Aforisms

[BJJ]

Which one do you like the most?


A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - Mark Twain -
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. - Fred Allen -
A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car. - Kenneth Tynan -
A leopard cannot change his spots. - William Shakespeare -
A liar is not believed when he speaks the truth. - Cicero -
A man can do everything with a sword except sit on it. - Talleyrand -
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor -
A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears. - Montaigne -
A specialist is one who knows everything about something and nothing about everyone else. - Ambrose Bierce -
A taxi driver is a man who drives away customers. - Henry Cate -
A waist is a terrible thing to mind. - Ziggy -
Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. - Ambrose Bierce -
Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre -
All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy. - Lauris -
Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said. - Mark Twain -
An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes in a very narrow field. - Niels Bohr -
An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous. - Henry Ford -
Anyone can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success. - Oscar Wilde -
Carpe diem. - Horatius -
Committee: A group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. - Milton Berle -
Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive. - Hubbard -
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. - Olivier -
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. - Oscar Wilde -
Figures won't lie, but liars will figure. - Gen. C. H. Grosvenor -
Friend: One who knows all about you and loves you just the same. - Elbert Hubbard -
Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration. - Thomas A. Edison -
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - La Rouchefoucauld -
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. - Old Chinese saying -
He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. - Bernard Shaw -
How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese? - Charles de Gaulle -
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby -
I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde -
I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem. - Ashleigh Brilliant -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx -
I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours. - Jerome K. Jerome -
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. - Karl Marx -
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein -
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 -
I think therefore I am. - Descartes -
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly and I did. I said I didn't know. - Mark Twain -
I would never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member. - Karl Marx -
If you can walk through life with a smile, you are probably not paying attention. - Steve Allen -
If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it. - Slous -
If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes. - Mark Twain -
If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research. - Wilson Mizner -
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. - Earl Wilson -
If you want to know the value of money, try and borrow some. - Benjamin Franklin -
If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing. - Benjamin Franklin -
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen -
Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein -
It is difficult to make predictions - particularly about the future. - Confucius -
It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one. - Phil White -
It is often easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. - Adlai Stevenson -
Life is a comedy to him who thinks, and a tragedy to him who feels. - Horace Walpole -
Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek -
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. - Abraham Lincoln -
My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's. - Oscar Wilde -
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting. - Billy Rose -
Never learn to do anything; if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you. - Mark Twain -
Never make forecasts, especially about the future. - Samuel Goldwyn -
Never trust a woman who tells you her real age. A woman who would tell that would tell anything. - Oscar Wilde -
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. - Simone Weil -
Religion is certainty without proofs. - Amiel -
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. - von Braun -
Rome was not built in a day. - Cervantes -
Science is always wrong. It never solves a problem without creating ten more. - George Bernard Shaw -
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams -
Selling the solution is often more difficult than solving the problem. - Herbert E. Salzer -
Sometimes the best way to convince someone he is wrong is to let him have his way. - Red O'Donnell -
Thank good. I'm still an atheist. - Louis Buñuel -
The best things in life are free. - Confucius -
The die is cast. - Julius Caesar -
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. - Einstein -
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams -
The last thing one discovers in writing a book is what to put first. - Blaise Pascal -
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson) -
These are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others. - Groucho Marx -
There are no uninteresting things, there are only uninterested people. - G K Chesterton -
There is no place like home. - Dufferin -
There is nothing permanent except change. - Heraclitus -
Time's fun when you're having flies. - Kermit the Frog -
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. - Dwight D. Eisenhower -
When a man tells you he got rich through hard work, ask him "Whose?" - Don Marquis -
When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde -
When you do not have any money the problem is food; when you have money it is sex; when you have both it is health; and when everything is simply great then you are frightened of death. - J. P. Donleavy -
Whenever anyone says, "theoretically", they really mean, "not really". - Parnas -
Wise men learn by other men's mistakes; fools, by their own. - Plautus -
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal -
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time. - Lincoln -
You do not know your friend until you have quarrelled with him. - Thomas McKeown -

[energizer bunny]

Which one do you like the most?


