were not meant to be married, Lol...

An alpha male isn't someone who smashes all ***** in sight or cannot commit to marriage. Any alpha male CAN get pretty much any *****, but that doesn't make him an alpha male, its his qualities and personality.

[higherdesire]

I ahave said this before and I will say it agian now, the word husband comes form the word husbandmen, meaning a gardner. As bad as it stings sometimes bro the truth is that your job as the gardner ofyour family isn't done until all the weeds are out of the marraige. Until the flowers are in full bloom. Till the ground bro, do what you are in the relationship to do and you will never get the chance to be consumed by her lack of blossoming so to speak. But the law of the ecosystems of relationships is that she will blossom under your guideance whether she wants to or not.

The other law is that you will enjoy that time whne the orchard is in full bloom and the satisfaction of knowing that you have worked for this beauty, this wonder.

they have to bear the burden of child bearing, we have to till the ground. I know this is all biblical, but like it or not, it is all exactly true. good luck bro, the ground is hard, but the fruit is sweet.

[Bojangles69]

We have talked..... again and again and again...... but we never get anywhere when we talk because everytime we talk EVERYTHING is my fault LOL - i refuse to beliueve our marriage is failing because of JUST me......

ok get this..... this is what she said to me last week "you don't do sh*t around here..... NOTHING...... you just workout, hang-out with friends, and do what you want..... but you don't care about this house or me....."

Now thats certainly not true..... here's a list of sh*t i do

1) all the laundry
2) cook dinner
3) maintain the grass and outside of the house
4) take care of our cars (oil changes, brakes)
5) Take care of major problems with house (Put on a new roof, installed new water heater)
6) SOMETIMES do the dishes..... not all the time tho.

I DO NOT and i'm sorry.... WILL NOT vaccuum the f*ckin floors/rugs, dust, clean the bathroom...... how much more do i need to do? I hate having to measure how much I do compared to her but she always does this to me - and i had to start keeping track of what I did around the house because, like most guys, i don't have information stored in my head just "in case" we have an arguement. I swear to god - women win arguments because they don't make sense when the fight with you. Theres no way to reason with sh*t that doesn't make sense.....

regarding her depression - shes had it as a child and it got better. When her father passed 4 years ago it got worse and has never been the same. The thing is..... I love her...... always will..... we've worked through problems shes had in the past. This time tho..... shes attacking ME..... what I do..... what I enjoy. It's very hard for me to "conversate" with someone who's constantly telling me what I'M doing wrong..... or how i'm f*cking with her head..... I try..... i bite my tongue..... sometimes i flip my cork and threaten to leave.

Another thing she tells me is that if I don't appreciate her then tell her because theres a guy out there that will...... SERIOUSLY......? WTF.....? I'm getting to the point of offering the next guy I see $100 to spend an hour with her.....

I've got a lot of patience..... i've been trying to work through this with her..... i think i'm going to have to look into this video. I need SOMETHING..... her own familly tells me they don't know how i can put up with her sometimes..... they also agree that she hasn't been like this but they don't know where it came from.....

I told her today we could go and get a nice dinner then watch the new harry potter movie (she loves them)(i wont lie..... i do too) - we'll see how tonite goes again lol

~Haz~

I think the obvious problem is you're just stuck.

You've been with her for too long and have progressively learned to tolerate her shit. Which is also the same exact reason she gives you shit, you tolerate it.
Now you're starting to see why problems like this need to be fixed on day 1. When you drag it out this long it can't be "fixed".
If you try the accusations will amplify.

The FIRST time a women steps out of line she needs to KNOW, UNDERSTAND AND FEEL the fact that you will absolutely under NO circumstances tolerate it.

You need to make a decision, either you ARE or you ARE NOT gonna tolerate it. History provides us the tendency that you ARE, cause its what you've always done before. Otherwise you wouldn't be with her or she wouldn't be acting like a crazy fvck.

Thats why, and I hate to say it, I believe you are a bit fvcked.
You're either gonna deal with it so it can continue for another 10 years, or end shit now.

But at minimum I think you need to demand respect, tell her you don't have the energy or patience to deal with it anymore. Then when she does it again, go somewhere else for a loonnggg time. Or as long as possible.
Untill she realizes you're making boundaries that are real this time.

