Relationship lulls

[PitMaster]

I realize most couples that been together awhile go through lulls at some point in time. Any u guys think there is a cap limit on this? I have brought it up several times. This just makes it worse. So now I don't even try. I wish I had an answer and know a better approach. After so many times being rejected it kinda does a number on ya. I mean there is a point where u don't want to kiss ass anymore in attempts to make things better, just to see that your still not getting anywhere. I feel like I'm waiting for her to make a move and it's just not happening. I have been faithful for these last 6 years and believe her to be the same. I hope this was not in vain. No affection at all, no bj's on b-days anyore and I'm not even married. Twice in the sack in two years is a long damn stretch. I doesn't even have to be sex. I enjoy being touched. I eat alone in the kitchen, I go to bed at different hours, sleep on couch doesn't even matter. I still love her, make her lunch before work and have something hot when she gets out. Granted the last couple years we have been through a lot of hard times. Deaths, injuries, financial woes...I've been looking at other women and smiling so much more. I'm at a loss..
Anyone else have similar experience and some wisdom to shed on this subject?
This is kinda personal stuff, I'm just really discouraged. At least hittin the bench helps.

[baseline_9]

Move on

Find someone new

You wont regret it IMO

Its a sad situation for you, why dont you sit down and speak about separating...


You cannot force love or a relationship

[DSM4Life]

If you guys can't openly communicate anymore seek 3rd party counseling (if you really want it) OR save both of you a lot of heartache and just leave.

[RaginCajun]

i haven't been i a relationship for that time period but i think maybe yall could use a break. see how much she really cares for you. you seem to be committed in the relationship. maybe try to take a trip somewhere to spice things up and if that doesn't work, then take some time apart and see what happens. i feel for ya man! women, such strange creatures!

[DSM4Life]

i haven't been i a relationship for that time period but i think maybe yall could use a break. see how much she really cares for you. you seem to be committed in the relationship. maybe try to take a trip somewhere to spice things up and if that doesn't work, then take some time apart and see what happens. i feel for ya man! women, such strange creatures!

Yup which i why i ditched the entire gender all together

[PitMaster]

Move on

Find someone new

You wont regret it IMO

Its a sad situation for you, why dont you sit down and speak about separating...


You cannot force love or a relationship

Well she has stuck beside me through some trying times. I can't imagine breaking her heart. I'm the kinda guy that will except something being wrong for the rest of my life and live with it before I hurt her. I have thought about it mentioning a trial seperation, I'm just not sure how that's gonna go. I don't imagine well. I suppose if I can approach it like it might of been her idea then that would be better.

[baseline_9]

I have been with my GF for over 7 years now

Our relationship is better now than it has ever been

We do not live together so that may be one thing that is keeping us going strong

I cant ever imagine not being with her



Im not rubbing it in but you need to see that relationships either work or they dont... If you have to make it work then IMO it will not last...

Do you not do anything together?

What do you do as a couple?

[PitMaster]

i haven't been i a relationship for that time period but i think maybe yall could use a break. see how much she really cares for you. you seem to be committed in the relationship. maybe try to take a trip somewhere to spice things up and if that doesn't work, then take some time apart and see what happens. i feel for ya man! women, such strange creatures!

If I do that she may do the same and want to see if I really care. I guess I'm not obvious enough.

Yup which i why i ditched the entire gender all together

I have mentioned therapy she said she would, but so far it's just been talk.
As for the gender thing I can't imagine kissing a gross hairy face..ewww sweaty big nasty...gross! Maybe I should just drink some beers and let another guy put it in his mouth, if he asks real nice that is. Wouldn't make me gay if I'm not touching him or looking at him. I'll just close my eyes and think happy thoughts. j/k
I dunno why but big girls and guys like me. 1/2 vietnamese 1/2 white assho*e.

[PitMaster]

I have been with my GF for over 7 years now

Our relationship is better now than it has ever been

We do not live together so that may be one thing that is keeping us going strong

I cant ever imagine not being with her



Im not rubbing it in but you need to see that relationships either work or they dont... If you have to make it work then IMO it will not last...

Do you not do anything together?

What do you do as a couple?

