What do you guys think...did I do the right thing?

**Angel of death** · 08-10-2009, 12:07 AM

Alright, well here is the story. This girl, who I think is really cool, and shes realllll pretty, used to like me. But I didnt have my shit together back then, I was into drugs heavily and basically didnt give her the time of day. Now I cleaned up my act and instead of just banging random whores, really wanted to get into a serious relationship and it hit me just how awesome this girl really is and so Ive been tryin to chill with her lately...and we do hangout and have fun sometimes. The problem is I guess she doesnt feel the same anymore. But..she recently broke up with her boyfriend and I just friggen decided **** it one nite and texted her something like "listen, youre one of the coolest, prettiest, classiest girls I know, Ive been a pretty bad **** up my life and I ****ed a lot of shit up these past few years but the only thing i regret is not doing anything I could to spend time with you, blah blah blah. She basically responded by saying thank you etc., you are a great friend and deserve the best. AKA, shutting me down telling me that im in the friend zone now i guess. It totally sucks...but do you guys think I did the right thing? Like you only live once, **** it, I put it all out there n gave it a shot right?

**peachfuzz** · 08-10-2009, 12:19 AM

yes.

**Angel of death** · 08-10-2009, 12:33 AM

thanks dude i appreciate it

**j4ever41** · 08-10-2009, 12:49 AM

i agree and if nothing else at least you got it off your chest.

**Kale** · 08-10-2009, 12:49 AM

Of course u did the right thing. You will not go through life wondering !!!! Unlike some of the bed wetters around who havnt got the balls to do what you did

**cfiler** · 08-10-2009, 01:39 AM

You have to live your life with no regrets. Of course you did the right thing.

Now you don't have t spend the rest of your life thinking "what could have happened if I asked..."

**Immortal Soldier** · 08-10-2009, 01:39 AM

You basically did the worst thing you could possibly do short of telling her she is an ugly cvnt actually that might have turned up better for you let me explain why

By automatically "kissing her ass" and following the movie script of almost every Hollywood romance movie, you automatically shut down any chance you might have had with her. One thing is basically girls love the chase, they love chasing after the guy they really want or having a guy chase them, but when you automatically go to the conclusion its kind of like sitting down to watch a movie and someone turns to you and says "The main actor dies at the end its a heartbeaker". It's kind of like they ruined the whole "experience" for you and now you cannot enjoy it, so what happens you become disinterested.

Second and most important of all, girls hate guys who are pushover vagina kissers, that doesn't mean you have to be a jerk or you can't show your emotional side. It's just sometimes when a girl is acting distant or "not into you" the guy goes gets desperate and says "Oh my god I need to do something big to get her to like me" so often times guys will do what you did and think "Well if I tell her how much she means to me and how good I will treat and how much I lover then she will fall into my arms", rarely does that happen besides tv shows and in movies. Time and time again guys make a mistake and sometimes its the blind leading the blind often times other guys will agree with what the guy did (in your case what you did) because they can't see what he did wrong themselves.

So in the end the guy gets left with "you are such a good friend and deserve someone good (sometimes they even say they don't deserve someone like you lol what a kicker)"

Tranlsation: You are in the friend zone and thanks for breaking your heart out over a text message (seriously dude wtf have the balls to say it in person), but she has no attraction towards girly men.

What you should have done in that situation was merely just asked her out on a date, not mention the break up, have a good time with her. Not make it obvious your in love with her and just have a good rapport and flirt and act confident. (NOTE: it makes girls run for the hills when you come off "too strong" and act like they are the love of your life when you haven't even gone on a second date let alone been in a relationship with them.)

**Noles12** · 08-10-2009, 01:45 AM

Being straight up has worked best for me in the past. I got told i was in the friend zone at first but she really liked me, but i guess one day she just changed her mind and things were great from there

**lovbyts** · 08-10-2009, 02:05 AM

You did the right thing by trying but now you are the nice guy, no adventure/mystery. Women/girls like the bad boy if they admit it or not. Maybe not the bad boy but someone who seems in control even if it's out of control. You cant be to nice or you loose.

You should have just said hey, ok you arent with ??? lets go out and??? Then dont tell her you are interested, just make your moves and bang her, then keep her.

