I could use a few different points of view PLZ

**FuzzyPeaches o.O** · 09-14-2010, 09:57 AM

To make a long story short I will just state some facts so you can give me a pretty well informed opinion on the matter at hand.

So on 10/23 my brother is getting married, congrats, but over the last year our relationship has been disolving further and further up to this point. We have always been real close and have always had a healthy relationship and that is why I am confused as to why this is happening and how I should react to it.

For the last year this is basically how our relationship is: I make all the phone calls to keep in touch and none are EVER returned, I always try to make arrangements to see each other which are always put off for this reason and that reason and the only time we see each other is when we bump into each other on accident (like at our parents house for example).

So I have been getting annoyed by the lack of effort regarding the returning my phone calls after I leave a message, the lack of getting together (but he always has stories about how he did this this weekend and did that the other weekend) so it is not like he is just sitting at home. He is still spending time with all of our other mutual friends.. Then this past weekend, which to me, was the straw that broke the camels back. He had his bachelors party and I was not even invited BUT I am supposed to be in the wedding party at the wedding.

I am so pissed that I feel I should tell him to find someone else to take my place. I mean he was telling me about some of the people who went on his bachelors party and he had guys there that he barely knows YET his brother was not invited. SO.. Am I over reacting to this and should I suck it up and be in the wedding? My whole point is this.. If I am unworthy of attending the bachelors party then why am I in the F'ing wedding?!?

Opinions please.. I tried to tell this as neutral as possible but I am obviously raging pissed over it!

**ReX357** · 09-14-2010, 10:02 AM

I'd say you have all the reasons in the world to be pissed. I don't have a solution for you but I know you're not being crazy.

**toothache** · 09-14-2010, 10:04 AM

If you weren't invited to his bachelor party then I would say something is up. Did you ask, why he didn't invite you? Why he's being so distant?

**DOUBLE J** · 09-14-2010, 10:05 AM

Could it be his wife to be doesn't like you and has his ear???

**FuzzyPeaches o.O** · 09-14-2010, 10:06 AM

I did and he tried to make it sound like he was doing me a favor! He said some BS like I knew you would not have enjoyed yourself so I just did not ask.

At that point I was like WHAT?!?! I was like yeah I'm pissed and frankly I do not want to talk to you anymore right now!!!

**FuzzyPeaches o.O** · 09-14-2010, 10:06 AM

Originally Posted by DOUBLE J

Could it be his wife to be doesn't like you and has his ear???

Always possible but we have hung out and it is always pleasant.

**JDawg1536** · 09-14-2010, 10:16 AM

That sucks. It's easy for me to say because he isn't my brother, but I say f#ck him. Don't go to his wedding then when he asks why you didn't go, tell him "I knew I wouldn't enjoy myself so I didn't bother coming."

Seriously though, don't let yourself be treated like that.

**DSM4Life** · 09-14-2010, 10:18 AM

Originally Posted by DOUBLE J

Could it be his wife to be doesn't like you and has his ear???

I was thinking the same thing.

Best thing you can do is pull him to the side and have a one on one conversation with him.

**Hazard** · 09-14-2010, 10:21 AM

Thats fvcked up.....

But the joke's on him..... he's the one getting married.....

~Haz~

**Stigmata101** · 09-14-2010, 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by DOUBLE J

Could it be his wife to be doesn't like you and has his ear???

that's what i was going to say....

sorry to hear about your bro being like that.....you really need to have a heart to heart with him and find out what the fvk his deal is. And if that doesn't work then fvk his wife.

**FuzzyPeaches o.O** · 09-14-2010, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

I was thinking the same thing.

Best thing you can do is pull him to the side and have a one on one conversation with him.

I have done that.. Everything is fine he says and that was a couple of months ago..

I'm to the point to where I am going to tell him to stick that wedding invitation up his @ss. I just do not want to make a decision while I am fuming pissed like I am right now. The bachelor party conversation was just over an hour ago..

**DSM4Life** · 09-14-2010, 10:32 AM

Originally Posted by FuzzyPeaches o.O

I have done that.. Everything is fine he says and that was a couple of months ago..

I'm to the point to where I am going to tell him to stick that wedding invitation up his @ss. I just do not want to make a decision while I am fuming pissed like I am right now. The bachelor party conversation was just over an hour ago..