Well financially strapped so we don't go out at all. So u wonder how I afford cycle. Family member wanted to see me dig myself out of this injury and move on. What we do together...hallway sex...pass each other in the hallway and tell each other to fvck off. J/k
Stumped me already. umm text each other on the phone see if either of us needs anything. Best I can come up with for now. Brainstorm together how to pay bills..losts fun happening there.

[baseline_9]

Well financially strapped so we don't go out at all. So u wonder how I afford cycle. Family member wanted to see me dig myself out of this injury and move on. What we do together...hallway sex...pass each other in the hallway and tell each other to fvck off. J/k
Stumped me already. umm text each other on the phone see if either of us needs anything. Best I can come up with for now. Brainstorm together how to pay bills..losts fun happening there.

What did you guys enjoy doing when you first met each other...

List everything you used to do and things that made you both happy.

What made your lives together fun.... By the sounds of it there is nothing happening ATM and that is the problem

[dec11]

twice in the sack in 2yrs?!

its over mate, well and truely

[powerliftmike]

My last relationship with my girlfriend went this way.. At first it was sex many times per week, always talked and did cute things together. Man I fell in love. She could be so ****ing cute and sexy. Knew she'd make a good wife and mom. Clean girl, not typical skank I usually roll with lol.

...but yea, the affection from her side just starting dying down. It wasnt like she was seeing another guy either..and I trusted her more than any girl ive been with. Just her feelings went away, I know the stress of her going back to school and her dad being a piece of shit (long story) had alot to do with it but still it was weird. As she lost feelings we werent on the same page and it started minor fights and arguments because of it. I got really hurt and still wish it never happened that way, I really put my heart into that relationship. I knew though she either needed time to miss me and sort things out and we would get back together down the road OR I'd find a girl that would love me the same or more and give me the affection and attention I need.

I say walk away, give her space like I did. Its gonna be hard. Her number is still in my phone and we promised to try to stay great friends forever. We text every few weeks a couple times but that's about it. I'll be there for her always [you said you dont wanna hurt this girl, you dont have to]. but damn do you wanna live the rest of your life like this? I didnt. I need affection and attention, wanna feel loved. Think we all do.

[baseline_9]

twice in the sack in 2yrs?!

its over mate, well and truely

I think im pretty straight talking most of the time but Dec beats me hands down here

[baseline_9]

My last relationship with my girlfriend went this way.. At first it was sex many times per week, always talked and did cute things together. Man I fell in love. She could be so ****ing cute and sexy. Knew she'd make a good wife and mom. Clean girl, not typical skank I usually roll with lol.

...but yea, the affection from her side just starting dying down. It wasnt like she was seeing another guy either..and I trusted her more than any girl ive been with. Just her feelings went away, I know the stress of her going back to school and her dad being a piece of shit (long story) had alot to do with it but still it was weird. As she lost feelings we werent on the same page and it started minor fights and arguments because of it. I got really hurt and still wish it never happened that way, I really put my heart into that relationship. I knew though she either needed time to miss me and sort things out and we would get back together down the road OR I'd find a girl that would love me the same or more and give me the affection and attention I need.

I say walk away, give her space like I did. Its gonna be hard. Her number is still in my phone and we promised to try to stay great friends forever. We text every few weeks a couple times but that's about it. I'll be there for her always [you said you dont wanna hurt this girl, you dont have to]. but damn do you wanna live the rest of your life like this? I didnt. I need affection and attention, wanna feel loved. Think we all do.

You big softy mike....

Do you think you will end up back together... I think it would be nice if you did... I cant imagine just being friends, that would tear me up even more

[PitMaster]

My last relationship with my girlfriend went this way.. At first it was sex many times per week, always talked and did cute things together. Man I fell in love. She could be so ****ing cute and sexy. Knew she'd make a good wife and mom. Clean girl, not typical skank I usually roll with lol.

...but yea, the affection from her side just starting dying down. It wasnt like she was seeing another guy either..and I trusted her more than any girl ive been with. Just her feelings went away, I know the stress of her going back to school and her dad being a piece of shit (long story) had alot to do with it but still it was weird. As she lost feelings we werent on the same page and it started minor fights and arguments because of it. I got really hurt and still wish it never happened that way, I really put my heart into that relationship. I knew though she either needed time to miss me and sort things out and we would get back together down the road OR I'd find a girl that would love me the same or more and give me the affection and attention I need.