**Friend** · 08-10-2009, 02:14 AM

Originally Posted by Immortal Soldier

You basically did the worst thing you could possibly do short of telling her she is an ugly cvnt actually that might have turned up better for you let me explain why

By automatically "kissing her ass" and following the movie script of almost every Hollywood romance movie, you automatically shut down any chance you might have had with her. One thing is basically girls love the chase, they love chasing after the guy they really want or having a guy chase them, but when you automatically go to the conclusion its kind of like sitting down to watch a movie and someone turns to you and says "The main actor dies at the end its a heartbeaker". It's kind of like they ruined the whole "experience" for you and now you cannot enjoy it, so what happens you become disinterested.

Second and most important of all, girls hate guys who are pushover vagina kissers, that doesn't mean you have to be a jerk or you can't show your emotional side. It's just sometimes when a girl is acting distant or "not into you" the guy goes gets desperate and says "Oh my god I need to do something big to get her to like me" so often times guys will do what you did and think "Well if I tell her how much she means to me and how good I will treat and how much I lover then she will fall into my arms", rarely does that happen besides tv shows and in movies. Time and time again guys make a mistake and sometimes its the blind leading the blind often times other guys will agree with what the guy did (in your case what you did) because they can't see what he did wrong themselves.

So in the end the guy gets left with "you are such a good friend and deserve someone good (sometimes they even say they don't deserve someone like you lol what a kicker)"

Tranlsation: You are in the friend zone and thanks for breaking your heart out over a text message (seriously dude wtf have the balls to say it in person), but she has no attraction towards girly men.

What you should have done in that situation was merely just asked her out on a date, not mention the break up, have a good time with her. Not make it obvious your in love with her and just have a good rapport and flirt and act confident. (NOTE: it makes girls run for the hills when you come off "too strong" and act like they are the love of your life when you haven't even gone on a second date let alone been in a relationship with them.)

^^^ I agree 100%

To the OP, read what immortal has said, then read it again. It's a valuable lesson my friend.

**sizerp** · 08-10-2009, 04:23 AM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

You did the right thing by trying but now you are the nice guy, no adventure/mystery. Women/girls like the bad boy if they admit it or not. Maybe not the bad boy but someone who seems in control even if it's out of control. You cant be to nice or you loose.

You should have just said hey, ok you arent with ??? lets go out and??? Then dont tell her you are interested, just make your moves and bang her, then keep her.

Next time jack off write her a real letter or something, txt is kinda lame.
Yeah take her to the movies, then buy her a nice ass dinner, then bang her good!

**DSM4Life** · 08-10-2009, 04:52 AM

Naturally i think you need the right thing.

**Mooseman33** · 08-10-2009, 09:05 AM

Kale said it best bro.......

had to take a shot....

BG · 08-10-2009, 09:16 AM

Originally Posted by Kale

Of course u did the right thing. You will not go through life wondering !!!! Unlike some of the bed wetters around who havnt got the balls to do what you did

I agree 100%.

Luckly I found and married a great women, but I passed up a few for the same reasons you did. I still look back and wonder if I had woken up a seen what I had in front of me then I might be in a be position today....actually I know I would be. Its fuc'd up now when you look back and see all the time you wasted with drugs, best years of my life I was getting fuc'd up.

**Dukkit** · 08-10-2009, 09:18 AM

you gave it a shot. thats what matters. most guys are too scared to even do that

it just wasnt meant to be

move on

no biggie

**quarry206** · 08-10-2009, 09:48 AM

send the texts , and nude pictures of yourself to DSM and he can pick ya or nay for us..

**Gaspari1255** · 08-10-2009, 10:57 AM

Originally Posted by Immortal Soldier

You basically did the worst thing you could possibly do short of telling her she is an ugly cvnt actually that might have turned up better for you let me explain why

By automatically "kissing her ass" and following the movie script of almost every Hollywood romance movie, you automatically shut down any chance you might have had with her. One thing is basically girls love the chase, they love chasing after the guy they really want or having a guy chase them, but when you automatically go to the conclusion its kind of like sitting down to watch a movie and someone turns to you and says "The main actor dies at the end its a heartbeaker". It's kind of like they ruined the whole "experience" for you and now you cannot enjoy it, so what happens you become disinterested.

Second and most important of all, girls hate guys who are pushover vagina kissers, that doesn't mean you have to be a jerk or you can't show your emotional side. It's just sometimes when a girl is acting distant or "not into you" the guy goes gets desperate and says "Oh my god I need to do something big to get her to like me" so often times guys will do what you did and think "Well if I tell her how much she means to me and how good I will treat and how much I lover then she will fall into my arms", rarely does that happen besides tv shows and in movies. Time and time again guys make a mistake and sometimes its the blind leading the blind often times other guys will agree with what the guy did (in your case what you did) because they can't see what he did wrong themselves.

