Does your bed.........................................

[Times Roman]

.................need shock absorbers?

I don't know, I've been banging the fuk outta mine, and I think I need to get some shock absorbers or something. I mean fuk! Our bed is right above the living room with the tv, and we've been told many times that when I'm knocking it out with the woman, it's like the ceiling is shaking or something. This is a fairly new house, with insulation, so you'd think we should be G2G.

It was embarrassing two years ago. We had a new years eve party at the house, and people crashed over downstairs. the next day, my mates told me it was hard for them to fall asleep as I was the only one with a door, and therefore the only one knocking it out.

Now my woman is not wanting to give it up when people are over, and that is definately NOT G2G.

Dont' tell me I should be more quiet. that aint me. when I'm ripping it up, i'm oblivious to the rest of the world. not really a screamer, just a crap load of banging.

[raspberry]

Be more quiet

[Times Roman]

Be more quiet

can't mate. Like a bull in a china shop. The more quieter I get, the louder I cum!

[raspberry]

Water bed?

[weknowbobbito]

tempurpedic?

[Shol'va]

Just install 4 monroe-matics with adjustable ride control and your G2G...

[jbm]

use the floor!

[stack_it]

Few options.

Go with talalay latex (awesome bed)

Go with memory foam (shitty beds)

Bang on the floor

Tell your guests to quit bitchin and enjoy the show.

[Shol'va]

Keep a supply of earplugs in your downstairs candy jar on the coffee table. That way your guests can either choose to listen or put a plug in it.

[Sicko]

Funny sh!t TR...
I lived with my lady for a while in her fathers house..Two story condo and yeh unfortunately got busted several times with the ceiling fan above dining room table rattling and rockin!!
The bad part is i wondered how long the other family members put up with us before they finally had to say something to me...heheheh

[Shol'va]

Just goes to show you that home builders these days are cutting corners. If they would still use 2x12 beams between the floors, this wouldn't be an issue...dam cheap azz builders anyhow.And they are using pressed wood particle board for subflooring instead of tru tongue and groove plywood. And what makes it even worse is that todays Americans weigh twice what they did 50 years ago so thats a lot of azz that upstairs flooring has to handle...Not sayin your butt is big TR but most Americans are thanks to drive through Mc D's, Hardees, Jack In The Box, KFC.etc

[lovbyts]

use the floor!

That doesnt work, I use to do that with a GF long time ago and it still is quite audible and causes bruises.

You need a new/good mattress. I have a 18" thick mattress with a good box spring. You have to make sure your bed is not next to the wall; banging the wall is LOUD and the bed is put together GOOD. I have 6, 1x4 cross sections from one side to the other screwed down for supports and screws on the braes on all corners.

The shower is always good but watch out for the shower doors or banging her head against the sides. Speaking of head, this is alwasy a good alternative if people are around and less noisy for the most part at least on the guys end. I dont think my woman could keep it down to a moan anymore now that she has learned what it's supposed to be like. lol.

It sounds like your house is still substandard. Is it a House, Apartment or Condo? Track house? Most houses with 2nd floor has basic 2x4 construction instead of a much better 2x6, 2x8, staggered 2x4 or I beam construction which is nice for noise reduction.

[Times Roman]

^ It's built quite well, two story track home. I put a ceiling fan in that living room, and the vibrations make the fan wobble too. Not a lot, but you can definately tell what's going on upstairs.

Hey, here's another funny one (dam! I'm glad my woman don't read this sh1t or my goose would be cooked!!)
...anyways, my woman's period get's "stuck" sometimes..... she can be cramping, but no blood flow.

So check this out. Here the past year or so she's using me to "put a hole in the dam", so to speak. Because right after, usually that night or the next morning, she starts. So we were driving home from camping last night, and she is telling me she needs me to "do my thing" again so she can start. I mean, I'm not complaining or anything.