I say walk away, give her space like I did. Its gonna be hard. Her number is still in my phone and we promised to try to stay great friends forever. We text every few weeks a couple times but that's about it. I'll be there for her always [you said you dont wanna hurt this girl, you dont have to]. but damn do you wanna live the rest of your life like this? I didnt. I need affection and attention, wanna feel loved. Think we all do.

Those last few sentences made me take a deep breath.

What did you guys enjoy doing when you first met each other...

List everything you used to do and things that made you both happy.

What made your lives together fun.... By the sounds of it there is nothing happening ATM and that is the problem

I'm gonna have to lift first and absorb all this and get back to u

twice in the sack in 2yrs?!

its over mate, well and truely

I think im pretty straight talking most of the time but Dec beats me hands down here

That's what I figured, In her defense though. She has lost her mother due to a hanging a yr. ago. I know she suffers from anxiety issues and may have some kind of bi-polar action going on for awhile now. It kinda runs in her family. I don't even know if it's bi-polar but some type of mental disability. So I definitely feel like I would be leaving her for the wolves. She is doing better for herself now and I think it would be bad timing on my part to slow her progession. The less negative things in her life right now may be better. A vacation would be nice..I'm thinking red light district on test and viagra.

[RaginCajun]

Yup which i why i ditched the entire gender all together

hahaha! i still love'em though!

[RaginCajun]

are yall engaged? maybe she wants some bling on her finger? that will make her put out for sure! hahahahahaha

i hope u figure it out before you get hurt. things just have a way of working themselves out

[PitMaster]

I gotta lift and thx. guys for the feedback.
Mike did you move on with another woman? Does the thought of her being with someone else eat u up inside? I mean we have no affection right now for each other if I do a trial seperation and she's getting attention from another guy then what does that make me? Why am I so damn wrong? I don't think she would be getting that kind of attention from someone else anyway. I proly just nieve, or denial. How long have u been seperated and still talking to her on regular basis?

[PitMaster]

are yall engaged? maybe she wants some bling on her finger? that will make her put out for sure! hahahahahaha

i hope u figure it out before you get hurt. things just have a way of working themselves out

Engaged...I just got her another ruby/diamond for her b-day a week ago today. Made her a chocolate cake stuff some fresh yellow flowers in it for looks. Card with inspiring and how proud I was of her. I gotta hug! closed mouth kiss. She went work.....

[DSM4Life]

If I do that she may do the same and want to see if I really care. I guess I'm not obvious enough.



I have mentioned therapy she said she would, but so far it's just been talk.
As for the gender thing I can't imagine kissing a gross hairy face..ewww sweaty big nasty...gross! Maybe I should just drink some beers and let another guy put it in his mouth, if he asks real nice that is. Wouldn't make me gay if I'm not touching him or looking at him. I'll just close my eyes and think happy thoughts. j/k
I dunno why but big girls and guys like me. 1/2 vietnamese 1/2 white assho*e.

FACT: If your drunk it's not gay.

[Twist]

It's over. Don't worry about breaking her heart, she broke yours and she doesn't even like you.

[awms]

Communication and compromise are key in a relationship and when these two things break down a relationship often starts to fall apart. A relationship is two sided and im guessing things broke down in your relationship because neither of you are being honest and open with each other? What you need to do is talk about what you both need from each other to make the relationship works...for you it could be more sex and cuddling and for her it could be doing the dishes more often or being more romantic ect ect...doesnt really matter you both need to compromise. Your goal in the relationship should be to try your hardest to make each other happy and bring each other up not down and its hard to do this if you dont know what shes thinking and she doesnt know what your thinking.

Also have some fun! have hobbies together and go on fun dates...somtimes when things become "normal" and have patern they get boring so change it up! try to things in the bedroom ect ect.

[songdog]

Dec 11 Took the words out of my mouth.Sorry Bro nothing like this is easy.But it sounds like the fire is out.Money rings cakes dinners.Wont change anything.The only thing that can help is talking.She maybe depressed.Only commuacation can help you.Good luck.