But I still don't see a good outcome either way. Unless she miraculously becomes happy one day which doesn't happen. g/luck

[spywizard]

1. The fact she keeps saying you are cheating means she has a guilty conscience, I have a feeling she has cheated. Now she is trying to catch you cheating so she doesnt feel so horrible about it.
2. The fact that you are getting serious about workouts is putting her off, she sees you becoming physically better in appearance and is intimidated thinking you will leave her.
3. Leave her
4. Leave her
5. Leave her
6. I really think you should end it

thanks for saving me the time to type this..

[eatrainrest]

We have talked..... again and again and again...... but we never get anywhere when we talk because everytime we talk EVERYTHING is my fault LOL - i refuse to beliueve our marriage is failing because of JUST me......

ok get this..... this is what she said to me last week "you don't do sh*t around here..... NOTHING...... you just workout, hang-out with friends, and do what you want..... but you don't care about this house or me....."

Now thats certainly not true..... here's a list of sh*t i do

1) all the laundry
2) cook dinner
3) maintain the grass and outside of the house
4) take care of our cars (oil changes, brakes)
5) Take care of major problems with house (Put on a new roof, installed new water heater)
6) SOMETIMES do the dishes..... not all the time tho.

I DO NOT and i'm sorry.... WILL NOT vaccuum the f*ckin floors/rugs, dust, clean the bathroom...... how much more do i need to do? I hate having to measure how much I do compared to her but she always does this to me - and i had to start keeping track of what I did around the house because, like most guys, i don't have information stored in my head just "in case" we have an arguement. I swear to god - women win arguments because they don't make sense when the fight with you. Theres no way to reason with sh*t that doesn't make sense.....

regarding her depression - shes had it as a child and it got better. When her father passed 4 years ago it got worse and has never been the same. The thing is..... I love her...... always will..... we've worked through problems shes had in the past. This time tho..... shes attacking ME..... what I do..... what I enjoy. It's very hard for me to "conversate" with someone who's constantly telling me what I'M doing wrong..... or how i'm f*cking with her head..... I try..... i bite my tongue..... sometimes i flip my cork and threaten to leave.

Another thing she tells me is that if I don't appreciate her then tell her because theres a guy out there that will...... SERIOUSLY......? WTF.....? I'm getting to the point of offering the next guy I see $100 to spend an hour with her.....

I've got a lot of patience..... i've been trying to work through this with her..... i think i'm going to have to look into this video. I need SOMETHING..... her own familly tells me they don't know how i can put up with her sometimes..... they also agree that she hasn't been like this but they don't know where it came from.....

I told her today we could go and get a nice dinner then watch the new harry potter movie (she loves them)(i wont lie..... i do too) - we'll see how tonite goes again lol

~Haz~

AMEN to the bold comment bro, sorry to see a jersey fellow hurtin ... goodluck lol

[Mase33]

I think the obvious problem is you're just stuck.

You've been with her for too long and have progressively learned to tolerate her shit. Which is also the same exact reason she gives you shit, you tolerate it.
Now you're starting to see why problems like this need to be fixed on day 1. When you drag it out this long it can't be "fixed".
If you try the accusations will amplify.

The FIRST time a women steps out of line she needs to KNOW, UNDERSTAND AND FEEL the fact that you will absolutely under NO circumstances tolerate it.

You need to make a decision, either you ARE or you ARE NOT gonna tolerate it. History provides us the tendency that you ARE, cause its what you've always done before. Otherwise you wouldn't be with her or she wouldn't be acting like a crazy fvck.

Thats why, and I hate to say it, I believe you are a bit fvcked.
You're either gonna deal with it so it can continue for another 10 years, or end shit now.

But at minimum I think you need to demand respect, tell her you don't have the energy or patience to deal with it anymore. Then when she does it again, go somewhere else for a loonnggg time. Or as long as possible.
Untill she realizes you're making boundaries that are real this time.

But I still don't see a good outcome either way. Unless she miraculously becomes happy one day which doesn't happen. g/luck

This is exactly why my wife and I have been on the vergy of divorce for months now. I take full blame because I was an enabler and gave her her way for years because I did not care for fighting. So I always gave in. Well shit has changed and im done giving her her way. Trust me man, its an uphill battle. You have to retrain a woman from what she is used to. And there is not a woman alive that is going to do this willingly. But once you get past the first couple on months of battling non-stop it starts to sink in that you are not going to put up with her shit anymore.