I think I might be a huge A-hole

**J-Dogg** · 09-14-2009, 08:03 AM

Not to everyone, but I get i guess more unusually frustrated with my girl than most of you probably do with yours.

Saturday night, I went to a wedding reception with my sister (her husband does not like these events) and was there until about 10pm.

Afterwards, my girlfriend and her friend text me and wanted me to meet them out. I first, had a few drinks with a friend at a different location, and took a cab to meet my girl and her friend.

Upon entering, my girl came up and gave me a hug, followed by her friend. They were both pretty sloshed drunk, sloppy drunk. I made my round, to say "hi" and converse with the people there I knew but was done drinking at this point. I did a shot with a friend from Jr High but I was turned off of drinking watching my girl be the sloppiest drunk there. Bouncing off people because she could not keep her balance, trying her best to sing Karaoke but failing miserably, making out with her friend, at one point I was positive I'd be in a fight with some red neck cause my girl kept falling into his old lady and they were visibly upset about it.

I wanted to just get her home, but "you are too drunk, we are going home" does not go over too well when they are too drunk to realize it's for their own good, and her friends would just call me controlling. So sit back and watch the fire works right?

Upon slurring through a song, she wanders over to a table to drink a beer off it, i'm not even sure who's it was. upon setting the beer down, she falls, and breaks her fall with her mouth on the edge of the table.

I honestly, knew something bad would happen. I wanted to leave but did not want her to be the victim of a gang rape, beat up, or kicked out on the curb because she was so wasted though. I almost just left when she fell, as her friends flock around her with "concern".

But I went over and cleared them away, looked at her mouth and it broke her front tooth out. So I'm trying to get my newly formed red neck girl friend to the bathroom to rinse her mouth to look at the extent of the damage. All the while, her friends are yelling at me to call an ambulance.

I finally get her mouth rinsed and her friends are still yelling at me, i tell them to call a cab. She has no health insurance, is not in intimidate danger. and already has past due hospital bills.

The cab never showed up, so I had to actually physically carried her from the bar to my house (about 2 miles). During the process, her friend who hates me, harassed her, then stole my shirt ($70) and I finally get her home, cardio for the year.

I was extreamly fusterated at this point, I told her friend to just be there for her because I was upset about the whole situation, and can't be the supportive boyfriend. I knew I'd be buying a new tooth today (just gave her a blank check), I could see something bad was going to happen, but I'm not allowed to intervene. I ended up getting in an argument with her friend because "her boyfriend" would be there to comfort her, if it were here. Her mom came over to check on her, gets on my shit about it then.

I get frustrated thinking about it, no guy likes to walk into a bar, and see his girl be the sloppiest drunk there. Bouncing off every guy, and every guy assumes she's a "easy target", making out with her best friend, making a fool of herself trying to slurr through songs. Then flip the bill when disaster strikes.

Just me venting a little, but I tend to make decent choices, her and her friends are immature, and tend to make bad ones.

**calgarian** · 09-14-2009, 08:10 AM

and for doing all this u think u r an asshole??? I would have picked her up right after she finish singing.....wait DID you say SHE WAS MAKING OUT WITH HER FRIEND????

Dude u did right thing...fvck her friend make sure u tell ur girl what had happened......I would hold off giving her the check let her explain to ppl what had happened...

**energizer bunny** · 09-14-2009, 08:10 AM

sounds like a right shit of a night........i hate drunks (including myself)....you should of got a photo of her no tooth grin...and everytime she starts on one..just show her and that might make her think twice....

everyone loves to drink but no one likes a drunk....

**Hazard** · 09-14-2009, 08:15 AM

damn..... Your not as big of an asshole as me because at THAT point I would have left her ass in the bar and broke it off right there..... and F*CK paying for her busted tooth - i'd let her walk around like that for a few months......

~Haz~

**sigman roid** · 09-14-2009, 08:31 AM

Originally Posted by Hazard

damn..... Your not as big of an asshole as me because at THAT point I would have left her ass in the bar and broke it off right there..... and F*CK paying for her busted tooth - i'd let her walk around like that for a few months......