[Hoggage_54]

Some of my best friends are Women...

[PitMaster]

FACT: If your drunk it's not gay.

cool..I'm going out wearing some button flys, missing a few buttons. lol

Communication and compromise are key in a relationship and when these two things break down a relationship often starts to fall apart. A relationship is two sided and im guessing things broke down in your relationship because neither of you are being honest and open with each other? What you need to do is talk about what you both need from each other to make the relationship works...for you it could be more sex and cuddling and for her it could be doing the dishes more often or being more romantic ect ect...doesnt really matter you both need to compromise. Your goal in the relationship should be to try your hardest to make each other happy and bring each other up not down and its hard to do this if you dont know what shes thinking and she doesnt know what your thinking.

Also have some fun! have hobbies together and go on fun dates...somtimes when things become "normal" and have patern they get boring so change it up! try to things in the bedroom ect ect.

I have always been saying this to her about communication. She is so very closed off to everyone. I'm just not saying the right things. We don't fight all that much some bitchin here and there but no name calling...etc...

Dec 11 Took the words out of my mouth.Sorry Bro nothing like this is easy.But it sounds like the fire is out.Money rings cakes dinners.Wont change anything.The only thing that can help is talking.She maybe depressed.Only commuacation can help you.Good luck.

Thanx, I'm gonna mention therapy again and not just for her. Funny I was 14 when my parents had couple counseling, they divorced soon after. BUt that was cuz things surfaced...

Some of my best friends are Women...

Thats my problem, I really do love women.
Thanks guys for all the support, I think that's enough therapy for one day. I'll mention therapy to her...soon. If that's a no go I'll wait for her to get on her feet better(she is progessing) then I'll approach things from a different angle.

[PitMaster]

It's over. Don't worry about breaking her heart, she broke yours and she doesn't even like you.

Been together 6 years, I know she still loves me, fire just gone. I can see she still cares in some of the things she does.

[gixxerboy1]

cool..I'm going out wearing some button flys, missing a few buttons. lol



I have always been saying this to her about communication. She is so very closed off to everyone. I'm just not saying the right things. We don't fight all that much some bitchin here and there but no name calling...etc...



Thanx, I'm gonna mention therapy again and not just for her. Funny I was 14 when my parents had couple counseling, they divorced soon after. BUt that was cuz things surfaced...



Thats my problem, I really do love women.
Thanks guys for all the support, I think that's enough therapy for one day. I'll mention therapy to her...soon. If that's a no go I'll wait for her to get on her feet better(she is progessing) then I'll approach things from a different angle.

bro i respect you wanting to stay around till she is better but you need to go now. There is never going to be a good time to leave. She may get better but then you will be afraid to leave cause she might bounce back, unfortunately it sounds like it is over. You need to take care of yourself.

[PitMaster]

bro i respect you wanting to stay around till she is better but you need to go now. There is never going to be a good time to leave. She may get better but then you will be afraid to leave cause she might bounce back, unfortunately it sounds like it is over. You need to take care of yourself.

The funny thing is I love her and it's hope. I can see her getting better. I know that as I have gotten better things around me look brighter. Hope is a dangerous thing, Hope can drive a man Insane. (shawshank) I can't make a crass decision yet, I'm absorbing all this and gonna play it by ear and try and talk it out. I once tried to will someone to live...didn't quite work. BUt I didn't stop trying. For now I'm gonna cling to hope and maybe see about some threesomes or something. I'll throw it out there in a joking way and see how she responds. lol

[chi]

My last relationship with my girlfriend went this way.. At first it was sex many times per week, always talked and did cute things together. Man I fell in love. She could be so ****ing cute and sexy. Knew she'd make a good wife and mom. Clean girl, not typical skank I usually roll with lol.

...but yea, the affection from her side just starting dying down. It wasnt like she was seeing another guy either..and I trusted her more than any girl ive been with. Just her feelings went away, I know the stress of her going back to school and her dad being a piece of shit (long story) had alot to do with it but still it was weird. As she lost feelings we werent on the same page and it started minor fights and arguments because of it. I got really hurt and still wish it never happened that way, I really put my heart into that relationship. I knew though she either needed time to miss me and sort things out and we would get back together down the road OR I'd find a girl that would love me the same or more and give me the affection and attention I need.

