Taking woman to bed

**calgarian** · 03-30-2011, 09:17 AM

TAKING A WOMAN TO BED

What is the difference between girls/women aged:
8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78 ?

At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!

At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???

**SlimmerMe** · 03-30-2011, 09:33 AM

and for men? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**calgarian** · 03-30-2011, 09:49 AM

Originally Posted by SlimmerMe

and for men? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

y dont u tell us?

**JohnnyVegas** · 03-30-2011, 10:09 AM

For men it is all the same: look at them and they are ready for bed.

**calgarian** · 03-30-2011, 10:13 AM

Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas

For men it is all the same: look at them and they are ready for bed.

they get me at "Hi" while my back is towards them

**MACHINE5150** · 03-30-2011, 10:19 AM

^^^Good one

**SlimmerMe** · 03-30-2011, 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by calgarian

y dont u tell us?

with no extras? as in Viagra, Cialis, Test C, Test P or Test E?

8.....loves any story

18.... "can't think" at all for any story

28....makes up any 'ole story to suit his purpose

38....he starts to wonder about his story

48....he despises his story

58....he tries to remember his story

68.....his story is a mirage

78.....his story is kaput

88....he is the story

**calgarian** · 03-30-2011, 10:40 AM

as long he gets what he is after

**Knockout_Power** · 03-30-2011, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by SlimmerMe

with no extras? as in Viagra, Cialis, Test C, Test P or Test E?

8.....loves any story

18.... "can't think" at all for any story

28....makes up any 'ole story to suit his purpose

38....he starts to wonder about his story

48....he despises his story

58....he tries to remember his story

68.....his story is a mirage

78.....his story is kaput

88....he is the story

heh, this is very true... but you left out one critical part... somewhere around age 38 you should add "his stories about past experiences get exaggerated"

**calgarian** · 03-30-2011, 11:03 AM

just to clarify...i dont tell them stories...picture of cheese cake or tripple stack beef burger get them in the mood. and they are ready for any "kind" of "meat"

**Knockout_Power** · 03-30-2011, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by calgarian

just to clarify...i dont tell them stories...picture of cheese cake or tripple stack beef burger get them in the mood. and they are ready for any "kind" of "meat"

I just got excited

**calgarian** · 03-30-2011, 11:07 AM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

I just got excited

**SlimmerMe** · 03-30-2011, 11:54 AM

Creamy cake will work anytime anywhere.....smart man you are Cal!

**calgarian** · 03-30-2011, 01:24 PM

Originally Posted by SlimmerMe

Creamy cake will work anytime anywhere.....smart man you are Cal!

thank you mam......burger trick only work for certain ppl.

**songdog** · 03-30-2011, 01:38 PM

I like a good bed time story

**calgarian** · 03-30-2011, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by songdog

I like a good bed time story

make sure dsm doesnt know abt it

**Knockout_Power** · 03-30-2011, 03:05 PM

creamy cake huh? What about a creampie?

**lovbyts** · 03-31-2011, 02:13 AM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

creamy cake huh? What about a creampie?

hahaha that was going to be my comment. Glad I read to the bottom (pun intended).

**Times Roman** · 03-31-2011, 04:40 AM

Originally Posted by SlimmerMe

with no extras? as in Viagra, Cialis, Test C, Test P or Test E?

8.....loves any story

18.... "can't think" at all for any story

28....makes up any 'ole story to suit his purpose

38....he starts to wonder about his story

48....he despises his story

58....he tries to remember his story

68.....his story is a mirage

78.....his story is kaput

88....he is the story

HEY!!!

This puts me in an unsavory category!

**DSM4Life** · 03-31-2011, 05:37 AM

**lovbyts** · 03-31-2011, 05:43 AM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

HEY!!!

This puts me in an unsavory category!

Dont worry, with the advances in HRT you shouldn't be Kaput for long.

**Times Roman** · 03-31-2011, 07:02 AM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

Dont worry, with the advances in HRT you shouldn't be Kaput for long.

I think we should change this

from:
48....he despises his story

to:
48....horny as fuk

**SlimmerMe** · 03-31-2011, 10:08 AM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

I think we should change this

from:
48....he despises his story

to:
48....horny as fuk

note: I said without any Test .......but with? WATCH OUT! MOVE OVER ROVER!