So now she's got a list of sh1t Im needed for:

put bowls away on top shelf.... check!
barbeque the steaks..... check!
mow the goddam back yard..... check!

and now...
fuk her brains out so she can start her period... check!

[calgarian]

Few options.

Go with talalay latex (awesome bed)

Go with memory foam (shitty beds)

Bang on the floor

Tell your guests to quit bitchin and enjoy the show.

he should leave the door open..

[calgarian]

^ It's built quite well, two story track home. I put a ceiling fan in that living room, and the vibrations make the fan wobble too. Not a lot, but you can definately tell what's going on upstairs.

Hey, here's another funny one (dam! I'm glad my woman don't read this sh1t or my goose would be cooked!!)
...anyways, my woman's period get's "stuck" sometimes..... she can be cramping, but no blood flow.

So check this out. Here the past year or so she's using me to "put a hole in the dam", so to speak. Because right after, usually that night or the next morning, she starts. So we were driving home from camping last night, and she is telling me she needs me to "do my thing" again so she can start. I mean, I'm not complaining or anything.

So now she's got a list of sh1t Im needed for:

put bowls away on top shelf.... check!
barbeque the steaks..... check!
mow the goddam back yard..... check!

and now...
fuk her brains out so she can start her period... check!

Holy fvck u bitch like woman on period.....

[Bojangles69]

Some beds don't make noise no matter what you do on them. I have no idea what kind of bed I have but I can do backflips on it and it doesn't as much as make a creak.

The thing is beds DO have shock absorbers they are called springs lol. But so many beds are cheap/made like shit and screech/creak/slam into the floor while you are
banging away on it.
I'd consider going over to sleepies if you're in the states and getting a quality spring box mattress plus throwing some memory foam on top. And it can actually be the floor thats responsible which in that case you're gonna have to start ****ing on the first level of the house. I notice in some houses no matter how good a bed the floors are not built right and the slighest bit of noise always makes it way through.
And in that case the only hope is knocking down the house.

The best part about my room is not actually my bed though, its the fact that its a bedroom studio and properly sound proofed. You can shoot a gun in there and its barely audible outside the door, actually tested it by setting off firecrackers lol.

[flatscat]

get a frame with a solid base bro, none of this fecking rickety shiat metal snap together crap.

funny stuff about the roto rooter - me and my ol' always seem to do it right before and she gets mad that i "made" her start - what a little liar she is - now I know she wants me to make her start - thanks for the heads up!

[Times Roman]

Holy fvck u bitch like woman on period.....

oh, you noticed that, huh? =)

it's all good, but if I start bleeding, then you know something's going on

[Times Roman]

Some beds don't make noise no matter what you do on them. I have no idea what kind of bed I have but I can do backflips on it and it doesn't as much as make a creak.

The thing is beds DO have shock absorbers they are called springs lol. But so many beds are cheap/made like shit and screech/creak/slam into the floor while you are
banging away on it.
I'd consider going over to sleepies if you're in the states and getting a quality spring box mattress plus throwing some memory foam on top. And it can actually be the floor thats responsible which in that case you're gonna have to start ****ing on the first level of the house. I notice in some houses no matter how good a bed the floors are not built right and the slighest bit of noise always makes it way through.
And in that case the only hope is knocking down the house.

The best part about my room is not actually my bed though, its the fact that its a bedroom studio and properly sound proofed. You can shoot a gun in there and its barely audible outside the door, actually tested it by setting off firecrackers lol.

It's funny. The woman thinks she's sneaky..... she thinks if we leave the TV on and play something like the Fox News channel, then people won't know what we are up to.... So, I'm like.... Babe! When was the last time we EVER watched the FOX news channel, AND had the volume up? She just kinda tunes that part out, though.

[calgarian]

oh, you noticed that, huh? =)

it's all good, but if I start bleeding, then you know something's going on

just done get bent while dsm around

[Times Roman]

just done get bent while dsm around

I already know DSM's quarter on the floor trick. Just don't bend over to pick it up, and life is good!

