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  1. #1
    C Dub's Avatar
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    When do you call it quits?

    I feel like I am done with my current relationship and ready to be single again. She says she loves me and can even see herself with me " for ever " but every time something small happens or we have a little argument she thinks about breaking up and then comes to realize what she has... I'm starting to feel I am way better than her and deserve a lot better. It has always been hard for me to end things but better now than later right?

  2. #2
    DSM4Life's Avatar
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    Sounds like she is young...

  3. #3
    stack_it's Avatar
    stack_it is offline Nothing to it, but to do it
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    It's time to call it quits when you no longer feel you wanna be with her. If you are not happy then leave. The longer you stay around, the harder it will be.

  4. #4
    Times Roman's Avatar
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    can't give advice mate unless we know the specifics.... common children? married?

    if none of the above, you are g2g

  5. #5
    C Dub's Avatar
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    Not married,no children.. Btw I am 24 yo....Another thing that pisses me off is she doesnt want me to talk to some girls that I have hooked up with in the past before we even started talking, hooked up as in just making out... She thinks its ok to still talk to her ex bf even tho he is still im love with her but she just cant not talk to him even tho I have toled her it bothers me that they talk sometimes. Do you guys care if your girl still talks to an ex even if she has no feelings towards them?

  6. #6
    Times Roman's Avatar
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    I'm twice your age (plus), and there is a reason I stay with my woman.... you know how tough it is to find a good woman, then "train" her the right way....
    the thing that is missing from your gf is that she is selfish.... the way a good relationship is supposed to work? It's a two way street... you are supposed to trust her, and she is supposed to act in such a way so that there is no perception of fooling around with an ex.... she is probably not, but it kinda looks that way. When a woman breaks off with a man... it should be a clean break, then she needs to put up a firewall and no longer socialize with him, especially when she is with a new man.... that's a real good way cheating can happen.... she's already fukked the guy many times before.... all that really needs to happen is she and him together at a party.... a little drinking... a little reminiscing down memory lane.... next thing you know.... sh1t happens. I don't trust ANY woman that don't put up that firewall after she starts in with a new man..... too many games mate.... but you are just as guilty.... you are still talking with girls you've made out with which means you too have NOT put up a firewall......

    this is kid shit

    it sounds like you both need to grow up some more....

    and it also sounds like you both have a fukked relationship

    both are guilty

  7. #7
    C Dub's Avatar
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    The girls I have hooked up with was a very long time before we started dating and I have just remained friends with them... As far as any exs or women I have had sex with I dont talk to anymore.

  8. #8
    SlimmerMe's Avatar
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    Girls are VERY territorial. Think like a Tiger in the wild. Is is deep in our DNA. If we think for ONE minute that you are interested in a girl from the past or the future, then we do no trust you at all. Trust is the most important thing and if she trust you, then you can proceed in the relationship. If not, then start over with another girl and build the trust asap. Otherwise it is waste of time.

  9. #9
    Times Roman's Avatar
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    Another thing that pisses me off is she doesnt want me to talk to some girls that I have hooked up with in the past before we even started talking, hooked up as in just making out
    This is a quote from you.....
    I agree with your woman.... if you made out with these women, then you were attracted to them and acted on that attraction... if you respect your woman and her feelings, then you would not associate with these women... period!
    You better have your back yard clean before you ask her to clean hers!

    You want your woman to not hang out with her ex's yet you still see these women? really?

    Like I said earlier... this is kid shitt

    you both need to reevaluate what it means to be in a relationship....

    ...cause right now? It sounds like neither of you really understands what work it takes to make a good relationship. Work = Sacrafice. If you aint willing to sacrafice, then you will never have a good relationship. You need to sacrafice the relationships you have with these women you've made out with. If you can't do that, and when you do marry.... you will become part of the divorce statistics....

    Like I said... take a long look in the mirror. Why have you not stopped seeing these other women after your woman has already asked you to stop?

    What do you value more? Your woman, or these other silly things you've made out with?