If I was in your shoes i would totally feel the same way. Being in the wedding isn't the end of the world for you or him. You need to ask yourself if you are in the wedding are you going to be pissed the entire time. If you are going to be upset it would be better for not only you but also your brother to just kindly tell him you do not want to be in the wedding and leave it at that. IF and only if he asks why you tell him but try not to get all worked up.

**ReX357** · 09-14-2010, 10:36 AM

Originally Posted by Hazard

Thats fvcked up.....

But the joke's on him..... he's the one getting married.....

~Haz~

This...

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

If I was in your shoes i would totally feel the same way. Being in the wedding isn't the end of the world for you or him. You need to ask yourself if you are in the wedding are you going to be pissed the entire time. If you are going to be upset it would be better for not only you but also your brother to just kindly tell him you do not want to be in the wedding and leave it at that. IF and only if he asks why you tell him but try not to get all worked up.

And this.

**HitIt** · 09-14-2010, 01:01 PM

Judging by what you've said I surmise that there is someone who is talking shit about you or doesn't like you and your bro is trying to keep all parties happy and he must find it easier to shit on his own bro than his inlaws to be....just a guess.

**stack_it** · 09-14-2010, 04:45 PM

Someone he's close to doesn't like you. Usually the only one who could make a man stay away from there friends/family is the woman. I would almost put money on it in this situation. Your brother won't tell you this because he doesn't want his family to hate his wife. Just remember women are two-faced conniving bitches who want to ruin and rule your life.

She probably figures that of you two hang out you will be a bad influence on your brother and he may look at another girl walk by.

I say you should take dsm's advice on this one.

**lovbyts** · 09-14-2010, 09:01 PM

Originally Posted by FuzzyPeaches o.O

Always possible but we have hung out and it is always pleasant.

Women are the best 2 faced creatures on the earth. She can be your best friend to your face and tear you apart behind your back.

I would bet she is the one behind it and your brother is like MOST males, ***** whipped.

Sorry buddy but if he marries her you are out more or less. You need to have a sit down with your brother to get to the bottom of it but also even if she was not doing anything since he has found someone he will be spending more time with her and that's less time with you. It's just life.

**FuzzyPeaches o.O** · 09-15-2010, 07:11 AM

Yea, I totally get that lov they have been together for 2.5 yrs. The fit has hit the shan in the last 12 months, really the last 6. So it is not like they just started seeing each other.

I have done all I can, pulled him aside explained myself and now I am just going to remove myself from the situation. I've thought about it and I am going to tell him that I am out of the wedding party and leave it at that. As it stands now I will "probably" attend the ceremony but the reception is out for sure. I may not even go to the ceremony but I'll leave that up in the air until I have to decide.

Thanks guys for your opinions, I had almost convinced myself I was over-reacting but after hearing from you all I know it was just him being a c0ck 5ucker.

**DSM4Life** · 09-15-2010, 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by FuzzyPeaches o.O

Yea, I totally get that lov they have been together for 2.5 yrs. The fit has hit the shan in the last 12 months, really the last 6. So it is not like they just started seeing each other.

I have done all I can, pulled him aside explained myself and now I am just going to remove myself from the situation. I've thought about it and I am going to tell him that I am out of the wedding party and leave it at that. As it stands now I will "probably" attend the ceremony but the reception is out for sure. I may not even go to the ceremony but I'll leave that up in the air until I have to decide.

Thanks guys for your opinions, I had almost convinced myself I was over-reacting but after hearing from you all I know it was just him being a c0ck 5ucker.

I don't know if i wouldn't go at all. I would still attend to show support (if you support his decision) but i would def not be in the wedding.

**jojomcgo** · 09-15-2010, 09:39 AM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

Women are the best 2 faced creatures on the earth. She can be your best friend to your face and tear you apart behind your back.

I would bet she is the one behind it and your brother is like MOST males, ***** whipped.

Sorry buddy but if he marries her you are out more or less. You need to have a sit down with your brother to get to the bottom of it but also even if she was not doing anything since he has found someone he will be spending more time with her and that's less time with you. It's just life.

Yes sir!

**NMacFar** · 09-15-2010, 09:55 AM

I would get in touch with him and lay your feelings out all over the table. Depending on his response is when you should decide if you want to be a part of his wedding.