[calgarian]

I already know DSM's quarter on the floor trick. Just don't bend over to pick it up, and life is good!

no...u wont bleed for another 5 minutes out of ur arse...he has other tricks......

[Times Roman]

no...u wont bleed for another 5 minutes out of ur arse...he has other tricks......

those are tricks members from the other team have mastered. Never having traveled to the other side, I wouldn't know what you are talking about. =)

I am the ostrich, koo koo kachoo

(I know it's walrus, but that doesn't fit)

[Hazard]

I have the solution to your problem......

My bed makes NO noise what so ever...... you could drop your wife from the ceiling onto my bed and no one would hear it. Pack up your bed and ship it to me..... i'll pack up mine and ship it to you. I only use my bed anymore to sleep..... might as well give it to someone who's gunna appreciate it.

~Haz~

[Times Roman]

I have the solution to your problem......

My bed makes NO noise what so ever...... you could drop your wife from the ceiling onto my bed and no one would hear it. Pack up your bed and ship it to me..... i'll pack up mine and ship it to you. I only use my bed anymore to sleep..... might as well give it to someone who's gunna appreciate it.


~Haz~

Wow mate! that's so fukkin sad I'm sitting here bawling and crying into my keyboard for you!~ Friggin hard to type without splashing all over the place..... makes a big mess.

But you guys are still real young, right? You know, once girls go through puberty their libido's start kicking in, so that gives you something to look forward to. Then after the first kid, the libido tanks until about mid 30's, then it kicks in like a turbo charge.

Just some words of encouragement from someone that has traveled down that path many years ago.

[Hazard]

Wow mate! that's so fukkin sad I'm sitting here bawling and crying into my keyboard for you!~ Friggin hard to type without splashing all over the place..... makes a big mess.

But you guys are still real young, right? You know, once girls go through puberty their libido's start kicking in, so that gives you something to look forward to. Then after the first kid, the libido tanks until about mid 30's, then it kicks in like a turbo charge.

Just some words of encouragement from someone that has traveled down that path many years ago.

So if i'm not mistaken..... at 25 years old..... her libido ought to be through the roof. Hell.... at this rate i'm never gunna have a kid. Why the fvck would I wanna have a kid if I only get laid twice a month as it is..... if it gets any less than this i'm out. I don't need a child support payment on top of it.....

~Haz~

[flatscat]

run fast my good bro, run fast

[Times Roman]

So if i'm not mistaken..... at 25 years old..... her libido ought to be through the roof. Hell.... at this rate i'm never gunna have a kid. Why the fvck would I wanna have a kid if I only get laid twice a month as it is..... if it gets any less than this i'm out. I don't need a child support payment on top of it.....

~Haz~

I had my keyboard hanging by clothes pins drying out from the last one, and then I start bawling into my keyboard again for you! Twice a month? And you are 26?

Mates and lass' libidos aren't very well dialed in at the same time. That's why alot of younger guys like you go for the cougars.... cougars (gals over 35) are fuggin ravaneous in bed. Grrrrrr! (A cougar to you would be a young chic to me, btw)

I've been on this kick lately to make my woman do the big "O" twice in a row. Without resorting to oral, I've come real close. But I keep "plugging away at it" (like the pun?) and I'll get there eventually. That's what keeps things interesting... see I've these silly goals I shoot for, and my woman digs my approach, and we talk about it during the day. I even text her booty messages telling what I'm going to do to her at night. Mate, I just turned 49 and I'm getting it about three times a week.

What i've learned over the years, and what I didn't know when I was younger was that s3x isn't something that just happens at the end of the night. It is the end result of a process that occurs over the course of the day. Let that sink in for a second.

I know, if some big dumb roman looking fukker were to tell me something like that, would i listen or take it to heart? probably not!

Well, enough of that. I've gotta text my woman I want to lick her pvssy tonight, (she'll decline since she's "that way" in the month), and then she'll offer to do me. Plus I had a kick asss interview today, so I'm looking forward to tonight.