**SlimmerMe** · 03-31-2011, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

creamy cake huh? What about a creampie?

Cream Pie? yummy...that will work~

**Knockout_Power** · 03-31-2011, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by SlimmerMe

Cream Pie? yummy...that will work~

awww, now I actually feel bad for posting that... you are too cute and innocent

**SlimmerMe** · 03-31-2011, 10:28 AM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

awww, now I actually feel bad for posting that... you are too cute and innocent

Maybe I am innocent....I do not see anything "bad" about cream pie other than a lot of calories!

**Kawigirl** · 03-31-2011, 10:32 AM

NOT that kind of cream pie sweetie

**Times Roman** · 03-31-2011, 10:47 AM

Slimmer....??? Cream pie isn't a pastry

**Knockout_Power** · 03-31-2011, 10:50 AM

Originally Posted by SlimmerMe

Maybe I am innocent....I do not see anything "bad" about cream pie other than a lot of calories!

yup, you be a sweetie, thats for sure...

go to google images and type in Creampie...

**Times Roman** · 03-31-2011, 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by Knockout_Power

yup, you be a sweetie, thats for sure...

go to google images and type in Creampie...

why would you tell her that? Slimmer is pure and innocent. she doesn't need to be corrupted by that!

**Knockout_Power** · 03-31-2011, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

why would you tell her that? Slimmer is pure and innocent. she doesn't need to be corrupted by that!

she's a sweetheart, but still a member and therefore should not be excluded from any discussion unless she so chooses =P

**Times Roman** · 03-31-2011, 11:24 AM

sure... get technical on me!

**calgarian** · 03-31-2011, 11:26 AM

Originally Posted by SlimmerMe

Maybe I am innocent....I do not see anything "bad" about cream pie other than a lot of calories!

Originally Posted by Kawigirl

NOT that kind of cream pie sweetie

**Times Roman** · 03-31-2011, 11:30 AM

you guys take it easy on Slimmer.... she aint rude, crude and obnoxious like the rest of us!

**SlimmerMe** · 03-31-2011, 11:38 AM

SlimmerMe's "Cutting" Creamiest Cream Pie Recipe:

28 egg whites

Blend just a bit but not too much since you want to keep the texture

Remove from blender

Note: No crust since trying to "cut" and not gain

Pour blended cream directly into mouth and swallow for savory creamy delight

and for those who want to gain, add a bit of hand-made whipped cream~

Enjoy!

**Times Roman** · 03-31-2011, 11:41 AM

Originally Posted by SlimmerMe

SlimmerMe's "Cutting" Creamiest Cream Pie Recipe:

28 egg whites

Blend just a bit but not too much since you want to keep the texture

Remove from blender

Note: No crust since trying to "cut" and not gain

Pour blended cream directly into mouth and swallow for savory creamy delight

and for those who want to gain, add a bit of hand-made whipped cream~

Enjoy!

that's what I love about you Slimmer.... you only see the pure and the good! =)

Please don't change, k?

**calgarian** · 03-31-2011, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by SlimmerMe

SlimmerMe's "Cutting" Creamiest Cream Pie Recipe:

28 egg whites

Blend just a bit but not too much since you want to keep the texture

Remove from blender

Note: No crust since trying to "cut" and not gain

Pour blended cream directly into mouth and swallow for savory creamy delight

and for those who want to gain, add a bit of hand-made whipped cream~

Enjoy!

honey...if u r that innocent u r in the wrong forum ......but good to know

**Times Roman** · 03-31-2011, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by calgarian

honey...if u r that innocent u r in the wrong forum ......but good to know

she's in the right place....

**Knockout_Power** · 03-31-2011, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by SlimmerMe

SlimmerMe's "Cutting" Creamiest Cream Pie Recipe:

28 egg whites

Blend just a bit but not too much since you want to keep the texture

Remove from blender

Note: No crust since trying to "cut" and not gain

Pour blended cream directly into mouth and swallow for savory creamy delight

and for those who want to gain, add a bit of hand-made whipped cream~

Enjoy!

toucheé... see, intelligence can combat us perv's anytime