So in the end the guy gets left with "you are such a good friend and deserve someone good (sometimes they even say they don't deserve someone like you lol what a kicker)"

Tranlsation: You are in the friend zone and thanks for breaking your heart out over a text message (seriously dude wtf have the balls to say it in person), but she has no attraction towards girly men.

What you should have done in that situation was merely just asked her out on a date, not mention the break up, have a good time with her. Not make it obvious your in love with her and just have a good rapport and flirt and act confident. (NOTE: it makes girls run for the hills when you come off "too strong" and act like they are the love of your life when you haven't even gone on a second date let alone been in a relationship with them.)

One of the most valuable posts I have seen yet. IS is correct. I have been in this situation and when you pour your heart out, you are more fvcked then could ever imagine. It took me such a long time to realize this but IGNORING a female is money. Show little intrest, you wanna be the exact opposite of deperate for tactics. When you show too much attention, you're automatically in over your head. There is no such thing as showing too little attention. The best thing to do from now on is never text, facebook, email, call her ever again. If she contacts you, be as short as possible, one or two word answers. This is your only shot. Rememeber- ignore ignore ignore!

BG · 08-10-2009, 11:40 AM

Originally Posted by dukkitdalaw

you gave it a shot. thats what matters. most guys are too scared to even do that

it just wasnt meant to be

move on

no biggie

Exactly and now your in her head and after some time she may reconsider.

**Angel of death** · 08-10-2009, 12:00 PM

Originally Posted by Immortal Soldier

You basically did the worst thing you could possibly do short of telling her she is an ugly cvnt actually that might have turned up better for you let me explain why

By automatically "kissing her ass" and following the movie script of almost every Hollywood romance movie, you automatically shut down any chance you might have had with her. One thing is basically girls love the chase, they love chasing after the guy they really want or having a guy chase them, but when you automatically go to the conclusion its kind of like sitting down to watch a movie and someone turns to you and says "The main actor dies at the end its a heartbeaker". It's kind of like they ruined the whole "experience" for you and now you cannot enjoy it, so what happens you become disinterested.

Second and most important of all, girls hate guys who are pushover vagina kissers, that doesn't mean you have to be a jerk or you can't show your emotional side. It's just sometimes when a girl is acting distant or "not into you" the guy goes gets desperate and says "Oh my god I need to do something big to get her to like me" so often times guys will do what you did and think "Well if I tell her how much she means to me and how good I will treat and how much I lover then she will fall into my arms", rarely does that happen besides tv shows and in movies. Time and time again guys make a mistake and sometimes its the blind leading the blind often times other guys will agree with what the guy did (in your case what you did) because they can't see what he did wrong themselves.

So in the end the guy gets left with "you are such a good friend and deserve someone good (sometimes they even say they don't deserve someone like you lol what a kicker)"

Tranlsation: You are in the friend zone and thanks for breaking your heart out over a text message (seriously dude wtf have the balls to say it in person), but she has no attraction towards girly men.

What you should have done in that situation was merely just asked her out on a date, not mention the break up, have a good time with her. Not make it obvious your in love with her and just have a good rapport and flirt and act confident. (NOTE: it makes girls run for the hills when you come off "too strong" and act like they are the love of your life when you haven't even gone on a second date let alone been in a relationship with them.)

I get you what you're saying. But I'm not gonna say a word to her again until she talks to me. So I'll leave her thinking about this for a long time and maybe one day shes gonna start chasing me. Maybe not, I dont ****in know, its not like it means the world to me. I dont think the text message was ***** cause saying this to her face may put her in a totally embarassing situation...i made shit easier for her if anythng

**energizer bunny** · 08-10-2009, 12:01 PM

you should of got a girlfriend....and stayed mates with her....then she could of seen how cool you are with this other chick...then she would of wanted you...

Fuk it....get a girl and do it...

**sigman roid** · 08-10-2009, 12:02 PM

No biggie bro you did what you wanted to do so dont worry about it at least now you know where you stand

**peachfuzz** · 08-10-2009, 12:21 PM

If you truly care about someone then skip the games.

**Juturna** · 08-10-2009, 02:30 PM

IMMORTAL SOLDIER

Tranlsation: You are in the friend zone and thanks for breaking your heart out over a text message (seriously dude wtf have the balls to say it in person), but she has no attraction towards girly men.

