Over the past several years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than has been spent on Alzheimer's research. Scientists predict that by 2030, there will be a large number of people walking around with huge breasts and erections who can't remember what to do with them.

A bystander noticed an unusual funeral consisting of one hearse followed by another. Behind the second hearse, a man was walking a pit bull. Behind him, 30 men where following in a single-file line. The bystander approached the man walking the dog and said, "Sir, I realize this is a bad time to disturb you, but i have never seen a funeral like this. Could you tell me what is going on?"

The man replied, "Well the first hearse is for my wife. My dog attacked and killed her. The second hearse is for my mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.:

The bystander asked, "Sir, could I borrow that dog?"

The man replied, "Get in line."