A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - Mark Twain -
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. - Fred Allen -
A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car. - Kenneth Tynan -
A leopard cannot change his spots. - William Shakespeare -
A liar is not believed when he speaks the truth. - Cicero -
A man can do everything with a sword except sit on it. - Talleyrand -
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor -
A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears. - Montaigne -
A specialist is one who knows everything about something and nothing about everyone else. - Ambrose Bierce -
A taxi driver is a man who drives away customers. - Henry Cate -
A waist is a terrible thing to mind. - Ziggy -
Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. - Ambrose Bierce -
Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre -
All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy. - Lauris -
Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said. - Mark Twain -
An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes in a very narrow field. - Niels Bohr -
An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous. - Henry Ford -
Anyone can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success. - Oscar Wilde -
Carpe diem. - Horatius -
Committee: A group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. - Milton Berle -
Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive. - Hubbard -
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. - Olivier -
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. - Oscar Wilde -
Figures won't lie, but liars will figure. - Gen. C. H. Grosvenor -
Friend: One who knows all about you and loves you just the same. - Elbert Hubbard -
Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration. - Thomas A. Edison -
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - La Rouchefoucauld -
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. - Old Chinese saying -
He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. - Bernard Shaw -
How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese? - Charles de Gaulle -
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby -
I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde -
I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem. - Ashleigh Brilliant -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx -
I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours. - Jerome K. Jerome -
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. - Karl Marx -
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein -
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 -
I think therefore I am. - Descartes -
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly and I did. I said I didn't know. - Mark Twain -
I would never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member. - Karl Marx -
If you can walk through life with a smile, you are probably not paying attention. - Steve Allen -
If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it. - Slous -
If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes. - Mark Twain -
If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research. - Wilson Mizner -
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. - Earl Wilson -
If you want to know the value of money, try and borrow some. - Benjamin Franklin -
If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing. - Benjamin Franklin -
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen -
Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein -
It is difficult to make predictions - particularly about the future. - Confucius -
It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one. - Phil White -
It is often easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. - Adlai Stevenson -
Life is a comedy to him who thinks, and a tragedy to him who feels. - Horace Walpole -
Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek -
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. - Abraham Lincoln -
My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's. - Oscar Wilde -
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting. - Billy Rose -
Never learn to do anything; if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you. - Mark Twain -
Never make forecasts, especially about the future. - Samuel Goldwyn -
Never trust a woman who tells you her real age. A woman who would tell that would tell anything. - Oscar Wilde -
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. - Simone Weil -
Religion is certainty without proofs. - Amiel -
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. - von Braun -
Rome was not built in a day. - Cervantes -
Science is always wrong. It never solves a problem without creating ten more. - George Bernard Shaw -
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams -
Selling the solution is often more difficult than solving the problem. - Herbert E. Salzer -
Sometimes the best way to convince someone he is wrong is to let him have his way. - Red O'Donnell -
Thank good. I'm still an atheist. - Louis Buñuel -
The best things in life are free. - Confucius -
The die is cast. - Julius Caesar -
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. - Einstein -
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams -
The last thing one discovers in writing a book is what to put first. - Blaise Pascal -
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson) -
These are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others. - Groucho Marx -
There are no uninteresting things, there are only uninterested people. - G K Chesterton -
There is no place like home. - Dufferin -
There is nothing permanent except change. - Heraclitus -
Time's fun when you're having flies. - Kermit the Frog -
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. - Dwight D. Eisenhower -
When a man tells you he got rich through hard work, ask him "Whose?" - Don Marquis -
When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde -
When you do not have any money the problem is food; when you have money it is sex; when you have both it is health; and when everything is simply great then you are frightened of death. - J. P. Donleavy -
Whenever anyone says, "theoretically", they really mean, "not really". - Parnas -
Wise men learn by other men's mistakes; fools, by their own. - Plautus -
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal -
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time. - Lincoln -
You do not know your friend until you have quarrelled with him. - Thomas McKeown -

i like these two.......IN BOLD

[stack_it]

Science is always wrong. It never solves a problem without creating 10 more....

[Big]

Which one do you like the most?


