Im trying to help my friend with datingi a single mother and advice

**cherrydrpepper** · 09-02-2010, 11:25 PM

Hi. Short and sweet version. My friend is good looking enough he could be a model and is dating a girl who is a 10. She has a kid 4 years old. Baby daddy is local and wants to go to dinner with her and the kid frequently.

She goes out with the baby daddy a few times a week, and texts him at odd hours like 3 in the morning, sometimes sappy stuff like "I miss you".

My bro has been constantly every day saying he is in love with her but the baby daddy thing is bothering him more and more. He is worried she is "cheating on him emotionally.. in the mind". I forgot this but he explained women often cheat in the mind way before or without going physical. Its part of the way they are wired.

Ok so you can stop the thread here and give me your advice.. Actually if you would.. stop reading and think what you think is appropriate to say.. then scroll down.

I told him he's young and pretty and theres no way to say if he is going to end up married to this girl and being a stepdad to the kid. The kid loves him. He can't expect her to cut off contact with the baby daddy because shes doing whats best for the kid. Also, if things don't work out with him, she has dropped hints that its possible she would get back together with the dad although it seems unlikely. But in a nutshell I told him shes a single mother and he always has to take into account what impact his actions could have on the child, whether its telling her to cut off contact with the baby daddy or cheating on her etc both which he has been tempted to do but has not done because he's a good person.

**Aizen Sosuke** · 09-03-2010, 04:54 AM

Who is she texting at 3AM? The baby's father? If so tell him to get out right now and stop dating her. If she asks he could be honest about it and tell her he doesn't wanna be on the way. I doubt this would happen but there's the possibility she likes your friend and would rather not lose him and just limit her relationship with the father of her son.

**40plusnewbie** · 09-03-2010, 06:53 AM

One very important factor IMO is how long your friend has been going out with her, and if they are exclusive.

Another potentially positive factor relates to something a wise man once told me "Never marry a woman you would not want to be divorced from" (i.e a vengeful biotch). This girl def does not sound like that type so if your friend winds up with her I think based on the little info you provided (given she's not cheating) he's got a gem.

Another factor about the length of time, is how long she was dating the ex and how old the kid is, as well as the true reason(s) they broke up. If he dumped her the dinners and 3am texts are much more shady IMO. But if the dude is loaded with cash going out to dinner is like buying a lollipop, it's no big thing necessarily.

If your friend is under 25 his ego is probably getting in the way that a 35-40yo man's wouldn't necessarily. No dis on younger men, that's just a generalization IMHO.

If def think he should be talking with her about this in a non confrontational way but more like asking her about him and what she likes about him as a father, etc and then pay close attn to what she says. If he comes at her like "was he good it bed?" Did he ever ask for sex since you broke up? she is prob going to lie, especially to qu 2.

He should keep a casual dialogue going, CASUAL about this topic. If they have been broken up for 3 years or so and she has been dating your friend 2 yrs or so I would think it would potentially be more problematic. There are also cultural customs going on, I don't know what their nationalities are.

food for though. hope it springs some ideas.

**stack_it** · 09-03-2010, 06:59 AM

If a girl has a kid in most cases if she doesn't absolutely hate the baby daddy then it's a no go. She will leave the guy everytime the bd wants her. Then when he gets tired of her again she'll come crawling back.

**calgarian** · 09-03-2010, 08:13 AM

whts ur friend's name? CD?

**calgarian** · 09-03-2010, 08:13 AM

it cant be if she is 10...but we all know women are fvcked up in the head

**HitIt** · 09-03-2010, 08:42 AM

what does she do for money? does her baby daddy support her? game over.

**ReX357** · 09-03-2010, 09:37 AM

Tell him to run away.

The kid should be going with the dad, not her.

Your friend is gonna get hurt.

**cherrydrpepper** · 09-03-2010, 10:45 AM

Originally Posted by Aizen Sosuke

Who is she texting at 3AM? The baby's father? If so tell him to get out right now and stop dating her. If she asks he could be honest about it and tell her he doesn't wanna be on the way. I doubt this would happen but there's the possibility she likes your friend and would rather not lose him and just limit her relationship with the father of her son.

Its a tricky situation.. he wants to be with her but not if its gonna turn to shit.

Originally Posted by 40plusnewbie

One very important factor IMO is how long your friend has been going out with her, and if they are exclusive.

dating 4 months exclusive. She has not told the baby daddy that she is dating my friend.

Originally Posted by stack_it

If a girl has a kid in most cases if she doesn't absolutely hate the baby daddy then it's a no go. She will leave the guy everytime the bd wants her. Then when he gets tired of her again she'll come crawling back.

I see your point stack it and I dont know enough about them to know but she left this guy from what I understood. Dont remember all the details but she gave the standard answers like he was abusive and didn't appreciate her etc

Originally Posted by HitIt

what does she do for money? does her baby daddy support her? game over.

Good Q shes a nurse and has her head on straight there

Originally Posted by calgarian

whts ur friend's name? CD?

huh his name is David dunno if you know him.. dont like to give a lot of info about myself due to the nature of this forum but I live in sw fl.. and yeah his girls a 10.. we go out several nights a week and can never find a girl who is definitively better looking

Originally Posted by ReX357

Your friend is gonna get hurt.

Im trying to avoid anyone getting hurt. I actually like the mother, I respect her for the way she cares for her kid.

Thanks for all the advice appreciate it guys