~Haz~

I agree Haz i wouldnt pay for anything she got herself in that state let her sort it out

**DOM6** · 09-14-2009, 10:24 PM

Originally Posted by hazard

damn..... Your not as big of an asshole as me because at that point i would have left her ass in the bar and broke it off right there..... And f*ck paying for her busted tooth - i'd let her walk around like that for a few months......

~haz~

x2 ^^^^^ lmao

**elpropiotorvic** · 09-14-2009, 09:02 AM

Man... That was one classless scene u either really like the girl or are hoping she gets better one day... But I wouldve just gone to a classy club and have my way with girls that don't make those scenes

**Knockout_Power** · 09-14-2009, 09:34 AM

If your phone has a camera or a way to take some video, next time shoot a minute of it and let her appoligise to you for being such a bitch. But a girl who needs to party that hard has issues. Personally I would have done the same in making sure that she got home safe, but next day I'd use that against her as well while breaking it off.

Paying for the crown was a nice gesture though. Wouldnt want to get a sharp tooth across the shaft while she's appologising =)

**Hazard** · 09-14-2009, 09:46 AM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

If your phone has a camera or a way to take some video, next time shoot a minute of it and let her appoligise to you for being such a bitch. But a girl who needs to party that hard has issues. Personally I would have done the same in making sure that she got home safe, but next day I'd use that against her as well while breaking it off.

Paying for the crown was a nice gesture though. Wouldnt want to get a sharp tooth across the shaft while she's appologising =)

He gave her a blank check and you think shes getting a crown? BWAHAHAHAHA

10 to 1 says she has the dentist put in one of those tooth "implants" that cost 10 grand.....

~Haz~

**Knockout_Power** · 09-14-2009, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by Hazard

He gave her a blank check and you think shes getting a crown? BWAHAHAHAHA

10 to 1 says she has the dentist put in one of those tooth "implants" that cost 10 grand.....

~Haz~

sounds good, she can use those to appologise as well =)

**J-Dogg** · 09-14-2009, 10:23 AM

Well maybe I'm normal, or maybe we are all just A-holes. All I know is I heard it from her friend, but she's only 21. She just kept saying "my boyfriend would be there to comfort me" and I just told her "maybe he's a better boyfriend than me then". I don't know if he really would, but they are a newer couple, have been dating for 3 or 4 months. In the start of a relationship, I guess I would not expect a girl to be more proper, or expect her to have her life under control.

I honestly do tend to critisize and that does not work well for us. She comes from a family that deals with mistakes as "everything will be alright, don't worry, we still love you".

I did not come from any family, have been through hell in my life, but always take responsiblity for my mistakes, learn from them, and if I really look at that as a mistake.....i don't make it again. She tends to find a way to legitimize the mistakes, and her family does the same. Most of the time, they write things up as "bad luck".

We get along really good, I love the girl, and she adores me. I've never been with a more caring girl. She'd give her life for me, with out thinking.

But these are the biggest problems we have. Just not taking responsibility for things, and I expect her too instead of making excuses, or writing it up on bad luck or placing blame.

I really like her family, but they assume I think I'm perfect which is not true. I've had to overcome a really bad upbringing, extended stays in jail through high school, failing out of college, and everything I have today is more than most people I graduated with. I have done really well and stay motivated. So they assume, because I've done well, I think I know the best. But honestly, in these situations, I do feel I know better, because I've not made the same mistakes over and over, and blamed it on bad luck. They all had it a thousand times better than me, come from a family in the insurance business and have all fallen...and never gotten up.

I have no idea how I can relay this message to her, or if I even can. I suppose I have to either accept her for her faults, or find a girl with out this major fault. Chances are, they would carry some other major flaw that would cause problems though.

**Knockout_Power** · 09-14-2009, 11:55 AM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

We get along really good, I love the girl, and she adores me. I've never been with a more caring girl. She'd give her life for me, with out thinking.
.

then she can give up drinking, or at least drinking so hard. And she can tell her friends to F off and not to judge you. Least she can do after you carried her home.

**Hazard** · 09-14-2009, 10:37 AM

They don't change..... you're either going to have to learn to live with it.... or get outa there.

