Think the cops are after me, and they have my boxers too

**I.Muscle** · 02-05-2010, 06:59 PM

So i turned 19 yesterday and it was a pretty sweet birthday. Got a decent amount of gifts but the one that i liked the most was a massage parlor pass this girl gave me. I never had a professional massage done before so i was excited.

Woke up today, had the day of from work felt good man. So i decided what the hell im gonna go get this massage today. I drove a couple cities over, where the massage parlor is and i walked in. Talked to the girl at the front desk told her i wanted to get a massage and use this gift certificate i got.

She led me to this bathroom and she told me to strip down to my undergarments and wrap the towel around me then head into the room across the hall. So i get undressed leave my boxers and wrap the towel around me like she asked. I grabbed my clothes and entered the room next door.

It was pretty nice and very relaxing environment. So i sit on the little table and wait for like 2 minutes. i hear the door open behind me and a lady walks in. She introduces herself asked if i ever been there before. I told her this was my first time and she said that she'd give me a full body massage as a first visit. So i was like sweet, she told me to lay down on my stomach.

So i do as she said and she starts the massage with these warm oils. It was pretty fuking awesome not gonna lie. I was in heaven for about 15 minutes and it felt like the hands of God himself were on me. So she tells me shes done with my back and to turn over. So i flip over and got the towel folded across my waist.

She's massaging the front of my body and it feels even better than my back. Shes working on my feet and then lower legs. She starts moving up and touches this inside of my thigh, she then said she'd be right back. She left the room and i was like oh i've heard of these kinda places. She must been getting some lotion or oils for the happy ending.

So i figured id grab a head (no pun) start on it. i pull my boxers off and I started jerking my cock profusely to get it hard for her arrival. She walks back in a minute later, i wait for her to walk over to the table. She goes back to my legs and i rip the towel off to reveal my eiffel tower of love. She starts screaming and runs outta the room telling the front desk lady to call the cops.

I started freaking out and jumped off the table threw my pants and shirt on. I ran through that place so fast people outside musta thought Usain Bolt was in town. I get to my car and floor it down the street. I been hiding out at home since, they got my boxers too.

**FranciscoG** · 02-05-2010, 07:06 PM

Of that one made me laugh... OMG that is just funny.

**warchild** · 02-05-2010, 07:12 PM

classic

**bjpennnn** · 02-05-2010, 07:15 PM

bro there is no ****en way this is real hahaha if it is you are a retard.

**FranciscoG** · 02-05-2010, 07:16 PM

I think everyone on this thread is a cops. Hurry turn your pc off before its too late.

**bjpennnn** · 02-05-2010, 07:19 PM

i agree man.

**DCI** · 02-05-2010, 07:24 PM

As the legend snoop dogg said, " The pooolice is coming, drink the evidence and hide the dick behind your head"

Man that's comedy gold, poor women probably gets that shit hapening to her the who time young lads not knowing what's going on and getting naked lol.

**bjpennnn** · 02-05-2010, 07:33 PM

i am just having trouble believing that this is real. like how old are you ha. she could totally press charges.

**bjpennnn** · 02-05-2010, 07:34 PM

i know your 19 but come on i would know better at 19

**DCI** · 02-05-2010, 07:40 PM

Lol I think it could be a bit of a fake unless I see some arrest slips I shall not believe it.

**jbm** · 02-05-2010, 07:45 PM

**jbm** · 02-05-2010, 07:46 PM

**bjpennnn** · 02-05-2010, 08:14 PM

hahaha knew i could count on jbm

**Friend** · 02-05-2010, 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by jbm

yes!

**NVR2BIG1** · 02-05-2010, 08:23 PM

she probably left to go take a shit

**jbm** · 02-05-2010, 08:33 PM

**jbm** · 02-05-2010, 08:35 PM

**jbm** · 02-05-2010, 08:35 PM

**Eddie_m63** · 02-05-2010, 08:57 PM

Too bad you didn't asked for extras or happy endings, you got some balls for doing what you did.

**urbanbody** · 02-05-2010, 09:07 PM

wow... nice one dude

**stevey_6t9** · 02-05-2010, 09:37 PM

man that sucks u didnt get to blow your load. reminds me of when i was 16 getting my first massage with a happy ending in thailand

**Bojangles69** · 02-06-2010, 01:05 AM

I had a feeling it was fake just by the forced details. True details are usually interesting even when they're boring because they flow NATURALLY with this story.
Reading the details in this story was extremely boring, because they were wrote in an almost ABC fashion. "I did this, then that happened, then this happened".

No one tells a story like that unless its bs. Then you capitalized on the fact it was bs by the one sentence "she went back to my legs and I revealed my tower of love", that is utter manical bullshit. You know it and I know it.
No way in hell you started to masturbate to get hard, then took your towel off. 100% of guys would have some SERIOUS anxiety in a situation like that. You obviously didn't have anxiety cause it never fvckn happened.

TO TOP IT OFF
You're own dumbass admitted this was your **FIRST TIME**. NOONE,
NOONE IN HELL
ESPECIALLY at their first professional massage, would ever even consider doing something that dumb. The only reason this is so hard to believe is because its a lie.
You fail.