A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - Mark Twain -
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. - Fred Allen -
A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car. - Kenneth Tynan -
A leopard cannot change his spots. - William Shakespeare -
A liar is not believed when he speaks the truth. - Cicero -
A man can do everything with a sword except sit on it. - Talleyrand -
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor -
A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears. - Montaigne -
A specialist is one who knows everything about something and nothing about everyone else. - Ambrose Bierce -
A taxi driver is a man who drives away customers. - Henry Cate -
A waist is a terrible thing to mind. - Ziggy -
Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. - Ambrose Bierce -
Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre -
All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy. - Lauris -
Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said. - Mark Twain -
An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes in a very narrow field. - Niels Bohr -
An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous. - Henry Ford -
Anyone can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success. - Oscar Wilde -
Carpe diem. - Horatius -
Committee: A group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. - Milton Berle -
Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive. - Hubbard -
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. - Olivier -
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. - Oscar Wilde -
Figures won't lie, but liars will figure. - Gen. C. H. Grosvenor -
Friend: One who knows all about you and loves you just the same. - Elbert Hubbard -
Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration. - Thomas A. Edison -
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - La Rouchefoucauld -
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. - Old Chinese saying -
He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. - Bernard Shaw -
How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese? - Charles de Gaulle -
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby -
I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde -
I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem. - Ashleigh Brilliant -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx -
I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours. - Jerome K. Jerome -
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. - Karl Marx -
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein -
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 -
I think therefore I am. - Descartes -
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly and I did. I said I didn't know. - Mark Twain -
I would never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member. - Karl Marx -
If you can walk through life with a smile, you are probably not paying attention. - Steve Allen -
If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it. - Slous -
If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes. - Mark Twain -
If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research. - Wilson Mizner -
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. - Earl Wilson -
If you want to know the value of money, try and borrow some. - Benjamin Franklin -
If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing. - Benjamin Franklin -
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen -
Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein -
It is difficult to make predictions - particularly about the future. - Confucius -
It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one. - Phil White -
It is often easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. - Adlai Stevenson -
Life is a comedy to him who thinks, and a tragedy to him who feels. - Horace Walpole -
Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek -
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. - Abraham Lincoln -
My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's. - Oscar Wilde -
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting. - Billy Rose -
Never learn to do anything; if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you. - Mark Twain -
Never make forecasts, especially about the future. - Samuel Goldwyn -
Never trust a woman who tells you her real age. A woman who would tell that would tell anything. - Oscar Wilde -
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. - Simone Weil -
Religion is certainty without proofs. - Amiel -
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. - von Braun -
Rome was not built in a day. - Cervantes -
Science is always wrong. It never solves a problem without creating ten more. - George Bernard Shaw -
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams -
Selling the solution is often more difficult than solving the problem. - Herbert E. Salzer -
Sometimes the best way to convince someone he is wrong is to let him have his way. - Red O'Donnell -
Thank good. I'm still an atheist. - Louis Buñuel -
The best things in life are free. - Confucius -
The die is cast. - Julius Caesar -
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. - Einstein -
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams -
The last thing one discovers in writing a book is what to put first. - Blaise Pascal -
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson) -
These are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others. - Groucho Marx -
There are no uninteresting things, there are only uninterested people. - G K Chesterton -
There is no place like home. - Dufferin -
There is nothing permanent except change. - Heraclitus -
Time's fun when you're having flies. - Kermit the Frog -
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. - Dwight D. Eisenhower -
When a man tells you he got rich through hard work, ask him "Whose?" - Don Marquis -
When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde -
When you do not have any money the problem is food; when you have money it is sex; when you have both it is health; and when everything is simply great then you are frightened of death. - J. P. Donleavy -
Whenever anyone says, "theoretically", they really mean, "not really". - Parnas -
Wise men learn by other men's mistakes; fools, by their own. - Plautus -
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal -
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time. - Lincoln -
You do not know your friend until you have quarrelled with him. - Thomas McKeown -

close but not quite, that was Groucho

[CBGB]

All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy. - Lauris -

[zimmy]

Wise men learn by other men's mistakes; fools, by their own. - Plautus

[elpropiotorvic]

^^^ same thing

[QuieTSToRM33]

Sometimes the best way to convince someone he is wrong is to let him have his way. - Red O'Donnell -

[Flagg]

Which one do you like the most?