    This is silly. You already know the answer

  10. #10
    C Dub's Avatar
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    I agree with both of you. I havnt once seen these women since we have been dating out of respect towards my girl. Every once in awhile they might text me and just ask how im doing and I don't see a problem with that. I mean like maybe once a month or so

  11. #11
    chi's Avatar
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    move on you need to experience life a lot more this a filler relationship in which you both grow and take what you need from each other as learning experiences go. Its messed up but thats the way it works.

  12. #12
    Times Roman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by C Dub View Post
    I agree with both of you. I havnt once seen these women since we have been dating out of respect towards my girl. Every once in awhile they might text me and just ask how im doing and I don't see a problem with that. I mean like maybe once a month or so
    Why is your woman, on the one hand getting upset you won't stop talking to these other women, and on the other hand, you say they may text you once a month?

    something doesn't smell right? Is she skitzo, or are you pullin ol' romans leg?

  13. #13
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    Well, I'm 22 married and have a baby on the way. Many say I'm too young but good for me my wife grew up in a convent no joke. Once she got out of it at 16 she went a little crazy when her eyes opened to the world but when I met her at 18 in Iraq (we were both in the military, I joined for my family legacy and she joined for the "experience") we have been honest with her I introduced her to girls I banged and made out with and she introduced me to her far fewer guys and now were very trusting, shes secure enough to know I only want her and I'm secure enough to know I'm awesome and she likes Awesome! I let her hang out with guys alone and I can hang out with girls alone because were secure enough in ourselves.

  14. #14
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    I'm deferring to Roman on this one. I would give my opinion, but then Roman would be all like, "that is exactly what I said...stop copying me."

    Only one thing to add: I don't care what anyone says, relationships aren't about love. You would fall in love ten times a year if you had the time. It is compatibility, and compatibility alone, that contributes to a long, healthy relationship. So, start with love and test for compatibility.

  15. #15
    SlimmerMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas View Post
    I'm deferring to Roman on this one. I would give my opinion, but then Roman would be all like, "that is exactly what I said...stop copying me."

    Only one thing to add: I don't care what anyone says, relationships aren't about love. You would fall in love ten times a year if you had the time. It is compatibility, and compatibility alone, that contributes to a long, healthy relationship. So, start with love and test for compatibility.
    interesting take and so true in many ways

  16. #16
    C Dub's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas View Post
    I'm deferring to Roman on this one. I would give my opinion, but then Roman would be all like, "that is exactly what I said...stop copying me."

    Only one thing to add: I don't care what anyone says, relationships aren't about love. You would fall in love ten times a year if you had the time. It is compatibility, and compatibility alone, that contributes to a long, healthy relationship. So, start with love and test for compatibility.
    Wow this is soooooo true. It is hard to break up with someone when you are in love with them but when you know you are not compatible it has to be done. It sucks but I guess thats just a part of life.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by C Dub View Post
    When do you call it quits?
    when the fun is over

  18. #18
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    Too much bullshit analytics going on here. From what I have learned from personal experiene, and the insights of Bojangles through PM's, there is no point to even discuss this shit, it should just be ended. All I hear are justifications from you about why you shoulnd't break up. You seem to be trying to convince yourself not to do something that your gut instinct tells you to do. You're emotions which are dictated by chemical reactions, are telling you to stay with her, whilst your human intellect and logic are telling you to leave. If I had listened to my intellect and logic over my primal chemically induced 'emotions' I would have avoided a lot of troublesome and hurtful heartache in my life to date. Listen to your logic, do what you KNOW is the right thing.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by thegodfather View Post
    Too much bullshit analytics going on here. From what I have learned from personal experiene, and the insights of Bojangles through PM's, there is no point to even discuss this shit, it should just be ended. All I hear are justifications from you about why you shoulnd't break up. You seem to be trying to convince yourself not to do something that your gut instinct tells you to do. You're emotions which are dictated by chemical reactions, are telling you to stay with her, whilst your human intellect and logic are telling you to leave. If I had listened to my intellect and logic over my primal chemically induced 'emotions' I would have avoided a lot of troublesome and hurtful heartache in my life to date. Listen to your logic, do what you KNOW is the right thing.
    This is great advice. This morning I listened to my intellect and did what I know was right.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by SlimmerMe View Post
    Girls are VERY territorial. Think like a Tiger in the wild. Is is deep in our DNA. If we think for ONE minute that you are interested in a girl from the past or the future, then we do no trust you at all. Trust is the most important thing and if she trust you, then you can proceed in the relationship. If not, then start over with another girl and build the trust asap. Otherwise it is waste of time.

