Man whats going on?just got my arse kicked

[l2elapse]

is there anything better than this thread? no

[c-Z]

Lmao....

[AlphaGenetics]

yeah i know its stupid now when i think about it. There was 4 guys and i sort of thought i wouldnt feel there punches. Now i got two black eyes and my arm is in a sling. At least ive learnt a lesson.

This guys from the UK what do you expect? Huh spncr and 007. muhahahaha

[stack_it]

Bump

[40plusnewbie]

If u think this guy is lame, I once fought 6 guys at once. They wanted my wallet and told me to give it to them (oh yeah, i was drunk off my ass too). I said "**** you, come and take it". They did. I didn't think the alcohol would kick in and give me special powers though, I just don't give up my shit without a fight.

When a cop came and I was refusing to go to the hospital (I got a little ****ed up 6 on 1 and I was drunk off my ass) he told me he would arrest me and take me himself so I went in the ambulance.

Moral of the story: Don't drink too much (I still don't regret telling those ****ers to fight me for it, and I still don't regret loosing and knowing I had or would have no chance it hell) but if I wasn't drunk they probably would not have picked ME as their target.

[stack_it]

If u think this guy is lame, I once fought 6 guys at once. They wanted my wallet and told me to give it to them (oh yeah, i was drunk off my ass too). I said "**** you, come and take it". They did. I didn't think the alcohol would kick in and give me special powers though, I just don't give up my shit without a fight.

When a cop came and I was refusing to go to the hospital (I got a little ****ed up 6 on 1 and I was drunk off my ass) he told me he would arrest me and take me himself so I went in the ambulance.

Moral of the story: Don't drink too much (I still don't regret telling those ****ers to fight me for it, and I still don't regret loosing and knowing I had or would have no chance it hell) but if I wasn't drunk they probably would not have picked ME as their target.

This reminds of a time when me and 5 of my friends beat this random guy up and took his wallet........



















J/k

[cherrydrpepper]

I predict this thread outlives all of us

[MotoLifter]

what the fck is this thread doing back up here!?!?!?!?!?! SHT!!!! LET IT DIE!!!


Moto

[DSM4Life]

what the fck is this thread doing back up here!?!?!?!?!?! SHT!!!! LET IT DIE!!!


Moto

Never. This should be sticky

[nwjt]

Hey guys, I've been on test 200 mg EOD for a month. When will I start feeling my new ninja skills kick in?

[stack_it]

Hey guys, I've been on test 200 mg EOD for a month. When will I start feeling my new ninja skills kick in?

Should've already felt it. Gear must be junk.

[JDawg1536]

To the top!

[DSM4Life]

I still love this thread.

[stack_it]

Getting all the oldies back today lol.

[JDawg1536]

Getting all the oldies back today lol.

My day will be complete when someone finds the post about the guy who injected in his butt. Yes, IN his butthole.

[DSM4Life]

No someone find the thread here the guy took a poop in some chicks apt. He has to poop and pee so bad but tried to pee only while holding in his poop and ended up pooping/peeing in her tub. The post had pictures to go along and it was the funniest thread i have ever read in my life. I think it came from BB forum.

[JDawg1536]

No someone find the thread here the guy took a poop in some chicks apt. He has to poop and pee so bad but tried to pee only while holding in his poop and ended up pooping/peeing in her tub. The post had pictures to go along and it was the funniest thread i have ever read in my life. I think it came from BB forum.

Hilarious story. It was circulating the net, though... I don't think it was real.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=120921191

[DSM4Life]

Hilarious story. It was circulating the net, though... I don't think it was real.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=120921191

ROFL with the pictures, hands down best post !

[stack_it]

No someone find the thread here the guy took a poop in some chicks apt. He has to poop and pee so bad but tried to pee only while holding in his poop and ended up pooping/peeing in her tub. The post had pictures to go along and it was the funniest thread i have ever read in my life. I think it came from BB forum.

I can not for the life of me think of the name of that thread. It was awesome.

[BuffBuffalo]

^^^ Seriously the funniest story ever. The illustrations are what made this thing.

[stack_it]

Alright...I don't care if you guys believe me ... it's real. This is the the most embarassing thing that I've ever experienced... it was a horrible night for me.. and I'm sharing it with you guys because I don't want any of my misc brahs to have to go through this.. especially since it all could have been EASILY prevented. I have added MS paint images so that you have a better idea as to what happened. It's very long, but I'll do my best to recount all of the important details. no ****ing cliffs..... read it to save yourself from something like this...