[DSM4Life]

[Hazard]

I had my keyboard hanging by clothes pins drying out from the last one, and then I start bawling into my keyboard again for you! Twice a month? And you are 26?

Mates and lass' libidos aren't very well dialed in at the same time. That's why alot of younger guys like you go for the cougars.... cougars (gals over 35) are fuggin ravaneous in bed. Grrrrrr! (A cougar to you would be a young chic to me, btw)

I've been on this kick lately to make my woman do the big "O" twice in a row. Without resorting to oral, I've come real close. But I keep "plugging away at it" (like the pun?) and I'll get there eventually. That's what keeps things interesting... see I've these silly goals I shoot for, and my woman digs my approach, and we talk about it during the day. I even text her booty messages telling what I'm going to do to her at night. Mate, I just turned 49 and I'm getting it about three times a week.

What i've learned over the years, and what I didn't know when I was younger was that s3x isn't something that just happens at the end of the night. It is the end result of a process that occurs over the course of the day. Let that sink in for a second.

I know, if some big dumb roman looking fukker were to tell me something like that, would i listen or take it to heart? probably not!

Well, enough of that. I've gotta text my woman I want to lick her pvssy tonight, (she'll decline since she's "that way" in the month), and then she'll offer to do me. Plus I had a kick asss interview today, so I'm looking forward to tonight.

My wife CAN'T have a vaginal "O"..... never has..... not even once..... EVER. She only can have an "O" from oral..... which obviously bothers me. Sex seems to hurt her after a while..... she can't go for an hour plus..... after 20-30 minutes it gets painful. We've tried vibrators and everything under the sun to try and get her off and she can't. She especially hates vibrators..... says it feels weird and uncomfortable.

I know what you mean about the sex at the end of the night thing..... i've tried texting her durring my work day..... i've said loving things, sexy things, downright dirty things..... nothing works. She only texted me dirty shit ONE time when I went to a yankee game. I was sooooo rev'd up to get home and lay the pipe but when I got there..... she wasnt in the mood once again.

Idunno man..... I think I'm going to have a talk with her tonight and let her know how I feel. It's really starting to affect me..... and I have a suspicion it has a lot to do with me improving my body image while she keeps getting more and more upset about hers. Tho..... she has nothing to be upset over! I think she wants me to look more average and less desirable to other women. Before we got back together when I was 21 - she was obsessed with my body and how I looked..... she almost wanted to show me off.....

~Haz~

[Shol'va]

My wife CAN'T have a vaginal "O"..... never has..... not even once..... EVER. She only can have an "O" from oral..... which obviously bothers me. Sex seems to hurt her after a while..... she can't go for an hour plus..... after 20-30 minutes it gets painful. We've tried vibrators and everything under the sun to try and get her off and she can't. She especially hates vibrators..... says it feels weird and uncomfortable.

I know what you mean about the sex at the end of the night thing..... i've tried texting her durring my work day..... i've said loving things, sexy things, downright dirty things..... nothing works. She only texted me dirty shit ONE time when I went to a yankee game. I was sooooo rev'd up to get home and lay the pipe but when I got there..... she wasnt in the mood once again.

Idunno man..... I think I'm going to have a talk with her tonight and let her know how I feel. It's really starting to affect me..... and I have a suspicion it has a lot to do with me improving my body image while she keeps getting more and more upset about hers. Tho..... she has nothing to be upset over! I think she wants me to look more average and less desirable to other women. Before we got back together when I was 21 - she was obsessed with my body and how I looked..... she almost wanted to show me off.....

~Haz~

If you show, I'll watch. Anything more and DSM gets first dibs. I'll wait my turn. Sounds like you will have enough to go around with your dreaded lack of nookie disease.