**BEER WHORE** · 02-06-2010, 01:29 AM

I banged Megan Fox off and on for a year in 2006! true story

**energizer bunny** · 02-06-2010, 04:12 AM

Originally Posted by Bojangles69

I had a feeling it was fake just by the forced details. True details are usually interesting even when they're boring because they flow NATURALLY with this story.
Reading the details in this story was extremely boring, because they were wrote in an almost ABC fashion. "I did this, then that happened, then this happened".

No one tells a story like that unless its bs. Then you capitalized on the fact it was bs by the one sentence "she went back to my legs and I revealed my tower of love", that is utter manical bullshit. You know it and I know it.
No way in hell you started to masturbate to get hard, then took your towel off. 100% of guys would have some SERIOUS anxiety in a situation like that. You obviously didn't have anxiety cause it never fvckn happened.

TO TOP IT OFF
You're own dumbass admitted this was your **FIRST TIME**. NOONE,
NOONE IN HELL
ESPECIALLY at their first professional massage, would ever even consider doing something that dumb. The only reason this is so hard to believe is because its a lie.
You fail.

Agree 100%

and im sure he took this idea from an episode of friends!.......

**ranging1** · 02-06-2010, 05:15 AM

[QUOTE=energizer bunny;5058772]Agree 100%

and im sure he took this idea from an episode of friends!.......[/QUOTE]

maybe his motivation was my anal thread?

**Friend** · 02-06-2010, 05:36 AM

I just watched Seven Pounds and i've never cried harder in my life.

**I.Muscle** · 02-06-2010, 06:52 AM

Originally Posted by Bojangles69

I had a feeling it was fake just by the forced details. True details are usually interesting even when they're boring because they flow NATURALLY with this story.
Reading the details in this story was extremely boring, because they were wrote in an almost ABC fashion. "I did this, then that happened, then this happened".

No one tells a story like that unless its bs. Then you capitalized on the fact it was bs by the one sentence "she went back to my legs and I revealed my tower of love", that is utter manical bullshit. You know it and I know it.
No way in hell you started to masturbate to get hard, then took your towel off. 100% of guys would have some SERIOUS anxiety in a situation like that. You obviously didn't have anxiety cause it never fvckn happened.

TO TOP IT OFF
You're own dumbass admitted this was your **FIRST TIME**. NOONE,
NOONE IN HELL
ESPECIALLY at their first professional massage, would ever even consider doing something that dumb. The only reason this is so hard to believe is because its a lie.
You fail.

Lmao, you mad brah?

**drdeath613** · 02-06-2010, 07:15 AM

lol i have no problem showing my wang off in public hell when im at home i walk around naked its fun and very free feeling

**energizer bunny** · 02-06-2010, 07:33 AM

^^^^lol......its one thing walking around in public with it out on a floppy!......but walking around with it out erect is just perverted!! haha

**dezza6969** · 02-06-2010, 08:07 AM

This is like a cliche bullshit story but it still made me laugh. Even if it was his imagination he wrote it with such energy and conviction

**drdeath613** · 02-06-2010, 08:09 AM

lol iv done it morning wood going to get my newspaper its not a big deal no kids on my block plus i live on county land so i dont have to deal with city cops i tell em to get off my land and walk away

**redz** · 02-06-2010, 08:38 AM

True or not this was funny.

**zimmy** · 02-06-2010, 09:02 AM

lol...you have any idea how many people get hard on's during massages...they are used to it ...may not like it but they sure in the hell wouldn't run out screaming

**boz** · 02-06-2010, 09:11 AM

Originally Posted by dezza6969

This is like a cliche bullshit story but it still made me laugh. Even if it was his imagination he wrote it with such energy and conviction

ahahah yeah i give him credit to.

but major FAIL!

**dezza6969** · 02-06-2010, 11:31 AM

lol major fail it is because if ur gonna make it up you may as well add in that you anally violated the massues before she ran off screaming

Originally Posted by boz88

ahahah yeah i give him credit to.

but major FAIL!

**feeldapump89** · 02-06-2010, 11:06 PM

I dono whats more comical the thread or the posters lol

**stack_it** · 02-07-2010, 01:47 AM

my girl has her degree in massage therapy and PTA and when she was going through massage school she was warned about how many guys get wood when being massaged.

**Bojangles69** · 02-07-2010, 02:57 AM

Originally Posted by I.Muscle

Lmao, you mad brah?

I'm mad that you're full of shit yes. She would have not left the room screaming if you had a boner and they wouldn't call the cops as has already been said. I'm friends with a girl at my uni as well who does it for a living and she jokes about guys getting boners. Its nothing crazy. They're adults performing a physiologically stimulating service, I'm sure some older guys have even gone spontaneously.

I dont deny you got a massage, I deny everything you said after the point she left the room. You're a liar, you've been here 3 weeks, and I've never even seen you post in the lounge before. Something is extremely shady about your story. In the rare event you were being honest, you're a complete fvckn idiot, and a perv, and who knows what else. Your handle should be I.Lie