Need some work advice seriously.

**Tigershark** · 12-20-2010, 04:42 AM

For the last 12 years I have worked with disabled kids. My specialty is autism and always loved my work.
Recently we opened a new unit for kids who are emotionally disturbed. Meaning they have suffered some type of trauma in life such as abuse or rape and they need serious counseling to help them through it.
About 2 months ago I was asked to run this unit and although difficult at times I was doing great until my boss hired a new therapist. She is a very hearts and flower type of person and basically she wants these kids to feel like victims.
What ever happened to taking power back? Rape is all about power and I think we all know that.
I tried to get these kids who are age 16-19 into a rape support group but I was blocked by this therapist who told me they need to be able to express themselves as victims and feel like victims because by them taking power they are no better then thier predators.
I mean WTF is that? Am I wrong here?
So now in the past 2 weeks I have gone from a unit with kids who were doing great to now constantly walking around acting like spoiled little pricks telling my staff to leave them alone because they are victims and can do whatever they because the world owes them.
I went to my boss to express my concerns but it fell on deaf ears because we got her at a good price. Get what you pay for I guess.
Am I the one being insensative here? Someone help me out here before I loose my mind or strangle some hippie lady.

**DSM4Life** · 12-20-2010, 04:47 AM

Maybe because they try to internalize it and ignore the fact they were raped they first need to accept they really were raped and to get the emotions of what happened out. More importanly they need to understand it wasn't their fault. Instead of denial they need to realize they were raped , face it, and use that to get over it.

**stack_it** · 12-20-2010, 04:48 AM

Nothings gonna change until she's gone. Yes the kids were victims but only during the attack. Now they should be recovering not dwelling.

**DSM4Life** · 12-20-2010, 04:50 AM

Originally Posted by stack_it

Nothings gonna change until she's gone. Yes the kids were victims but only during the attack. Now they should be recovering not dwelling.

But if you deny it ever happened how do you ever get over it ?

I am not a shrink but its just my view on things.

**stack_it** · 12-20-2010, 04:51 AM

They need to get over it and move on. If they see they get special treatment by acting depressed and hurt then they'll never recover because they like that treatment. We are talking about kids here. This is when there habits and personalities are formed. She's making them week and letting them believe they are entitled.

**calgarian** · 12-20-2010, 04:51 AM

is she fat?

ihave nothing to say for those kids just my heart goes out to them...

**stack_it** · 12-20-2010, 04:53 AM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

But if you deny it ever happened how do you ever get over it ?

I am not a shrink but its just my view on things.

I'm not saying deny it happened. I'm just saying don't dwell on it. They all know it happened and if they see it happened to others and they moved on and live normal lives it will let them know there not alone and can move on aswell. Rather than making them feel like because of one idiots actions towards them the entire world owes them.

**lil_herc81** · 12-20-2010, 04:54 AM

I think that your logic is exceptional! Be strong, move forward and not live in the past or dwell on bad experiences. You appear to be promoting life lessons opposed to handicaps. Dont back down, these kids need someone like you!

**DSM4Life** · 12-20-2010, 04:58 AM

Originally Posted by stack_it

I'm not saying deny it happened. I'm just saying don't dwell on it. They all know it happened and if they see it happened to others and they moved on and live normal lives it will let them know there not alone and can move on aswell. Rather than making them feel like because of one idiots actions towards them the entire world owes them.

I have learned before i can help someone i need to fully understand them first. If someone asked me how i would feel if i was raped at 16 my brain couldn't even begin to comprehend it. You say they know they were raped but do they really ? Do they really understand it ? Some kids at that age don't even understand sex yet. There needs to be a lot of explaining there. Who knows if a kids asks, why me ? was it something i did ?

Just like someone who is hooked on drugs. Before they can get help they need to understand they have a problem that is out of their control.

**stack_it** · 12-20-2010, 05:04 AM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

I have learned before i can help someone i need to fully understand them first. If someone asked me how i would feel if i was raped at 16 my brain couldn't even begin to comprehend it. You say they know they were raped but do they really ? Do they really understand it ? Some kids at that age don't even understand sex yet. There needs to be a lot of explaining there. Who knows if a kids asks, why me ? was it something i did ?

Just like someone who is hooked on drugs. Before they can get help they need to understand they have a problem that is out of their control.

I can see your points aswell. I guess it would just need to be a good mixture of the two. Get them to spill there guts and let there feelings out but make them want to move on and leave it in there past. Don't forget but don't let it ruin the rest of there lives. I'm not a shrink and never will be. It's got to bs a hard job especially if all you deal with is kids.

Tigershark you've got a ton of my respect for doing the work you do.

**DSM4Life** · 12-20-2010, 05:10 AM

Originally Posted by stack_it

I can see your points aswell. I guess it would just need to be a good mixture of the two. Get them to spill there guts and let there feelings out but make them want to move on and leave it in there past. Don't forget but don't let it ruin the rest of there lives. I'm not a shrink and never will be. It's got to bs a hard job especially if all you deal with is kids.

Tigershark you've got a ton of my respect for doing the work you do.

Agree. Once they understand it wasn't their fault and that they were taken advantage of then they can begin to heal.

Must be tough to face these poor kids everyday.

**calgarian** · 12-20-2010, 06:28 AM

Originally Posted by stack_it

I can see your points aswell. I guess it would just need to be a good mixture of the two. Get them to spill there guts and let there feelings out but make them want to move on and leave it in there past. Don't forget but don't let it ruin the rest of there lives. I'm not a shrink and never will be. It's got to bs a hard job especially if all you deal with is kids.

Tigershark you've got a ton of my respect for doing the work you do.

x2.....

**Tigershark** · 01-06-2011, 10:26 PM

I know I am dredging up an old thread, but it appears they are looking for a new therapist to take over my unit. The only hold up right now is they would like to replace the one we have now with another female as a majority of our clients are females.
It took a lot of complaining on all our staff to get this ball rolling and so far it would appear it is paying off. It will be nice to see these kids get the help they need.

**terraj** · 01-06-2011, 10:48 PM

Good to hear and much respect for you.

**Standby** · 01-06-2011, 10:55 PM

respect bro for sure. glad things are getting back to good

**DSM4Life** · 01-07-2011, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by Tigershark

I know I am dredging up an old thread, but it appears they are looking for a new therapist to take over my unit. The only hold up right now is they would like to replace the one we have now with another female as a majority of our clients are females.
It took a lot of complaining on all our staff to get this ball rolling and so far it would appear it is paying off. It will be nice to see these kids get the help they need.

Did you tell them you only have one working nut ? That might help you qualify as a female !