[Times Roman]

My wife CAN'T have a vaginal "O"..... never has..... not even once..... EVER. She only can have an "O" from oral..... which obviously bothers me. Sex seems to hurt her after a while..... she can't go for an hour plus..... after 20-30 minutes it gets painful. We've tried vibrators and everything under the sun to try and get her off and she can't. She especially hates vibrators..... says it feels weird and uncomfortable.

I know what you mean about the sex at the end of the night thing..... i've tried texting her durring my work day..... i've said loving things, sexy things, downright dirty things..... nothing works. She only texted me dirty shit ONE time when I went to a yankee game. I was sooooo rev'd up to get home and lay the pipe but when I got there..... she wasnt in the mood once again.

Idunno man..... I think I'm going to have a talk with her tonight and let her know how I feel. It's really starting to affect me..... and I have a suspicion it has a lot to do with me improving my body image while she keeps getting more and more upset about hers. Tho..... she has nothing to be upset over! I think she wants me to look more average and less desirable to other women. Before we got back together when I was 21 - she was obsessed with my body and how I looked..... she almost wanted to show me off.....

~Haz~

be careful with armchair psychologists! (referring to me.. even dr. phil sucks)

it almost sounds like a situation I was in years ago. This feline had (unknown to me since I was slightly naive) that she had "lubrication" problems, and would get sore long before I could give her the "O" she craved. She too could get off to oral, since no friction, but not the other way. (We were dumb back in those days) So we started experimenting with Vitamin E (too thick, not very water soluable), and moved on to aloa vera (this works, but still isn't ideal). Finally, we worked up the guts to get some KY Jelly. OMG what a difference that made! It was unfukken believable!! As we were doing it, we were lubing up every ten minutes, she wasn't sore any more, bada bing, bada boom and she got her first "missionary" "O".

The biggest issue I hear from you is her willingness and eagerness. She could have some emotional baggage you may or may not know about.

Part of these relationships is they take alot of work! Shit, Haz, me and my woman had sh1t pretty rocky for several years, to where I was thinking I might have to leave. But we kept trying, until everything clicked in place, and right now, for the moment, things couldn't be better.

BTW... my woman got my text, "reminded" me she is that way in the month, texted me back in a friskey kind of way that we could explore other options. That's code for she can pitch, but not receive. Yeah!

[lil_herc81]

suspended bed.

[Times Roman]

^that almost looks like the solution. Unfortunately, I see other problems in this pic, and specific to my bedroom. In this pic, that flower pot up agaainst the wall would be a sitting duck! I'd have that thing center punched by a swinging bed in no time flat. Which brings up the problem specific to my room.... I would'nt be able to put the bed up against the wall else I imagine there would be some serious knocking against the wall issues going on. Maybe not... not sure. You could almost put your woman, asss hanging off the edge, belly up, you kneeling. The other thing I notice about that bed is you could get under it a little bit (sitting) while giving her oral. Much more comfortable... this is old bull thinking, btw...

[Hazard]

be careful with armchair psychologists! (referring to me.. even dr. phil sucks)

it almost sounds like a situation I was in years ago. This feline had (unknown to me since I was slightly naive) that she had "lubrication" problems, and would get sore long before I could give her the "O" she craved. She too could get off to oral, since no friction, but not the other way. (We were dumb back in those days) So we started experimenting with Vitamin E (too thick, not very water soluable), and moved on to aloa vera (this works, but still isn't ideal). Finally, we worked up the guts to get some KY Jelly. OMG what a difference that made! It was unfukken believable!! As we were doing it, we were lubing up every ten minutes, she wasn't sore any more, bada bing, bada boom and she got her first "missionary" "O".

The biggest issue I hear from you is her willingness and eagerness. She could have some emotional baggage you may or may not know about.

Part of these relationships is they take alot of work! Shit, Haz, me and my woman had sh1t pretty rocky for several years, to where I was thinking I might have to leave. But we kept trying, until everything clicked in place, and right now, for the moment, things couldn't be better.