I say walk away, give her space like I did. Its gonna be hard. Her number is still in my phone and we promised to try to stay great friends forever. We text every few weeks a couple times but that's about it. I'll be there for her always [you said you dont wanna hurt this girl, you dont have to]. but damn do you wanna live the rest of your life like this? I didnt. I need affection and attention, wanna feel loved. Think we all do.

well said...............it is human nature to want to be loved and appreciated. You can't force it and you can't force happiness. All you can do is search and find it. Pit master move on.......it would be the best thing you could do believe me.

[gixxerboy1]

The funny thing is I love her and it's hope. I can see her getting better. I know that as I have gotten better things around me look brighter. Hope is a dangerous thing, Hope can drive a man Insane. (shawshank) I can't make a crass decision yet, I'm absorbing all this and gonna play it by ear and try and talk it out. I once tried to will someone to live...didn't quite work. BUt I didn't stop trying. For now I'm gonna cling to hope and maybe see about some threesomes or something. I'll throw it out there in a joking way and see how she responds. lol

i know bud. I left my wife about 10 months ago, I kept hoping things would get better but they didnt. Finally i said enough is enough and moved out. After i got settled in my new place i was like a new man. I looked back and couldn't believe how miserable i was for so long.

[PitMaster]

i know bud. I left my wife about 10 months ago, I kept hoping things would get better but they didnt. Finally i said enough is enough and moved out. After i got settled in my new place i was like a new man. I looked back and couldn't believe how miserable i was for so long.

Made my heart skip a beat...Man u got some balls. your killin me with that statement. AT some point was there no more humor in each of your lives? I still laugh here and there. I don't wanna maker her out to be the bad guy, I think it's most my fault. I don't even know what to say that statement, u got kids too? I have none.

[gixxerboy1]

Made my heart skip a beat...Man u got some balls. your killin me with that statement. AT some point was there no more humor in each of your lives? I still laugh here and there. I don't wanna maker her out to be the bad guy, I think it's most my fault. I don't even know what to say that statement, u got kids too? I have none.

no kids. Not saying we hated each other. We still spent time together, did stuff together had sex. But we fought or didnt get along more then we did. Not everything was her fault either. But the fights and issues feed off each other. We went to counseling once. Things werent going to get better. So i could have staid and been miserable 25 days a month or leave and be happy 30 days.

i'd have to search on here but i made a thread when i left here. I didnt bad mouth her at all. But it was all saying how much of a difference i can see in myself. And i really didnt even know how miserable i was at the time.

[PitMaster]

well said...............it is human nature to want to be loved and appreciated. You can't force it and you can't force happiness. All you can do is search and find it. Pit master move on.......it would be the best thing you could do believe me.

no but I can and am altering my lifestyle and she is doing the same. I'm changin my life, everything else will flow . A lil more time won't kill me, I'm focused on training and diet for now and this will lead me, it always has.

[gixxerboy1]

And you never know what can happen. We didnt see each other once for 6 months after i left. We only talked if we had to about a bill or something. Now we talk and text pretty often and talk as friends. We are living in different states now but we have talked about trying again. So who knows.

[PitMaster]

no kids. Not saying we hated each other. We still spent time together, did stuff together had sex. But we fought or didnt get along more then we did. Not everything was her fault either. But the fights and issues feed off each other. We went to counseling once. Things werent going to get better. So i could have staid and been miserable 25 days a month or leave and be happy 30 days.

i'd have to search on here but i made a thread when i left here. I didnt bad mouth her at all. But it was all saying how much of a difference i can see in myself. And i really didnt even know how miserable i was at the time.

I see..I would like to read through it. My heart goes out to u man. No small task.

[powerliftmike]

You big softy mike....

Do you think you will end up back together... I think it would be nice if you did... I cant imagine just being friends, that would tear me up even more

I always hope for this, but I cant bank my life on hope. I gotta stay on the prowl talking to new women. It is very hard being just friends after being more...one party usually still has alot of feelings, in this case--me. She told me one time that she thought good idea to end things so that one day we might could have something really special again. At this point it looks like it's done, but like said Ill be there for her. I have no idea what will happen in my future.