A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - Mark Twain -
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. - Fred Allen -
A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car. - Kenneth Tynan -
A leopard cannot change his spots. - William Shakespeare -
A liar is not believed when he speaks the truth. - Cicero -
A man can do everything with a sword except sit on it. - Talleyrand -
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor -
A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears. - Montaigne -
A specialist is one who knows everything about something and nothing about everyone else. - Ambrose Bierce -
A taxi driver is a man who drives away customers. - Henry Cate -
A waist is a terrible thing to mind. - Ziggy -
Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. - Ambrose Bierce -
Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre -
All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy. - Lauris -
Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said. - Mark Twain -
An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes in a very narrow field. - Niels Bohr -
An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous. - Henry Ford -
Anyone can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success. - Oscar Wilde -
Carpe diem. - Horatius -
Committee: A group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. - Milton Berle -
Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive. - Hubbard -
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. - Olivier -
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. - Oscar Wilde -
Figures won't lie, but liars will figure. - Gen. C. H. Grosvenor -
Friend: One who knows all about you and loves you just the same. - Elbert Hubbard -
Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration. - Thomas A. Edison -
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. - La Rouchefoucauld -
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. - Old Chinese saying -
He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. - Bernard Shaw -
How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese? - Charles de Gaulle -
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby -
I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde -
I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem. - Ashleigh Brilliant -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx -
I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours. - Jerome K. Jerome -
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. - Karl Marx -
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein -
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 -
I think therefore I am. - Descartes -
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly and I did. I said I didn't know. - Mark Twain -
I would never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member. - Karl Marx -
If you can walk through life with a smile, you are probably not paying attention. - Steve Allen -
If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it. - Slous -
If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes. - Mark Twain -
If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research. - Wilson Mizner -
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. - Earl Wilson -
If you want to know the value of money, try and borrow some. - Benjamin Franklin -
If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing. - Benjamin Franklin -
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen -
Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein -
It is difficult to make predictions - particularly about the future. - Confucius -
It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one. - Phil White -
It is often easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. - Adlai Stevenson -
Life is a comedy to him who thinks, and a tragedy to him who feels. - Horace Walpole -
Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek -
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. - Abraham Lincoln -
My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's. - Oscar Wilde -
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting. - Billy Rose -
Never learn to do anything; if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you. - Mark Twain -
Never make forecasts, especially about the future. - Samuel Goldwyn -
Never trust a woman who tells you her real age. A woman who would tell that would tell anything. - Oscar Wilde -
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. - Simone Weil -
Religion is certainty without proofs. - Amiel -
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. - von Braun -
Rome was not built in a day. - Cervantes -
Science is always wrong. It never solves a problem without creating ten more. - George Bernard Shaw -
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams -
Selling the solution is often more difficult than solving the problem. - Herbert E. Salzer -
Sometimes the best way to convince someone he is wrong is to let him have his way. - Red O'Donnell -
Thank good. I'm still an atheist. - Louis Buñuel -
The best things in life are free. - Confucius -
The die is cast. - Julius Caesar -
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. - Einstein -
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams -
The last thing one discovers in writing a book is what to put first. - Blaise Pascal -
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson) -
These are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others. - Groucho Marx -
There are no uninteresting things, there are only uninterested people. - G K Chesterton -
There is no place like home. - Dufferin -
There is nothing permanent except change. - Heraclitus -
Time's fun when you're having flies. - Kermit the Frog -
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. - Dwight D. Eisenhower -
When a man tells you he got rich through hard work, ask him "Whose?" - Don Marquis -
When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde -
When you do not have any money the problem is food; when you have money it is sex; when you have both it is health; and when everything is simply great then you are frightened of death. - J. P. Donleavy -
Whenever anyone says, "theoretically", they really mean, "not really". - Parnas -
Wise men learn by other men's mistakes; fools, by their own. - Plautus -Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal -
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time. - Lincoln -You do not know your friend until you have quarrelled with him. - Thomas McKeown -

I've bolded the ones I like/agree with, italiced the ones I don't like/disagree with.

EDIT: Haha, okay so all of it is italiced. Okay there were two i disliked but the only one I can remember is the "All science is wrong and it just creates ten new problems." What an ignorant statement!