BTW... my woman got my text, "reminded" me she is that way in the month, texted me back in a friskey kind of way that we could explore other options. That's code for she can pitch, but not receive. Yeah!

yea we use lube when she dries out and it does help..... but she still can't have an orgasm. We've been thinking about spending the dough to get the "G Shot" - it's a collagen injection that pushes the g spot out so it receives more contact during sex. It's expensive so it's not an option at the moment but it's just something we're looking into.

Shes perfectly fine with just having oral orgasms..... it's more me that wants her to have her first vaginal orgasm.....

~Haz~

[Times Roman]

yea we use lube when she dries out and it does help..... but she still can't have an orgasm. We've been thinking about spending the dough to get the "G Shot" - it's a collagen injection that pushes the g spot out so it receives more contact during sex. It's expensive so it's not an option at the moment but it's just something we're looking into.

Shes perfectly fine with just having oral orgasms..... it's more me that wants her to have her first vaginal orgasm.....

~Haz~

It's too bad women don't come with an instruction manuel..... Now, if ya need me to help you out, I can come over and show you how to do it! =)


btw.... maybe lubing up a big toy and you working her instead of oral could be a bridge to what you are looking for?

[lil_herc81]

Times-- Come on... Lag the F-er down to the floor on 4 corners. Save from swinging, and save the plant while rappelling yourself around your lady

[Times Roman]

Times-- Come on... Lag the F-er down to the floor on 4 corners. Save from swinging, and save the plant while rappelling yourself around your lady

I gotta admit mate, I've seen your avatar around on the internet for a couple of years now, and it still bugs the sh1t outta me. Guess that is the intended effect?

But your idea sounds like a good one! =)

[Hazard]

It's too bad women don't come with an instruction manuel..... Now, if ya need me to help you out, I can come over and show you how to do it! =)


btw.... maybe lubing up a big toy and you working her instead of oral could be a bridge to what you are looking for?

yeah we got those..... the only toy she can stand is the cyberskin dildoe things..... and even then..... she can stand it but she doesn't prefer it. she doesn't like big toys..... she likes skinny ones. Now.... i'm not thick like a can of coke but i'm not a pencil dick by any means LOL..... maybe that could be part of the issue. If it is..... shes just gotta get over it LOLOLOL!

We were talking last night about what feels good and what hurts a little..... doggy is the best feeling for her..... which is fine for me As of late..... her little button has been too sensitive to touch. So no oral orgasms either.....

Idunno man..... shes sexually fvcked up..... sucks. I did talk to her about going to speak with someone..... whether it be a doctor or a sex therapist. She seemed more receptive to it but we both agreed that we need to make sure she doesn't have another cyst on her ovary and that her vagina is in good health before we go any further.

~Haz~

[Times Roman]

yeah we got those..... the only toy she can stand is the cyberskin dildoe things..... and even then..... she can stand it but she doesn't prefer it. she doesn't like big toys..... she likes skinny ones. Now.... i'm not thick like a can of coke but i'm not a pencil dick by any means LOL..... maybe that could be part of the issue. If it is..... shes just gotta get over it LOLOLOL!

We were talking last night about what feels good and what hurts a little..... doggy is the best feeling for her..... which is fine for me As of late..... her little button has been too sensitive to touch. So no oral orgasms either.....

Idunno man..... shes sexually fvcked up..... sucks. I did talk to her about going to speak with someone..... whether it be a doctor or a sex therapist. She seemed more receptive to it but we both agreed that we need to make sure she doesn't have another cyst on her ovary and that her vagina is in good health before we go any further.

~Haz~

my woman had issues too for many years. I was always too long for her. would gladly give up about a half inch for extra girth, but not too much else taht would create issues too. then the birth of our son, and the butcher that sewed her back up.... that was painful for at least a year. finally, we got a real soft pink dldo, and with a ton of ky, worked through some issues. all i can say is that it takes awhile. recommend talking to someone. we never did, but i'm sure it would have helped us