FTR, you are not over reacting and it seems you've tried hard to make things right.

Best of luck

**FuzzyPeaches o.O** · 09-15-2010, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by NMacFar

I would get in touch with him and lay your feelings out all over the table. Depending on his response is when you should decide if you want to be a part of his wedding.

FTR, you are not over reacting and it seems you've tried hard to make things right.

Best of luck

Thanks! I have already told him on more than one occasion, prior to all of this recent nonsense, regarding the way things are going and how it has made me feel. So I'm done trying, I have already called him today and told him I'm out and to make other arrangements for the wedding party since I will not be in it.

Like I said before I am without a doubt not going to attend the reception but I am still unsure about the ceremony. I will make the call sometime between now and 10/23 and thanks again to all of you who offered some opinions.

**SlimmerMe** · 09-15-2010, 10:07 AM

Take the high road because he is your brother and eventually it will work itself out...may take awhile but worth it ...and trust me: with chin up and having fun and dancing and looking good....not one person on earth can get your "goat"

**Bryan2** · 09-15-2010, 08:00 PM

More than likely its the wife.

To play devils advocate though there is always 2 sides to the story and you could be doing some shit that is pushing him away so man up and think about it from his perspective as well

If you havent really done anything and it really is your bro than your going to have to be straight with him

Tell him **** you man, You guys were close but he is disrepecting the hell out of you

Tell him to quit acting like a bitch and say it like it is.

If he doesnt wanna hang out with you as much or something is bugging him than just say it like it is.

Your a big boy im sure you can handle what ever he has to say.

But dont come off with high emotions just lay it out all the things you have noticed and cite specific references.

**FuzzyPeaches o.O** · 09-17-2010, 11:11 AM

Originally Posted by Bryan2

More than likely its the wife.

To play devils advocate though there is always 2 sides to the story and you could be doing some shit that is pushing him away so man up and think about it from his perspective as well

If you havent really done anything and it really is your bro than your going to have to be straight with him

Tell him **** you man, You guys were close but he is disrepecting the hell out of you

Tell him to quit acting like a bitch and say it like it is.

If he doesnt wanna hang out with you as much or something is bugging him than just say it like it is.

Your a big boy im sure you can handle what ever he has to say.

But dont come off with high emotions just lay it out all the things you have noticed and cite specific references.

I have already done those things Bryan and I have done them with couth. I have been polite to the both of them even though in my gut I want to tell them both to sit and spin. In an attempt to keep the family circle as close as possible I continued to just take their disrespect time and time again. For me though the bachelor party was the game changer. Regardless of whatever BS his wife-to-be is or is not shoveling it was HIS bachelor party and it was HIS choice to segregate me from it.

As such it is now MY choice to withdraw from the wedding party and the more I think about it I certainly will not attend the reception. I understand what you are trying to say SlimmerMe BUT I will not celebrate anything involving my brother at the moment. I may not even attend the ceremony, I am really going back n forth on that issue. I see no reason why my attendance is required at this point.

**DSM4Life** · 09-17-2010, 11:24 AM

Originally Posted by FuzzyPeaches o.O

I have already done those things Bryan and I have done them with couth. I have been polite to the both of them even though in my gut I want to tell them both to sit and spin. In an attempt to keep the family circle as close as possible I continued to just take their disrespect time and time again. For me though the bachelor party was the game changer. Regardless of whatever BS his wife-to-be is or is not shoveling it was HIS bachelor party and it was HIS choice to segregate me from it.

As such it is now MY choice to withdraw from the wedding party and the more I think about it I certainly will not attend the reception. I understand what you are trying to say SlimmerMe BUT I will not celebrate anything involving my brother at the moment. I may not even attend the ceremony, I am really going back n forth on that issue. I see no reason why my attendance is required at this point.

Sounds like you have a good head about it. Do what you feel and you'll be fine.

**HitIt** · 09-17-2010, 01:32 PM

just do the old reversal.....forget their numbers.....forget their address.....forget about them....go on with your life. some aholes need a taste of their own medicine before they realize how it feels.

**ReX357** · 09-17-2010, 01:45 PM

Originally Posted by HitIt

just do the old reversal.....forget their numbers.....forget their address.....forget about them....go on with your life. some aholes need a taste of their own medicine before they realize how it feels.

Agreed.