~Haz~

**Kratos** · 09-14-2009, 10:43 AM

another chapter in the j-dogg girl saga

**Cloe85** · 09-14-2009, 12:38 PM

youve got to be in love with this girl or have a real soft spot for people that are in trouble and get hurt/hurt themselves.

if drinking is her problem, dont expect it to change until she realizes its really a problem. And falling down and busting a tooth says she does have a drinking problem. thats what it looks like anyway.

things like this dont change overnight.

sounds like she has some pretty sh*tty friends too...

good luck
Chloe

**bigrich4** · 09-14-2009, 12:53 PM

Your a better man then me. I would have left her and she wouldnt be seeing

me again. I cant stand sloppy drunk girls. Making out with her friend too?

Thats not cool, or sexy. Stupid college boys made girls think thats what guys

like or something but its real bad to me and the same as kissing a guy.

If you have no kids or not married you really dont have a real reason to be

around, something like that would have just set me free.

**beatango2008** · 09-14-2009, 12:48 PM

Trust me man, you are anything But and @$$ hole, personally I would not want a girlfriend like that, I am very protective over my girl and having her being sloppy drunk at the bar does not say very much about her character, and does make her look like an easy target as you said. But don't hard on yourself though for trying to do the right thing.

**amcon** · 09-14-2009, 12:55 PM

bro your a great guy for handleing it that way... clearly your not on juice now cuz if you were you would have - flipped out and as her gf was bitchin you out you would have been justified in slaping her bf.

and the cardio for the whole year that is funny... very funny

and the blank check - bro you are a very nice guy for all you have done

**J-Dogg** · 09-14-2009, 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by amcon

bro your a great guy for handleing it that way... clearly your not on juice now cuz if you were you would have - flipped out and as her gf was bitchin you out you would have been justified in slaping her bf.

and the cardio for the whole year that is funny... very funny

and the blank check - bro you are a very nice guy for all you have done

I'm on:
750mgs week test Prop
525mgs week mast prop
60mgs daily T Bol

5 weeks left.

No tren involved, thank god.

**amcon** · 09-14-2009, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

I'm on:
750mgs week test Prop
525mgs week mast prop
60mgs daily T Bol

5 weeks left.

No tren involved, thank god.

joking- you might want to c if your stuff is real you were waaayyyy to clam with that i would have kicked taxi guys ass for dropping me off there, even though i asked to go, kicke the karoke guys ass for letting her sing, kicking the girls bf cuz she was acting dumb, beat the dispacher to the taxie that didnt show up, o ya... broke the table for hurting my girl, and then may be gone home with all that testostorne running throught my viens had to have ruough sex with my new trail home gf (tooth missing)... just for fun and to teach her a lesson i would have kept caliing her the wrong name to piss her off...

smile

**J-Dogg** · 09-14-2009, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by amcon

joking- you might want to c if your stuff is real you were waaayyyy to clam with that i would have kicked taxi guys ass for dropping me off there, even though i asked to go, kicke the karoke guys ass for letting her sing, kicking the girls bf cuz she was acting dumb, beat the dispacher to the taxie that didnt show up, o ya... broke the table for hurting my girl, and then may be gone home with all that testostorne running throught my viens had to have ruough sex with my new trail home gf (tooth missing)... just for fun and to teach her a lesson i would have kept caliing her the wrong name to piss her off...

smile

I guess I was frustrated, but more out of disappointment than anger if that makes sense.

I felt like, "oh great" drop my arms down and walk out shaking my head in disappointment more so than wanting to hurt someone or break something.

The only person I was ever really mad at was her friend, and her mother for calling me a bad boyfriend. I guess they are in a different situation, because they do not live with her, have to physically carry her home and support her and pay for her mistakes (financially).

I was defiantly not having fun when I was there, prior to the incident. I was there because I had to be, and wanted to make sure she did get home safe. There was certainly the potential for something bad to happen to her in that condition, but less of a chance if i was there to protect her.

I can't take the girl out in public missing a front tooth, lol. So I'm kind of obligated to make sure she gets a tooth.

Today, I made sure to play the spoons on the couch next to her and play the "Banjo Duel" scene off Deliverance (it's on youtube), and give a lot of "yeeehaws". got a smile out of her, but I'll have to write her a letter or have the "sit down" talk about the whole situation.

The damage at the dentist? They have her mouth wired shut right now, to align what is left of the tooth. They have to have a root canal done after that is set, then cap the tooth. I'm guessing over 3k in damage.