Man Im not gonna be an internet badass and say I didnt cry for like weeks after most days. I did. Felt I lost something I worked so hard for. But I cannot make someone like me, and like said before if both parties arent on same page--it causes problems. I know I was the best boyfriend she ever had and will have. She was and is special to me, and I was in love. Not just being a bitch on clomid or something, I was on a tren cycle actually when broke up lol, so just goes to show you how much I felt for her.

I told her this shit at some point: no matter what happens, nobody can take those good memories away. But cant live in the past, I really believe that all good things come to an end. Hell, life comes to an end..

[PitMaster]

And you never know what can happen. We didnt see each other once for 6 months after i left. We only talked if we had to about a bill or something. Now we talk and text pretty often and talk as friends. We are living in different states now but we have talked about trying again. So who knows.

Maybe distance is a good thing, I hope u get waht u want , all this sounds so broken hearted to me. I gonna keep this under my hat. she be home in a sec. so i'm changing this page until she crashes. I have much respect for you and your strength and thanks for sharing such personal stuff.

[Gi812Many]

PITMASTER....I was married for 6 years and it got to the point where I hadn't slept with her in 3 months. My wife and I went through some major ups and downs and thought of divorcing her broke me in half. You sound like your holding on to the memories and comfort of having had one another for so long. The memories never fade nor does the love for one another. It just changes......You would be doing yourself a favor which is most important and her as well. You will be able to take these experiences and lessons learned and apply it to a relationship that is not damaged. I can attest to life after a long meaningful relationship, I am happier now than I ever was in my marriage....Just did not see it till I was out Relationships are one of the most valuable things to me, I am a better man for having been in it and so will you. Take the time away, let her go as hard as it may seem to be...with in a month or two, you will be doing fine

[ShadowWarrior646]

I have been faithful for these last 6 years and believe her to be the same

you're much more patient than I am. Mine has stuck with me through some tough shit, but I'm not gonna be ignored and treated like I'm unwanted.

[PitMaster]

I always hope for this, but I cant bank my life on hope. I gotta stay on the prowl talking to new women. It is very hard being just friends after being more...one party usually still has alot of feelings, in this case--me. She told me one time that she thought good idea to end things so that one day we might could have something really special again. At this point it looks like it's done, but like said Ill be there for her. I have no idea what will happen in my future.

Man Im not gonna be an internet badass and say I didnt cry for like weeks after most days. I did. Felt I lost something I worked so hard for. But I cannot make someone like me, and like said before if both parties arent on same page--it causes problems. I know I was the best boyfriend she ever had and will have. She was and is special to me, and I was in love. Not just being a bitch on clomid or something, I was on a tren cycle actually when broke up lol, so just goes to show you how much I felt for her.

I told her this shit at some point: no matter what happens, nobody can take those good memories away. But cant live in the past, I really believe that all good things come to an end. Hell, life comes to an end..

o.k. after I read your post and gix's I had to get away. Opened up quite a can of worms here and guess I wasn't ready for the responses. Sounds like your girl broke it off with you and it crushed u. This is how it would make her feel. I'm gonna work on this.

PITMASTER....I was married for 6 years and it got to the point where I hadn't slept with her in 3 months. My wife and I went through some major ups and downs and thought of divorcing her broke me in half. You sound like your holding on to the memories and comfort of having had one another for so long. The memories never fade nor does the love for one another. It just changes......You would be doing yourself a favor which is most important and her as well. You will be able to take these experiences and lessons learned and apply it to a relationship that is not damaged. I can attest to life after a long meaningful relationship, I am happier now than I ever was in my marriage....Just did not see it till I was out Relationships are one of the most valuable things to me, I am a better man for having been in it and so will you. Take the time away, let her go as hard as it may seem to be...with in a month or two, you will be doing fine

I'm not worried about myself. I lost my last one to untimely death, messed me up for a bit, so this wouldn't be as bad, I don't think. I worry bout her being fine.
Wise words u have.
After reading all these posts I am so humble and drained. I think I'm just gonna try and crash early. Thanks again all for sharing, tough to talk about such things.