You did one possible thing ; which is tell her straight-out how you felt. But dude... through a text message? On one end it looks less-than-serious because it is in fact a text message, and on the other side of the coin she could think, "Is he too afraid to say this in person?" BOTH of which make you look pretty childish.

Secondly if you didn't give her the time of day before - women tend to replay these situations vise versa- she's not giving you 'the time of day' anymore, you know? (even though yes, she's hanging out with you.

What I would do from here though - don't contact HER to hangout - don't text / call and see what she's up to. If she wants to be friends or more, she will ask you. Don't be a dick and ignore her or say no like some people above seem to insinuate - just don't put YOURSELF out there - you already did once and yo usee how it turned out.

**Angel of death** · 08-10-2009, 03:49 PM

yeah thats what i plan to do from here out, thanks for your opinions guys

**Dancer** · 08-10-2009, 04:03 PM

1) Find out were she goes out to.

2) Meet her out with atleast one wing man, or wing woman - wing woman works better

3) Buy her 3 mixed drinks

4) Make sure you are on a cycle of atleast 500mg test, .5mg dex, cabacer, 50mg cialis

5) Make sure the bitch can't walk in the morn.

... Mofo will be eating outta your hands

**kinoplay1** · 08-11-2009, 10:21 AM

I would take this as a future lesson from Immortal Soldier and learn the lesson being a **** will work, and once you land the girl then tell her how you feel

***El Diablo*** · 08-11-2009, 10:29 AM

U did the right thing , just don't ever use the word "classiest" again .. lol

**ninesecz** · 08-11-2009, 10:29 AM

persue her hard for a certain amount of time that you set. (1months, 6 weks, whatever.)
Tell your self of nothing comes of it after that amount of time, then drop it, plain and simple! You know women thay never know what they want and after 4,6 weeks and then giving her the cold shoulder she might start calling you telling you she made a mistke givi it a try

**Juturna** · 08-11-2009, 10:38 AM

U did the right thing , just don't ever use the word "classiest" again .. lol

Hahahahaha. That was a misstep.

**OH REALLY** · 08-11-2009, 12:04 PM

if i like a girl i just f*** her real good and i usually got them after that...

**lostcause** · 08-11-2009, 02:47 PM

you did the right thing, just at the wrong time. a person fresh out of a relatioship doesnt usually want to jump right back into another one. shouldve played it cool for a little longer before making your move.

freshly broken up, good time for a hook up, bad time for a relationship.

**zimmy** · 08-11-2009, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by Immortal Soldier

You basically did the worst thing you could possibly do short of telling her she is an ugly cvnt actually that might have turned up better for you let me explain why

By automatically "kissing her ass" and following the movie script of almost every Hollywood romance movie, you automatically shut down any chance you might have had with her. One thing is basically girls love the chase, they love chasing after the guy they really want or having a guy chase them, but when you automatically go to the conclusion its kind of like sitting down to watch a movie and someone turns to you and says "The main actor dies at the end its a heartbeaker". It's kind of like they ruined the whole "experience" for you and now you cannot enjoy it, so what happens you become disinterested.

Second and most important of all, girls hate guys who are pushover vagina kissers, that doesn't mean you have to be a jerk or you can't show your emotional side. It's just sometimes when a girl is acting distant or "not into you" the guy goes gets desperate and says "Oh my god I need to do something big to get her to like me" so often times guys will do what you did and think "Well if I tell her how much she means to me and how good I will treat and how much I lover then she will fall into my arms", rarely does that happen besides tv shows and in movies. Time and time again guys make a mistake and sometimes its the blind leading the blind often times other guys will agree with what the guy did (in your case what you did) because they can't see what he did wrong themselves.

So in the end the guy gets left with "you are such a good friend and deserve someone good (sometimes they even say they don't deserve someone like you lol what a kicker)"

Tranlsation: You are in the friend zone and thanks for breaking your heart out over a text message (seriously dude wtf have the balls to say it in person), but she has no attraction towards girly men.

What you should have done in that situation was merely just asked her out on a date, not mention the break up, have a good time with her. Not make it obvious your in love with her and just have a good rapport and flirt and act confident. (NOTE: it makes girls run for the hills when you come off "too strong" and act like they are the love of your life when you haven't even gone on a second date let alone been in a relationship with them.)

FACT!!!!! Been there done that...

**fitluv09** · 08-11-2009, 03:11 PM

i think it was good for you to be honest. probably would've been better to tell her in person though. good luck! just be a friend to her. she just broke up with someone, she needs healing time.