So with her mouth wired shut, I made her favorite meal this afternoon. Chicken Lasagna

**J-Dogg** · 09-14-2009, 01:03 PM

Well our relationship is pretty solid, and this is not any regular occurrence. It's just one that really frustrates me.

She does not drink much, and when she does, generally it's never like this. She's gotten drunk enough to throw up, but I've never seen her so drunk she can't walk.

If I would have drug her out of the bar, she probably would not have ever fell, and busted her mouth.

The situation would be different, instead of her crying about her tooth, she would be complaining about her boyfriend making her leave. Instead of her drunk friend arguing with me about being upset, it would be an argument about me being controlling.

Like the rest of you, I feel justified in being upset. I'm there to take care of her, and make sure she is taken care of, just not always with a supportive smile, when the problem was caused by her, hopefully with a lesson learned.

I don't know what the reason for getting that drunk, was. I guess I could look at it and write it off easier if it was at her sisters wedding, or some celebration or even rather than a spur of the moment, go out and drink night.

And I've been known to go out, and get lit up pretty good myself. But I'm not a sloppy drunk. I compose my balance, and there is a double standard here, because I'm a guy. A girl can't target me and impose herself physically on me. The worse that's going to happen to me, is maybe a fight. With a girl, much worse things can happen. I don't mind helping so much either, but if I did get that retarded drunk, I'd take responsibility for it, be tuff on myself about it, and I'd be paying for it myself.

**redz** · 09-14-2009, 01:39 PM

I would have just left her on the floor when she fell and got out of there. Seriously thats embarassing to have a gf like that I can`t imagine. Why are you paying for her tooth?

**redz** · 09-14-2009, 02:24 PM

3k?!?!? holy shit are you planing on marrying this girl if not that is alot of cash to layout. You could have taken an awesome vacation or something instead unless you are just loaded with cash.

**J-Dogg** · 09-14-2009, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by redz

3k?!?!? holy shit are you planing on marrying this girl if not that is alot of cash to layout. You could have taken an awesome vacation or something instead unless you are just loaded with cash.

I do okay, 3k is a lot of cash regardless if you are loaded or not though.

I do not have marriage in the plans just yet, but we are living together and pretty serious. I have too much on my plate to get married and focus on a wife and family right now, so it has to wait until I'm better positioned.

**NMacFar** · 09-14-2009, 02:27 PM

You didn't do anything wrong and I think you handled the situation alot better then I would have!

**Deltasaurus** · 09-14-2009, 02:47 PM

Ditch the Bitch

**energizer bunny** · 09-14-2009, 03:07 PM

edit....

**energizer bunny** · 09-14-2009, 03:08 PM

shit........no way id pay 3k for her new tooth......id make her walk about like that till she paid for it herself......

**Tock** · 09-14-2009, 03:45 PM

What you saw that night is a glimpse through the window of what's to come.

Drinking is one thing, but getting publicly sloshed (more than once) to the point of falling down drunk indicates serious problems.
Anytime someone else says something like, 'My boyfriend would do XYZ because he loves me, and since you won't do XYZ for her, then you must not love her, and I'm going to tell her, and then you'll be abandoned to be all alone,' well, that's nothing but someone trying to control your actions with threats. That is unfair to you, and shows what sort of tactics that person will use to make you do what she wants.

Find yourself a party girl for parties, but when you're ready to settle down, get yourself someone who's emotionally healthy, without pesty controlling friends.

**lovbyts** · 09-14-2009, 08:10 PM

DONT let any of those people put it on you. You did not make her drink and like you said if you tried to stop her you would still be the bad guy. DONT pay for the tooth, dont be a patsy either. Stop letting these people walk on you. Get in their face, tell them you are feed up with their hypocrisy were you are damned if you do and damned if you dont.

Your GF deserved to loose the tooth and make her pay to get it fixed. Only way she will stop being so stupid is if she has some consequences for her actions.

**chicmagnet** · 09-14-2009, 08:19 PM

You're not an a-hole but you should've given her friend a matching tooth....nah scratch that, she's obviously not worth it. It's not up to you to teach her a lesson, you're not her Dad, but I would make her walk around without a tooth for a while, so she appreciates what you're doing for her.