Anyway...
If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed". Now at that point I felt like I had to take a sh!t, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.

Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and ****... I had to take take a sh!t really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date)... I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened). So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imagineable.





















I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the **** do I do? Which do I do first??











So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!








So then I'm like "fuk this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"... so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...

As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor... I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my ass was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.










I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)... wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:







I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor....








At that point things get even worse...





The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the damn bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....

I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...

she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???

At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!

I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...

At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"

I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...

she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..

I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.

She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.

about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.










All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and **** in her bathtub???? This is ****ing retarded (yes mad).

to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well **** that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....

This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.




anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?

.....

[Twist]

How about the guy that tried anal in his gf car but she shit all over him and the car?

That story was 100% real and to die for funny

[Bojangles69]

/\ Yeh I think that one was my favorite because of how noncontrived it sounded. The whole building up to the anal moment was priceless, worst thing that could
have possibly happened to the guy.

[stack_it]

How about the guy that tried anal in his gf car but she shit all over him and the car?

That story was 100% real and to die for funny

Old rangin1!

He was back here not too long ago.

[Twist]

/\ Yeh I think that one was my favorite because of how noncontrived it sounded. The whole building up to the anal moment was priceless, worst thing that could
have possibly happened to the guy.

OMFG so funny. I can't stop laughing about it even now. Idk about you but I was so excited for the guy and then that shit happened and ahahhahaha

[Bojangles69]

I'm actually more curious if they're still dating. I give his gf a lot of credit for being as cool as she was about the shit, I mean literally her shit all over his lap haha
fvckn nasty.

[stevey_6t9]

I'm actually more curious if they're still dating. I give his gf a lot of credit for being as cool as she was about the shit, I mean literally her shit all over his lap haha
fvckn nasty.

even worse i remember him even describing what her shit looked like... like a mashed potato type shit. lol

[gbrice75]

I don't care if the pissing/shitting in the girls tub story is real or not. The OP is a fvcking great story teller, I had tears rolling down my face reading it, my wife was like WTF!!?? And agreed, the illustrations are epic! Bookmarking this one for sure!

[istherealimit]

Lmfao!!!

[songdog]

Bro being strong dont mean shit if you cant fight.A good street frighter will kick a big guys ass every time if the man dont know how to fight.Next time call 911.

[jasc]

bump for awesomeness... enjoy

[lovbyts]

Did I remind you of something last night LOL

[HitIt]

shoulda used tren

[rj2k10]

Hahaha - I love stories like this Saw some guy who thought he was FRANK_THE_TANK walk into a 2on1 fight pushing both of these two skinny lads (one was apparently a Thai Kickboxer, quite decent too). The skinniest one (kickboxer) threw a casual crane kick (I think that's what their called?) and broke his jaw, was pretty nice haha.
Moral of the story. DONT BE STUPID!

[Tasmaniac]

Lmfao! This has to be the funniest post ever!
Most of the guys are right. Strength alone isn't going to help unless the 4 blokes actually line up and wait to be hit.
Then there are people like me who already have a decent skillset but are too skinny. Then steroids can help a lot because the hits you land will hurt a whole lot more.
If size didn't matter at all, there wouldn't be weight divisions. But when fighting the average bloke, heart is the most important...
I was in a similar position a couple of years ago. I don't know about north America and the UK but Lebanese Australians are generally total scumbags. They often go around trying to beat up white Aussies with their mates. Anyway, they were waiting at the end of a foot bridge near crown casino in Melbourne for a white fella like me. Unfortunately for them, I am a very nasty drunk and to top it all off, my wife suffers from a personality disorder which had me fuming. So when they talked about my wife's looks in front of me, I took the bait and it was on. Once I smashed one lebo's nose they got a bit worried and took off. I then chased them while my wife got the cops and two of them were pepper sprayed while I said some stuff that would probably break the rules on this forum if I repeated it.
To be honest, if it wasn't the faggiest demographic in Australia that I was fighting with, I probably wouldn't of done so good. I was drunk and pissed off and stupid. The difference between me and the OP is about 20 years of fight training in half a dozen different styles. Not to mention a shitload of street fighting experience as well..

[frank13]

How about the guy that tried anal in his gf car but she shit all over him and the car?

That story was 100% real and to die for funny

were is this thread at i would like to read it?

[kaptainkeezy04]

Gotta bump this classic, too!

[DSM4Life]

This deserves a bump every year.

[Lunk1]

OMG...I have tears running down my face!

[RaginCajun]

classic!!!!!!!!!!!