    I usually just pee around my men!

  21. #21
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    Dump her

  22. #22
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    Youre way too worried. And so is she. You gotta realize that if somebody is gonna cheat on you, theres no way youre gonna stop it from happening. So you might as well stop worrying about it. Worrying about it just makes it way worse cause now it makes the other person feel like they have to sneak around to talk to people. This very behavior creates a "secret" relationship between them and the other person. This "secret" they then have together facilitates the action of cheating since the trust is already broke because of the secrecy they have to keep to talk. You cant control people youre gonna have to come to terms with that. Your controlling behavior also makes you seem like you lack confidence in yourself which is the number 1 reason a girl would cheat on you in a weak moment with somebody that looks more confident. Try letting her do whatever she wants instead youll get much better results.

  23. #23
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    I agree with times Roman an Slimmer me on this one.I am twice your age never been one to stray and dont mess with Xs.Only trouble.You make your partner insecure it will bite you in the ass one day.

  24. #24
    C Dub's Avatar
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    We have only been dating for 5 months but we have been together everyday. I feel like maybe I am just use to havong her around and I dnt want to be alone? I know these are the wrong reasons to ne with her but im really confused

  25. #25
    SlimmerMe's Avatar
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    what is the REAL problem?

    jealousy?
    trust?

    nothing is perfect.....many things can be worked out and some are hard to fix.....

  26. #26
    C Dub's Avatar
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    Jealousy is a problem for sure. I also feel like we are starting to butt heads a lot. She gets angry really easy,very selfish, hates to communicate with me when I try and talk to her about us. There are a lot of little things that causs.us to.argue a lot. Maybe we need timd apart? Mayb we should go back to being friends? Idk...

  27. #27
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    man you just got to break up with her, its done. ive tried to repair relationships like this, sh*t dont work bro. best thing i could have done is been single like i am now. it has caused me to become what ive become over the year all i care about it working out its now my life and ill never have a girl that will effect it.

    i was in 2 relationships over 3 years (2 weeks in between both) i rebounded with the second girl but ended up "falling inlove" but we didnt work out. been single exactly a year of today and i have accomplished so much in this year. you dont need this girl your "honeymoon" months are over and your not happy anymore. find another one and for the first 3-4months it will be "honeymoon" months again and youll love it. your 24 y/o live that life bro

  28. #28
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    i think you know the answer too...

    deep down, do you really think it is going to work? if things continue and you are together in 3, 5, 10 years time will you be happy?

  29. #29
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    dude...sounds like she has some trust / relationship issues.

    I'm telling you...IT WON'T GO AWAY. SHE WON'T GET BETTER. Women don't change. So if you love her enough to be with her despite her craziness, then do it. But I promise you if she does that break up sh*t...she'll just do the "why don't we just get a divorce" sh*t later.

  30. #30
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    Only going to get worse if your not happy then leave.

  31. #31
    SlimmerMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by C Dub View Post
    Jealousy is a problem for sure. I also feel like we are starting to butt heads a lot. She gets angry really easy,very selfish, hates to communicate with me when I try and talk to her about us. There are a lot of little things that causs.us to.argue a lot. Maybe we need timd apart? Mayb we should go back to being friends? Idk...
    What makes her angry?
    examples of her being selfish, if you want to share some
    in what way does she not want to communicate? and how much do you REALLY try to communicate

  32. #32
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    Too much work in 5 months time bro.

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